sofarsogood

A couple of weeks ago, whilst looking around ebay, I found something pitifully cheap. Low bid. Scored.
 
Couldn't collect straight away, so.it's been standing, waiting.

Hi all,
 
GSF have a 40% discount code knocking about at the moment, it's FEB40. I haven't tried it myself, so don't come and get me if it doesn't work.

I thought they went long ago, along with Charlie Brown's.

Amazing stuff ! The AA chap sounds like a total legend, he NEEDS to be on here !

Cavcrafts Perodua innit.

That man is not your friend.
 
VW NuBeetle - good car capable of reliable service.
 
P38 diesel - the polar opposite.  As Don Logan would say: No. No No No No No. No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No! No No No No No. No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No! No No No No No. No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No!
 
 
 
A mate's Dad had one of these shitheaps new and it was/is absolutely dire. If there's anything worse than a V8 version, it's this. The M51 tds unit has just enough power to pull an E36 or E34 along at a leisurely pace but imagine a Mark 2 Granada with a 1300 Crossflow and that's the P38 diesel - it wouldn't pull your foreskin back /pull you out of bed/ pull a greasy stick out of a dog's arse etc. And it does 23 mpg if you're very lucky in between meltdowns.
 
Plus they're really, really council - although I think you, as a hirsute non tattooed/meathead/bouncer/10 pence drug dealer sort might get away with it if the P38 in question is bog standard, does not have aftermarket chrome enhancements or a 99 pence Norn Iron DAZ24532465 or BIG23452345 number plate.
 
 
 
 
As you were.

Moar?! Coming right up!
 

 
So, having planted his Corsa into the posterior of our 306, Mr Company Car was no doubt put in a brand new courtesy whip until such a time as his usual steed arrived, all mended and freshly polished, back on his driveway.
 
Meanwhile Nicola was all grumpy and in the miserable position that her beloved Peugeot had been involuntarily restyled and awarded Category-C status, and as a couple we were resigned to car-sharing; not convenient when our working hours don't mesh.
 
If I could, I needed to get the 306 back on the road quicker than possible.
 

 
So, immediately after rescuing the Pug and locking it in our garage, we went to Brighton for our annual Christmas Shopping extravaganza.
 
Over many excellent pints at The North Laine, a plan was hatched which resulted in Nicola booking the 306 in for a post-repair inspection at the place which has MOT'd it for the last ten years on Tuesday week. This meant that, after getting home I'd have four days of 9-5 and then a weekend of tinkering to spend getting the Peugeot fit for the road.
 
Delighted to see me doing some hard work, my Dad granted me the use of his comfortable garage and workshop. His 540i was kicked out and the 306 installed for strip-down and inspection. The survival of the car would hinge on whether the boot floor was bent.
 

 
It's here that I confess to my having probably contributed to the write-off decision being made. The reason for the gaffer-tape all over the rear end was that the tailgate couldn't be made to shut post-impact. A bodyshop estimator or loss adjuster would probably leap to the conclusion that bodyshell distortion was to blame, but I knew something else. Something far more silly.
 
Several weeks before I had decided that the tailgate had fallen upon my bonce once too many times thanks to tired struts, so I sourced a new pair from work. The replacement items, from a C-Class Coupe were an exact fit, but were set up to handle far greater weight. The result was a very, very power assisted tailgate with a convenient built-in catapult. It wouldn't take much miss-alignment to prevent it from closing at all.
 

 
Once the bumper was off, very, very simple on the XN, I could see the full extent of the damage. The valance (can't think of a better word for it) had been pushed in about seven inches and the slam panel below the bootlid had been twisted through about 15 deg. I would have to try and untwist it in a manner that opposed the direction of impact. Delightfully, the boot floor was 100% unmangled. Not just that but it was also in unnaturally good condition.
 

 
The fact that this meant I was looking at what was essentially a cosmetic repair put me in a really good mood, so I went in for a celebratory cup of tea before continuing.
 
What followed was my first attempt at using a hydraulic ram and I rather enjoyed it. I braced it against the subframe using angle iron and gently began to nudge the valance back in the right direction. All kinds of positive-sounding noises occurred and, little by little, it began to regain some of its original shape.
 

