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Stage the second. But first, an interval.

Good morning people of the internet. I have killed all my cars so have had to buy a new one. It is 11.15am as I type this and I have done three poos and one small vomit as a result of a choking fit. Stage one was returning a 1.3 diesel Corsavan to my work, where today's caper starts.

Two of this week's high mileage heroes, Volvo B12Bs KEZ 9120/21 new to Ulsterbus in 2006.

Been away for a while again. Still driving buses, but also now done this... standby* for a manky old Plaxton Ford suitably branded for Beige Package Holidays, under the ARSE (Autoshite Recreation Services & Excursions) banner.

Abbey are literally five minutes from my house and I have never seen that ZX cutting about Paisley. Absolutely would but I'm potless and without space.

@LightBulbFun I robbed the plate off a rotten Volvo 760 (E33 XGD) which was purchased from the wife of the original owner in Kilmarnock not too long after the local offices closed - it was allocated E952 HFG, despite having never been anywhere near Brighton. My Transit was imported in 2004 and got L420 EAB which is also a re-registration series.

If only Bub was here... his car always filled up nicely 😂

I've got about a 30gal fresh water tank in the Volvo. Typically the fucking fresh water pump is haemorraging water...

No; currently in Bellingham, leaving here Friday morning.

I left home five days ago aiming to take home the @kirtonCup so if I've left owt behind I'm fucked 🤣

Count me in also if there be space.

I have not reached Tebay... this Volvo is slow

I am already on route.

I'm also up for transport shenanigans.

The best bus sized uggadugga gun I ever saw was a one inch petrol powered gun, used to remove the front tyres from the prototype Volvo Citybus we scrapped a few years ago. It was immense. And REALLY fucking loud.

Breakfast for me please, large helping @Sunny Jim! As an aside... are we off grid or is there EHU available? I daresay it's been mentioned but I can't remember.

Day out today on a "mystery tour" - basically a pissup for the old boys at one of the local bowling clubs. Largs, Balloch, Arrochar, Cairndow, Coylet & Dunoon, then back to Largs via the ferry to Gourock.

Ten years ago since Shitefest Tiddlywink, young Pasty Pockets!

Before I was a bus driver I did eight years airside at Glasgow as a load controller; our airside buses were a couple of DAFs (H104 VUB & R987 FNW) and four Dennis Lances (L21/3 AUS, M726 HHS, K740 YPJ), as was mentioned Edinburgh had some Pointer Darts - M882-4 XSC and N301 HSC from memory. "Proper" airside buses are generally built to a 3m width and are very difficult, if not impossible to road register as they don't really meet C&U regs. Generally speaking most of our airside kit was pretty done but a lot of it had been road registered in the past if it wasn't too specialised; it wasn't uncommon for rebodying to happen, where stuff like Air Start Units were mounted on multiple chassis as they tended to last pretty long and were expensive to replace. British Airways registered almost everything until well into the 1990s, ULD loaders, cargo kings, electric tugs, pushback tractors, the lot; I went to the chippy in a Douglas DC10H registered C608 XLF, before it was rapidly deregistered and replated as AV02 212 🤣 We tended to replace the road registrations with fleet number plates when vehicles went airside only, Servisair tended to remove every trace of ID and just number them - this was a requirement for Airside Operations for ID purposes; the same Volvo FL6.17 in three photos here, G635 VMM at Gatwick in Midland livery, then as AV01 635 with aviance, then 29-3744 with Servisair. @Urkoas an aside, no matter what chassis it actually was, any flatbed baggage lorry in our place - Transits, LDVs, EuroCargos, Ford Cargos, DAF 45s, anything at all - was always referred to as a bantam. It was the end of 2010 when I left...

Not me Mike, Friday was a relatively local day for me for me; with the exception of a trip over the bridge to World of Golf I spent the day bouncing round schools in Erskine itself. We've 9 buses on Dumbarton schools and about fifteen movements a day in and out of the Naval Bases so likely one of those.

I will if you do.

I think we may need extra sosig due to the bumper turnout @davidfowler2000 but as I'm taking a week to get to Shitefest it does complicate matters somewhat. I'll eat wherever there is food going, occasionally more than once. I also aim to take the Creative Swearing trophy home again this year @MattJY but I can tone it down a bit if she prefers such things. Also I'm not a drinker and I've been on more field trips this year alone than @brownnovahas in his entire teaching career 🤣

We've two for sale... P118 XCN and P865 GND... Voith 3 speeders, but XCN does well over 60.

Also, are you ever really a bus driver with kids if you don't force them to pretend they're driving for photos?