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Everything posted by Wibble
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Sorry , my heads a mess at the moment, I’m sorry you lost your Dad like that but glad you enjoyed that film together and that you didn’t see him afterwards. When my Dad died last year, I had no intention of seeing him but Mum wanted to and we went and my sisters couldn’t manage the wheelchair for mum, so I had to. Brother didn’t, neither did one sister. He was still warm. He didn’t want me to see him, worried it would be my lasting memory of him. Of course it isn’t but it’s an image that comes back to haunt me now regularly and really wished I hadn’t. Just had news from sister number 1, bed being delivered tomorrow, Mum will be brought home Thursday, carers going in 4 times a day. Then we wait I guess.
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Wow. Heartfelt thanks @Floatylight, @Saabnut and @AnnoyingPentium and everyone else for their support. I may well take one of you up in your amazing offers. The waves of anxiety are the hardest part to deal with at the moment and feeling sick. I’m waiting a call from my sister with developments of today. It’s often said, but this place is truly amazing.
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Thank you, it really is. My youngest sister expects me to be there but I just don’t have it in me to do that drive again at the moment. I’ve done it twice in a little over two weeks, which is over 2 thousand miles and I now wish I hadn't sold mum’s car, at least I could fly then and still be mobile whilst I’m there. Fucks sake, don’t know what to do but I know I can’t safely do that drive again at the moment. I’m too knackered and Mrs W has HR call from work tomorrow, which I need to be there for and hospital most of Friday. I’m getting a bit down with everything. Thanks for listening.
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It seems clear now that mum isn’t going to pull through. The hospital are arranging for a hospital bed to be delivered home and hope to get her back there possibly Wednesday, if she makes it that far. They are trying to organise hospice care at home, we should know more tomorrow. She’s pretty unresponsive now, eating nothing and asleep most of the time. We are all still struggling to understand how it has gotten to this and can’t get our heads around the fact that, if she’d been seen 4 months ago, we wouldn’t be here. Sorry, I know I’ve said that before but it’s true and we’re finding it impossible to digest.
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£6.60 Holiday Inn Express, Glasgow airport. Never again.
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Just to welcome us home, because we haven’t enough going on, we returned to no heating or hot water. Suspect the combustion air fan on the warm air boiler has died, great. Then, this morning I had just got to work when Mrs W rang. Said she didn’t want to add more to my worries but she’d broken down. Fucks sake. EPC light, EML light and no power from engine so she was sat in a car park near the school. Borrowed an icarsoft scanner off one of my team and went to her. No surprise for a 1.2 tfi Skoda, code is for turbo actuator. Cleared the code and drove it home, with Mrs W following in the Superb. Just said fingers crossed it’s ok for now, haven’t told her what it could be and just assured her, if it happens again, drive to somewhere where you can safely stop, switch off for a few seconds and try again.🤦♂️
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Thanks so much for your thoughts @The Vicar. This is the approach we’ve taken far and haven’t mention the religious aspect at all as we were keeping it as a last resort, as you suggest. We just want her to try but she’s still making zero effort and we were hoping she’d snap out of it. She has always been very devout her entire life and was only weeks away from taking her final vows as a nun when she met dad. Spent years as a missionary teacher in Africa with the nuns, it’s just so unlike her to not try. We understand she’s had a rough time but has decided to throw the towel in just as she was starting to get better. Anyway, sorry I’m rambling but thanks again.
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Got home to find heating broken so small donation paid by via f&f I hope.
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What do you think @The Vicar, is this a fair attempt to change her mind? I’m sorry, I know how busy you guys are. I also know you may not see this for days. She’s had priests visit, thankfully, and received the sacrament for the sick ( last rights in the old days) and was anointed yesterday. We just feel this doesn’t need to happen and desperately want her to pull through.
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We’re heading home tomorrow. Nothings changed and I don’t think it will anytime soon. I watched mum have some soup at lunchtime and she sipped about 4 spoons before giving up. I looked at the bowl and nodded at my sister and she then gave her some more. I think she is so weak, just lifting the spoon is too much. I’ve suggested she be fed food for a while to try and make some progress and my sister is going to try this. She’s gone back this evening with some of mum’s favourite pasta and we hope she might have some of this. Still not convinced she wants to try so we may have to have another serious talk in the next few days. Maybe that if she deliberately stops eating, this could be considered suicide and therefore a sin. This might make her think and is our back up. Dreading the drive tomorrow but fingers crossed. Thanks everyone again.
