Pete-M

I'm running a 2003 Focus ST170 at the moment. According to Internet Folklore they're massively shit on fuel, every buyers guide and thread about the things says how awful they are on fuel. In reality it's not that different on fuel from the 2.0 Ghia Estate I was running recently. The estate would do 24-27 around town, the ST does 23-27 on the same runs. The estate would do 43 mpg on a long motorway cruise, the ST does 45ish. They're both geared around the same in their respective top gears, but the ST needs less loud pedal to keep the momentum. ST has averaged exactly 30 mpg over the last tank. Which I'm perfectly happy with.
 
Mate of mine has a 2004 Focus 1.6 Zetec, around town I get the same MPG as he does. £10 is basically 40 miles of city driving in either of them. a 1.8 Zetec would quite probably manage 45 miles / £10 and be more fun than the 1.6. 
 
Way I see it is if a car can make you smile when you get heavy with the loud pedal it's worth a few quid more a week than some miserable econobox. I really don't see "I get 48.4 mpg from my Spagthorpe DrizzleMaster even around town" as anything other than a declaration of exactly how tight someone can be. You know they're not gonna order Naan bread with a curry or extra toppings on a pizza because their tightwad tendencies mean the idea of spending a quid on something that "only costs them pennies to make" is enough to make the miserable Scrooge-like sods moan about it non-stop for a month.

Nuts to that.

I'm running a 2003 Focus ST170 at the moment. According to Internet Folklore they're massively shit on fuel, every buyers guide and thread about the things says how awful they are on fuel. In reality it's not that different on fuel from the 2.0 Ghia Estate I was running recently. The estate would do 24-27 around town, the ST does 23-27 on the same runs. The estate would do 43 mpg on a long motorway cruise, the ST does 45ish. They're both geared around the same in their respective top gears, but the ST needs less loud pedal to keep the momentum. ST has averaged exactly 30 mpg over the last tank. Which I'm perfectly happy with.
 
Mate of mine has a 2004 Focus 1.6 Zetec, around town I get the same MPG as he does. £10 is basically 40 miles of city driving in either of them. a 1.8 Zetec would quite probably manage 45 miles / £10 and be more fun than the 1.6. 
 
Way I see it is if a car can make you smile when you get heavy with the loud pedal it's worth a few quid more a week than some miserable econobox. I really don't see "I get 48.4 mpg from my Spagthorpe DrizzleMaster even around town" as anything other than a declaration of exactly how tight someone can be. You know they're not gonna order Naan bread with a curry or extra toppings on a pizza because their tightwad tendencies mean the idea of spending a quid on something that "only costs them pennies to make" is enough to make the miserable Scrooge-like sods moan about it non-stop for a month.

Nuts to that.

Diesels stink and cause cancer.

If its very tidy anything up to £1k.
 
No point in complaining about "scene tax" if someone's willing to give you a decent lump of profit on it.
 
I'd only give £350ish for it though. Give it a full on valet and a Doctor style bollocks write up and shove it on car and classic or fleabay.
 
"This rare and exciting Volkswagen Polo 1.0 was purchased on 3rd March 1983 by Mrs Vera Frontbottom of Hawarden. To this day this car had never seen rain or experienced weather temperatures of below 25 degrees Celsius. Mrs Frontbottom kept this car in a hermetically sealed chamber for 20 years only covering 120000 miles in that time. The car is fitted with a full set of Sava tyres as fitted by her VW dealer in 1997. The original brake pads are still fitted as Mrs Frontbottom didn't like brakes.
 
Then take a pic of it in the snow.

If its very tidy anything up to £1k.
 
No point in complaining about "scene tax" if someone's willing to give you a decent lump of profit on it.
 
I'd only give £350ish for it though. Give it a full on valet and a Doctor style bollocks write up and shove it on car and classic or fleabay.
 
