Shirley Knott

Starting this now as I’ve got to start early doors.
Alarm set for 3:45AM
Mrs JJ has to deliver me to Ely train station for a 5:30AM departure to Birmingham New Street where I change and board the train to Shrewsbury. 
 

Pre purchase nervs poo count: 1 in progress as posting this. 
 

My current wagon. I'm now tramping for a small general haulage company in West Thurrock, having finished with Woodland Group in July after nearly three years (between then and starting my current job, I suffered five weeks working for Uniserve, whose transport department couldn't run a piss-up in a brewery; just because a company has a fleet of brand new trucks, it doesn't mean that it's any good to work for). A definite step up from the knackered 17 plate Actros I used to drive ^^
 

Yes, but it's currently off the road sans MOT due to ongoing running issues which I have so far been unable to rectify. I suspect that the idle control valve has failed. I hope to get it back on the road in time to celebrate the 20th anniversary of owning it in December

I agree. Neither the SLK nor TT are sports cars per se. I have owned both by way of experiment really. As opposed to my MX5's which are staying with me. That said, I wouldn't mind trying the V6 versions of both SLK and TT...might be chalk and cheese.

Christ, if the TT is a better drivers car than an SLK, are they really that bad to drive? Presumably an MX5 runs rings around these on the corners? 😬🫣
I keep looking at them as cheap performance but the styling doesn't want to gel with me. 

Maybe not popular on here but this is fucking lovely, and it looks like a real one. 


Kudos to him for actually using it. He must have deep pockets. That turbo probably needed a ferry ticket of its own😳

We have arrived at our overnight stop. 
Yes, it's a boat.
We have some interesting company.

Now, to the bar!
 
 
 

All of the above, maybe. I'm not good at geography...
My chariot has arrived.

And we've met our travelling companion.

Ok, time to draw a line under my automotive debacles for a while. We're off on a road trip!
What a great way to forget about cars for a while 🙂
#checks itinerary.
Oh.
Essentials packed 

Some more essentials packed.
 

I'm getting picked up shortly.

Hello mate.

Ta da

vehicle acquisition last leg.
No pez shot as there’s half a tank in it.

Fiat Uno Turbo on TSW Blades. 

Not going far afield today for a collection but it’s Friday so pointless diversions welcome.
Poo count zero - reflecting confidence in travel arrangements.
Confidence short lived - ventured the idea of a lift 15 minutes down the road from Mrs ODM…
Complete this sentence… “Get to fu…”
Alternatives explored - Bus was predictably shit and slower than crawling on my belly over broken glass.


Therefore decadence levels upgraded to Taxi class. We await a Lexus IS300.

 
 

Yep, quite fond of these.
I served 3.5 years of a 4 year heavy goods fitting apprenticeship for Leyland Daf (Left without getting my papers 😑) and we used to service and look after these as well as selling them new.
I worked on the LDV's and the Daf 45's pretty much exclusively for a good period of time before I was allowed anywhere near the 7.5 ton stuff or anything bigger.
An interesting story is that we used to park them in the workshop over the weekend, and the rear brakes/handbrake would somehow lock up even in that short period of time.... It used to be my job the bray the rear wheels with a hammer on Monday morning to free them off and get them reversed off the pits!
 
 

1k miles later.
I've stuck a new thermostat in before realizing LDV obviously didn't bother changing the gauge for the plethora of engines they fitted, so 33% is perfect operating temperature.
Think this peak van. Small enough to drive without worry, but due to the wider body than an equiv transit, still decent inside space wise.
 
It's solid enough, but the rear valance needs a bit of work. Not too many compound curves on this one so should be doable. Driver's side also has a little crumple after previous owner's son interacted negatively with a concrete gate post. There's some less than good paint on top... I'm thinking push out the parts I can reach from inside, sand, paint... it won't be perfect but won't be so conspicuous.
pictured at the world's poshest services on the M5

 
I used the previous camper conversion (read: bed) going to a mate's gig in North Devon. But now ripped this out for van mode: 

 
 
It's only the 75PS 2.4 Duratorq. So no intercooler. Potential to add an intercooler for a few more HP? Not sure if I'd see any gains without a map.
 
