Right, update time.
In short, it's being an absolute bastard.
The car had been blocked at the back of the driveway at my parents by 3 other cars for a week or so, didn't have time to drive it etc. Finally got round to driving it, took it to the shops and all was well ("scrap" battery that I had put in it a couple weeks earlier had held up just fine, so that's always good). Didn't cane it on the drive whatsoever, just took it easy. When I got back, I pulled into the drive, shut the car off and a big fuck off cloud of steam poured out from under the bonnet. "Oh my fucking god it's on fire" was my first thought. Run out, open the bonnet and have a look. No fire. Look closer, and a previously bodged coolant hose right next to the thermostat was pissing out all over the exhaust, hence mega steam. I let the car sit for a bit once again because of this, but the other day I HAD to drive the car to go and pick up something that just wouldn't fit in my other car, despite me really not wanting to. When I got out onto the road in it and got to a set of lights on a main road, it starts doing its best impression of a Pontiac Fiero again. Now, I personally didn't give a shit but I thought everyone else might be a little concerned at the thought of a 25 year old Rover looking like its on fire in front of them. Pulled over, had a look again and it had got worse. Coolant was now actually pooling on the manifold as it was spraying out the back of the hose, creating a lot more steam. I didn't really have a choice in terms of turning back around, so I soldiered on and drove 30 miles down the motorway, taking it nice and easy at 60MPH to allow the car to run cool enough, just incase. Basically, when the car is warming up it leaks everywhere. When the car is hot (motorway temps), it's perfectly fine. However, this means when you park the car up and turn it off, it loses shitloads of coolant.
The pipe in question, rather visibly shagged. There's a very small, un-noticeable crack or split on the back of it, which causes it to spray all over the engine/manifold.
I tried to get the hose clamps off, but they're far too rusted on and were just getting mashed up. My next idea was to use self-amalgamating tape. The hose is in a really awkward place, making it hard to stretch out the tape and apply it tightly. I tried my best however, and put quite a few layers on.
Topped up the coolant, as it had lost about 2 litres of the stuff on that last day of use. Blower is refusing to work again, probably making it hard for it to bleed.
Of course, I haven't been able to cure it. Under load it's still dripping quite a bit, but atleast it's no longer spraying out the back of the hose and onto the manifold. If I get brave, I might give it a run around town later and see what's what. Gonna try some more layers of tape before that, though.
I'm a bit miffed that it's had to sit for so long, as the insurance on this thing really isn't that cheap and I'm paying for it monthly. It's set to renew on the 20th, and I'm not sure if I'm going to renew it or not. If I don't, it might be time to sell and get something far cheaper to run. Driving this thing in winter is absolutely out of the question for me.