Angrydicky

As the Volvo is broken, I had to take the family to the in-laws in the VW this year.  300+ mile round trip!
 
It was a bit snug, but I managed to cram Mrs_WoC, two kids, overnight bags and all the Christmas paraphernalia in. Just.
 
The car didn't miss a beat and it kept surprisingly warm considering the heating isn't connected up properly.  The lack of any real demisting arrangement was a bit annoying after the first couple of hours of wiping the condensation off the screen every few minutes.
 

Fucking Christmas. It happens Every. Sodding. Year. Usually about this time. So everything being shut down/seriously disrupted for at least two weeks, sometimes up to a month is really seriously fucking annoying. I have sold my house and have a buyer breathing down my neck. I have had an offer accepted on a repossession so the clock is ticking on getting exchanges. Both those things are good and I've been very fortunate.
 
I'm sure that everyone's total lack of surprise will be, well, unsurprising, when I say it's a wunch of bankers that are holding everything up.
 
I'm going to go and bash my head on the coffee table for half an hour or so, because it'll feel so good when I stop.
 
EDIT: Also, if ONE more person addresses me as 'Mrs' today (when the records they hold on me give my correct title - read your own bloody records - I'm not married) then I am going to stop managing to keep my temper. It's the 21st fucking century and women have been allowed and able to buy houses ALL BY THEMSELVES for a considerable number of years now.

I think the funniest thing will be if he forgets about it until a few days time when his phone beeps with an email titled "Trigger, Still looking for PENIS PUMP MANHOOD ENHANCER?" (hopefully while left unattended around colleagues)

My brother managed to guess my eBay log in and set me loads of watch lists inc butt plugs, gimp suits, cock pumps etc etc. Little shitbag

One I invented recently, when I was driving home from work on the A13:
 
Bavaritard -  the typical British buyer/owner/driver of a new or nearly BMW or Audi. A portmanteau of Bavaria and retard. Also applies to MINI buyers/owners/drivers by association.

My Volvo is decent in shit weather. Impervious to slush, floodwater, snow and high winds.
Ideal for driving across Scottish moors on Christmas day listening to Swedish music.

Its so annoying. theres loads of these out there that'l never see the road due to being so craply built by cretins years ago, painted with flipping road marking paint and god knows what else. But his has a factory paint job, tidy interior and is all up together, yet he decides to bust it up for bits cos he can't be arsed to finish it off or put another pinto back in it after his half-arsed plan gets too complicated. These people really should be banned from having nice cars.

I love most of the Carry On films and Hancock's Half Hour but Porridge was the only one that I never really liked. Open All Hours is great though! I'm really looking forward to the Christmas special tomorrow with David Jason returning as Granville. Hopefully it'll be decent, I read Jonny Vegas has a part in it so I hope he doesn't ruin it.

My parents are going to pay someone to drag the Maestro back from Kent to Essex so my dad can get it running and MoT'd. That's a pretty good present!

I saw an ad for some singles site - I think it was elite singles or something similar.
 
Cue posh tatty saying "as a lawyer, I have to be demanding-why should my love life be any different?"
 
I got the feeling that a bag of chips down Southend seafront might not work on her.....

You could phone Ron and ask, but I'm afraid I haven't got his number.

Well done indeed.  If you want to feel brave, ask her again in a week's time, perhaps just to go for a coffee or similar: she's had a week to realise that you're interested, so might just think again - she may herself be shy, but after getting over the surprise of being asked, quietly flattered that you're interested, and not so long a date as a full date.

That sounds like a pissed-up pratical joke gone wrong.  They've probabaly tried to move it down the street and collided with the focus, shat themselves and shot the crow leaving the golf where it ended up.

I'm not a Doctor Who fan at all but its on the telly and I can't be bothered turning it over.
 
Must be said that the girl who is the doctors sidekick is seriously hot. 

I love most of the Carry On films and Hancock's Half Hour but Porridge was the only one that I never really liked. Open All Hours is great though! I'm really looking forward to the Christmas special tomorrow with David Jason returning as Granville. Hopefully it'll be decent, I read Jonny Vegas has a part in it so I hope he doesn't ruin it.

If I were trying to persuade the Missis to partake in some Christmas bum love, is brandy butter the lubricant of choice?

I've seen JV's bit, he's quite restrained.

Can't beat a bit of Sid James.

My parents are going to pay someone to drag the Maestro back from Kent to Essex so my dad can get it running and MoT'd. That's a pretty good present!

This. Dugong, sounds like an ideal opportunity to buy a manky old Traction Avant and leave it there permanently.

My parents are going to pay someone to drag the Maestro back from Kent to Essex so my dad can get it running and MoT'd. That's a pretty good present!

My parents are going to pay someone to drag the Maestro back from Kent to Essex so my dad can get it running and MoT'd. That's a pretty good present!

Seriously, internet dating.
 
Specifically, plentyoffish. That's free, so you don't have to spend any cash AND you're more likely to find a stingy lass who appreciates old cars.
 
I only signed up to get a bit of nookie and send dirty pictures, but I ended up meeting someone who apparently only signed up for a bit of nookie and to send dirty pictures. We get married this year.

Can't say much about on line dating but in 1995, pissed off with being single and never meeting anyone who was not in a relationship or frightened me shitless I joined Dateline, back then the 'Dateline computer' (sharp intake of breath it was a COMPUTER and therefore infallible) matched you with compatible singles in your area, you were then posted by stamp and letter a list of names and addresses of suitable matches in your pre defined crumpet hunting/ available soul mate area.
Armed with a list of prospective lady friends off I popped to the local stationers, remember them? and purchased their very finest Basildon Bond writing paper with matching envelopes and set too finding 'The One'. unsurprisingly a few embarrassing moments and two unmitigated disasters followed and after about 6 months I began corresponding with a young lady who I really grew to like, we met up a few times, started going out in person instead of writing letters to each other and have been together ever since, got engaged in 1998, married in 2011 (Yes I know I know) never rush into anything me.
 Suppose what I'm trying to say is, I was very close to giving up hope of meeting anyone and it just happened, a little effort from me, lots from her and the rest as they say is history, should maybe point out that when we met she was bored shitless  by cars, especially old knackered ones but has now developed perhaps a passing interest  in old motors and last week proudly showed me a pic she had snapped on her Iphone of a pre war Austin parked outside Sainsburys,
 There must be hope for us all fella 

I met a lovely woman on plentyoffish who's understanding and easygoing, likes crap old cars, and got her bike, and most of her kitchen appliances at the dump, yet doesn't look like Mrs. Twitt.
She's in the boot of the Volvo now.