motorpunk

Got a few here and they're the best guys we have!

As a distraction from the fascinating world of online banking fraud, can I add a mildly amusing anecdote about "the most stupid message when BUYING a shitter"? Many years ago I worked at a large engineering company in Leicester when, on regular visits to the shop floor, I was usually the only person not from India. This is not unusual in Leicester. Many of the guys did not speak much English and some seemingly didn't speak any. So as a friendly bloke in a suit with a decent grasp of English I used to get asked for help with non-work related stuff from the Indian lads. Reading and form-filling and stuff. I didn't mind if I had the time. Anyway... Indian chap with a particularly thick accent waves a copy of the Leicester Mercury's classifieds at me, pointing at an advert for a Honda Prelude. Leicester's Asians seemed to love Japanese cars and the one advertised seemed OK, on paper, photographed outside a posh house and with a well-written ad. He wants to me ring and ask about the car for him. "Perlood! Good car! What price? Address?" he asks me. I politely correct him; "It's pronounced Prelude, not Perlood" and find a quiet office to call the seller and get the details. All the time mateyboy is gabbling on to his workmates in Urdu about "Perlood, Perlood". So I call the number with the dialling code of a nice, rural market town, and a very well-spoken chap answers. I tell him I am ringing on behalf of a colleague who, having seen the advert, would like to view his car. "Oh yes, I see", he says, "that must be my Honda Perlood"...

Found why my car has been spitting acorns at me… 🤣

Aircon regas..... aaaaaaah, nice and cool again. Bought the guy an ice cream as a thank you, when paying.

"Would you like to come to France to make a film about 1950's GP"... errr, me? Fuck yeah! Also, letter from DVLA in the post.... shitttt, what's this? Ah, tax reminder for the fiat at "nil" pounds for the year. I love old cars.

Cracking feature in a recent issue (not one I wrote!), thought I'd share;

Phwooooar! Red!

I love seeing shite amongst the cool stuff at Goodwood 🤣

Good lord, that's a result! Well done.

They were parked up the street (residential area) and came to site, but all the filthy fucking vermin travellers hid, and when plod wandered off they all came out again, then a fat kid of about 10 years old but with the face of a 50 year old man, in a skin-tight tracksuit and huge 'diamond' ear-ring tried to punch me when I told him to fuck off trying to trip me up and steal my tools. Won't be going back in a hurry.

I think that’s someone who has returned a rental/lease car to a neighbouring company. It’ll be on bricks by the morning. The cheeky wee scamps have already smashed the fire alarm system.

If anyone in the Midlands is missing a very large quantity of big monitors, then they’re in our carpark. Two piles like this, left outside in case the cops bother to turn up and ask who nicked ‘em. What’s the blue container for? Looks like acid! This lot are absolutely feral. 😕

They’ve just demanded £2500 to move on. Fuck off.

Great. Look who’s taking over the office carpark again. Looking forward to standing in human shit and getting stuff nicked again.

"Where have I got to come to look at it" On my face.

https://www.motorpunk.co.uk/out-and-about/goodwood-festival-speed-2022-best-bits/

Two things! 1-Goodwood Festival of Speed, this weekend. Am packing now. Excited. 2-It looks like I’m entering the most Autoshite of motorsport events; the 24 hours of Lemons, in the US, this autumn. Details TBC. A proper bucket list thing!

More pics and a plug for the book - https://www.motorpunk.co.uk/out-and-about/perfect-forgotten-filling-station-england/

That's a fantastic picture.

Fantastic! Absolutely fantastic! Junior 'punk who owns @SmokinWaffle's ROFL Panda would be all over this sort of roadtrip... she still needs to pass her bloody test though... More pics, please! Have fun!

I was reading about the end of the governments EV subsidy. They said half a million cars had been bought with the subsidy which was typically £2500. Why am I grumpy? Because that’s £1.25 billion of U.K. taxpayers money mostly gone to support overseas car production with very little economic value to the U.K. and when the environmental issues are global. U.K. car stink is something like (IIRC) 0.05% of global emissions. Waste of money on a colossal scale for naff-all environmental benefit.

Got any details? Decent pics and description of what's been done, and what's needed, etc?

I paid 300 for this, it was bloody brilliant; I then drove it to Africa. It was the best roadtrip of my life and the car was mega. Here's me being all cool and sexy and that. I then swapped it for a piece of cake (true story). I would love a Metro Turbo, but I reckon my mental ceiling for that would be about 5k. I think a boggo Metro would be almost as much fun, and would pay 2k for a minter. Am I out of touch?

This is brilliant