Today has been rather hectic for the Fumbler Household. This morning, Grandmother Fumbler dislocated her replacement hip, fell on the ground and was wailing in agony. Paramedics arrived an hour after the 999 call and propped her up off the kitchen floor. They asked if she was physically fit, "oh yes yes" she said when she isn't. In fact, with every replacement she's had, she's run a cart and horse through the physio rulebook and ignored doctors' advice. Mother Fumbler tries to find all the prescriptions Grandmother has to explain all the pills she has. No, finds nothing and instead finds loose pills, empty packets and nothing else.
She is in so much agony the paramedics have to pump her full of morphine so she's as high as a kite and cannot answer to anything. She's carted off to hospital. At 1:00, Mother Fumbler calls to ask if everything is well. The hospital says everything is fine for now but Grandmother is being trnasported through the building so no active status can be given. Fair enough, that's fine, so Kother Fumbler does a ring-around to explain the situation to all the family.
We call at 3:00 and get directly to Grandmother Fumbler. She's said she's properly dislocated her hip and is being transported to the operating table in the next 20 minutes. Bollocks, that means she will be immobile, using a Zimmer frame and everything for another month because she'll be at the same stage as she was when she had her hip done. Will she listen to excercise advice and what the doctors say this time around? Probably not!