CreepingJesus

I’d quite like everyone to buy/download Chocolate Salty Balls for xmas….
It ‘won’ 23 years ago

I used to work in a supermarket, and this was on the safety instructions on one of the trolleys we used to bring stock out on.
I spent the first five minutes of every shift finding this trolley. 
p

Not quite graffiti but it used to be common for the cabs of power station turbine hall cranes to be plastered with jazz mag pictures. As they were all switched to remote control they became a bit of a time capsule. A guy I worked with refused to ever do any work that involved going inside the cabins as he had heard rumours his mum had posed for pics when she was younger and he didn’t want to risk seeing far more of her than he ever wanted. 

It’s everywhere at my garage 
 

 

TVR were well known for this sort of thing-a big cock and balls drawn on the roof before the headlining was fitted and the like.

 

 
 
Apparently the boys building David Beckhams Cerbera left a few choice messages on the panels, hopefully he never had to lift the carpets on his to find a water leak...

Not really grafitti, but sort of...  In the early 2000's I worked in a High Street bank, I was involved in various schemes that caused trouble.  One particular jape got me into a LOT of trouble.  In our office, we had a photo board of the staff and management, just 3" x 2" headshots with our names underneath.  We had a manager who was a bit of a plum, a David Brent-a-like if you will. 
One evening, when I had the ground floor to myself, I borrowed this manager feller's picture and wrote 'Do ya think I'm sexy?' onto a sheet of A4, placed his photo above it and photocopied it about 20 times.  Once the printer had finished spewing these out.  I drew out all of the paper (probably about 500 sheets) from the feed tray and dispersed the 'rogue' sheets face down, in amongst the contents of  the tray, purely at random so no two photograph sheets were together.  I then left the scene.  Nothing happened for a day or so.  Then we started getting phonecalls from other branches that had received memos from our office (the bank were very slow to adopt email).  The sheets with David Brent-a-like were getting everywhere.  Eventually, some senior manager of a processing centre phoned up and complained that he'd had to stop his team working the previous night as there had 'been a data protection breach' or some other cobblers.  That's right 'Do ya think I'm sexy?' had turned up and been scanned as a customer's ID document, it was then very difficult to delete from their system or some such twaddle.
It got traced back to me somehow, probably because no-one else there had lack of sanity to do such a thing and I got a verbal warning. 
There is a postscript to this, a bloke who I worked with had applied for a job internally and must have photocopied his CV before sending it.  Some weeks later, he was called to interview and the recruiting manager had his CV on the desk in front of him.  At one stage the recruiting manager lifted the document up to bring it closer to him, and, you've guessed it, our man, was on the back!
The bloke didn't get the job, mainly because he started pissing himself with laughter in the interview...
 

I once had to take photos for a "how to" instruction manual for a contract at my old job,  a small gps unit that would often fail on the equipment we produced. It was a step by step guide that could be sent for people to use for assembling the replacement part on site. 
Expecting the person i knew who was writing the manual to pick up on them and have a chuckle i had taken the photos but in the background i had placed various items.  A handful of set Screws positoned so they spelt various words like "kill me/tits/cock/balls" on numerous photos, also a workmates bare bum cheeks perched upon the edge of the table just slightly out of focus.  A good 10 or so photos like this. 
He never clocked it, and thus a manual with a pair of arse cheeks and rude words was emailed to the customers. 
Ohh how he didnt laugh.

Oh, and a guy that seemed to constantly injure himself, like majorly, had a sort of crime scene outline of a dead body stuck on the floor outside his locker now and again in masking tape. 

This morning I seamlessly* covered the tiny hole in the bolster and also moved the steering wheel round a couple of notches.
The other day I got a Makita torx driver set as part of a Secret Santa. I put it to use removing the airbag so I could do this.
 
Since I got the car the wheel was always a tiny bit off-centre to the right when going straight ahead. It was in for the steering column recall on Thursday. While they have indeed replaced a significant portion of the steering column (basically the whole section visible in the engine bay), they left the wheel even further off-centre, and to the left!
It drives in a straight line perfectly fine though. I went in this morning to ask them about it and got the response that the tracking wasn't included in the recall and would be £120 + VAT, please.
That's Douglas Park BMW of Stirling, folks. Avoid them.
 
I sorted it myself just now by clocking it round a couple of notches.
 
 
 
I'll just say it again; DOUGLAS PARK BMW OF STIRLING ARE A BUNCH OF CUNTS.
Meanwhile when I lived in Aberdeen, John Clark BMW were always lovely when I went in for stupid wee bits for the 316. They even let me lounge around in their display model i8 and i3.

I had intended on lowering the bus anyway, didn't expect it to do it for me though.
 
