On a walking holiday with a mate on Mull. When I awaken after an unplanned snooze in our hotel I find she's had about 6 lagers in the bar and now very worse for wear. She proceeds to very loudly ask me and rest of the bar about the possibility of a shag later. Interrogates me as to why I don't fancy her. When the fish and chips arrive I'm alarmed to see she can't use a fork. She stabs at the mess with such violence that tartare lands on her nose and forehead. When we getup to leave there's fish everywhere and her seat is effectively destroyed. FFS
