Formula Autos

Fantastic car, great thread, just what AS should be about. 

Now that's what I call a triumphant return. Wonderful.

Reported to the mods for being TOO MEGA. 
Nice to see you back, and great to see more of that lovely machine. 
Very well bought. 

According to the post it was factory built. Possibly at a factory that makes camping equipment 

The model sat in the Marina is Ayshea Brough, is it not? 
 
She appeared in Gerry Anderson’s series UFO (in fact it’s her arse that is pervily lingered on in the title sequence as she walks away from camera, down a corridor of SHADO’s base). 
 
This just further backs up the Gerry Anderson/Marina/Ital connection. 
 
Rumour also has it that the self-driving colour-changing car in Terrahawks, known as Hudson, was originally to have been an Austin Montego. The car was set to be launched around the same time as the series was due to go on air in the UK, and a cross-promotion deal to include the Montego in the show was being worked out with Gerry Anderson’s co-producer Christopher Burr.  Gerry was so incensed with Austin-Rover/BL’s antics in the past though that he tore up the agreement, and so Hudson became a Rolls-Royce.

Sherpa Cabrio/Coupe - MGB Roadster/GT
 
Cavalier in a shell suit - Vauxhall Calibra
 
Mondeo in a party frock - Ford Cougar
 
Pez - petrol
 
Dizzler - diesel
 
Dr. Diesel's evil invention - a compression ignition engine running on heavy fuel oil. A dizzler.
 
J-tin - A vehicle of Japanese origin.
 
Fugly - Worse than ugly. See also: gopping.
 
Moto-Scat - A breakaway movement from Autoshite, after a bit of a falling out. Aims to be more serious than AS. It's leader, Leonard Hatred (AKA Milford Cubicle/Marcello Gandini/Lacquer Peel/FOAD/plain old Len) can usually still be found on Autoshite though, as can some of the members of Moto-Scat - so it hasn't broken too far away.
 
OSF - Old Sporty Ford. Usualy subject to swingeing Scene Tax (see also). Most highly valuable OSFs can no longer be left parked on the roadside, as they would be taken, post-haste, by theiving scrotes (NB: not to be confused with a Scrote, which is a Ford Escort).
 
Gallic Quality Control - At its most rigorous this can include both a cursory glance AND a shrug of the shoulders.
 
Spaghetti Marelli - An italian automotive electronics firm. The world's leading purveyors of spaghetti electrics.

Council Estate Spec - A vehicle of similar outward appearance to Onslow from Keeping Up Appearances' Cortina. A vehicle with a certain "couldn't give a shit" air about it, that suggests it started its journey from an domestic appliance strewn front garden. Giveaway signs can include mismatched panels and wheels and a multitude of battle scars. Smaller, non-essential components such as badging, side indicators, and passenger mirrors are often removed/missing - perhaps in accordance with Colin Champan's ethos of "adding lightness". A prime example of this spec is THAT Volvo estate which I believe in currently in cms206's possession. Such vehicles are often judged to be grim/EPIC/full of WIN.

Seems like we're expecting a sudden influx of members on this new fangled board doo-hickey, so I've compiled the following (in the style of Viz's Profanisaurus) to allow them to stand a fighting chance of knowing what us saddos are banging on about. Feel free to add any more terms I may have missed. 
 
 
Bavarian Sierra – A BMW 3 series.
 
BOL (or Book of Lies) – Owners Workshop Manuals, published by Haynes. Lies are in the form of statements such as “refitting is the reversal of removalâ€Â. These publications have led to much shite being stranded in lock-ups the world over.
 
Bubble Rovers – the Rover 200 (later 25) that succeeded the R8. Increasingly seen as being loaded with WIN (see also).
 
Disastra – Vauxhall Astra. Seemingly more Disastraous with successive models – the Mk 1 being seen as something of a WINNAR – mobile (see also), whilst the latest model is seen by some as a bloated example of everything wrong with modern cars.
 
EPIC – A purchase of outstanding quality. May be an acronym for Excellence Personified In Car form (or that may be utter bullshit).
 
eBay ***** (edited by Mods to remove an offensive slang term that disparages certain members of the disabled community) – A particularly annoying lifeform, who seem to congeregate in this online market. Often reported to communicate by grunting. They can usually be discerned by spotting the tell-tale signs, such as crap/vague/misleading descriptions of their goods (often almost entirely in TXT SPK), upside down pictures, over-optimistic valuations, or offers to buy a grand’s worth of car for “HNDRD CASH – COLCT 2NITE M8?â€Â. Best avoided, although this isn’t always possible. Invariably they know someone “in the tradeâ€Â*, who accompanies them on a test drive.
 
