Baz

....Specifically the Touring, with the 2-litre diesel....Are they any good?

I've tried hard to like the Citroen, but the truth is I don't....Think it'll soon have to go, in favour of something (Still with dog space, and diesel economy) a bit better to drive, before the tedium of it all gets to me, and I like the look of these.

What's all this about "Swirl Flaps"?

Happy Christmas to all those who have ordered a calendar. The rest of you can fuck off

^^

Seasonal Felicitations to all of you, my Shitey chums!

The GS Estate looks very nice....I don't really know if it's WORTH the asking price, but I'd probably pay it if I could afford it....I'm sure there are loads of muppets like me about, including someone who'd pay four grand for a Maestro van!

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/ ... ?logcode=p

....Can just imagine it, lowered a little, and on something like Rota RBs....I'm seriously tempted, if only I could think of somewhere to put it!

Kinda Jealous....Why should stuff like this seem so desirable?

There really is something wrong with all of us!

Classic = -1989

Really?

Look up the definition of "Classic" in the dictionary....Are you saying that every pre-1989 is a classic? Guess when it comes to "Classic Cars" it's very much down to the individual, but I certainly disagree here!

Back to the Honda though....Anything from Japan, with flip-lights, is just fine by me....Very nice.

Here's my much-loved example:

Sold for £1295 a year or so ago, due to lack of garage....I'm not bothered by "image" personally - If anyone wants to come over and call the sixteen and a half stone, bearded, shaven-headed oaf behind the wheel a poof, let them give it a crack....I'm a sucker for a proper open-topped sports car, and that the MX-5 is such a hoot to drive quickly whilst asking nothing of it's owner in return, makes it the default choice....Unless you can stretch to an S2000 of course!

Heh....Just came across this:

....Aforementioned BX, post accident!

I was having similar thoughts myself....I definitely would!

The Alfa is a Series 3 Spider....Gorgeous.

And the Spitfire looks like a GT6 to me.

It had me tearing my hair out too, until I found the answer on another forum.

 

When you have to change a headlamp bulb, and C5s eat them so it won't be long, my advice is not to even try and do them in situ (although the passenger side isn't too bad if you remove the battery). It's not that hard to release one side of the bumper and undo the three bolts that hold the headlamp unit in.

Ahh....Something else to look forward to then!

Thanks for the advice!

C5 wiper blades are easy when you know how. Switch ignition off, switch wipers on and they park in the service position.

Ref c5 wiper blades. With key in ignition mode, flick the wiper stalk. The wipers should stop at the "service position" allowing change of blades.

That's why I love this forum/forums in general....Always someone with the answer!

Thanks chaps!

I think I've gone off the idea of these already....I don't think I'm really a Saab man!

It's four days since my Mazda went, and already I've got a hankering for something else Japanese....Maybe something Celica or Prelude shaped, with a manual gearbox, for a little trackday fun?

Cars

Yeah....How come simple jobs on cars are no longer simple?

Two examples in the past week:

A headlamp bulb on the Getz....You need either tiny girl hands, or six inch long fingers to get in there and unclip the bloody thing....Clipping the new one back in took about ten minutes, and involved the use of many, many swearwords....Some of which I think I made up!

Wiperblades on the C5....You can't lift the arm far enough away from the screen to remove the blade with the bonnet open OR closed....The only thing I can think of to do, is undo the arms, and either move them round on the spindles a bit, or remove them altogether, but they seem to be seized on.....GRRRRR!!!! As it is, I'm not really happy with the quality of the Ebay special blades that I have, so I've applied liberal quantities of WD40 in the hope that they free up for when I get some decent blades to go on there!

It was the same with my '55 plate Megane....Headlamp bulb replacement was REALLY fiddly....And this is for someone who used to work on cars for a living....What the hell is going on?

Weird..but I never knew these even had a split tailgate thing anyway!

It's a bit pointless really, isn't it? Most of them don't work (Including mine), apparently due to faulty actuators.

I know that most of us have owned many cars during the course of our "driving career"....My car-buying activities have been somewhat curtailed in recent years due to lack of funds, but nevertheless, my tally is approaching three figures (Which I know, is nothing compared with some of you)....Was thinking yesterday: Which of my cars do I remember most fondly, and most wish I hadn't sold, and which was the big disappointment, that I was glad to be rid of?

These are mine....Would be interested to hear everyone else's....

BEST: Without a doubt, my 1990 Alfa Romeo 2000 Spider Veloce Series 3....I wanted a departure from the traditional red, so I found a beautiful, utterly immaculate white example, with an interesting history (Was sold to the original owner in Honolulu, Hawaii....He then moved to Milwaukee, Wisconsin with it, before bringing it to the U.K. with him when he moved to Sussex....He then sold it to me!)....It wasn't the BEST car I've ever had, but it was utterly beautiful and charming....Made me feel a million dollars every time I was behind the wheel! Sold it when I got married, to finance the honeymoon....Twat....Was bought by a well-to-do chap who wanted to take it to Spain, so I like to think it remains as beautiful today! Honourable mention to my 1991 Mazda MX-5 1600 and my 1999 Alfa Romeo 156 2.0 Twin-Spark Lusso....Both truly excellent cars too!

WORST: Definitely my 1987 Fiat Panda 750L....Also White....Was expecting a modern take on the Citroen 2CV, but what it actually was, was a tedious little car with all of the 2CV's disadvantages, but absolutely NONE of it's charm....I think it was made worse by the fact that I traded my VERY charming 1959 Simca Aronde to buy it....The only silver lining I suppose, was that it was followed by a Citroen CX! (Dis)Honourable mentions here go to my 1983 Opel Senator 3.0 Manual (Okay car, but terribly unreliable) and 1988 Dacia Duster GLX Estate (Need I say more?).

