Jump to content

HillmanImp

Full Members
  • Content Count

    8,121
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    8

HillmanImp last won the day on December 1 2019

HillmanImp had the most liked content!

1 Follower

About HillmanImp

  • Rank
    Rank: Isuzu Florian

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Not Telling
  • Location
    Bratfurd innit

Country

  • Country
    Scotland

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. "Hi, is that Claim 3000, the Personal Injury Specialists? I bought a fucked Mini for my wife and she kicked me in the balls so hard they exploded. Do I have a claim?" "Sounds like a guaranteed payout sir" https://m.facebook.com/groups/507058562734771?view=permalink&id=2678482262259046
  2. I think this guy will be waiting a long time for a swap. https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/613927729150931/ Fuck me, that is probably one of the single biggest pieces of shit I have ever laid my eyes on.
  3. https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/2722334314526722/ I remember years ago in my Imp I'd left a can of coke in the passenger footwell. It was rolling around for ages forgotten about it, until I tried pressing the brake to find the can of pop wedged underneath it. A few squeaky moments later I managed to dislodge it and stop without hitting anything.
  4. https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/617884295623372/ Tasteful.
  5. https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/1822199331248854/ "Back needs finishing"
  6. https://m.facebook.com/groups/507058562734771?view=permalink&id=2678482262259046
  7. https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/556112971803842/ Oh..... Fuck knows mate. Are you selling the car or what?
  8. https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/999779230422580/ I have 2 wands, can I have 2 parts.
  9. Lada Riva https://m.facebook.com/groups/507058562734771?view=permalink&id=2678482262259046
  10. Talking of garden ornaments. https://m.facebook.com/groups/507058562734771?view=permalink&id=2678482262259046
  11. Check this heap of shit out. https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/478484492856408/ Lets look at the details: Possibly, nobody can be sure. Even if I don't buy the van i might see if they can do some landscape gardening for me.
  12. "The car I'm selling is like the one in a TV programme most people probably haven't heard of. Its not the same car mind you, just the same colour. So I'm going to use a screenshot of the car I'm not selling, in the childrens tv show nobody's watched, for the advert photo." Someone's come to the rescue. Well done mark, you've handled that much better than I would've done. I'd have been posting pictures of Tardis's and USS Enterprises I was trying to sell identical to the ones in the photo. https://m.facebook.com/groups/507058562734771?view=permalink&id=2678482262259046
  13. Yeah but I'm still in a bit of shock about the time my cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control. So he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, the hydraulics kick back in, and the plane rights itself. It lands safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever you know, away and deboard. Nobody mentions the phenomenon to anyone else. Another time Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all. But the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So I run into him a week later at the mall and he was buying another cat! And I said to him, "Jesus, Walt, what are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck in your ass, too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "HillmanImp, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.
×
×
  • Create New...