AxWomble

Want another one?
The so-called "penalties" in this country for driving while impaired by drink or drugs are at best, laughable.  There's no deterrent, even in the unlikely event one is caught.  For the above offences, the FIRST ban should be FOR LIFE, ACCOMPANIED BY FIVE-FIGURE FINES AND CONFISCATION OF THE VEHICLE.  And that's before you hit anything, or heaven forbid, anyone.  The sliding scale for those eventualities should start as above with the addition of a minimum 12 months inside, and go up, and only up, from there.  Fail a breath test a second time?  12 months, bang.  Plus the baseline.
I guarantee this will be an unpopular opinion because boozing is the national sport, but come on, I've seen what happens.

In typical fashion today I have another blood letting at the hospital (I am being cremated in instalments to see if I like it before booking the main event) so today is also my new to me dream car is being delivered. As I sit awaiting my appointment in the oncology waiting room I have just had a text saying it has arrived at my friends in Perth. My friend is going to store it for me whilst I make room in the shed. 
 
I am going to ask for a big bore pipe to be installed so I can get out of here and head south ASAP. 
 
Excite!

Do what some guy did to me and sell it on eBay first

Eight years ago today this turd landed at mine. Tomorrow I will apply for historic tax and, judging by the complete lack of progress on the Mini, proceed to use it over the next few months. 

Both the other cars in this photo since sold and scrapped, the house SSTC and and my lovely friend Emma has moved onto a better place. Then again she lived in Hemel, so a move to Strangeways would have been a positive move. 
Happy bASe day, fellow motorist. 

Quite the morning!  I had a client meeting in Ely which is always a pleasant jolly.  Once completed, I decided to take a middle-class deviation to Waitrose for a Bear Claw pastry and orange juice following a productive appointment.
Then, I spotted something out of the corner of my eye.  I was so excited, I abandoned my car in a bus stop and forgot to put my handbrake on in a fluster! 


Communications were sent to @Skizzerand @Cheggers, with whom - via Whatsapp - we share our love of the unloved.

Things then took a very quick change of direction as I pulled into Waitrose

This is the best thing I've spotted in years. Actual years.  A Pre-facelift MK2 Granada 2.3 L in full 'Euston Films/Minder' condition and spec.  Just. Simply. Amazing.


These still look so bloody good.  I wanted it, there and then.  

I've had to come home for a sweet cup of tea and a lie down.  
PS - this is a maximum 2 hour car park, so it's definitely being used.  Fair play to them too.

RIP, it's gone to heaven with Diana and all the angles. Let it be her Maj's and Sir Captain Tom's passion wagon now.

I would rather have cars to go like this having both the bodies and the wheels fully driven off them. Their destiny has been fulfilled and as little waste as possible was involved. 
30 years of reliable service.

RIP little Soulja etc etc
(other Facebook cliches available)
I trust you’ll be tying a bunch of Aldi tulips to the nearest lamppost?
It’s almost poetic that it expired en route to collect its replacement 😢