The wife said something didn't sound right last time she drove it, I used it this morning and less than a mile down the road there were some really interesting grinding, banging, pinging noises.
What's that bouncing out of view in the rear view mirror? A piece of 20 year old Mercedes metal.
Then came a strong burning rubber smell, pulled over, waited for the smoke to clear and the front OS corner is an inch lower.

I do have these waiting to be fitted but didn't fancy tackling it just yet.

I think that makes the daily driver the only one of the fleet I can safely use at the mo.

Couple of local spots on the pub carpark at lunch time
Mismatched door and gaffer taped wing mirror

Furry dice

Hello Everyone! I like cars and have been talking shite for years so this seems like the ideal place for me. Auto-wise I have a Tesla which is the best thing since sliced bread and a 106 Rallye – which is sliced bread. I also have a load of other shite which will no doubt come out in the wash. The Wife has a 03 plate XC90 T6, a van, a Bedford TL horse box (weirdly she has no horses?) and a grey Ferguson Tractor. Our neighbours don’t talk to us.

Mmm just spoke to a collector who is selling his entire 400+ efe collection.
He's got 12 I want. 
Do I cancel the kids Christmas or go for it lol
Time for the credit card to get a bit melty

The postman arrived with a delivery.
I'm happy. This is one of the rare ones. Only one advertised for sale in donkeys years and I bagged it a couple of days ago.
Seller originally wanted 29.99 but offered it to me for 19.99. Nice. Because its worth what he originally wanted.
Code 3 model by LBRT for Warminster Vintage Bus Day. 100 made. Model number WR06B of a Bristol RELH DP. 


 

Back in 1989 when I was still a teenager, I started collecting EFE diecast models. 
For 7 yrs I bought every bus and coach they issued.
Then I got into a bit* of financial trouble, stopped collecting and eventually sold the collection to raise some funds, cause I was very very brassic.
I miss my collection, but have been resisting starting again for years, because I like to have complete sets (bit OCD and like lists). Buying every bus and coach they have ever issued would be very expensive and not appreciated by domestic management.
But a couple of weeks ago, I found myself in a model shop in Hexham (visiting MIL) and they had this for a fiver.

So I bought it
Then I bought this off ebay.

But it was not as described, with a knackered rear wheel

So that will be going in the bin and I will have to buy another.
To try and restrain myself a bit, I have decided to try and purchase every EFE model ever released in local liveries ONLY. In 12 months.
Bristol Tramways, Bristol Omnibus, Bristol Greyhound, Bath Services, Citylink, Badgerline, First Group.
My research (if correct), gives
39 EFE code 1 models
2 EFE code 2 models (for London Transport Museum).
2 EFE code 3 models ( LBRT models for Warminster Bus Annual Running Day).
43 total. Full list tomorrow, cause I'm knackered and typing them all out will take bloody ages.
I know that I kept maybe 2 or 3 when I sold my collection, because I couldn't part with them, which gives me a start. Will check the parents loft at weekend, when I visit.
Research also indicates that some of the models are rare as unicorn jizz, so 12 months sounds a long time, but it should be a reasonably stiff challenge.
Bonus is that it will also stop me buying too much chod in 2022, that will make domestic management happy. Till she finds out how much I've spent on model buses lol
 

Here’s mine:
 

just remember 150% of all mexicos made are still in existence

This is an extremely slow resto thats going on in my village...local stalker...former rally mechanic for Peugeot.Its a really good solid shell.

South Africa is probably your best bet 
Some years back a mate & his wife went on a cruise that docked at Monaco just after the GP , as they left the ship they could see a crowd gathered round a car , couldn't see what it was for people , F1 car , Bugatti Zonda 
No it was an original Mk1 escort 1.1 that had probably been in the area for decades ,some old guy came out of a shop pushed his way through and drove it off.

If you really want something of that era consider a Viva or an Avenger, much much cheaper, but obviously not got the same following. 

This theft paranoia is the thing that really puts me off anything to come out of Dagenham. I am worried enough with an Audi 80 B2 Sport and a Volvo 480ES, which are distinctive, and in one case quite desirable, but neither have that magnetism that fords seem to attract, and I know ownership just wouldn't be worth the worry for me. 
I forgot to add that in my scenario the car would be cavity waxed and protected, as while I like to preserve patina, preserving is the name of the game and I would definitely do that straight up. I wouldn't mind the cold as I have a rather odd view that "If people did this back in the day no problem, so will I, it isn't that hard"
 
I was born about 40 years too late wasn't I? While I haven't had it yet, I am waiting for one of my peers to one day ask where the bluetooth connection is in one of my various pieces of 20th century tat. That will be a day to remember...