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Taff

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  1. Like
    Taff got a reaction from Shite Ron in Primrose R75...... The End, for now...   
    SHAG THEM BOTH!
     
    er...
  2. Haha
    Taff got a reaction from 2flags in 'just bloody scrap it' - the eBay 'fuck me, what were they thinking' thread   
    That is a remarkable description, I really don't know where to start
  3. Like
    Taff got a reaction from Sealtainn in Autoshite Decals - restock *pg 11* £2.50   
    as a huge fan of barter, I have just sent you three chickens and a turnip.
     
    via paypal of course, it's not the middle ages you know
  4. Like
    Taff got a reaction from Laseraligningfoofooflanges in Claim's Cabbies Corner. UPDATE SOON   
    /\ what he said. When I was posted over there, I picked up a mid-70's W114 220d ex cab for a few quid. It was still in beige and all they had done was remove the taxi stuff and put black rubber bungs in the holes. 250,000km on it and I ran it for two years with just a set of tyres as expense. even put it round the Nurberg with four semi-pissed squaddie mates in it, I believe we posted the slowert time of 1996 that day.
  5. Like
    Taff got a reaction from warren t claim in Autoshite TV   
    Shite, camera, action!- reality TV series with the Traffic division of Cumbria Police who, having been stripped of funding by the government, have resorted to selling the pursuit car footage to make ends meet. Hilarious scenes featuring an east-European immigrant driver of a Mk3 Astra with poor English skills and no valid UK licence getting accidently tasered in front of his 8year old daughter!
     
    Britain’s got shite- Talent show, where a panel of Piers Morgan, Simon Cowell and a woman who once stripped naked on TV spend 40 seconds evaluating your car before criticising you, your family and career choices.
     
    Sun, sea & shite. This week in Cyprus where an Irish girl you’ve never heard of and a welsh bloke with good abs and impossibly white teeth tour Kyrena and spunk up all over a rusty Austin 1100 with bald cross plies and a shagged-out A-series.
     
    Have I got shite for you – topical news show where the panel are shown a series of clips from motoring-themed programmes and are expected to make witty comments about it. Team captains this week are Leepu and Vikki B/H.
     
    Shitestation:- two blonde girls from Durham who look vaguely alike, with bad tattoos and wearing just glittery thongs attempt to change the turbo on a 1991 Saab
  6. Like
    Taff got a reaction from warren t claim in Autoshite TV   
    Ultimate Shite:- Drama.  A crack team of internet ne’er-do wells in one piece black overalls identify the owner of a 1986 Citroën BX who is attempting to sell his car on Facebook
     
    Shite under the hammer:- perma-tanned buffoon David Dickinson cackles like a fishwife as a series of blokes who should know better but choose to ignore reality bid on a J reg Proton with no working handbrake.
     
    Can’t cope, wont cope:- Hard hitting documentary about mental illness and suicide attempts brought on following a lifetime of fault finding on Italian automotive electrical systems. Contains harrowing scenes
     
    Shite on Mars:- Gritty cop drama involving s whole range of ‘70s cars that, with the benefit of rose tinted specs and a huge BBC mechanics budget, are seen to start first time, every time
     
    Shitestation:- a chubby girl from Croydon with bad tattoos and wearing just a glittery thong attempts to change the turbo on a 1991 Saab
  7. Like
    Taff got a reaction from drivewaymyway in Autoshite TV   
    Ultimate Shite:- Drama.  A crack team of internet ne’er-do wells in one piece black overalls identify the owner of a 1986 Citroën BX who is attempting to sell his car on Facebook
     
    Shite under the hammer:- perma-tanned buffoon David Dickinson cackles like a fishwife as a series of blokes who should know better but choose to ignore reality bid on a J reg Proton with no working handbrake.
     
