cobblers

The seivel vans always came in bizarro lengths - all they need to do is add less sections in the middle so it's an easy way to add another model. Check thise mofo out:

Also mostly pointless, the length of those vans is totally not a problem - It's the width that makes them feel big on our roads. A LWB transporter or something would have more room inside and feel smaller to drive. I suppose there's the small chance that someone has a wide but short driveway.

If I call someone and they don't answer in ten seconds or so, I think "Oh, they aren't able to take the call, they are busy - I'll try again later" and I'll give it an hour or so before trying again. I do this because I'm not a total cunt! There's a special place in hell for people that just keep on ringing, and ringing and ringing forever. It makes me so bloody angry! I'll be on the phone and it's constantly beeping away at me, because there's another call coming in, I find it unbelievably distracting.

my new brakes turned up:

I'm very much thinking I need to rethink my life. Working 6/7 days a week to afford to live in the peak district. It's beautiful but it just gets so busy (because it's accessible) and house prices are stupid, because it's accessible. I'm autistic and being around people drains me so much. Most of my work is done by post. I should really split the business in half, get someone else to run the more industrial stuff then scale down and work out of a garage on my own in the middle of nowhere.

Where is this? I'll start loading the van!

You know the film "The quiet earth" where Bruno Lawrence wakes up and every other person on the planet has disappeared? they make it out to be post-apocalyptic in the film, he's dead sad driving around the place trying to find some other people etc (and he scuttles that pretty ginger lass eventually), but lately I'm quite frequently wishing that it'd happen to me. Mainly the people disappearing part, but I wouldn't say no to 1980s Alison Routledge.

Shit the bed which absolute baller owns that visa with what look like original serck plates on it? MAMMA MIA!!!!!!!!!

They won't come. We've had no license for about 12 years, gone through the whole letter chain half a dozen times and nobody has visited.

75% of the parcels we get sent to us via Evri end up with a "We weren't able to locate your address". One old boy does a bit of driving for them one or two days a week and he's great, but the rest of the time our route seems to get the worst of their "talent pool" It's a business premises, with a massive fucking great sign on the front of the building. About 15-25 other couriers and customers manage to find us every day. But these useless shower of bastards just don't even bother looking. The postcode is newish so you have to drive about 25 meters past where old maps say the turning is to get to us. I actively avoid buying anything from any company that specifies they use Evri, but I forgot about Autodoc.. Evri (or some agent of theirs) actually cold called us a few weeks ago to try and get our business, and the woman actually had a pretty good sense of humour when I said that what we want from a courier company is literally the exact opposite of what they are, and that I would rather boot the parcels around the carpark myself and then throw them over some random fence than pay them £4 a shot to do it for me.

I see it a lot on our local free-ads facebook group thing. 90% of it are people digging something fairly obscure out of the back of a cupboard and asking more or less what it costs new. "Small oil filled radiator, only used a handful of times £65" "Thule roof bar adapter set 848344 missing some of the bolts and rubber bits. Some surface rust, was £80 new would accept £75" "George at Asda size 18 sundress, worn twice only, cost £12. I'd take £10" "Selection of watering cans (all about 20 years old and falling apart) £15 each"

This reminds me of something my mum did when I was about 19. We'd just got a pressure washer, and I came back from a week at uni to find her jet washing the drive. It was tarmacked and a bit tired, but presentable enough. She'd jetted at a hole and lifted a big lump of tarmac off and found there was "block paving" underneath. So then she spent all afternoon jet washing lumps of tarmac off the drive, expecting to find a pristine driveway underneath 🙄. By the time I got there she'd just ripped massive patches of tarmac off it, exposing what was clearly just a load of old bricks dumped on the ground as a base for the tarmac. The she "had to go out" and left me to try and deal with the massive pile of tarmac and shit she'd swept onto the pavement, and fill all the holes in with cold lay so that my car would actually get back on the drive!

We need to drive to work but they've dug the road up and blocked us in with no notice ffs

A Hilux being driven irresponsibly then making off from an accident doesn't conjure up images of someone with a history of paying any council tax. The fact that a load more blokes turned up all of a sudden again isn't surprising. Sorry to hear she's had to go through this.

I still waste £20/30 on these competitions every month, but I only enter for something that I would buy with my own money anyway and would actually keep if I won it. 106 Rallye, Defender, fast Audis etc. If there's a cash alternative I always steer clear too, feels a bit to much just like going down the bookies.

I won a 350bhp Skoda Citigo for a £10 ticket that I forgot I'd even bought in the first place! My cousins pal won a Ferrari a couple of years ago. He's a lardy arsed truck mechanic so when reality kicked in, he soon realised he had absolutely fuck all use for a Ferrari. Instead of just taking the cash alternative he rang round a few dealers to see what they'd offer and ended up with about 25% more than the cash alternative from the dealer that the competition company had actually sourced it from a few weeks prior. He picked it up on a Monday morning, had booked the week off work and was going to have a few days out in it before dropping it off at the dealers. He said within about 30 seconds of getting behind the wheel it turned from "wow I'm driving my own Ferrari" to "Shit, even a kerbed wheel will end up costing me ten grand" and he bottled it - just drove straight to the dealers as carefully as possible and chucked the keys at them.

Tell me you've made a huge mistake in buying a 35 year old van, without telling me you've made a huge mistake in buying a 35 year old van

100% fuck crawling around on the hard ground. I have a padded rubber mat robbed out of the back of a VW t5 that I use. Makes life so much more pleasant

The working mens club certainly looks cosy and inviting: I'd love to know how a random cheap ornament from this place ended up being sold at a village fete in Edensor (mega posh, tiny little village next to chatsworth house in Derbyshire)

They had packed it all away last night when I went home from work. There were a good few pairs of big long skidmarks left on the road, so it wasn't just me being caught off guard. Most cars have ABS as well so who knows how many people got tangled up in that. Thought no more of it though, til this morning, they had laid it out again - just the same as before!

where did you get this video of my wife?

My wife turned up a few weeks ago from some random village fete thing with this for me: It's the cheapest plastic shite imaginable, and I love it

I know what you're saying, on unfamiliar roads I would like to think I always do drive like that. However when you know the road and drive it twice a day, and you know there's no junctions or any reason to expect someone to have come to a stop then I'm sure you'd agree that most people would push on a little faster. I was doing 45 ish and ordinarily I'd have been being pushed along by the HGVs that belt it round there. If I'd have belted into the back of the car in front it would have been my fault for going too fast.

Genuinely sorry to hear this, I hope things cheer up for you quickly.