"This rare and exciting Volkswagen Polo 1.0 was purchased on 3rd March 1983 by Mrs Vera Frontbottom of Hawarden. To this day this car had never seen rain or experienced weather temperatures of below 25 degrees Celsius. Mrs Frontbottom kept this car in a hermetically sealed chamber for 20 years only covering 120000 miles in that time. The car is fitted with a full set of Sava tyres as fitted by her VW dealer in 1997. The original brake pads are still fitted as Mrs Frontbottom didn't like brakes.
 
Then take a pic of it in the snow.

If its very tidy anything up to £1k.
 
No point in complaining about "scene tax" if someone's willing to give you a decent lump of profit on it.
 
I'd only give £350ish for it though. Give it a full on valet and a Doctor style bollocks write up and shove it on car and classic or fleabay.
 
"This rare and exciting Volkswagen Polo 1.0 was purchased on 3rd March 1983 by Mrs Vera Frontbottom of Hawarden. To this day this car had never seen rain or experienced weather temperatures of below 25 degrees Celsius. Mrs Frontbottom kept this car in a hermetically sealed chamber for 20 years only covering 120000 miles in that time. The car is fitted with a full set of Sava tyres as fitted by her VW dealer in 1997. The original brake pads are still fitted as Mrs Frontbottom didn't like brakes.
 
Then take a pic of it in the snow.

How have I only just seen this thread?!
 
There should have been some sort of notification sent to all users of the internet.
 
SHITTING HELL THESE ARE ALL AWESOME

I need to get myself to the opticians, my eyes clearly have something wrong with them, because I've just seen something genuinely wonderful on the internet.

You have won at AutoShite on your first game.
 
Well Done.Have an internets on us.

Would a car with a starting handle work in the event of a nuclear war? In that event normal cars would be fooked because of the electro magnetic pulse wouldn't they? I suspect that there were a lot of cars made for people in the 80's that had this capability with the ongoing cold war. 
 
There probably still is. I wouldn't know about it though as I am wearing this tin foil hat.

IIRC, BBC Radio Two's Alex Lester owned one of those about ten years ago (until it got written off), which he referred to as the "Ford Mid-Life Crisis"

I think the only thing I've ever owned which had a starting handle was my Rover P4.

I'm intrigued as to how the starting handle would work on an Austin 1300. Do you have to take a wheel off to crank it or summat?

How did the starting handle work on the Austin 1100?!

Is there an aftermarket starting handle kit available for the Renault Laguna?

Bought myself a Focus ST170 last week. Love it to bits. Spent a few days fiddling with it to get everything spot on and it's damn nearly there. Great fun.

Also, saw this today and it made me think of you lot.
 

Edited for accuracy.

Bought myself a Focus ST170 last week. Love it to bits. Spent a few days fiddling with it to get everything spot on and it's damn nearly there. Great fun.

Also, saw this today and it made me think of you lot.
 

Edited for accuracy.

I would say don't expect ANY financial reward for owning a montego.

Bought myself a Focus ST170 last week. Love it to bits. Spent a few days fiddling with it to get everything spot on and it's damn nearly there. Great fun.

Also, saw this today and it made me think of you lot.
 

A 50p piece WILL actually balance on the inlet manifold of an idling Impreza WRX. I did it with mine. Very strange listening To the uneven burble when the engine is actually very smooth when it's running right.

185/70 was the factory size on a 3.0 Capri and I think the 2.0 Cortina.
 
175/70 was MK2 Escort in sporty flavour. Everything from the 1.3 Sport upward was on them.

Check the electric window switches! The front ones are a yearly service item.
 
Some Saab alarm systems are notoriously clingy. They can end up like a lonely puppy. Walk away for 20 minutes and the bugger will start screaming for you. By the time you get back it's shut up. You wait by the car. You can be there all night and it won't make a sound. Walk to the corner shop and it'll go off. Eventually you end up going out to the fucking car at 3 am and going for a 15 minute drive just so the alarm feels loved. Go home, park up and it'll be fine. Most of the time. Occasionally it'll chirp just as you brush your teeth. Just to let you know it's still there, like a cross between Glenn Close and Kato. If you drive anywhere in another car it'll go off after 25 minutes.. and it'll keep going off until you get home. Being a SAAB disassembling and then successfully reassembling without breaking bits of the inner wheel arch liner is something only someone with 20 years experience of IKEA furniture is capable. 

