jakebullet

I'm away on holiday. My sister has had a visit from a local rigger boot wearing moron, do I want to sell his m9 my escort, as it's just rusting away and an eyesore. a ) It's a capri b ) No. c ) Definitely not to you so you can flip it on ebay.

Went in the hive of scum and villainy that is CEX in town. Shop droid says have you got ID as this is rated 18. Er, no, I'm 48! Fortunately my cex card had me down as being an old bastard.

Truly at a loss to work out what goes on in cunt next door's head. He's walking the dog, other hand has a half drunk bottle of cider in it, and he keeps shouting in his best Apu accent "My turban is dirty" for reasons unknown and laughing at his own wit*

Dirty protest for the win! The owner of the car that mysteriously* got sloppy dog shit on the windscreen has been observed collecting all the dog eggs deposited on the lane. He appears to be taking extra special care in clearing the bit where cunt next door parks, so perhaps thinks he's the protester. It would of course be awful* if he was to start doing things to cunt's truck in retaliation.

Carlos Fandango.

I'm at the mrs's for the weekend. But I can offer you cunt next door's reaction. As he's got about 20 dog eggs where he parks the truck he's hopefully thinking that's a good idea and going for a shovel. 20220826_173506.mp4

The dogs belonging to the arsehole who lets them out to shit everywhere dropped a huge sloppy pile behind my discovery. We're talking that much I could barely get it on the shovel. Why grin thread? Well as usual I returned to sender, but sloppy + full shovel = bad aim. I'm sure he'll get it off his windscreen quite easily anyway.

I don't think 2 hours a week when they're out is excessive. Don't have a long enough cable to bolt the compressor to their extension.

I was in my shed working on the lathe, when there's a sudden bang! followed by air blasting. Gosh*, wonder what that could be? Air line auto oiler had exploded. I think the oil reservoir plastic has gone brittle with age and decided to part company from the body rocket launch style. Glad I wasn't stood near it.

Cash register is possible to win. I'm on a comping group and 2 have managed to win it via the free entry route. Problem is it's across a huge number of radio stations, so your odds are tiny but worth a go for nowt.

I was listening to the radio earlier, and the cash register comp comes on. Basic premise being you spend £2 to enter, and someone gets a random call, tell them today's amount and you win. Presenter is giving them all this "how would it change your life?" nonsense and then says "I need today's amount in pounds and pence exactly". Woman says "33,333 pounds 33p". Which is wrong!, correct answer is £33,333. Unlucky chucky says presenter. I thought what a bitch, why did you say "and pence" when you know there's no pence involved? Felt like she was directing contestant to a losing answer. I feel slightly less of a cheeky twat now, as I enter every day but not by giving them £2. 16 free entries daily on the the website with the t&c page.

Interestingly* badly parked sport visiting cunt neighbours wasn't showing on askmid yesterday. Neither was Mrs. cunt's shaguar. Today both are insured. I get the feeling all these shit head builders* have an m9 in common who's sticking them all on a trader's policy. Which is a great scheme as they'll show as insured. Bit fucked if one of them ever gets a producer, or stacks it and the trade policy people investigate.

That's good to know. So in theory if he drives past a police car it will 'ping' and they may stop him? It's one thing having no MOT but I despise assholes who think insurance is optional, and drink drivers. You just know if he crashes he'll run if he can.

Older stuff really is so much easier to bodge. When I had my capri it coasted to halt near a handy layby, and I sussed the fuel pump relay was fucked by burning my hand on it. WCPGW by plugging in the heated window relay? Brum! Mind my modern* C1 has an odb bluetooth reader in the console & the app on my phone just in case a ctrl-alt-delete will get it going if it stops.

Came back from weekend at the Mrs's to thud thud thud music* coming from next door and this parked blocking the pavement. Oh joy they've got Mr. too important to walk round. For giggles ran it thru askmid, and surprise it isn't insured. Thought there's nowt to lose by trying cops live chat, and they thought he's a naughty boy and next car in the area will take a look. Let us know if it moves plz. Mr. pissed got in it and drove off, not 5 mins later got a cop ring up asking if it's still there. So close to a nobbling!

I went out for firewood and came back to dog eggs in my space and dogs roaming around. Twat further down back to his old tricks of walkies is open the door and kick the shit machines out. Shovelled it up and threw in his yard, and stuck a dog fouling report into the council, so that will be another one who hates me for his own behaviour.

Bin day today, hear the truck, go out to collect my bin and it's gone! There's a fucked looking one with no number left instead. Half an hour of searching and pretending to be Hercule Potroast before I remembered I've got the dashcam in the car turned on in parking mode. Drumroll.... my bin was stolen by cunt next door. Grabbed it back and may have moved theirs 200 yards down the street.

I can't find heinz tomato sauce in glass bottles anywhere. Have they killed it like they did with daddies? No way I'm buying that crap in plastic bottles. Anyone recommend an alternative?

I'm always interested when m11 pops up on the movement detected feed, he's a dodgy bastard and was a previous obsession for his habit of taking the dogs for a walk* by opening the door and letting them shit on everyone else's property. Got him nobbled by the council 5 times for dog shitting but he still does it.

He comes out of his yard, and walks up and down for 5 minutes checking nobody is watching him first.

This is one of cunt next doors bezzie m11's stealing a chunk of RSJ from cunt's shit pile. Good to have friends isn't it? N yeah, my number plate melted off in the heat and I've not fixed it yet.

Our area lost power yesterday morning, and as usual it's knocked out the virginmedia land line. It's not come back up, so contacted them, first appointment for fixing is Saturday. Engage the Ma having a total freak out and giving me 10 tons (metric) of shite. She's going to change to someone else. There is no one else.... land lines are deader than tank tops. How can she phone her bestie tonight? Use your mobile. You have 16 hours of calls left, and if you use that you can borrow my phone for unlimited calls. Not going to be able to go out on Saturday. Go out, I'll wait in for visit. Scream / shout / wishes she was dead. All my fault somehow.

FFS cunt next door problems again! To stop cunt climbing over the wall I did a trellis installation: Looks nice yes?, better than the plain wall. I'm looking out the window, and I can see a broom bending the trellis from the cunt side. So I went out for a word. Cunt doesn't like them, they look ugly from his side of the wall. I may have enjoy telling him they're on my side of the wall, and it's my wall not his anyway. He then threatens he's going to snap them off. I tell him to go ahead, I will sue him for damage. There's some bollocks about his mate built the wall, so he thinks he owns it?? So I grab my phone and start recording, and invite him to say what he likes about my new trellis. I then get random abuse about I haven't got a bird and do I fuck my mum, so I tell him he's a clueless cunt who need a shoeing. His stupid big gobbed bird comes out and starts screaming about she's phoning the police as I'm filming her naked children and I'm a disgusting pervert. Er, knock yourself out, unless your naked children are invisible they're not on my video. She then makes cunt go in the house while screaming threats at me. I guess it's only going to get more unpleasant from here on, so operation solicitor starts tomorrow. I'm downloading video files, as while the camera doesn't show him in his garden, there's no doubt audio of him saying he's going to damage the trellis.

Bumped into dickhead neighbour earlier. He says "Don't put notes in my gate", so I say "Don't climb over the wall and trample my garden". He then mumbles some bollocks about he was going to come round and knock. Yeah, so why didn't you? He just strolls off. Yeah, I know move house / kill him to death with an axe.

Maybe they did get copped* as noise suddenly stops. I can hear a voice saying "keep it down". Dickhead says "I live here". Then 2 mins later he's telling kids to go to bed. Of course if it was cops he'll know its me.