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Luxobarges_Are_Us

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  1. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us got a reaction from robinmasters in I CAN HAZ... trader insurance!   
    what is "bottom book"? There's only one question to be asked when determining a payout here:
     
    "How much does it WEIGH?"
  2. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us got a reaction from Faker in If Autoshite did rally cars   
    3 words: Talbot Samba Rallye!
  3. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us got a reaction from hennabm in Shite Special Editions - many out there?   
    The Polo Harlequin is a fantastic idea for shiters, as it allows you to raid scrapyards without worrying about the colour of the new panels. Unfortunately, most of the people who buy car loans would probably never think about buying anything off a scrapyard, so I can understand why it wasn't that successful.
     
    What does the 'colour' field in registration document say?
  4. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us got a reaction from cros in Old chod banned in Paris   
    OMG POLITIX POST!!1!111!
     
    I think people are getting confused- this 'nanny-state' is what socialism is all about.
     
    The fact that the Tories are a bunch of self-serving shysters doesn't make socialism any less evil.
     
     
    I am incredibly annoyed by this news item. I'd like to see it taken to the European Court of Human Rights and defeated due to being in breach of freedom of movement, one of the key principles of the Union.
  5. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us got a reaction from the judge in Puncture goes mental- the latest.   
    That sounds good...I guess it sounds pretty logical, but I've never had a puncture repair that didn't involve wheel removal...Wonder why the place I went to didn't try it.
  6. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us got a reaction from Peter Patina in Autoshite: "not just Pistonheads for poor people".   
    I love this place. There probably isn't another forum anywhere on the interwebs where TXTSKP is frowned upon while profanity is embraced, and I don't have a problem with occasionally hammering a smaller thread over a big one.
  7. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us got a reaction from Vince70 in Autoshite: "not just Pistonheads for poor people".   
    I love this place. There probably isn't another forum anywhere on the interwebs where TXTSKP is frowned upon while profanity is embraced, and I don't have a problem with occasionally hammering a smaller thread over a big one.
  8. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us got a reaction from Bobthebeard in Petrol V Diesel   
    I've never owned a diesel, although that has been more of a coincidence than a conscious choice.
     
    With the exception of company cars with their funny taxation rules, running a modern diesel is completely pointless. The fuel savings aren't that big- plenty of petrol cars return 40+mpg- and the turbos, DMFs and DPFs are just accidents waiting to happen. Veg oil makes much more sense, of course, but it would kill most modern cars.
     
    Personally I'm a fan of LPG. On a per-mile basis it may not represent a massive saving, but it's a good thing that a smaller proportion of your money goes to the taxman (I saw a Polo parked outside some NHS management offices, the registration number was H8 LPG- I'd also hate it if the low tax was a threat to my salary), it's mega-clean (the oil's spotless right to the day when you change it), and dual-fuel is a good backup- if one of the systems is having a problem, you just switch to the other!
  9. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us got a reaction from Pete-M in Derek Robinson, aka 'Red Robbo', good or bad?   
    Classic car status is not a guide to whether a car was any good when new.
     
    For all its advanced looks, technology etc, the Citroen CX is still pretty much firmly in shite territory. You can't give old Toyotas and Mazdas away (apart from a couple of exceptions which are seen as GR8 4 DRIFTN), even if they were infinitely more reliable than the 'bona fide classic' Triumphs and Hillmans (Hillmen?) against which they were competing.
  10. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to Conrad D. Conelrad in 1984 VW Golf Cabrio - 01/12 - On the Road   
    WHY HAVE YOU STARTED A THREAD ABOUT THIS BORING CRAP?
  11. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to maxpower in Subtext   
  12. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to CreepingJesus in Subtext   
    "So, Doreen; how'd you like the new Vauxhall Cavalier 1.6 GL the board decided I should have?"
    "Erm...it's lovely Malcolm. So...erm...modern and now and stuff. But why is it toilet avocado?"
    "Just for you, Doreen. It's avocado inside too. Would you like to see?"
    "Just for me? Well...erm...maybe later Malcolm"
    "Good girl, Doreen, that's the idea!"
    "Eh?"
    "Well, it's exactly the same colourscheme as the executive toilets, so maybe later we can see if you feel as at home with me banging you silly, in the back of the Vauxhall Cavalier 1.6 GL, as you clearly do, in the executive toilets."
    "Well I never..."
    "You definitely did, love..." *Sid James laughter to fade*
  13. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to CreepingJesus in Subtext   
    *Cheesy American ad voice*
    Hey you groovy hep cats - That visible vibration is an all-new built in design feature. With Spectra-Vibe engaged, you'll feel like you're doing 100mph standing still! Wow! Just look at the expression on that guy's face: he's been in there for an hour now, and he's seeing the future! But don't worry, he's only looking like that because he's seen the funny side of a place called Autoshite. Another hour, and the hallucinations might even make him think he's posting rational replies there. Now, hey! Wow! Wouldn't that be amazing? You too can have all this for $99 down, and...
  14. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to Conrad D. Conelrad in Subtext   
    "Yes! yes! it's me" exclaimed the man as he stepped out of his car. "I can't live on the run anymore, I know the net is closing in, I just want it to be over. I want to hand myself in. I admit everything. I was responsible for the ethnic cleansing in Yuknastistan during the 1986-89 civil war, I ordered the execution of the prisoners of war, I led the massacre at Nightmare cavern in 88, I was responsible for all of it". 
     