 

Yep, quite fond of these.
I served 3.5 years of a 4 year heavy goods fitting apprenticeship for Leyland Daf (Left without getting my papers 😑) and we used to service and look after these as well as selling them new.
I worked on the LDV's and the Daf 45's pretty much exclusively for a good period of time before I was allowed anywhere near the 7.5 ton stuff or anything bigger.
An interesting story is that we used to park them in the workshop over the weekend, and the rear brakes/handbrake would somehow lock up even in that short period of time.... It used to be my job the bray the rear wheels with a hammer on Monday morning to free them off and get them reversed off the pits!
 
 

So, you're probably expecting this post to be about how I've been zooming about in my new 911, with lots of pictures like this?.


Well, yeah, About that
 
Have this instead.

I'd taken a couple of shiters a run(not at the same time) and noticed a light ticking sound from the engine on the last run. At first it sounded like a manifold leak. As I headed home though it rapidly got louder and the oil pressure started to drop. By the time I found a layby to stop it in I had a full on death rattle.
The Porsche with the £10k engine rebuild 7k miles ago? It's fucked.
It's been abandoned at my mates unit in disgust. 
I can't afford not to fix it, however I'm wary about throwing money at another "specialist" so the plan is to pull the engine out and see what's happened. 
Gutted isn't even the word. Fuck cars.
 
At least I have the BMW to rely on? 
 
Yeah, about that...
A couple of months ago I got a warning for the air suspension. A bit of googling said to check the relay located under the spare wheel in the boot.
Let's have a look then.
 
It's the green one here

Hmm

Well, that's not ideal

Amazingly, this was working a day or so previously...

A new relay was fitted and the suspension started working again. All good, or so I thought
Around this time the boot soft close stopped working. An unnecessary frippery no doubt but without it the boot needed a good slam
Then the  tailgate wiper stopped working.
I found they are known to seize up so opened up the glass tailgate to check it. Sure enough the wiper mechanism felt stiff. I disassembled this and lubed it all up, then put it back together. Only now, the tailgate wouldn't open, either glass or the main one. 
Fuck cars
The loom going into the tailgate is a known issue on these so after a monumental amount of fucking about involving an allen key taped to a pole and prying the trim of the tailgate to reach the emergency release. Incidentally I had a receipt in the service history for a repair being done to this wiring already.
Here's what I found in the wiring. 


Yeah, nice work 😑
I ordered a replacement section of loom and splice it all in. And, no difference. Now, at this stage that wasn't a major issue as most of the affected systems looked to go through the other side. However, that side looks fine.
I wanted to test the continuity before replacing the other side as there was no obvious breaks, then the Porsche died and I frankly lost all interest in it and everything else with 4 wheels.
Fuck Cars.
I've offered it to a mate for cheap, if he doesn't take it I'll either try and find someone to fix it or sack it off.
Have some music
The forum wouldn't embed the original video because swears, click here for some top Scottish rapping though... https://youtu.be/7g1QETb6JFs?si=tbJT0JEBiYJ9vB6a
 
It's not all bad, the Kangoo got it's tracking done. Not by my local National who I've used before as a new guy was having a bad day. It took him about 10 attempts to open it off the fob and then threw a paddy at the warning lights on the dash (only there because the ecu has traction control and the van doesn't. I think of it as more of a feature and have chosen my stereo backlighting to match them)
Anyway, because the van was too low at the back they couldn't get the kit on the back wheels, despite me having helped them lift the van up to do this the last time. The guy refused to do this this time.  Fuck National
So, I got the tracking plates* out

And dialled it in by eye. It drives spot on now. It had been out since I fitted the new hubs, I'd just not been using it enough to bother. Handily i did this before everything else went to fuck.
It also got some appreciation when parked up at Glentress as I was mountain biking

Well yeah, it's a van but there you go. 
 
So, naturally, I've agreed to buy another car. Just waiting for the private plate to be removed and the new plate to update on the system so I can insure it and drive it home. WCPGW?
 
