jakebullet

Not if you get your bezzie m8 to stick it on his trade policy. Works great until she stacks it, or it's routine stopped and they realise she's not the hairy arsed bloke who's insured it.

Cunts next door are attempting to piss off the maximum number of people possible with top quality* parking. After Mrs. Cunt got a nice visit from the 5-0 she stopped parking touching Hazel's car, which was a win for a while. However, this weekend Hazel has Mr. Cunt's pikey tipper touching her bumper, so she's less than happy. The £30,000 cat S disco 4 is now parked a bit further up, in such a position that the next 2 houses to Hazel struggle to get past the bastard to get off their drives. So that's 3 annoyed on the other side of the street. But wait, there's more! Pikey tipper is in the street because round the back there's pikey tipper #2 appeared. This is a kicked to fuck example that is SORN, no insurance, and crucially is parked badly so it's going to block access for 7 more houses to get out. Mrs. Cunt isn't capable of driving manual cars, so that's 7 who's going to find getting to work a soupcon difficult in the morning. Assuming he's not going to be driving that one around illegally of course. Yes, I know I'm just green with envy that I don't own 2 shit pikey tippers and a written off disco 4.

Fairly sure there was plenty of addiction but only at low stakes. They are just constantly trying to get money out of you every minute you're in there. £20 for books, then every second between pages it's put a quid in the slot for the table game. Plus RTP is 50% so you have no hope of getting lucky in the long term. The way out goes thru slot machines where they're shovelling £20 notes in the slot. I feel so happy that I've clawed back £3000 profit from mecca by abusing their offers online. They really are the evil empire.

I've seen the ugly side of gambling today. It's mecca fucking bingo. Take this email for free bingo, drink, and burger for you and a friend worth £50. It could be good for a giggle on a boring Sunday afternoon? WRONG. It's just depressing. The grannies desperately donking their pension away. The queue for the bar where everyone asks for a 4 pint jug of carling and 1 glass, n they look at you like you have done a shit on the carpet when you ask for a cappuccino. Terrible songs* that have the music from popular songs but words extolling the virtues of bingo. Plus Mrs has broken a tooth n won nowt to pay for it.

Mrs's block of flats is turning into a crime zone. Attempted robbery today of the sainsburys van. Bit* extreme fighting with the driver for random bags of shopping.

Not exactly grin, more like fucking hell it wasn't me for a change. Getting in the c1 at Mrs's and the next car to me has peeps doing the looking glum thing. Has someone hit your car? Yes. Hang on, I'll have a look on the dashcam and see if it got anything. Turns out it's police interceptors tiem. A disco flies round the corner with cops behind it. 3 scallies jump out like the A team and disco sails on clonk into car parked after me. You would have thought cops would have contacted crashed into owner but they just recover the disco and bugger off. Looks like they got 1 out of 3 scallies.

Ha ha, I left out the other sister thing today as being too fantastical. She's started another miracle diet, I think it's one of those where you have like 800 calories a day in packet soup etc, and starve yourself thin. While giving them £70 a week for food* supplies. So it's day 3, are we by any chance going near Staniforths? Well no, wasn't planning on it. Why? Surprise, we are going there, her diet needs a fuck off cream cake. But it's ok, the diet is based on ketones as well as 800 calories, so cakes are in.

Ma keeps complaining the milk is going off cos shit milk from that shop. Hmm. One quick measure of the fridge temperature suggests it may* be related to fridge being set at 12 degrees. So I turned it up a bit. Next day she's chuntering about the carrots being cold so I may have gone a smidge too far. Bit hard to tell cos she's turned it back down. Now on day 3 of "this has been ruined because you've frozen it". Oh do fuck off mother dear. Put it all in the fucking bin, I'll take you to monkey spunks and you can restock the bastard with stuff thats guaranteed not to go off at 12 degrees. Bonus grump of idiot sister texts Ma, am I putting any bets on the grand national? Maybe I am, but not for her. Get her own account and place her own bets. Why am I being like that???? Well, could be something to do with if she wins she wants paying out and if she loses she accidentally forgets to pay for the stake.

Rev counter, down force generator, colour coded mirrors. You haz super high* spec one! Aircon?

Random email, Claim a £50 amazon voucher as thanks for completing our survey. Yeah, right. Going for the delete button, when I spot it says Dear real name. Hmmmm. Copied the claim code, went direct to amazon's real site and it works. Get in! Bit of working out who's survey it was, turned out to be mecca bingo

I'm not that bothered by the cunts now the aircon is gone. Just get her swearing at her kids drifting thru the wall. I've ordered myself an electric guitar and am on the lookout for a fuck off sized amp. As I have no musical talent whatsoever they're going to love to join me on my learning journey.

I'll pass on suggestions to Hazel. She's had a visit from Mr. cunt now, saying please park somewhere else. Mrs. cunt's car cost 30K, and Mrs. cunt must be able to see it at all times for insurance purposes. £30K for a cat S 2010 disco. Riiiiiiiight.

Hazel's daughter went to have a quiet* word with Mrs Cunt only to get a barrage of abuse, and to be told Cunt is phoning the police right now as daughter is trespassing on her property, and the police will also be arresting Hazel because she's illegally stopping cunt from parking where she wants to. Clearly cunt has been on the special drugs today. Vendetta is already in full swing, as cunt has previously asserted her rights* to the space. No doubt it's her placing bottles & nails under Hazel's car wheels. Hazel going to get a ring doorbell, though not sure if having evidence will actually help.

