GrumpiusMaximus

Went for my first spin in it. Wouldnt idle- noticed a split vacuum hose to the dizzy, which once sorted helped a lot; it seemed to also need a fair bit of choke. Its got an MOT currently so wonder if they leaned it off for a pass? So i ticked it a bit richer. After i got to a petrol station and added some fresh pez it ran better still. 
I think it probably still need needs a proper service and tune up but its running really nicely now…..

Big Rover fucks Irishman in findom's garage.

One of my girl mates (who I shagged for a bit before we entered the friend zone - hee hee!) had one of those 1.1 Puntos - it was really quite rapid and rent as you’d expect an Italian hatch to be - brilliant car.
 
I’ll  never forget the time we walked out of my flat one morning, over to the Punto, unlocked it and got in - only to find the key wouldn’t turn in the ignition. We were still a little groggy from a lively night out and it took a while looking around inside before an uneasy feeling descended upon us….. then the penny dropped - we were in the wrong car!

Some on here would struggle to keep it down at the thought of a Fiat Tipo for £2500! 

Hers: Ovlov 340 4 door saloon
His   : Ovlov 340 2 door hatch

Both cars were (entirely by coincidence) stopgaps.
Both cars were true shitemobiles and were independently bridged within our first year together. 
He got a V8 RR with mild HGF which became hers after the 340 died.
He then dailied his 34 year old LR until the chassis finally crumbled.

Many years ago I had a lucrative sideline taking my fellow workmates cars for MOT in my lunch hour.
Mainly lucrative because I generally got the work.
My late wife drove all the failures that I ended up with for next to nowt.
Think Allegro, Ambassador, Mini, etc. She was over the moon years later when she bought a brand new 205 with her own money.
My latest flame has a Kia Picanto Auto, owned from new 6 years ago. Around 5K on the clock now.
She passed her test in a manual years ago and bought an auto first car, by mistake. 
Had to buy Auto's ever since because she forgot how to use a clutch! 
 

You win the Justy back.

As it is today.

When at college with the merchant navee, I had the reputation of having quite a turnover of shrapnel.  When I turned up at a girls house feeling ropey and told her I had a Yellow Fever Injection, she looked over my shoulder and asked where it was parked.  She didn't drive at the time, but soon learned.

When we met back in 2008, MrsDC was driving a three-year-old Yaris that she'd owned from new.

Sixteen years on... still driving the same Yaris.

Looking a bit frilly underneath these days, and with plenty of battle scars, but still plodding on.
She's announced her intention to drive it until it's only fit for scrap, so we'll see if it makes it to its twentieth birthday next year.
I would scoff, but this thing has outlived fourteen of my cars over the same timeframe - so I'll just appreciate its cockroach-like tenacity...

She has had this absolute cockroach for the last 5 years. I hate it's utter boringness yet I admire it's absolute inability to ever break down, consume any parts or need anything but a service and petrol.
But my god is it dull.

Mrs Popsicle had a top of the range A reg silver Triumph Acclaim 1.3 CD when I got together with her in 1993. It had electric windows, central locking, acres of velour and a sunroof, very posh. Made my 1986 Cavalier 1.8 GLSi seem very spartan.

My current squeeze had what is now my green 1998 Suzuki Swift 1.0 GLS before she “upgraded” to a twinair Alfa MiTo which she still has. She is actually the third girlfriend of mine to have a Suzuki Swift as a first car so I clearly have a type 😂

My other half didn't drive when I first met her back in 2008.   She learned to drive when at Uni and was a bit of a shiter for a few years.  I helped her buy her first car - an N-reg sadface Fiesta 1.3.  It drove nicely and then decided to do an impression of Fred Flintstone's vehicle of choice and went over the bridge after about a year.
Then there was a Rover 200 that got ditched due to OMGHGF.  At this point she was training to be a teacher and the University had a deal whereby you could hire a car (rural area) if your car was questionable, so she drove around in a brand new Seat Leon, a sporty Clio and a Corsa.  She hated the Corsa.
Then there was a MK1 Ka.  She got a job in Guernsey a few months later.  Rather than taking it through an MOT, she decided to export the car to Guernsey as there are no MOT rules over there.  This I think, is the height of 'shiter spirit'.  After she came back, we parted ways for a couple of years.  I think she had another Ka that got written off but in the end the car that 'stuck' the longest was an 06-plate MK2 Focus 1.4 Studio.  Possibly the slowest thing on four wheels.  This would have been around 2014.  She had that up until about 18 months ago when my Mum's old BINI R56 Clubman Cooper Diesel replaced it.
Her sister's first car was an S-reg Seicento 1.1 Sporting in bright yellow.  She owned that for about 12 years.  It failed its MOT on rust (after being welded the year before) and it's currently sat on her parents' driveway... she now has a MK5 Fiesta.
 

