louiepj

Ah, you off to get this?

I'm Sorry, I havn't a clue

Pfffft.
I smell a rat.

Once again I have no idea what is going on.

Went back again today and paid my respects properly.
If I'm honest, the food wasn't as good as yesterday...

I've just been to a funeral, a chap called Graham Barrett.
I'm fucked if I know who he was because I went to the right place, at the right time but on the wrong day. It's not really good form to walk out halfway through is it? So I had to meet the family, do the old friend from school bollocks and say what a nice service it had been. Bizarrely not one single mourner mentioned my total lack of foot wear.
Back again tomorrow then...

It's on an axle stand, and the exhaust looks to be hanging down. Has someone done some work on it there or pulled the engine and gearbox and now abandoned it?

I offer a two week, intensive, residential course in 'lowering your automotive standards'. 
First week involves getting to grips with a high mileage Passat with front wings you could stab dry spaghetti through and 2 doors that don't open. The instructors will ensure that you do absolutely ZERO preventative maintenance whilst you're here.
From here, I don't think this looks like a lemon. You're the right man to improve it as you've got exacting standards. Godspeed, hope you start to gel with the car soon. 

Just been looking at Google street view images of my old school to see what's changed.  And I found one thing which hasn't changed at all.

This fucking Land Rover used to park outside the school when I was there over 30 years ago.  In fact it doesn't look like it's moved much since then.  Absolutely fantastic!

Zut alors, grand succès!

The tester evidently used to work on C15's at a Citroen dealers in the Eighties and was very complimentary of @dean36014's welding - he even asked for first refusal should I ever want to sell her.

But what we REALLY want to know is, how goes the Horsebollox camper?

Greetings Shiters, hope all are well. 
Found myself in urgent need of alternative transport,  last week. Long story cut shorter, after just shy of ten years I changed jobs and the new role involves a fair bit of training up and shadowing,  plus some cab hopping as my designated truck wont be ready until March. 
Thus, my commute has gone from a 3 mile round trip to 60. For nighttime shifts it's been OK as I have borrowed the wife's Puma, but for day work all I have is my Series 3 Landy. 
Now this is fine on paper and I can, have and probably still will do mega miles in it, but sub-30mpg a shit heater and general Landroverness has lost its appeal very slightly.  The cost alone isnt amusing any more. Also I'm 40 this year, and aching for a excuse to buy something as I haven't bought a car for myself for fuckin ages.
Last Thursday I had a paid day off sorry standing down shift (this new job is the tits) so decided to go car shopping. 
Budget a grand, targets: 45 to 50mpg, cheapish tax and ability to seat four a bonus - originally was gonna get a van but the RFL LOL and lack of child carrying capacity quickly ruled them out. 
An hour on autotrader and three phone calls I had my target. The guy sounded like a normal human being and was genuinely surprised I hadn't just ghettoblasted his inbox with stupid offers. Mrs Scruff was at work and unlikely to want to ferry me about after doing the school run etc etc so I decided to be totally self sufficient and get the train. Worse case scenario, if the car was shiter than I expected, I could walk to work and borrow a van to get home. 
First job was route planning. Took the Land Rover to the yard where I keep all my old kak and left it there:

Next a pleasant walk to the station. Here i punched my destination into the ticket machine, and once id got myself off the floor went on the interweb and got a ticket twenty five quid cheaper:

Stamford station looking a little shabby in the cold. 
It's not far to Northampton, but my cheapo ticket meant changes at Nuneaton and Rugby, no matter I had plenty of time and it was a nice day for window gazing. 

coffee rating 3/10 

It was pitch black by the time I got to Northampton, and very cold so I got all extravagant and got a taxi. Nice Passat in case you need to know.
I shit you not, the driver was on his phone the whole ten minute or so, on some live cam bonking chat with a Eastern European (I assume from the lingo) sort. He must have sent her fifty quid by tapping his screen on the journey, she didn't even get her bits out. By the time I was about to say something we were there anyway, I told him to keep the meagre change as he will need it if he's addicted to bongo chat while driving. 
Anyway the car was much better than I dared hope, it was the cheapest example I'd seen and been described as having "more dents than a golf ball" but mechanically sound. Fortunately the guy had floodlights on his drive but TBH I didn't look that hard, you just know don't you? I went round the block with him and it felt tight as a drum, everything worked and after handing over 800 notes I was the tenth owner of this beauty. 

I insured it sat outside his house, taxed it (swearing a little it wasn't a 35 quid tax one as i smugly thought i'd researched but its not too bad) and then drove it home. 
Been going to and fro work in it for a week now and its great, I really like it! It is rough, but that's fine as I can leave it anywhere and not worry. It is absolutely mint inside and everything works. 


 
I have NO history of anything except what the guy I bought it from had done (DPF, various sensors, shockers etc). Its got 188k on it, I'm going to do the belt ASAP and then just see how we go with it. 

Lonesome Lane is on a cut through I sometimes have to use between Horley and Reigate.
Google Maps: 51.206410,-0.188008
Looks like they keep every car that ever fails on them!

VW heritage edition
Where VW pays tribute to its roots by offering all its cars in Wermact colors and decals. And on the dashboard there is a bobblehead figure of a man with a strange moustache. And the car's GPS is preset to Paris and Moscow.

@dollywobbler has a drone. 

He inadvertently ended up making something that looked like a late nineties grunge video. 

I got the filters out. 
 


Well, fuck you, I liked it. 

'following standard budgeting advice, which says you shouldn't spend more than 10 percent of your monthly income on car-related expenses'

Local garage lads seem to keep finding these unmolested crackers as side projects...... the bastards 😁
Was garaged 2014 by giffer owner apparently 

Has a couple of garage storage dents and dings..... 


But looks to be a corker - obviously I put in a hopeful 'is it available' query but I'm not holding my breath. 

Please do get involved, continue to get involved and never ever stop. One - it makes you a decent human and B - I absolutely love reading about these endless jams and japes you end up involved in. 

It's already started. 

I can't get VWFS to authorise a service plan on my 10 year old Leon (110k) even though its own terms and conditions state a limit of 15 years and 200,000 miles. 

We're in to the third week of 'computer says no' and the relevant department apparently has no phones and 'only communicates by email.' 

I rearranged an entire week around getting the car serviced and was basically told to fuck off 'because the car is too old.' 
I think a public interest story on the matter would make a fascinating read. 

Apparently my top buy with Sainsbury's in 2023 was Freddos.  That's because my local Sainsbury's petrol station bizarrely decided to sell off their stock at 9p each so I bought pretty much all of them.   The door pockets in my car are still mostly filled with Freddos.

So it appears that Sainsburys now reckon they're Spotify, and have (somewhat belatedly) hopped on the groovy train to email me my "2023 Wrapped!!"

I have absolutely no idea what I'm meant to do with this information.
Other than possibly track down the #1 buyer of Belvita Cocoa breakfast biscuits in the local area, and challenge them to a duel to determine the one true champion.

It would be weird if she returned as anyone else wouldn't it. If she came back as Grant Mitchell or Arthur Fowler it would probably be confusing for the viewers.

I think this top trumps the Princess Ann and Scimitar story