My delightful* neighbour Mrs. CUNT has been out screaming in the street at the old lady who lives opposite cunt. Cunt has decided the space in front of Hazel's house is her "reserved" space, for parking of her chav mobile only. She is extra special, and cannot possibly walk an extra 3 yards if she parks behind Hazel's car. Hazel is unsurprisingly upset at being called a fucking old twat, and being threatened with getting her fucking teeth kicked in if she parks there. Any top tips, other than a sponsored set fire to chavved up disco day?

Ma bursts into my shed while I'm drilling. Quick! Idiot Sister is on the phone. She's at KDA and wants to know what to buy to cut the cat stuff!!!!!! Er, what cat stuff? The stuff that came for the cat! You know in that black bag. Nope. Could you vague it up a bit for me? What's it made of? You know. Maybe metal, or plastic, or plastic metal. Maybe mesh. Angle grinder? Cuts* most things. No! Sensible! Well if it's wire maybe wire cutters? (5 minutes later) They don't have wire cutters !!!!!!!! Er, something else cutter-y? Think she went for secateurs in the end. Doesn't really matter when most of the tools sold there are sub blackspur quality. Forgot to mention sister actually did get a kitten from "ex film star cats". For legal reasons* they can't tell her the film, or show her what it's been trained to do. Unless eating and shitting are it's special talents. So not a scam, unless you consider selling random kittens at a markup because they're special* is a scam.

Maybe she has to kill? Why don't the cops wait outside her house for a dead easy you're nicked?

From the you never learn do you files: I am on holiday with the angriest girl ever*. Current anger: why don't any of these fucking pubs do Sunday dinner today? Dunno...... Previously the I need a wee game. Where she is mega desperate but all toilets in a 10 mile radius do not meet her exacting standards. I only need a "why arent you happy?" to win the day.

The Saudis are attempting a bit of sports washing by sticking on snooker in the hope of it being the 4th main event. Shame they couldn't force anyone to turn up to watch it. Qualifiers from Barnsley have more people in the crowd. Oh, also...... Did Jack take a bung to dress up? Was half expecting him to carry on film it up.

I went to the Leeds branch when it first opened, but not much in the way of pinball there Pinball machines are 80's fords now. I've got a doctor who that I paid £750 for, fully reconditioned from pinball heaven. I've also got attack from mars that was £1200 from the free ads. I need to go back on a Friday night for no ankle biters. Wanted to play gauntlet last time, but too many stupid children had pressed start, not understood it and fucked off. Too annoying trying to kill 4 players so I could have a go.

It's cat madness. Mrs. Announces she's getting a cat. From amazon. Eh? Box arrives, she now owns a robot cat for only £120. Your money sweetie. Ma then announces she's at pets at home with idiot as idiot is getting a cat to go with the dog. Yeah that will work well. But not just any cat. She's found this website where they sell cats that have been used in films. As there is a LAW that cats can only be in a film once. This sounds totally feasible. There's obviously a huge UK film industry so there will be 100s of surplus cats. It can't remotely be a scam at all.

Mum doesn't want trouble*, which leads to constant appeasement. Idiot sister constantly sends parcels here despite working from home, which is why we got a huge box containing flat pack table & chairs. Mum, tell her to stop sending parcels. No, she'll be angry, you could ask her. So I send a subtle text saying "Stop sending fucking huge heavy parcels here". Next thing I know I've got Mum blowing up how could I be so rude, and she can't believe I said that, and basically I'm in the wrong for days. Until I show her my phone. Idiot had been telling Mum I've been calling her a fucking cunt and I'm going to smash her face in if she sends any more parcels. On the bright side there hasn't been a single parcel since. Idiot wants to paint her shitbox horsebox, and is constantly harassing that she's been to the wholesale place, and they have cans of spray paint, get me to go look at them and tell her if she can use to paint shitbox. Fuck right off, they sell loads of different paint, haven't got a clue which you was looking at. N you're just setting up for me to paint it and/or to blame me when it looks like a dog's dick. Instead of telling her to read the can and make her own judgement, mum is constantly suggesting* I could just have a drive there and do what idiot wants. With a side order of "she's piggy in the middle" and suffering sister's abuse. No, you're not in the middle you're encouraging her behaviour. Tell her to contact me directly if she wants me to do things, and then you're not involved. Then I can tell her to fuck off.

I don't think there's anything they can do for her. She's been registered blind since 1991, but it feels now we're going towards nothing left. She has dry macular which in theory is 10 years on average to knacker you up, but I'm assuming that's 10 years starting from normal eyesight. I've been rereading letters from previous visits and the one from 2 years ago says 'normal & healthy', then they start saying a bit pale, so maybe 1.5 years down the slope already. She has a low vision converted phone & tablet and uses Alexa for a lot of things, Maybe I could smart home things a bit more to make things easier. Half the terror from my viewpoint is she's too independent. Takes herself for a walk to asda which is suicidal even when you can see. I dragged a 2 person lift box idiot sister sent here to the front of the house, and told her don't do anything while I get the disco round the front. Got there to find she'd dragged it out the gate, and wonders why her back's knackered. Idiot sister is the anti - help. She's busy* so mum is often walking idiot's dog / doing her washing / general slave duties, while at the same time Idiot is trying to upset her constantly. Yes, I keep telling mum to tell her to fuck right off, but it's not happening.

Top quality* shitpart too. Hate to guess how much genuine is.

Just got back from taking Ma to 6 monthly eye check at hospital. Man is now describing her as having advanced glaucoma, and says she has macular degeneration. (Didn't have last time). Sounds like fucking fucked, big time.