*or has seen 8 episodes of Wheeler Dealers and is thus up there with Wayne Carini in the knowledge department.
 
Evil Bay – eBay. Usually described as such by those who have been royally screwed in terms of fees and/or their eBay rating, or who have suffered terribly at the hands of eBay mongs (see also).
 
Gallic Allegro – Renault 14.
 
Gopping – Of dubious aesthetic quality, e.g. a Ssang-Yyong Rodius, or David Gest.
 
Halfrauds – Halfords. Mention of this word is almost as divisive as that of Vauxhall (see also).
 
HGF – (often prefaced by OMG, to express extreme surprise) Head Gasket Failure. Seen by some as almost inevitable for Kettle series engines (see also).
 
Kettle series – A range of engines used in Rover vehicles from 1989 onwards. Often suffering from OMG HGF (see also). Sometimes known as K Series.
 
Grim – an expression of the excellence of a particular vehicle. Grimness is usually determined by the vehicle’s unattractiveness to the general motoring public, poor levels of equipment or appointments, or general poor condition. Grimness can usually be enhanced by paint or trim in unappealing ‘earth’ colours, dubious reliability, and a general “un-MOT-able†air. Grim vehicles are best photographed in a ‘vibrant’ part of town with a blurry camera phone, for maximum effect.
 
‘Honda’ engined – A flowery term used by eBay mongs (see also) to try and convince even more mongish punters to buy their K series/ diesel engined Rover on eBay. Were you to believe the pronouncements of these vendors, you would have to come to the conclusion that there are more Honda engine Rover products in existence now than ever actually left Rover’s factories in the first place.
 
Pisshat – VW Passat.
 
Pogweasel Pink – A definite shade that red cars fade to over time. Not quite pink, but pinkish, and not red either. Named after a number of afflicted vehicles owned by prolific former member “Pogweaselâ€Â.
 
Puke – Nissan Juke. Also known as the Joke, Datsun on Stilts, etc., etc.
 
RATLUK – The needless ruination of perfectly good cars by knobheads trying to be ‘individual’.
 
ROFLcopter – an almost mythical device that used to be deployed many years ago at times of extreme mirth. Its exact purpose was unclear, but it is possible that the combination of the downdraught from its rotor blades, and the fumes from its poorly maintained powerplant may have sent those in the vicinity into a sort-of laughing gas like stupor, thus prolonging the aforementioned mirth. Not seen for years, it is rumoured that the ROFLcopter was KV6 powered and thus has suffered an inevitable double HGF (see also). Unfounded rumours abound that it may be stashed in Sam Glover’s hangar, behind a DAF.
 
Scene tax – An extraordinarily stupid levy applied to cars that are seen as being cool, and part of a ‘scene’, which drives the price up to stupid levels. Usually applies to sporty Fords and VAG products.
 
Shizzle – Shite.
 
Tagora – A byword for excellence, and a car which ownership of marks you out as being in the Special Forces of shiting.
 
Top bombing – A pronouncement of approval at the latest ill-advised purchase of shizzle by one of our own.
 
Unpleasantness (the) – The demise of MGRover in 2005.
 
Vauxhall – The UK arm of GM’s global car manufacturing business. Possibly the most divisive word you can type into this forum, as if you do this someone will soon be along to tell you “ALL VXLs ARE SHIT M8!â€Â
 
WIN – An indeterminate quality, but the source of much awe in Autoshite circles. The easiest way to summarise is to say that a Daewoo Leganza has significantly more WIN than a brand new Golf.
 
WINNAR –mobile – A chariot of champions, such as a Talbot Tagora.
 
Yankee Allegro – AMC Pacer.
 
 
 
 

As the originator of this thread, I can’t help but think it’s degenerated into a catalogue of eBay listings terminology. 
 
Oh well ....

When the Maestro was delayed yet again in 1981, BL ended up with a crate of voice synthesiser microchips lying around. These had been bought in advance of Maestro production as the same chip was used in the BBC Micro computer; BL feared that if that became a sales success they would struggle to source the chips required for top of the range Maestros.
 
