stonedagain

....or indeed children 

which is why i got some scaffolding put up at home so that i could get upto the eaves of the house and give them a lick of paint and realign the guttering which was leaking.
i have had folks in before who have charged a fortune to do a shit job up there, so this time i decided i was going to do the work myself.
at least then if i did a shit job, i only would myself to blame.

Given the amount you spent to get it done, I'd be on the 'phone to the person who did it telling them to get their arse back there and sort it out.

Lucky coincidence?
When I was a student a gimp got a car with JAZ on it, and then spent the rest of the year trying to convince everyone to call him Jaz to match the car. Didn't work, they all called him jizz instead.

WARNING - HERMES RELATED GRUMP AHEAD!
Ordered something off the internet earlier this week,  yesterday I get a notification saying 'Your parcel is now with your local Hermes courier for delivery'
Well, despite my initial concerns, Hermes did indeed deliver my parcel today, as they promised........
 
 
.....guess where they left it........
 
 
 
No? Well here is where they left it -
 

Brilliant!
 
I mean abso-fucking-lutely brilliant!
 
Who the fuck is that? Now I have to use my intimate* knowledge of the legs of all the residents of all the households in my street to identlfy what house has my fucking parcel!
(and no, there wasnt even a card left giving any clues as to who has / where my parcel is!)

Given that you've had exposed mains wiring near your plumbing recently, maybe you might want to connect the bin up to that as a security* measure....

I can understand how people come to loose their jobs after punching a superior ....
even if it is a woman ...
it was fucking close the other day ..... 

Amputate feet extremely efficiently?

this  is a great advert for bringing back public floggings in this country.....
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9549961/Thugs-destroy-familys-prized-collection-vintage-Minis-cricket-bat-covered-nails.html

Shit, bet she's hurting!

Ah, I can see what the problem is now.  You've mistaken Hammerite for carb cleaner and blocked up all the jets.

So mother in law's funeral yesterday. 
Where's the grin? 
She woke up in the middle of Saturday night saying her mum had been to see her and told her she was happy now and that she would be back again to make sure my wife was okay
 Daughter. Son and his Fiancee, came Sunday.  And we had a lovely evening. 
Funeral was short but perfect, came back and had a buffet of mother in law's favourite food. 
Then we all went to the beach. 
Son and Fiancee went home yesterday, daughter goes home today. 
Wife is very calm and has actually slept through the night for the first time in months. 
Chat was mostly about son's new house, (survey came through whilst we were on the beach) and about the wedding at the end of June. 
My new suit was deemed very acceptable.  Apparently I need a white shirt. 
I digress.  Wife calm. I'm grinning. 

I fell into a trap today from the Mrs. She has OCD, more specifically "poo fear".
We go to the park & have a nice cup of tea. I put used tea bags in a plastic bag & dump in rear footwell. "Isn't there a bin?" she says.
Oh look, it's Admiral Ackbar!
Yes dear, it's on the walk. I pick up the bag and we walk. Bin has a lid. I'm not stupid, I've been here before and lift the lid using the bag, and then drop bag in. OCD says no, as she then keeps 2m away from me. Not for covid, I am CONTAMINATED.
Ok, explain?
People go to park with dogs.
Dogs shit.
Shit goes in bags.
Bags go in bin.
Bin is covered in shit.
I touched the bin, even though I didn't.
I'm covered in shit.
I think I need to get her a job with the homeopathy marketing board.
 

Keep an eye out for 50+ obese, tanned exotic beach going gentleman, apparently they are the people to go see if you want one smuggling in.
 

It’s 5:45 at time of writing. I have a day off, don’t need to be up.
Cat has just jumped on my face to get at the glass of water I brought up to bed. Must have run out in the bowl downstairs? Went downstairs to check cat water. No it’s full. Just being a pointless arsehole like all cats are.

Took the 545 to Preston for an autobox service. Due to rona I could not wait at the premises - I walked to a retail park to kill a couple of hours. Due to the car requiring a new mechatronics sleeve the job took another couple of hours.
I walked up an down Blackpool Road so many times I was expecting somebody to call the 5-0. I should have done a sponsored walk.
What I did see however was THE biggest dog turd I have ever seen - it looked like it had been left by something prehistoric.

Isn't that usually referred to as "Arson"?

I also tried repeatedly banging my head on the steering wheel which also didn’t resolve the problem.

As an aside, that carpet in the garage deserves a mention! Tremendous!
Is it an Omega?

Captures the misery of an official vauxhall photo shoot really well. If you stack them on top of each other do they make a vectra? 

Looks perfect budget solution for AS funeral.

The above picture highlights a slight issue with the rear tyre.


Going to need some tyre shine

Parcel recieved. Bargain. 

Vosa approved beam tester. 

Large! But what a honey. 


Better keep @Six-cylinder away.