Noice. 
TBF the seller said it would definitely pass the MOT no problem and I hadn't spotted anything of concern, but still.

Investigations:
One caliper was indeed pretty stuck. One piston especially.

The sliders on both sides weren't mega but they'll clean up.
Annoyingly, the outer side of both discs is looking a bit thin so I'm gonna have to buy some discs.


Pulled both calipers apart to see if I could get away with a £0 GBP refurb* of just cleaning them up and reusing the seals. One side was good but the other will need 2 pistons as I'm not happy with the level of pitting on these.

Shouldn't be too bad to get it back through the MOT but it does also ideally need 4 new tyres and this throttle valve thing sorting. Cars eh.

The paint stripper didn't turn out too well, ORL MODERN PAINT STRIPPERS ARE SHITE. And I think the mudguard has had a much harder life than the other bits.
 

I deployed assorted abrasives and got it something like.

There were a couple of cracks which a previous bodger had repaired with cable ties. Because of my excellent track record in buying non-crashed motorbikes, I have a tool for this.

Listed by TemuExpress as a "plastic welder" this is a machine that joins the 2 sides of the crack together by melting a hot funky paperclip into the plastic. 

I left it with some filler on and will come back to it tomorrow.
I have to admit I don't much enjoy painting (or more accurately, preparing things for paint). I ordered some new panels but the boomerangs were £60 new and a mudguard would have been £85+duty and only available in Thailand.

I am saving overall by re-using these bits but I'll have easily spent £40 on paint and supplies when all is said and done which means that if you cost the swearing at inadequate paint stripping tools around £20 an hour you'd be better off just buying new.

Been a while. Had to spend a lot of my free time on patios and decking after being dicked around by a bullshitting gardener*
Here's a thrilling mostly text wall for you:
Van
Went to my tame van fondler to have some front seats fitted. I actually had these for the old van but never managed to fit them. From a TT, they are on swivel bases. Very happy with them.

He also gave me a list of things wrong with it which I got the selling garage to fix. They did drop links, DPF pressure sensor, gearbox mount, and a starter motor. The van whisperer told me the timing chain was making noise although I couldn't hear it. The selling garage weren't really interested so I asked Mercedes to measure the chain stretch when it went in for the airbag recall. They failed to measure it and told me they couldn't hear a noise and there was nothing wrong with it. 
The only noise I could detect from the chain was this fairly alarming rattle on startup. 
In the end, after reading various things about chains online I concluded it probably wasn't stretched/worn and replaced the tensioner. The new tensioner is a revised part with 4 larger oil holes instead of 2 small ones. I don't have another video but there is no more alarming startup noise. 

We're off on holiday in the van next week and the only thing I need to sort is fitting some towbar wiring for our bike carrier.
Audi
Hasn't really moved for a couple of weeks as its been raining. I did put 4 new tyres on after one of my part worns stopped keeping the air in.
Grom
Sailed through MOT once the MOT plate and a reflector had been applied. Retaxed at £25(!) for the year.
Vespa
I did get the engine back in the frame a while ago, it's so close to the road but I haven't touched it. Need to pull finger out.
Gilera
Shit got slightly out of hand with this one and I ended up with 3 frames and approx 2.4 engines. 

I bought a 180 frame off some twat who breaks them and runs a facebook group. He told me it had been used for racing and had had a bracket cut off at the front that holds the fusebox on. I reckoned I could live with that. 

What the shitehouse definitely didn't mention was that the head tube had been cut and rewelded and the lock stops were made of bolts and pigeon shit. It looks like the head tube has been lengthened by about 5mm, maybe this is to use different forks or something?
Let him know I wasn't happy but obviously returning something like this bought via FB is not like taking something back to Lidl. In the end he offered to send me another frame at a discount. Wasn't really pleased with that but needed a frame so had to go along with it. At least I now have a clean 180 frame to build it all onto. I also got a 2nd set of engine casings/bottom end with all the brake stuff intact so I will swap over the 172 top end onto that at some point and build it all up. I'm pretty sure I have one  of everything and some spare stuff to sell to try and get a few quid back.