    Can’t cope, wont cope:- Hard hitting documentary about mental illness and suicide attempts brought on following a lifetime of fault finding on Italian automotive electrical systems. Contains harrowing scenes
     
    Shite on Mars:- Gritty cop drama involving s whole range of ‘70s cars that, with the benefit of rose tinted specs and a huge BBC mechanics budget, are seen to start first time, every time
     
    Shitestation:- a chubby girl from Croydon with bad tattoos and wearing just a glittery thong attempts to change the turbo on a 1991 Saab
  8. Like
    Taff got a reaction from The Reverend Bluejeans in Autoshite Decals - restock *pg 11* £2.50   
    so my latest sticker order arrived hot foot from Chateau Shitpeas and as ever they are top notch. But don't just take my word for it, check out the opinion of a small dinosaur
     

     

     
    AutoShite - Endorsed by small dinosaurs
     

     
  9. Like
    Taff got a reaction from chodweaver in Welding For Beginners?   
    another vote for the Clarke 150 here. I'm on my second, the first one lasted 17 years, this one ten so far.
     
    Clean metal! mig thrives on clean metal, if your metal isn't clean, the mig will burp & fart all over the place, so make sure your metal is clean. If you can invent a way to weld mud to rust, you will become a millionaire over night.
     
    Did I mention clean metal?
  10. Like
    Taff got a reaction from Junkman in Autoshite Decals - restock *pg 11* £2.50   
    so my latest sticker order arrived hot foot from Chateau Shitpeas and as ever they are top notch. But don't just take my word for it, check out the opinion of a small dinosaur
     

     

     
    AutoShite - Endorsed by small dinosaurs
     

     
  11. Like
    Taff got a reaction from Shandylegs in Alf's Ageing Autos   
    that is a lovely truck.
     
    My galaxie had a million little niggles with it, boot catch didn't, lights worked in the wrong order, stuck linkages.
    seized engine. A year of fiddling and a crate of WD40 and she runs like a dream.
     
    Ref the wiring, I'm guessing a Moggy Minor loom would have enough circuits for you, and would only need the rear light circuits lengthening to suit? Cheap and easily available.
     
    Nothing quite like that first roar of sound out of the motor, is there?
  12. Like
    Taff got a reaction from AMC Rebel in Alf's Ageing Autos   
    Don't know about you Alf, but I have found d that the engineering on the Galaxie (& this holds true of other yanks over the years) and I don't recall stripping or shearing a bolt on them.
     
     
    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  13. Like
    Taff got a reaction from Dick Longbridge in I wish i still had   
    Gaffer, it's a long list but...having thought about it
     
    1973 Mk1 Escort Mexico. Sold it to carpet my first marital home in 1995. I know, you can't hate me anymore than I hate myself.
    1952 Cadillac Coupe de Ville. Had to sell it to keep the family afloat after being made redundant. Reality truly is a muthafucka on occasion. I won't ever see another, never mind own another.
    1994 VW Polo. It cost me a tyre and oil + filters for 30,000 miles over 3 years.
     
    edit to add. Hair
  14. Like
    Taff got a reaction from Station in The Urba Centurion, 128mpg sports car! From 1981   
    Why is it that every kit car seems to end up with trailer rear lights fitted to them?
  15. Like
    Taff got a reaction from Magnificent Rustbucket in Automotive bull5hit facts thread   
    James Hunt was the lead tech advisor on the Allegro. The quadrant wheel was his idea.
  16. Like
    Taff got a reaction from Magnificent Rustbucket in Automotive bull5hit facts thread   
    Inspired by an idea in IainL’s car show thread, I’ve got a few starters for ten.
     
    Les Dennis the comedian’s grandfather set up and ran a firm that manufactured the first specific-to-role fire engines.
     
    Mk1 Ford Escort was originally due to be called the Mk2 Anglia but this was changed as the Cologne region of Germany where all Mk1 Escorts were built was extensively bombed by Allied planes taking off from airfields in the East Anglia region.
     
    Alec Issigonis, the designer of the Mini, the Minor & inventor of the Flymo, was also a professional Rugby League player until breaking his collarbone playing for Hull Kingston Rovers against Widnes in the 1931 Challenge Cup Final.
     