The Allegro was still in production at this point, so a plan was hatched to launch a special edition Allegro Micro, using the chips and their speech capability, and using the owl logo that the BBC were using to promote the Micro as the logo for this special edition. The interior plastics of the car were to be in the same off-white plastic as the Micro computer, with black instrument surrounds and a smattering of red buttons - to ape the colour scheme of the computer. Owners were also to be given a money-off voucher to buy a discounted BBC micro with, and an owners manual was also to be supplied on a data cassette that could be viewed via a BBC Micro. 

The voice chip was to have the dulcit tones of Ian McNaught-Davis, who at the time was presenting The Computer Programme, where the BBC Micro was being promoted.
 
External paint colours would have been limited to off-white, black or red, and a choice of one of the other colours as a contrasting front grille. 
 
The BBC refused to license the owl logo and name though, so this idea was only ever realised in three prototypes (all were four door versions - though two door and estate versions would have been available had this edition reached production). The bugs in the Maestro’s speech chip were worked out in these cars, which were used by lower management as pool cars/test hacks, and their use led to additional features like seatbelt warnings being tried and tested by the time of the Maestro’s eventual launch.

When the Maestro was delayed yet again in 1981, BL ended up with a crate of voice synthesiser microchips lying around. These had been bought in advance of Maestro production as the same chip was used in the BBC Micro computer; BL feared that if that became a sales success they would struggle to source the chips required for top of the range Maestros.
 
The Allegro was still in production at this point, so a plan was hatched to launch a special edition Allegro Micro, using the chips and their speech capability, and using the owl logo that the BBC were using to promote the Micro as the logo for this special edition. The interior plastics of the car were to be in the same off-white plastic as the Micro computer, with black instrument surrounds and a smattering of red buttons - to ape the colour scheme of the computer. Owners were also to be given a money-off voucher to buy a discounted BBC micro with, and an owners manual was also to be supplied on a data cassette that could be viewed via a BBC Micro. 

The voice chip was to have the dulcit tones of Ian McNaught-Davis, who at the time was presenting The Computer Programme, where the BBC Micro was being promoted.
 
External paint colours would have been limited to off-white, black or red, and a choice of one of the other colours as a contrasting front grille. 
 
The BBC refused to license the owl logo and name though, so this idea was only ever realised in three prototypes (all were four door versions - though two door and estate versions would have been available had this edition reached production). The bugs in the Maestro’s speech chip were worked out in these cars, which were used by lower management as pool cars/test hacks, and their use led to additional features like seatbelt warnings being tried and tested by the time of the Maestro’s eventual launch.

When the Maestro was delayed yet again in 1981, BL ended up with a crate of voice synthesiser microchips lying around. These had been bought in advance of Maestro production as the same chip was used in the BBC Micro computer; BL feared that if that became a sales success they would struggle to source the chips required for top of the range Maestros.
 
The Allegro was still in production at this point, so a plan was hatched to launch a special edition Allegro Micro, using the chips and their speech capability, and using the owl logo that the BBC were using to promote the Micro as the logo for this special edition. The interior plastics of the car were to be in the same off-white plastic as the Micro computer, with black instrument surrounds and a smattering of red buttons - to ape the colour scheme of the computer. Owners were also to be given a money-off voucher to buy a discounted BBC micro with, and an owners manual was also to be supplied on a data cassette that could be viewed via a BBC Micro. 

The voice chip was to have the dulcit tones of Ian McNaught-Davis, who at the time was presenting The Computer Programme, where the BBC Micro was being promoted.
 
External paint colours would have been limited to off-white, black or red, and a choice of one of the other colours as a contrasting front grille. 
 
The BBC refused to license the owl logo and name though, so this idea was only ever realised in three prototypes (all were four door versions - though two door and estate versions would have been available had this edition reached production). The bugs in the Maestro’s speech chip were worked out in these cars, which were used by lower management as pool cars/test hacks, and their use led to additional features like seatbelt warnings being tried and tested by the time of the Maestro’s eventual launch.

The model sat in the Marina is Ayshea Brough, is it not? 
 
She appeared in Gerry Anderson’s series UFO (in fact it’s her arse that is pervily lingered on in the title sequence as she walks away from camera, down a corridor of SHADO’s base). 
 