 
I soon learnt to leave the metal under pressure for a little while otherwise it would spring back to its dented state. I was lucky, too, that the nearside was largely unfucked so I had a decent point of reference.
 
When I emerged from underneath I could see that the slam panel had rotated enough to be almost symmetrical again. I spent the next hour or so playing around with the tailgate, adjusting the lock striker and fiddling with the hinges, until finally it agreed to do what I wanted to do, namely stay shut and be willing to repeat this willingness to comply for several cycles. This was sufficient cause for celebration for me to open and consume a Toblerone.
 

 
Now it was time to get that dent out of the slam panel, access to which was rather limited from the inside. I wistfully attempted to knock it out with a drift through the little access holes orifices there were, but succeeded only in stretching the metal. I was quite impressed, though, by how thick and tough the metal seemed to be.
 
Accepting that I'd be making a mess, I broke out the slide hammer.
 

 
I drilled holes where I thought prudent and then attempted to pull the dent out bit by bit from the outside in. After a session of banging and crashing that probably sent most of the residents of Frinton-On-Sea panicking that they'd been plunged back into the war, I ended up with something that I thought I'd be able to hide under filler. I used a spinning wire brush and "prepped" the surface for application of gob.
 

 
By way of excusing myself from the crudeness of the outcome of this enterprise, I should say that this was intended as a "get the car back on the road" repair, rather than a "nobody would believe it ever happened" repair solution. I applied layer upon layer of P38, then ran out of that and went on to stopping filler, sanding and reworking as I went. This process finished Sunday off and recommenced on Monday morning.
 

 
Meanwhile I had repaired the rear bumper through the simple expedient of "putting some glue on it". I'm pretty sure a body coloured item would have burst into a challenging thousand piece 3D jigsaw, but all this took was some glue to an inner seam and a replacement number plate.
 

 
Even before I refitted the bumper I knew only too well that there was still a sizeable hollow where not enough material had been added, but it was surely enough of a repair to show that progress was being made. The decision to leave it in primer was made partially to show that all remaining work was a matter of cosmetics only. I was actually really pleased how flat and true to the original shape I had got the slam panel to be.
 
Plus, I kind of like how it looks with a kind of tramp stamp above its arse.
 

 
The day after all this tomfoolery the Pug attended its booked inspection where it was decreed that "there's nothing wrong with it, mate". We then spent some of the write off money on a new brake caliper (the n/s/f had been sticking for ages) and a tyre, and spent some more on an exceedingly good Chicken Shashlik later that evening.
 
Write off? Not on my watch. Nice try, Vauxhall. 3/10, could do better.
 
Part three to come when the weather turns less shitty, no doubt with boasting about the concours* quality finished product. Thanks for reading.

Down to the local Romanian car wash for some Weaboo Pimpan Magic YO.

Scrubs up OK, although the paint has numerous dings, scratches, chips and blemishes.  In fact, only two corners have been biffed or scraped, and someone has ignored the rear parking sensors and bashed up the rear under-bumper a bit.  The fuel filler compartment is a water trap and there are some rust bubbles below the filler aperture.    Otherwise, no evident blebbage.
 
Toolkit, warning triangle, first aid kit, built in ski bag, and glovebox torch all present, handbook and full service history from new also present. Three keys, all working.  The boot is not so much a boot as a small house.  Officially rated fit to carry four dead hookers at once (six if you chop them up first).
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 


 

Code is JANSALE

2 Fulvia's!
 

This might be a solution. Even with day insurance still cheaper/ less hassle than train.  
Twosmoke would next door book an mot for me?
 
Edit- messaged seller.

I use Rome 2 Rio website, http://www.rome2rio.com/, when I am day dreaming about R75 Roffle wins. Perhaps you could get shuttled down by other forum users in different shite motors in varying states of decay. That would make a GR9 collection thread.

Not on the facebook group, can we add tickets to that list on here? I'd be interested in the Niva.

As a little side business that hopefully that might make me a living, I'm developing a app that can scan Renaults engines/abs/airbag/etc for error codes using cheap ELM327 adapters off eBay. The only problem I have is that I need a test subject to test on to fix bugs. Now I decided to choose the most scanned vehicle (read into that as you will...) which is the Renault Scenic/Megane with the II 1.6l VVT.
 