Tell us your stories!

I think that the term "Shite" is much like "Classic" in that it's meaning is very much open to the indiviual's interpretation....I'm just a life-long enthusiast of cars/motorcycles (My 90yo Grandma's favourite story about me is my ability to name any car, pretty much as soon as I could speak)....I don't really care what it is, I love to look at/drive/ride it! I get it from my Dad, and my Uncles on both sides....My Mum's brother was a Motoring Journalist/Car Tester for Which? all through my childhood, I loved that he got a new car EVERY WEEK, and was as excited by the latest FSO Polonez or Chrysler Avenger as I was by the Jaguars and Mercedes-Benz....It's just in my blood I guess!

Yeah, if I won the lottery today, I'd very soon have a barn full of "Shite", but I wouldn't be able to resist buying a Jaguar XF Sportbrake as my daily, and the Noble M600 to me, is a truly maginificent thing....I'd have to have one!

I was learning to drive in a field when I was 7,and I was doing ok until I went round a track,and missed the corner,smacking straight into a concrete post ! The car lived on as a field car for another year,but where I smacked it on the wing,turned the headlamp inwards and towards the ground !

....And the car was?

Mine was the same Impala Biege, 1984 Citroen BX16 RS that features in the "First car you had sex in" thread....Was on my way to collect my girlfriend (Same girl too!), it was getting dark, I considered lights to be necessary....I pulled out to pass a Vauxhall Cavalier that was parked on a blind bend, and met an un-lit Ford Capri coming the other way, resulting in a written-off Capri, and a BX with a severe hair-lip! Technically my fault, but I believe that if the muppet hadn't parked on the bend, or if the pikey in the Capri had thought to flick his lights on, things would have been different....If I could do it again, I'd hit the Cavalier!

Luckily, I was a trainee Panel Beater back then....My BX was quickly back on the road, better than ever!

I thought Ford had some legal rights to heated front screens?

 

Or is that a myth?

I must admit, I've heard that too....This being the case, I don't think they should be allowed to prevent the use of such an important safety feature by other manufacturers....

I won't scrape, since scraping ruined the windscreen of one of my Smarts....I find de-icer (Even if it DOES actually de-ice the screen....Which often it doesn't!) makes the inside of the glass mist up....I just start up, turn on my music, maybe check my texts/e-mails on my phone, and wait for the windows to clear before driving off....Wouldn't advise using hot/warm water, especially if any of the glass is damaged.

I've always been very surprised that heated screens haven't become universal....

I’d say £420 for the amount you had done by knowledgeable people sounds OK. I had to spend that on just an exhaust for the Camry estate this summer...

Well I'm very happy....The car feels great....CURRENTLY without faults!

Swmbo'd smax is registered to me, with insurance in my name using my largest ncb haul. There's a note on the schedule that says that she is the main user.

Be careful with that....Back when I was married, we had a "Swap around" with cars when my then step-daughter passed her test....It resulted in my wife giving her car to her daughter, and started using my (then) Rover 75, which was registered/insured by me, with maximum NCB, and I got a shiter (R11 pending delivery of the R20 that never arrived!) to use, and took out another policy on that from scratch.

Knowing what a bunch of conning bastards insurance companies are, I tried to do the right thing, and informed the insurers of the Rover that despite the car being registered to me, and insured by me, it was actually my wife who was the main user of the car....All okay so far!....Time progressed, the Rover was replaced by a Megane, and then we decided to end the marriage.

Upon contacting the insurer to have my wife removed from my policy, I was informed that, as the main driver on the insurance policy, the NCB was now my wife's....Even though I had been building up the bonus on my policies since before I even met her! I'm now rebuilding my NCB from scratch....Now up to three years....And all because insurance companies are twats!

Well....My C5 has returned from my favourite Citroen Specialist (P&S Hall in Stanton, Suffolk....Between Diss and Bury St.Edmunds) with a new secondhand tailgate glass fitted, a lovely quiet engine (The rattle was the alternator clutch/pulley, not the crank pulley bearing as originally suspected....Went for a new alternator), the oil leak fixed (A hydraulic pipe just needed tightening), and serviced ready for the winter....My bank account is £420 lighter, but I think that's pretty good, given the work they did, and the car feels/sounds SO much nicer than it did! Really do recommend Peter & Richard Hall to any Citroen owners in the Norfolk/Suffolk area

Now....Let's see how far we get before it goes wrong again....Bless!

I should now pose the question, what's the LAST car you've had sex in? Anyone brave enough to give an honest answer?

1992 Mazda 323f 1.6i GLX....Summer of 2009....An utterly beautiful girl called Suzie....Second helpings after having been on the beach at Winterton all night! We were both married, but sadly not to one another....My wife was somewhat miffed when she found out!

Water under the bridge....I'm now divorced....My ex-wife has kinda forgiven me, and is now "Married" to another female!

Once drove all the way from Sudbury, Suffolk, to Birmingham, in my 1959 Simca Aronde (Which wasn't really comfortable at anything above 55mph) to look at an Alfasud Sprint that had been described by a "Classic Car Specialist" as immaculate....Pulled up on his forecourt, and didn't even have to get out of the car to see that the Alfa was a pile of shit!

The chap had been expecting me, but I didn't even do him the courtesy of getting out and announcing my arrival, I just turned around, and headed home....I fear I may have chinned the bloke for assuming that I was an idiot, and lying to me! Thank god for the internet nowadays....If it looks crap in the pictures, it will DEFINITELY be crap in the metal!