This just further backs up the Gerry Anderson/Marina/Ital connection. 
 
Rumour also has it that the self-driving colour-changing car in Terrahawks, known as Hudson, was originally to have been an Austin Montego. The car was set to be launched around the same time as the series was due to go on air in the UK, and a cross-promotion deal to include the Montego in the show was being worked out with Gerry Anderson’s co-producer Christopher Burr.  Gerry was so incensed with Austin-Rover/BL’s antics in the past though that he tore up the agreement, and so Hudson became a Rolls-Royce.

Given the recent slew of retro styled EVs announced recently, such as the new Renault 5, Tesla has decided to get in on the game.
They’ve acquired the rights to the styling of the Horsey Horseless and an electric version is due for release sometime in 2024, based on the chassis of their Model X.
The top of the range Pegasus edition is to have the rear gullwing doors of the Model X repurposed to resemble actual wings.

Given the recent slew of retro styled EVs announced recently, such as the new Renault 5, Tesla has decided to get in on the game.
They’ve acquired the rights to the styling of the Horsey Horseless and an electric version is due for release sometime in 2024, based on the chassis of their Model X.
The top of the range Pegasus edition is to have the rear gullwing doors of the Model X repurposed to resemble actual wings.

Given the recent slew of retro styled EVs announced recently, such as the new Renault 5, Tesla has decided to get in on the game.
They’ve acquired the rights to the styling of the Horsey Horseless and an electric version is due for release sometime in 2024, based on the chassis of their Model X.
The top of the range Pegasus edition is to have the rear gullwing doors of the Model X repurposed to resemble actual wings.

Given the recent slew of retro styled EVs announced recently, such as the new Renault 5, Tesla has decided to get in on the game.
They’ve acquired the rights to the styling of the Horsey Horseless and an electric version is due for release sometime in 2024, based on the chassis of their Model X.
The top of the range Pegasus edition is to have the rear gullwing doors of the Model X repurposed to resemble actual wings.

Given the recent slew of retro styled EVs announced recently, such as the new Renault 5, Tesla has decided to get in on the game.
They’ve acquired the rights to the styling of the Horsey Horseless and an electric version is due for release sometime in 2024, based on the chassis of their Model X.
The top of the range Pegasus edition is to have the rear gullwing doors of the Model X repurposed to resemble actual wings.

I was going to go with "stolen section of Armco"

Run out models, often loaded with kit, sometimes seem to have some desirability  - Cortina Crusaders being the example that springs to mind. 

Run out models, often loaded with kit, sometimes seem to have some desirability  - Cortina Crusaders being the example that springs to mind. 

As the originator of this thread, I can’t help but think it’s degenerated into a catalogue of eBay listings terminology. 
 
Oh well ....

This. Marina Coupe shell, Ital front, Turbo’d A-plus. The perfect ingredients for the ultimate driving machine.
 
Actually, mild piss-taking aside, would that be such a bad car? Priced at the same level as, say, a 1.6 Capri, and with a bit of fettling to the suspension to make it vaguely sporty in feel, and it could have been the early ‘80s equivalent of a Rover Tomcat. All the ingredients were there, save for the suspension development (which could have been applied to the main Ital range anyway), so would it have been worth a roll of the dice for BL? It would have been no more outdated than a Capri really, and they sold healthily enough in the UK around that time. Stick a few trinkets like red seatbelts, alloys, and a decent stereo on it, and it wouldn’t have been entirely unappealing.
 

Nicely done, but you forgot to add the bit about it being launched as a FWD model, then converted to RWD for no apparent reason a few years later. 

This. Marina Coupe shell, Ital front, Turbo’d A-plus. The perfect ingredients for the ultimate driving machine.
 
Actually, mild piss-taking aside, would that be such a bad car? Priced at the same level as, say, a 1.6 Capri, and with a bit of fettling to the suspension to make it vaguely sporty in feel, and it could have been the early ‘80s equivalent of a Rover Tomcat. All the ingredients were there, save for the suspension development (which could have been applied to the main Ital range anyway), so would it have been worth a roll of the dice for BL? It would have been no more outdated than a Capri really, and they sold healthily enough in the UK around that time. Stick a few trinkets like red seatbelts, alloys, and a decent stereo on it, and it wouldn’t have been entirely unappealing.