Jump to content

ayd

Full Members
  • Content Count

    296
  • Joined

  • Last visited


Reputation Activity

  1. Like
    ayd got a reaction from michael t in Confessions Corner? Forgive me Father for I can haz sins.   
    found myself in the unusual situation the other week of being in my Wife's 5 Series with no Wife and no Children so I flicked it over to tiptronic and proceeded to give it some beans down the back roads where we live.

    Inevitable happens and a van comes the other way, no bother as I've just passed a passing place so I'll flip it in to reverse and back up.

    The car will not go in to reverse...nothing I try will work, nudge it forward, nothing, say a little prayer...still nothing.
    In a split second the 'oh shit I've fucked the gearbox the Wife's going to kill me and I'm in this guys way what am I going to do?' comes over me.

    So I look up through the windscreen, and instead of mouthing : 

    'my apologies dear chap but it seems I'm having some issue with my gearbox and it won't let me select reverse, this is a new fault and hasn't happened before so would you mind awfully being a pal and backing up so I can continue to the garage to get it looked at and sorry for the inconvinence'

    I mouth : 'I can't reverse'

    So  Mr Van driver shakes his head and in a torrent of verbal abuse containing words like 'typical BMW drivers' and 'fu**ing c**t' begins to reverse some distance to the passing place much further up the road.

    Of course as soon as I pull off I realise the problem and being the thick twonk I am, the car is still in tiptronic therefore reverse isn't selectable.

    So as the van driver continues to reverse, I practice the speech I'm going to give the van driver about what an idiot I am and my apologies etc. but before I can drop my window he's off in a cloud of wheelspin and dust still mouthing off at me.

    I have vowed to hunt this man down and explain I can reverse I was just being a complete and utter tit.
  2. Like
    ayd got a reaction from mat_the_cat in Confessions Corner? Forgive me Father for I can haz sins.   
    found myself in the unusual situation the other week of being in my Wife's 5 Series with no Wife and no Children so I flicked it over to tiptronic and proceeded to give it some beans down the back roads where we live.

    Inevitable happens and a van comes the other way, no bother as I've just passed a passing place so I'll flip it in to reverse and back up.

    The car will not go in to reverse...nothing I try will work, nudge it forward, nothing, say a little prayer...still nothing.
    In a split second the 'oh shit I've fucked the gearbox the Wife's going to kill me and I'm in this guys way what am I going to do?' comes over me.

    So I look up through the windscreen, and instead of mouthing : 

    'my apologies dear chap but it seems I'm having some issue with my gearbox and it won't let me select reverse, this is a new fault and hasn't happened before so would you mind awfully being a pal and backing up so I can continue to the garage to get it looked at and sorry for the inconvinence'

    I mouth : 'I can't reverse'

    So  Mr Van driver shakes his head and in a torrent of verbal abuse containing words like 'typical BMW drivers' and 'fu**ing c**t' begins to reverse some distance to the passing place much further up the road.

    Of course as soon as I pull off I realise the problem and being the thick twonk I am, the car is still in tiptronic therefore reverse isn't selectable.

    So as the van driver continues to reverse, I practice the speech I'm going to give the van driver about what an idiot I am and my apologies etc. but before I can drop my window he's off in a cloud of wheelspin and dust still mouthing off at me.

    I have vowed to hunt this man down and explain I can reverse I was just being a complete and utter tit.
  3. Like
    ayd got a reaction from drum in Confessions Corner? Forgive me Father for I can haz sins.   
    found myself in the unusual situation the other week of being in my Wife's 5 Series with no Wife and no Children so I flicked it over to tiptronic and proceeded to give it some beans down the back roads where we live.

    Inevitable happens and a van comes the other way, no bother as I've just passed a passing place so I'll flip it in to reverse and back up.

    The car will not go in to reverse...nothing I try will work, nudge it forward, nothing, say a little prayer...still nothing.
    In a split second the 'oh shit I've fucked the gearbox the Wife's going to kill me and I'm in this guys way what am I going to do?' comes over me.

    So I look up through the windscreen, and instead of mouthing : 

    'my apologies dear chap but it seems I'm having some issue with my gearbox and it won't let me select reverse, this is a new fault and hasn't happened before so would you mind awfully being a pal and backing up so I can continue to the garage to get it looked at and sorry for the inconvinence'

    I mouth : 'I can't reverse'

    So  Mr Van driver shakes his head and in a torrent of verbal abuse containing words like 'typical BMW drivers' and 'fu**ing c**t' begins to reverse some distance to the passing place much further up the road.

    Of course as soon as I pull off I realise the problem and being the thick twonk I am, the car is still in tiptronic therefore reverse isn't selectable.

    So as the van driver continues to reverse, I practice the speech I'm going to give the van driver about what an idiot I am and my apologies etc. but before I can drop my window he's off in a cloud of wheelspin and dust still mouthing off at me.

    I have vowed to hunt this man down and explain I can reverse I was just being a complete and utter tit.
  4. Like
    ayd got a reaction from NorfolkNWeigh in Confessions Corner? Forgive me Father for I can haz sins.   
    found myself in the unusual situation the other week of being in my Wife's 5 Series with no Wife and no Children so I flicked it over to tiptronic and proceeded to give it some beans down the back roads where we live.