I spotted this advert on my Broken Renault saved eBay search before Christmas with this award* winning first front picture.

Spare and repairs that I was told was because shifting the auto box into drive, the engine dies. 150k on the clock, auto box, privilege trim so all the toys. As I was only needing it for parts to make a test jig on, I didn't really care. Ended twice at £150, no bids. So thought I'd make contact and see if they'd take a cheeky offer... which got accepted! Also got told its life history...
 
This was last week, problem is I needed to arrange a recovery to get it onto my drive. Just getting a Scenic wasn't something I was really could be bothered to get! However I finally decided to phone up a car transport guy and who actually could do it today.
 
So tonight I turned up and saw the beauty. Handed the money, did the paperwork and got given a huge wod of paperwork history. Went out to it, tried starting it and it ran ... for 10 seconds. Hmm. Tried again but kept the revs up. Really didn't want to run or idle. Shifting into drive worked but needed foot to the floor to keep it running and move. Anyway recovery truck arrived, so I managed to reverse it up enough to get it on the back of the truck.
 
I beat it home, so while sitting in my car I had a think. Now I know (from the statistics from my app) that the most common (by a huge margin) faults on the 1.6 is the camshaft sensor and the crank sensor. Unfortunately I forgot my scan tool earlier, so I couldn't scan it. A quick google showed that the failing sensors could cause that. Anyway I know from experience that the Crank sensor on these autos is different from the manuals and is much more reliable. So that left the cam sensor. 
 
Van arrived, decided to disconnect it - as if it ran better, it'd be a lot easier to get off the back of it. Disconnected it, started it, burrrrrrrrrr....
 
Gave it some beans, stuck it in drive and it merrily pulled itself off. Left it idling on the drive for a couple of minutes and it just purred. Bonza! 
 
Here is the big heap of French cheese:

 
Replacement Cam Sensor is £15 from Euro Car Parts.
 
I was originally going to rip its brains out and cube the rest. However as its still running and has a MOT until mid June 2016, it's gonna be worth something. Problem is, I really don't want a Scenic. I could do with the bits, but that'd be a bit of a waste. I could sell it, but even though it appears to be fixed it might be just playing with me like French chod does and would (imo) be unfair selling a family car potentially carrying kids, etc to someone that might break again. Hmm...
 
Part of me just wants to tax & insure it and drive it at around for a laugh. But then I could sell it and put it towards something more I'd want like a Clio 172.
 
What do you guys reckon? Sell, drive or rip apart?

I love these criptic posts. OK I say 98 Holden Commodore on a Cat C with a homebrew LPG kit running from a Calour Gas bottle.

Daughter took the ex- FathaAngry 600 to the car wash today, probably the first time it's been cleaned for 6 months- it comes up lovely . As long as you don't look at the Big dent in the back, I must keep an eye out for a Nightfire boot lid , not spending more than a tenner mind.

In theory, yes...however, it's not really worth it. I've already ordered a dipstick which is due to be delivered Wednesday in order that I can get the fluid level spot on. The curtain wire was only used to make sure there was enough fluid in there following the rebuild, bearing in mind I drained 7 litres out and only put 4 and a bit back in.  
Which leads us to the latest update....
 
I don't want to tempt fate but following initial investigations, all seems well. I put 3.5 litres in, started it up and it engaged gears ok. I then left it ticking over for a bit whilst tidying up before going to move it whereupon there was nothing...just neutral in all positions. I checked the level again bearing in mind it was warmer so it should have been higher up the wire....it was actually lower, only just registering. I then put another litre in and started it up to let it circulate. It was at this point I went back into the office to finish my cuppa and saw the brand new filter sat on the desk instead of being fastened to the valve block.
 
Bollocks. With a capital B.
 
Anyways, up in the air we go once again. Fluid back into a clean sheep feed bucket, sump off, filter on and back together again. This time, all seemed fine so it as time to bite the bullet and go for a tentative drive....
I went a mile down the bypass, came back up and stopped for a listen. No whine, nothing...just very smooth changes throughout...barely noticeable but for the rev counter dropping slightly. Feeling brave, I turned around, went back down to the motorway then back around to Morrisons for some diesel and back up the bypass, this time giving it a bit of welly.
 