If they ever remake Christine, it'll be Warren T. Claim in a killer 9-5 Estate.

Oh, I paid £405 for an X plate 9-5 SE 2.3 Turbo Estate with 120k on, six months ago. Didn't like it. Was amusingly nippy when wound up a bit, didn't handle, the trim felt a bit flimsy and the window switch was broke. Despite repeated attempts to unbreak it. The fact there were a few switch surrounds in the glove box suggests this is an ongoing thing with that one at least. It'd had a new turbo and a huge amount spent on it but in truth it just wasn't for me. Last time I'd driven one before buying this one was when they were new. They weren't so bad new.

I reckon the reason weird and antisocial roll-neck architects went mad for Saabs may well have been the clingy alarm system. I've always thought of the owners* in the 80s that they were the kind of folk who'd buy Bang & Olufsen, Apple Macs, and who're now in their 60s and insist on showing people that they just about understand an iPhone now that they can speak to it. They liked their Saab because it was Swedish and really fast because it wheelspins just pulling out of junctions. They liked the safety angle, the running lights meant everyone knew they drove the Swedish car that wasn't boring and square. The kind of folk who bought the 99 Turbo just because it had Aztec alloys, headlight wipers and an orange interior, and a turbocharger you could really feel kick in. They've got a Jag XF now, but it's a diesel.

*Ok, I don't often stereotype folk. I'm sure lots of folk who bought new Saabs were perfectly normal.

Actually, on the over-run, engines these days cut the fuel entirely, so you may have used marginally more fuel by putting the clutch in. 

Check the electric window switches! The front ones are a yearly service item.
 
Some Saab alarm systems are notoriously clingy. They can end up like a lonely puppy. Walk away for 20 minutes and the bugger will start screaming for you. By the time you get back it's shut up. You wait by the car. You can be there all night and it won't make a sound. Walk to the corner shop and it'll go off. Eventually you end up going out to the fucking car at 3 am and going for a 15 minute drive just so the alarm feels loved. Go home, park up and it'll be fine. Most of the time. Occasionally it'll chirp just as you brush your teeth. Just to let you know it's still there, like a cross between Glenn Close and Kato. If you drive anywhere in another car it'll go off after 25 minutes.. and it'll keep going off until you get home. Being a SAAB disassembling and then successfully reassembling without breaking bits of the inner wheel arch liner is something only someone with 20 years experience of IKEA furniture is capable. 

If they ever remake Christine, it'll be Warren T. Claim in a killer 9-5 Estate.

Oh, I paid £405 for an X plate 9-5 SE 2.3 Turbo Estate with 120k on, six months ago. Didn't like it. Was amusingly nippy when wound up a bit, didn't handle, the trim felt a bit flimsy and the window switch was broke. Despite repeated attempts to unbreak it. The fact there were a few switch surrounds in the glove box suggests this is an ongoing thing with that one at least. It'd had a new turbo and a huge amount spent on it but in truth it just wasn't for me. Last time I'd driven one before buying this one was when they were new. They weren't so bad new.

I reckon the reason weird and antisocial roll-neck architects went mad for Saabs may well have been the clingy alarm system. I've always thought of the owners* in the 80s that they were the kind of folk who'd buy Bang & Olufsen, Apple Macs, and who're now in their 60s and insist on showing people that they just about understand an iPhone now that they can speak to it. They liked their Saab because it was Swedish and really fast because it wheelspins just pulling out of junctions. They liked the safety angle, the running lights meant everyone knew they drove the Swedish car that wasn't boring and square. The kind of folk who bought the 99 Turbo just because it had Aztec alloys, headlight wipers and an orange interior, and a turbocharger you could really feel kick in. They've got a Jag XF now, but it's a diesel.

*Ok, I don't often stereotype folk. I'm sure lots of folk who bought new Saabs were perfectly normal.