TL;DR the site will go for some major maintenance this coming Friday afternoon/evening. I’ll figure exact times closer to the point. Expect a few hours downtime when this is all going on.
The current server setup has been online for nearly half a decade and in computing world, that’s an actual lifetime. It has had a good innings but it’s coming to end of life.
Not only is the server operating system getting close to not being no longer receiving security updates (end of June 2024 is the cut off) but the underlying server hardware is pretty old technology now. I suspect the hosting provider has chocked that server full of other clients and hammering it hard too. Both reasons are very likely why things seem to go really slow at times and you may on occasions get that very frustrating 502 Bad Gateway errors when trying to access parts of the site. This occurs when the site takes too long to generate a page and times out (around 30 seconds). 
Ultimately, we need to migrate to a new server and do it soon. Hopefully it will eliminate those errors. Of course I can’t guarantee for certain those errors will completely go away but I fully expect them to. Likewise, its important we move to continue getting the latest security updates to keep the site stable and secure.
To use an analogy, previous recent updates have been the oil and tyre changes on the bus. This is basically a whole new bus where the branding/customisations need to be reapplied.
A few months ago in the background, I have built up and started testing a new server enviroment. Some may have seen the previous announcement a few months ago about the testing site at https://autoshitetesting.co.uk - thanks everyone who checked out and gave it a poke. The server that this site is on will become the new server the forum will live on (will still stay as autoshite.com when fully live). This is the latest version of our Server Operating System (Debian) and should give us security support till the end of June 2028. The hardware is the latest technology in CPU, memory and disks. These all should offer multiple times the performance of the existing server setup. I’ve jigged things around so hopefully it will keep it to around the same monthly hosting cost despite the increase in performance.
It’ll take a good few hours to copy all the data from the old to the new and then make the switch. I don’t expect any major hiccups but there maybe a few kinks that may need ironing out once live too. I’m hoping that most machines should pickup the new server IP address automagically and we won’t lose anyone along the way. I’ll try putting up a site somewhere else that we can still provide support if things go wrong (probably https://autoshitetest.co.uk). So note that down now.
I’ve been wanting to do this for a while and have had everything roughly in-place, but I’ve needed to find time to finish this off and go live. Life has been busy for me recently and I’ve needed to find a good slot. Not just a few hours but possibly a day or two if things go really awry. I certainly don't expect any issues (otherwise I wouldn't be kicking this off!) but I need to budget contingency as its a major switch with a few unknowns.
The aim is for possibly Friday afternoon/evening to kick this off. I can’t say exact times yet but hopefully can say closer to the time.
I like being on here as much as many of you do and this work is needed to keep this forum all hunky-dory.
I'll leave this thread unlocked for now if anyone has any questions or concerns on this.

Well a day of mixed emotions as I am heading to port (Schiedam) to demobilise for the last time. Sad to realise it will be the last time I will look closely at rigs from the sea after 35 years - glad it is all over! Tomorrow I fly home and Saturday morning I start my retirement! It should mean more pictures of cars and less of the sea on here.....
The sun setting on my career;

 

Nutter

With thanks to @AxWomble and @CaptainBoom the Mrs has commuted to work in her new wip and very happy with it she is too. Note to all who buy the partners cars; set the bar low. 
Small improvements have started. Colour coded gaffer tape to retain the classy looks.

Also making me smile this morning; Porridge to go with cherrys

And warm and dry office shoes;

Not problem there was a boat builder just down the lane.
The first photo is my dad physically building the house, I think they bought the land in 1959. The second photo is just off street view today. It was in 1 acre plot of a former market garden.

First part of my multiple presents from ASSS

It's not in this thread.  In fact, although I've referenced it in various places, I don't think I've gone into detal as to how it works other than in person with people, mainly at the FoD.  I shan't clog up this thread with it, but will put some information up about it at some point.
The very quick version:  It's an A-frame, but with an over-run mechanism at the tow-hitch, a long bowden cable into the interior and a brake-pedal-pusher that straps to the driver's seat.  When the towed car pushes on the towing car, it activates it's own brakes.  Exactly like any other over-run brakes, but all fitted with ratchet straps, bungee cords and cable ties.

Having used my Braked A-Frame for so many years, I've never seen what it looks like in action, as I'm in the towing car.  I can feel it working, but not see it.  So, by the power of having two phones:
Possibly one of the most boring videos on here, but it shows how the car steers, and more importantly, brakes.  I'm amazed by how progressive the braking is when needed.  It needs a better return spring, but that seems to be the only thing "wrong" with it.
Another, just of the turning in to the FoD, which highlights how much the towed car "cuts in" on corners, as it's the same as towing a long trailer with the trailer wheels at the same position as the rear axle of the towed car.  A car transporter trailer is more maneuverable.   But also has to be towed both ways on a journey, whereas this just packages up into the boot of the car, meaning you can drive "normally" on at least part of the journey.  Plus you don't have to tow 600+KG of transporter trailer, meaning in theory I can tow a heavier car this way.
I did take an even longer video... but even I can't watch 30 minutes of a car driving itself along the road.