It's quick for a big old barge.
 
Later on, it was pressed into duty for the Chinese takeaway collection and bar for one slight hiccup, it seems absolutely fine. The first time I tried kick down, it dropped into neutral for a split second, until I took my foot off the throttle, whereupon it re-engaged drive again then all was well. Thinking about it, I thoroughly cleaned the valve block out with contact cleaner and the air line so I think there was probably a slight airlock in one of the galleries. Either way, it was fine the next time so I'm pretty convinced there's nothing wrong with the box. I've ordered a dipstick along with a lead for my scanner so come Wednesday, I can monitor the ATF temp accurately and get the levels spot on.
 
I've also taxed it this morning so it's going to get a bit more use for the next few days, then if all turns out well, the next job is to investigate the clunking from the arse end when going over bumps. That and some cosmetic attention to the bumper corners!
 
By the way, the Chinese was pants. Don't remember ordering battered chicken in vinegar sauce....

Aww! Thank you everyone! That's really kind of you! It's been a bit of a emotional morning really, Mrs T was getting labour pains last night but they died off so we went to bed, at 4am they started again kicking ass so we went to the hospital at 6.30am where she was 7cm dilated, by 8.17am Nancy Violet was here! Mother and daughter are perfect.
 
Sadly she's the 6th baby born this morning unbelievably! But we are going to be in the local paper! I just can't believe it, 10 years of trying, 4 failed IVF treatments and we get a perfect little girl naturally.
 

I think my laptop screen is a bit grubby, I just read that as "Bring it on Friday and make sure you have some way of getting home again without a Saab"

This has got to be the cheapest way to get a Hybrid car if that's what floats your boat. 900 quid. 
 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/honda/honda-civic-hybrid-ima-cheapest-in-uk-/1147655490

TIMYLI (This Is My Life Live It)
 
 

 
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/LANDROVER-SERIES-1-1955-RUNNING-ORDER-/201490731094?hash=item2ee9c89056:g:950AAOSw3KFWe9yj
 
'This is going to need a Big Spender to get the party started'

'Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June
In Liverpool loading bogs
Shit old van with yellow roof on
And a gearbox grinding cogs 
 

 
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/ldv-convoy-van-/121847988896?hash=item1c5eb4c2a0:g:fYIAAOSwHPlWe9fw
 
We is headin' for delivering ice cold cream
'Bout a mile outta Huddersfield Town
I says, "Pig Pen, this here's the Super Scoop Paul
"And I'm about to put the crushed nuts down
 

 
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/LDV-CONVOY-ICE-CREAM-VAN-HARD-SCOOP-NOT-TRANSIT-/191753118033?hash=item2ca5606151:g:DjwAAOSw8-tWXaza
 
Cause we got a little convoy
Rottin' through the night.
Yeah, we got a little convoy,
Ain't she an awful sight?
 
 

 
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/ldv-convoy-tipper-spares-or-repair-/262166635004?hash=item3d0a5961fc:g:duQAAOSwHQ9WWvh9
 
Come on and camp in our convoy
MDF gonna get in our way.
We gonna roll this fuckin' convoy
'Cross the Whitley Bay
Convoy!
 

 
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Camper-Van-Converted-LDV-Convoy-2-5-Diesel-Banana-Engine-/351607598394?hash=item51dd722d3a:g:62UAAOSwk1JWcxPY
 
By the time we got into Yarmouth Town,
We had a breakdown truck an' all.
 

 
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Recovery-Truck-LDV-400-Convoy-/181950347446?hash=item2a5d15f8b6:g:g4QAAOSwf-VWULLh
 
CONVOY!

 

As it is already Christmas eve here, 7:30am as I write, I would like to wish all on here (even the nutters and the grumpys) a happy Christmas. Today is starting with a cup of tea and some Chrimbo cake before brekky.

Hammer falls on £75 Rover 75.
Buyer looks at front of car and notices cloud of steam.
Smile falls off buyer.
 
 
Hammer falls on £400 Micra.
Micra conks out and won't keep running.
Buyer tries to wriggle out and is told to FRO.
Micra leaves shed on starter motor.

My work here is done.