GrumpiusMaximus

That's because you're a massive success due to an outstanding Secondary Education, obviously.

Needs to be an older teacher with a pre-1997 Grandfathered Minibus licence. But yes. I've been in this minibus. Going down a massive hill, the driver (my manager at the time) terrified me with: 'Oh, feels like the brakes are fading a bit...'

My Golf says 'Hi!':

@stuboy Can you please confirm?

@dozeydustman can you confirm or deny?

It’s easier to just write yourself into a trope to save the embarrassment. Trust me.

I looked Ryan up earlier. Turns out he's a barber in Hove now, married and has two kids. With all respect to @AnnoyingPentium I'm not sure he's been through puberty yet.

'Ryan's Mum' Ryan's Mum is a really nice lady. She's really proud of her incredibly skinny and weedy son, who managed to get into a good school and works hard. She wears a bit too much make up and talks a bit loudly. Her car is small but smells very strongly of air freshener and stale cigarettes. And divorce. Usually spotted with Ryan in the passenger seat and another kid from the same school she's giving a lift to, who is much bigger than Ryan. Driving-wise she's as average as can be and is careful to avoid side-on accidents in her economy car. Back around 2001, this would have been a Peugeot 106 but is now a Peugeot 107 or an older Vauxhall Corsa. Everybody likes Ryan's Mum but doesn't like being squeezed into the back of the tiny car. But at least it's better than walking home after Rugby training. Which Ryan didn't go to because he's too small, so he was out late after staying behind catching up on his maths homework.

He wouldn't go 'Vroom' if you put 400 Octane in him!

The particularly tragic examples marry and name their children based upon the last three letters of their marginally-personalised plate.

'Failure in their 30s'. Drives an old car that was once considered a decent model but is now towards the end of its life, diesel, covered in dents from a previous owner and rarely washed. Bonus points for slightly obscure, quick-ish estates. Likes cars but can't afford anything newer and secretly harbours ambitions of owning a modern as they sat in one once and quite liked it. Usually have had several jobs and have finally settled into a career that is inexplicably dull to everybody around them. On the road they usually drive sensibly but are occasionally filled with rage from their relative failures as a human and like to boot it away from much quicker cars at opportune moments because there is nothing left for them in this life. Gets shouted at occasionally for using the horn in frustration and flashing their lights at oncoming cars with their beam on. Uses their indicators fastidiously but has never quite got the hang of roundabouts. I'm 35.

My condolences on your latest purchase.

The advantages of youth.

I drove a MK1 Ka for four years. I’m 6’2 and have always been North of 16 Stone. John Candy in a Mini is an excellent way of describing that experience.

For whatever reason, whenever I get a train the wait is always 'about 20 minutes'. Even if I'm transferring at interchanges in London. It's always 'about 20 minutes'.

Good luck!

https://www.amazon.com/review/R2JGNJ5ZPJT4YC https://www.boredpanda.com/hilarious-comments-sugarfree-haribo-gummies/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic You're not the only one!

Sat in the cockpit of an Avro Vulcan this afternoon…

Managed an almost completely clear run from Canterbury to somewhere near Stoke last night. Astonished isn’t the word.

Well, my partner gave him a deadline of yesterday night to let us know what he actually wants. We were travelling to a different part of the country where the perfect car was available and had a few days to contact the seller and arrange a viewing and now he's lost that opportunity. I expect a fucked Alfa in my near future. His problem now.

Having to come to their help with practically everything, including when the Alfa shits its gearbox through the rotten floorpan. It's in our interest to get a decent car for him. Believe me. Repairs he can sort himself, fortunately enough. But currently he has a Focus with a fucked starter motor that he's not getting repaired because 'it won't pass the next MOT', despite said MOT being 5 months away. Sadly, this isn't a rational situation.

Unfortunately due to various mobility issues it’s very much our problem as we’ll be the ones picking up the pieces. I won’t go into specifics on a public forum but it’s a very complex situation...

They've owned Alfas in the past and 'know the make'. Or rather, they'll try and irritate the local Alfa specialist garage with constant innane questions again. In fairness, they've owned a 164, at least two 156s, a 147 so they do have experience with them. But an Alfa GT with 'severe underbody corrosion' is ridiculous even by their standards. What they need is something cheap, sensible, reliable and has good parts availability. The Alfa GT is insurance group 32E...

Trying to persuade a family member that a particular car is a better fit for them than an end-of-life Alfa with 'severe underbody corrosion' listed at the last MOT when they won't listen and really want an Alfa, despite having a very limited budget and not being able to go and see said car before purchase. Like pulling fucking teeth.

My condolences for being in Leicester at this time in the morning.