I was once seeing a girl that lived with her grandparents.  They were really nice.  Her Grandfather owned a Proton Wira 1.5, which would have been about 12 years old at the time.  Top spec with leather seats, etc.  It was actually quite good...

My other half didn't drive when I first met her back in 2008.   She learned to drive when at Uni and was a bit of a shiter for a few years.  I helped her buy her first car - an N-reg sadface Fiesta 1.3.  It drove nicely and then decided to do an impression of Fred Flintstone's vehicle of choice and went over the bridge after about a year.
Then there was a Rover 200 that got ditched due to OMGHGF.  At this point she was training to be a teacher and the University had a deal whereby you could hire a car (rural area) if your car was questionable, so she drove around in a brand new Seat Leon, a sporty Clio and a Corsa.  She hated the Corsa.
Then there was a MK1 Ka.  She got a job in Guernsey a few months later.  Rather than taking it through an MOT, she decided to export the car to Guernsey as there are no MOT rules over there.  This I think, is the height of 'shiter spirit'.  After she came back, we parted ways for a couple of years.  I think she had another Ka that got written off but in the end the car that 'stuck' the longest was an 06-plate MK2 Focus 1.4 Studio.  Possibly the slowest thing on four wheels.  This would have been around 2014.  She had that up until about 18 months ago when my Mum's old BINI R56 Clubman Cooper Diesel replaced it.
Her sister's first car was an S-reg Seicento 1.1 Sporting in bright yellow.  She owned that for about 12 years.  It failed its MOT on rust (after being welded the year before) and it's currently sat on her parents' driveway... she now has a MK5 Fiesta.
 

In 2007 I got a lift in my new girlfriend's (now wife) Daewoo Kalos. It was my first time in the beautiful* car. I wrote my name in the dashboard dust. 

The now Mrs_Craig had what was then a newish Astra mk4 convertible, the Edition 100 model with tan leather and BBS alloys. It was sold to raise funds for fixing her 19 year old cat which managed to break its leg while we were on a few days break in Scotland. She bought a 1998 MGF with the change and got a few months out of it before the inevitable cooling system issues made themselves known (we began fixing it before throwing in the towel and “upgrading” to a 2008 TF in Vibrant Orange). 
 
Current car is the perennially fragile Bini R57 which is older now than anything else she’s ever owned. 
 
 

I'm sure she was delighted when she saw my CVH Sierra 

The ex had a terrible condition corsa C when I first met her. 
Should have heeded the warning signs and run away there and then... 

My wife's first car was an Austin 1300 when she started learning to drive in the late '90's  Gifted to her by her grandad who had kept it in the garage for her for years.  Sadly its next MOT was the death of it, much welding & other work needed saw it scrapped, then life got in the way and she didn't end up passing her test until we got married 10 years later (then we got her a Citroen C3)

My other half didn't drive when I first met her back in 2008.   She learned to drive when at Uni and was a bit of a shiter for a few years.  I helped her buy her first car - an N-reg sadface Fiesta 1.3.  It drove nicely and then decided to do an impression of Fred Flintstone's vehicle of choice and went over the bridge after about a year.
Then there was a Rover 200 that got ditched due to OMGHGF.  At this point she was training to be a teacher and the University had a deal whereby you could hire a car (rural area) if your car was questionable, so she drove around in a brand new Seat Leon, a sporty Clio and a Corsa.  She hated the Corsa.
Then there was a MK1 Ka.  She got a job in Guernsey a few months later.  Rather than taking it through an MOT, she decided to export the car to Guernsey as there are no MOT rules over there.  This I think, is the height of 'shiter spirit'.  After she came back, we parted ways for a couple of years.  I think she had another Ka that got written off but in the end the car that 'stuck' the longest was an 06-plate MK2 Focus 1.4 Studio.  Possibly the slowest thing on four wheels.  This would have been around 2014.  She had that up until about 18 months ago when my Mum's old BINI R56 Clubman Cooper Diesel replaced it.
Her sister's first car was an S-reg Seicento 1.1 Sporting in bright yellow.  She owned that for about 12 years.  It failed its MOT on rust (after being welded the year before) and it's currently sat on her parents' driveway... she now has a MK5 Fiesta.