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hairymel last won the day on April 10 2016

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About hairymel

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  1. Afaik the mini uses similar hardware /software to a 1 series bmw. Some obd codes bring up the service light. Perhaps you need to fix some of the broken stuff as well as giving it oil 😛
  2. Never used a hole saw but back seat base out and application of aviation snips enables replacement of the fuel pump from above. YouTube videos are available
  3. I have been ignoring a small split on my voyager exhaust for 3 and a half months. It's been very noisey for the last 3 months In a act of extreme exertion I have dragged my arse out of bed before 11am and popped to work to have a look. It's split and rusted out over half way round the middle box. So up on the 'portable lift' and a quick buzz with the welder. Hopefully it will at least last to mot time
  4. Smoll update on my previous posts on my mates 1 series bmw. Apparently I am now his diagnostic first line. So far i have struggled through inoperative electronic steering lock, radio recoding , immobiliser reprogramming and several other stupid computer related issues. It's come back with airbag/seat belt light on On closer inspection it appears to have an intermittent fault in the explosive disconnect on the battery positive terminal. What the actual fuck is that was my first response. Not come across one before but apparently it's a thing. I cleared the code as mot is due and left him to reset the connectors to see if it comes back. I was also asked to reset the service light as he has done engine and brake service. That went as well as expected. There are 5 or six items on the conditional service list that need resetting. All fine except the front brakes. On reset they showed 255% and then threw a code for implausible data which would not clear. Further research shows this is another 'common' issue when new wear sensors are not fitted. Old one was fine apparently. At 7pm at night the fix was to disconnect the loom to the sensor, jumper the two feed wires and then perform the reset. Replugged the sensor and currently all lights are off. All through this procedure my buddy was telling me that what I was doing was wrong and couldn't possibly work. This really sets off my autism. I can't deal with people who ask me to do stuff for them and then tell me what/how to do the thing they getting me to do. After that I went to my dads to look at some garden tools. He seems to pay a 'gardener' to come round and break stuff. Chainsaw and chainsaw on a pole both with jammed/fallen off chains. I was presented with a box full of bits as my dad 'had had a look at them' The bar on one apparently was bent but he had staightened it already, reassembly was halted by the chainbrake not fitting back on. I sorted that, all the while being told I was doing it wrong. The chainsaw on a pole after much pissing about seems to have an issue with the teeth meshing in the gearbox. I think either the gearshaft or bearing cover is bent enough to jam the teeth. Cue 45 minutes googling the poxy home shopping channel 'multitool' and I have ordered a whole new generic gearbox from China. £14 and i don't have to worry about putting back together for a month Tldr: bmws are unreliable and have too many electronics, people are annoying and gardeners are more so.
  5. Always a good thing to have an excuse to buy inexpensive tools😉
  6. Think you only need to find a way to cut off fuel flow between the pump and after the pressure reg. Dunno about vulvas but most ford's you can use a bit of 8mm copper microbore and a bit of fuel hose to bridge the quick connects. ie female connector has a bit of microbore shoved in it then a bit of fuel hose that pushes onto the male connector. Plus a couple of jubilee clips. Do that before the fuel rail and after the reg then power up. Crimp the pump side hose and you rule out the pump back feeding Crimp the return and power off and you at least narrow it to reg and injectors
  7. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DL8toqPcXKA Diagnostic procedure from south main auto.
  8. In my experience that proverb does not compute if you are the poor sod who has the problem shared* with😂
  9. 'Clicks on roffle expecting some sort of Japanese van type thing' Dissapoint 'Clicks back button on browser' Glwtr 😎
  10. Sadly I have been very quiet on the car front for sometime. I have not touched any of my projects for ages. This burst of activity was just helping some close friends out. Tbh they were both fairly dreadful jobs but i find it much easier working on other people's cars. Perhaps it because I just want the pain to end rather than worrying about when im next going to put the kettle on😃
  11. Also in dispatches : a friend whos fiesta i welded back together a couple of years ago came back with a request for a couple of small patches on the outer sill. I even got her to ask her mot man if he was certain it was only the outer sill. He was either very lax or wanted to fcuk me over. Front on the other side was just as bad all the way into the floor pan. Done and moted now though. Just have to work my way through a very large stock of thank you booze 😎
  12. Had a customer return on this one Radio had lost the aux option? Obviously all my fault. Factory fitted aux/USBn the armrest but won't come up on the mode select of the radio. Parrot hands free also has stopped working. Lots of googling and apparently the radio needs to see a resistor across the inputs and also have a firmware flag present to allow aux function. Also usually buggers up with a flat/ removed battery. Got him to disassemble the dash as penance while I tried to reflash the radio. 1+1/2 hrs of pissing about and I managed to set the aux on flag in the firmware and laugh at the birds nest of wiring and interface boxes he had uncovered. Bmw oem aux works now so I said the parrot is not my problem😀 Since my previous fiddling the rain sensor triggered front wipers and reverse triggered rear wiper now both work which they never did before. I call it a win🖒
  13. My best drinking buddy changed a front spring on his sons e87 1series bmw. Of course as soon as he had finished that it randomly came up with a electronic steering lock error and wouldn't even start. I was asked to help. Foolishly I said yes. My delphi ds150 clone with cars2014 and WOW wouldnt clear the fault so we bought a bmw k+dcan cable and I installed bmw standard tools. I spent an evening installing this. Then another evening pissing about trying to clear the fault then another evening trying to update the cas (car access sytem) firmware as a suggested fix. Then another evening digging through the dash to remove the electronic steering lock which is affixed by 5 sided security torx screws.which we didn't have a suitable bit for. I managed to get the lock motor to actuate but it was decided to buy a £70 lock emulator rather than put the lock back on and have it fail again. This cleared the fault but now the immobiliser (cas - dme) was throwing up a tamper fault. By this time the install of bmw tools was buggered by having to keep changing settings between the programs to get the cable to work. Deep despair caused many beers. And discussion of scrap values. I spent 13 hours reinstalling the software plus versions of ista p and d (older bmw main dealer software) paying close attention to configs so I didn't have to fudge the settings if I needed to change the program I was using. I wish using unsupported pirated main dealer software was easier🙄 After almost 2 weeks of spending every spare minute scouring the internet to understand the problem, and downloading nearly 1/2 a terabyte of files, I spent an hour today resetting stuff and screwing the interior back together and normal service has resumed. Tldr Stupid idea having a cheap plastic Chinese toy thing to work the steering lock and computerised diagnosis/repair is not the same as undoing a couple of shear bolts. Fixed it though😆
  14. My voyager finally did something interesting
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