 
 

It's a tricky one isn't it... Its easy to be critical of them but the small issues you've mentioned are well known (and easy/cheap to fix).
The Mk5s I see for sale locally are riddled with problems, and my MOT tester will moan for as long as you're prepared to listen about the number of Mk5s he's having to weld up for the second, third and fourth time. He recons the later they are, the worse they get.
Meanwhile, the youngest Mk4's are now pretty much 20 years old and yet there seem to be vast numbers of them still on the road, many more than equivalent aged fiestas/corsas I suspect - But I'm pulling figures out of my arse admittedly.
Personal experience,  mines now done 190k and is on original injectors/fuel pump as far as I know, and my younger brother has a Mk1 octavia (Same car essentialy) that he's owned from a year old, it's now on 220k and still on its original turbo/injectors/pump and the original exhaust was only replaced last year... Both 20 years old, neither have ever been welded,  both daily drivers still covering circa 500 miles a week with no real drama.... If that's not a measure of a durable car, I don't know what is.
 

I drive (amongs other things) a Mk4 SDi Golf with 190k and 68ps....
Drops mic.
 

Took it to work on Thursday for the oil change and not only did they plonk it on the lift they actually did everything for me. Didn’t even have to open the bonnet which was nice.

Tommy the Friendly* Tech seemed pleased to work on something a bit different.  Well worth a slab of lager to not be rolling around on the floor spilling oil all over the driveway.

A quick reset of the service reminder and another job done.  I may change it again in a few months as I’m not sure when it was last done, treat this is as a bit of a flush.  I’m at a bit on an impasse now as I’ve had it for the year and I can’t decide if I need to stick or twist.  My missus has me on a strict one in / one out.  I’ve scratched the Saab itch but it’s soooo nice to mooch about in.
If I keep I’ll sort some of the rust out and get it Noob’d.  Already got roofing dye but can’t find the waterproofing in the garage, this needs done regardless.
 

Been a while but a few little things done. Recently had the tracking done which has helped but still some slight wobbly vibrations to figure out.  Unrelated I took the rear n/s wheel off as it appeared to have a slow puncture, and whilst I was there I noted a slight* hole in the back box;

Balls.  Whipped it off and the whole thing is fucked so a new genuine* replacement ordered from Neo Bros.  Arrived and fitted at the weekend (see if you can tell the difference).
All shiney and also better placed than before too.  Rubbers aren’t great but they’ll do.


Also got the wheel back form my local Kwik Fit and was informed it wasn’t a leak but possibly a bit of corrosion. He’s cleaned it up, resealed it and all is good and wouldn’t take any money! He just did it when they quiet for something to do.
Additional bonus was he also rebalanced it and guess what’s gone now…

Spent the day giving it a right good clean and even did some restorer on the plastic to bring it back up.  Looks pretty good (even though I know it’ll fade).
Identified some rust I need to resolve where water has been trapped in a seal for the roof, looked a lot worse than it is and the metal is actually pretty solid;

Annoyingly there’s a bit of bubbling on the lip which is visible,  otherwise I’d sort it myself. Mind it was that which gave me heads up there was something amiss so I can;t complain too much.  The otherwside isn’t as bad and can be sorted by me;

So dried up the seals, brushed away the loose flakes and refit for now.  Cleaned and treated all the seals whilst I was at it.  I’ll get some quotes to get the other side tidied up along with the bubbling on all four arches. 
Also taking it to work on Tuesday to get the tracking done and the A/C topped up.

Oh yes it is, but not when it's...

So, what does a man do when it's concerningly hot for September?
He finds a blue 51 plate Fabia, and removes useful parts from it. This sad little MPI has been here for a long time now.

The Doctor Bartolo (channelling my inner Barber of Seville here) official* cause of death was OMGHGFM9, given the presence of a two-litre coke bottle full of water in the boot of the car. I also retrieved a black rear view mirror from this car for my own one as I'm working on a fully black interior because I'm an idiot. Got the grab handles too, which are for my mate who is up-speccing his Dad's SDI. Anyway, for £15 I got the whole boot carpet set (which includes the floor section, and the two side panels), the rear view mirror, and the two grab handles.

Only criticism is that I had to disconnect the boot light as there was no hole for it in the new carpet, however, it's less to go wrong etc. The wiring is still there in case I intend to re-fit it, but for now all is well, broken trim aside - as the black section on the left decided to snap all the clips at the mountings. I'm going to have to replace that at some point as it has come loose now, but I am not overly bothered at the moment.

It's only fucking running.

Steel wheel on the front as one of my alloys is in the hands of David Fowler by now I think. The other that took the brunt is pretty badly damaged. 
Oh well, it's running and driving very straight despite a mildly bent tie rod. All is well. I haz car noo.