This weekend has been a fix the white BX weekend by @juular, he has been going hard at it and is progressing.
He invited his own small support crew who came to a damp cold field in North Buckinghamshire to help and have takeaways in a cold barn. The diesel heater works well but the warm air is lost in the open barn.
It set me thinking about a general invite Winter FoD meeting and if we set up the 3m x 6m party tent inside the barn I think the diesel heater would be effective in there. You can’t drive on the grass in winter without damaging it or getting stuck so I don’t think it would be so much a doing event as a social gathering. You could still car camp in the yard if you like or tent camp if you carried your tent to your chossen spot.
Is there an appetite for such an event, say the Christmas week?

Anyone who has owned big French cars has already evolved four elbows  and a wrist that rotates like an owl's head but with fingers that can apply 300Nm of torque.

All we need now is bioluminescent eyes in our fingertips.

Well, the regular updates failed miserably! The local phone mast went down after a storm so no net for a week!
The auction was a waste of time with everything fetching a massive premium because of the chateau factor, most 10x or 20x the estimate. Madness. Some scruffy IKEA chairs, still available new at 59euro each fetched 70 euro each. I bought nowt! The week was not a total loss though as I got the grass cut, drank too much wine and beer and had some excellent meals out.
I had a funeral to attend on Monday so had to cut the trip short, and as the funeral  was in Cambourne, Cornwall (23 miles from Lands End) I decided to take a different route and took the Roscoff to Plymouth ferry. Good if expensive. Sadly on the way the back box got steadily noisier until it fell off and went all Bonnie Tyler
In Plymouth I stayed with some very good friends who I had not seen in too long. The week before I arrived my friend Jim won a raffle and this was delivered to him


Whilst admiring this, his neighbour was out polishing the tidiest K11 I have seen in a long time, 48k miles, 998cc

On the Monday I attended the funeral and left afterwards for home. Left Cambourne at 1330 and arrived home at 2345 655 miles later at an average of 36mpg. Who needs a back box?  
Tuesday was a day catching up on work, Wednesday was a day at the hospital for yet more tests and today I visited the excellent @GingerNuttz of this parish to drop off something to keep him out of mischief. I was worried it was going to be beyond hope and really only took it as I had laid out for new inner and outer sills, but he reassures me and is going to get on with it.

As I get older I have decided to stop doing silly things, stop buying shite and be sensible.
Yeah, right!  
So I got home a week ago and have spent most of that cutting grass and doing a bit of maintenance around the house as jobs tend to build up when you are only home one week in 4 as has been the case since March. This weekend a friend came over and welded the suspension strut on the Saab and yesterday it passed its MOT. This morning I fitted a new battery to the Volvo 240 GLT Estate and for the first time in 2 years it started and took it for a drive up the track and back in preparation for some serious welding work.
I have a funeral to attend in a couple of weeks time which is not very local (about 20 miles from Lands End!) so that has to be factored in. I was also aware of an auction coming up next week with a few vehicles (non road going ones) for sale with ridiculously low estimates so I have decided to mosey on down and have a look and see if the estimates hold true. According to the AA route planner, the road trip including going to Cornwall is just over 1800 miles, going direct to each destination, so realistically over 2000 miles but I have 10 days to do it.
Sod it, why not! Leaving home tomorrow about 9am so need to check fluids on the Saab, pack the boot and see if I can find out why the radio has stopped working.
Driving from the North East of Scotland to a two day auction in France to buy a 58 year old tractor that has not been started for 25 years and the auctioneers full descrition is "wreck" makes perfect sense, no? Of course, it may be a "come and buy me" estimate, but at least I will get to sit under my tree drinking red so it will be a win whatever. Watch this space!

Went for a night out in the big city*
They have cats, so I slept in the van as I'm allergic to em.
 
*A mates house in Harrogate.


I make that 49mpg.  Not bad!

Sounds decent.
Honestly,  the less I have do the more likely I am to do it if that makes sense?
Also, since I've 'made it' and moved to the *outskirts of Durham I've pretty much concluded it's God's country. I will only leave under extreme duress. 

I still miss the little light bar I had on the zx! Had practical uses as it made the night turn into day on the tiny B roads, and I always won the game of 'turn your fucking headlights down you twat' 👌

The car has officially been christened "Toaster".

More car park shite.