    "What?" said the boarding school teacher. 
  15. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to Micrashed in Subtext   
    You twat.
    You told me you owned a Porsche - and to think I sucked your dick last night.
  16. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to Partridge in Subtext   
    Because of Miss Money Penny messing up, Sean Connery, 007 as been reduced to using a Renault 4. However he gets his revenge by wiping his balls on her avocado pears when she’s not looking, just before serving them, hence the devilish look.
     
    “That will teatsh the bitsh to mesh up my avish rental again" 
  17. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to Wilko220 in Subtext   
    The girl is saying: "Mum, is the door supposed to fall off its hinges like this?"
  18. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to Conrad D. Conelrad in Subtext   
    Jack rolled his eyes when he saw the size of his father's suitcase. "Jesus, Dad, you're going to a war crimes tribunal, not Butlins".
     
    "War crimes tribunal?" said Grandpa Hans, dropping his tennis racquet in shock. "I thought we were taking the kids to boarding school!".
     
    Grandpa's trial did not go well. 
  19. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to vulgalour in Subtext   
    I like to make up little stories for those terrible pictures you see on car brochures and in adverts.  Some are superb and I'm sure I'm reading a different message to what's been attempted by the original creator.
     
    Take this advert for a Dacia Denem.  Personally, I think it looks like the result of a divorce where he gets to keep the lovely lemon Jag but she's lumbered with several children and a Dacia Denem.  I can't decide if he's a hero or some sort of monster.  Either way they'll both end up miserable while they await breakdown recovery at the side of the [insert miserable motorway here] remembering all the mistakes they ever made that got them to where they are now.
     

  20. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to hairymel in Suggestion   
    Wilko - i think you will find that i must have the last word
  21. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to hairymel in Suggestion   
    i tend to broadly agree with studebaker and  mr luxo.
     
    the lack of direct moderation is a refreshing change from some other less open forums.
     
    i personally would like to see mods only dealing with the spam and letting everything else sort itself out naturally.
     
    trigger cav and particularly dave have put a huge amount of effort into the forum in the last month or so and i for one am very grateful.
     
    management of forums is a very difficult balancing act and will never please everyone all of the time.
     
     
    the cyclical toy/pram episodes are a feature of life/forums/people in general and i think its best to let them run their course naturally.
     
    on a less important note -not keen on stickies either, at worst have one with forum etiquette guide and links to other relevant threads.
     
    i also like the single forum format as it keeps the board fluid.
     
     
     
    ps wilco - i can see why you are upset but you are making yourself look the badman by not stepping back and taking a deep breath.
     
    group hugs and making up all round  ,then back to normal service hopefully
     
     
     
    edit / seems 20 minute delay has been applied to my account and everything is ok now
  22. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to HillmanImp in Poll to help wade through the shit?   
    This thread is dedicated to Mark E. Smith out of The Fall who, during an interview in 1986, became the first man in history to point out that Autoshite was not as good as it used to be.  
  23. Like
  24. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to Des in Poll to help wade through the shit?   
    Bitches, chill!
     

     
     
     
     
  25. Like
    Luxobarges_Are_Us reacted to wackywacerwill in Poll to help wade through the shit?   
    TAGORA, rubs thighs....
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