    In your own time, carry on...
  17. Like
    Taff got a reaction from binhoker668 in The Great Cortina Hunt. A sad true story.   
    a couple of years ago, I was rolling around in a bright yellow 1959 Vauxhall Cresta PA mid-series, and very nice it was too. Until the motor blew up in my face while giving it large on the M5 one afternoon.
     
    during the tow home and whilst pondering with a mate where I was going to find a replacement 2600 engine (I know, not original but thats what was in there) my oppo suggested a wanted ad in the local rag. why not , whats the worst that can happen? so ad placed and forgotten about
     
    cue a phone call from a bloke who was clearing out his recently deceased fathers place and had a 1962 Cresta PA that he wanted to sell and was I interested? Not really, only need an engine, says I, but he was local so I agreed to pop round, expecting a shit heap with a siezed lump and a five figure price tag.
     
    Now, I know this is the internet and we all love a tall story, but the following is genuine dit and I'll try to dig out the photo's and scan them in if I can. The guy selling told me that his dad had bought the Cresta brand new in 1962 and used it daily for 8 years or so, until such time as a broken handbrake cable saw it off the road on a tuesday, the intention being to fix it over the coming weekend. Only, Dad suffered a stroke at work later that week and never drove it again.
    To cap it all, Dad was a smart cookie and, knowing the car would be laid up for a while, got his brother to take a few precutions. The fuel tank was brimmed, right up to the filler neck, the car was put up on stands and the air was let out of the tyres, the plugs were removed and the bores filled with engine oil and finally, the interior had loads of carrier bags of silica gel inside.
     
    And at was how I found it in 2004. I paid a grand for it, spent 2 weeks fettling it to get it running again (which it did, only needed a battery, starter solenoid and some fresh fuel) along with some air in the tyres and then swapped it for a mint '61 Consul Capri.
     
    So, they are out there, though in 20 years of arsing about with cars Ive only ever found that one... I'll try to dig out the pics, lovely motor it was.
  18. Like
    Taff got a reaction from dugong in Parking Permits & CO2 Levels... But It's a Pre-2001 Car!   
    OP, want to borrow this? MoT exempt, so no emisions to measure
     

     
    It's insured and road legal, so if you want to ask them what it will cost you to park outside your gaff, feel free. 208" long, if they ask.
  19. Like
    Taff got a reaction from inconsistant in Austin Maxi 1750   
    I have long had a sneaky desite to pro-street a Maxi. Cut the body off the floor pan and space-frame it, small block chevy, 350 transmission, narrowed Volvo rear axle, you get the picture.
     
    Leave it looking fairly stock on the outside (big rear tyres not withstanding) and then smoke about in it laughing at the flat cappers. I suspect the 5.7l engine would lend itself to towing duties quite well although obvs the fuel consumption would suffer
  20. Like
    Taff got a reaction from fotorabia in Dumped cars in your area   
    there is a 51 plate silver berlingo (I think that's what it is) dumped in a layby just south of J18 M4 (the A46 towards Bath). The layby is a known gay dogging site, so I haven't stopped to look further
  21. Like
    Taff got a reaction from noseypoke in Dumped cars in your area   
    there is a 51 plate silver berlingo (I think that's what it is) dumped in a layby just south of J18 M4 (the A46 towards Bath). The layby is a known gay dogging site, so I haven't stopped to look further
  22. Like
    Taff got a reaction from KruJoe in Lazy spotters thread   
    Oooof!

  23. Like
    Taff got a reaction from Aston Martin in Dumped cars in your area   
    there is a 51 plate silver berlingo (I think that's what it is) dumped in a layby just south of J18 M4 (the A46 towards Bath). The layby is a known gay dogging site, so I haven't stopped to look further
  24. Like
    Taff got a reaction from Nyphur in 1994 Rover 414SLi - Fin.   
    the fact that spigot rings even exist would indicate to me that there is a need for them.
     
    As I recall (it was a few years ago, admittedly) the hub locates the wheel via the centre bore and the studs/nuts/bolts secure the wheel.
     
    The adaptors I had years back to get from chevy wheels onto a Volvo axle had a spigot on them
  25. Like
    Taff got a reaction from mat_the_cat in Renault Laguna, Y reg. But why, Reg?   
    That is class, a German telling a Yorkshireman in Spanish how to fix a French car.
     
    Fuck you, ISIS, you hear me? FUCK YOU!
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