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Dan, losing your uncles like that is absolutely tragic and I’m sorry you had to watch all that unfold. You are also correct about the hospital staff, they have all been and remain fantastic. Mum was in a bad way when we arrived this morning and we honestly thought she’d be gone soon. She was extremely weak and just said she was finished and wanted to go. Very upsetting. We spoke to a nurse who confirmed mum had told her what she wanted last night and they were just waiting for the consultant. I have to say, she was absolutely bloody brilliant! She was kind and gentle and made it clear it was mum’s body and no one was going to do anything she didn’t want. She then asked her why she wanted this and explained that they were starting to withdraw antibiotics and cut down other meds, because she was getting better. She asked if she wasn’t eating in an attempt to speed up her end and mum gave a little smile. She then explained that doing that won’t necessarily hasten her demise and why spend your last days in misery when, potentially, that time might some way off yet. She asked her not to do that and to try and eat. Asked her if she was happy where she was and mentioned the possibility of getting her home in the near future to be cared for there. She really was amazing. She then asked us all what we thought. We said we were concerned that mum made this decision because she was feeling like a burden and an inconvenience. She had expressed concerns about our jobs/getting sacked for not being at work, as three of us live so far away. Was worried I was back up there after only having been there a few days ago. Mum didn’t say anything at this point but we all said we’d rather do these things and still have her than not and that the three of us that are down south had very understanding bosses. Mum seemed to take some of this in and we got her sat up a bit and she drank a little water. Later she asked us all individually to go over again what the consultant said, asking if it was true, the mention of her maybe going home and we all said yes, if you put in the effort. She said she’d love to go home more than anything so we’ve asked that we all work towards that and get arrangements for care at home and a suitable bed put in place. I’m not entirely convinced we’ll get to that but I think she was convinced it’s not necessarily her time to go just yet. A pretty draining and emotional day all round.
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Please don’t apologise for rambling Dan, it’s valid and what I’m doing. We’re just struggling with how we’ve got to this. If she’d had treatment following the camera scan 4 months ago, we don’t believe we’d be at this point but, despite her calling the hospital gastro department for results, nothing happened and she never had a call back and ended up not being able to eat and getting so weak she was admitted for malnutrition. Even then, nothing was done to help her, just fluids. This place seem content to manage death, rather then help recovery. I can’t explain how angry we are with NHS Scotland. It is a total repeat of what Dad went through last year. Mrs W was ok whilst we were with mum, but burst into tears when we left and our boys are in bits. I’m lucky to have a wife who loves her mother in law so much but this shouldn’t be happening. I’m so angry and upset.
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We saw mum today and she was very pleased to see us all. Unfortunately, she wants to tell the consultant tomorrow to withdraw all treatment. She says she’s had enough and after almost 2 months in there, just wants to go. I'm going to the hospital first thing tomorrow with my sisters, so we can hear what the consultant says but, if there’s no chance of a full recovery, which we don’t feel there is, who can blame her? It’s her choice of course but if the consultant can see any chance of recovery, we hope to change her mind. Not a good day😞
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Well, we made it. Mrs W & junior didn’t get back from A&E until 2am so was a later start than planned. We got through the blizzards in Cumbria before it got serious and arrived just before 6pm. £30 to park at the hotel, robbing bastards! Good news though, mum’s CRP count down to 22. Beginning to really feel there is hope. Too late to see her today, so we’ll go after mass tomorrow.
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Cheers Dan, I totally agree! I still got them until last year but at 53 now, I know I was lucky to have him so long and am very grateful for that! Yep, fingers crossed for next year being better but I think we probably all said that last year. I hope to post something positive soon, about cars hopefully! Really conscious of the negativity of this thread at the moment and it’s not what I want and I apologise but the support from you guys is priceless. Cheers all!
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Just had another update from my sister. Mum is now in a private room but, and I’m scared to have hope, she is seemingly responding to the antibiotics. Her CRP count has gone from 194 to 99, her liver and kidney function have also improved. She is conscious and has eaten a little and talking. The hospital are saying they have more treatments they want to do, if she can get stronger but she needs to keep eating, doesn’t matter what, just eat. She has promised to try and has had some soup and part of a sandwich. The power of prayer? I hope so, because we’ve been flat out. Maybe @The Vicar could have a whisper too, if he has time? As I’ve said, scared to hope too much, given what the hospital have said earlier this week and we know it can be good and bad days before the end and maybe this was just a good day. We’ll soon know I’m afraid.
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Fucking hell! We’re getting ready to leave tomorrow morning and poor Wiblet junior has managed to knock a Star Wars statue off a shelf in his room, hitting his foot, taking the nail and tip of toe off. Pissing blood everywhere. Had to pull rest of nail off and clean him up and off to A&E. I looked like a fucking murderer there was so much blood on my hands, carpets, walls. Poor kid, not a tear though, brave lad.
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My youngest sister rang me from the hospital this morning in tears. They asked her to gather the family and were going to have mum moved to a private room as soon as possible. Shortly afterwards my elder sister rang to say she didn’t think it was imminent, so agreed I’d head back up Saturday. Thanks for everyone’s support, really appreciate it, just helps to share.