    Inevitable happens and a van comes the other way, no bother as I've just passed a passing place so I'll flip it in to reverse and back up.

    The car will not go in to reverse...nothing I try will work, nudge it forward, nothing, say a little prayer...still nothing.
    In a split second the 'oh shit I've fucked the gearbox the Wife's going to kill me and I'm in this guys way what am I going to do?' comes over me.

    So I look up through the windscreen, and instead of mouthing : 

    'my apologies dear chap but it seems I'm having some issue with my gearbox and it won't let me select reverse, this is a new fault and hasn't happened before so would you mind awfully being a pal and backing up so I can continue to the garage to get it looked at and sorry for the inconvinence'

    I mouth : 'I can't reverse'

    So  Mr Van driver shakes his head and in a torrent of verbal abuse containing words like 'typical BMW drivers' and 'fu**ing c**t' begins to reverse some distance to the passing place much further up the road.

    Of course as soon as I pull off I realise the problem and being the thick twonk I am, the car is still in tiptronic therefore reverse isn't selectable.

    So as the van driver continues to reverse, I practice the speech I'm going to give the van driver about what an idiot I am and my apologies etc. but before I can drop my window he's off in a cloud of wheelspin and dust still mouthing off at me.

    I have vowed to hunt this man down and explain I can reverse I was just being a complete and utter tit.
  5. Like
    ayd got a reaction from beko1987 in Confessions Corner? Forgive me Father for I can haz sins.   
    found myself in the unusual situation the other week of being in my Wife's 5 Series with no Wife and no Children so I flicked it over to tiptronic and proceeded to give it some beans down the back roads where we live.

    Inevitable happens and a van comes the other way, no bother as I've just passed a passing place so I'll flip it in to reverse and back up.

    The car will not go in to reverse...nothing I try will work, nudge it forward, nothing, say a little prayer...still nothing.
    In a split second the 'oh shit I've fucked the gearbox the Wife's going to kill me and I'm in this guys way what am I going to do?' comes over me.

    So I look up through the windscreen, and instead of mouthing : 

    'my apologies dear chap but it seems I'm having some issue with my gearbox and it won't let me select reverse, this is a new fault and hasn't happened before so would you mind awfully being a pal and backing up so I can continue to the garage to get it looked at and sorry for the inconvinence'

    I mouth : 'I can't reverse'

    So  Mr Van driver shakes his head and in a torrent of verbal abuse containing words like 'typical BMW drivers' and 'fu**ing c**t' begins to reverse some distance to the passing place much further up the road.

    Of course as soon as I pull off I realise the problem and being the thick twonk I am, the car is still in tiptronic therefore reverse isn't selectable.

    So as the van driver continues to reverse, I practice the speech I'm going to give the van driver about what an idiot I am and my apologies etc. but before I can drop my window he's off in a cloud of wheelspin and dust still mouthing off at me.

    I have vowed to hunt this man down and explain I can reverse I was just being a complete and utter tit.
  6. Like
    ayd got a reaction from DVee8 in Confessions Corner? Forgive me Father for I can haz sins.   
    found myself in the unusual situation the other week of being in my Wife's 5 Series with no Wife and no Children so I flicked it over to tiptronic and proceeded to give it some beans down the back roads where we live.

    Inevitable happens and a van comes the other way, no bother as I've just passed a passing place so I'll flip it in to reverse and back up.

    The car will not go in to reverse...nothing I try will work, nudge it forward, nothing, say a little prayer...still nothing.
    In a split second the 'oh shit I've fucked the gearbox the Wife's going to kill me and I'm in this guys way what am I going to do?' comes over me.

    So I look up through the windscreen, and instead of mouthing : 

    'my apologies dear chap but it seems I'm having some issue with my gearbox and it won't let me select reverse, this is a new fault and hasn't happened before so would you mind awfully being a pal and backing up so I can continue to the garage to get it looked at and sorry for the inconvinence'

    I mouth : 'I can't reverse'

    So  Mr Van driver shakes his head and in a torrent of verbal abuse containing words like 'typical BMW drivers' and 'fu**ing c**t' begins to reverse some distance to the passing place much further up the road.

    Of course as soon as I pull off I realise the problem and being the thick twonk I am, the car is still in tiptronic therefore reverse isn't selectable.

    So as the van driver continues to reverse, I practice the speech I'm going to give the van driver about what an idiot I am and my apologies etc. but before I can drop my window he's off in a cloud of wheelspin and dust still mouthing off at me.

    I have vowed to hunt this man down and explain I can reverse I was just being a complete and utter tit.
  7. Like
    ayd got a reaction from catsinthewelder in Confessions Corner? Forgive me Father for I can haz sins.   
    found myself in the unusual situation the other week of being in my Wife's 5 Series with no Wife and no Children so I flicked it over to tiptronic and proceeded to give it some beans down the back roads where we live.

    Inevitable happens and a van comes the other way, no bother as I've just passed a passing place so I'll flip it in to reverse and back up.

    The car will not go in to reverse...nothing I try will work, nudge it forward, nothing, say a little prayer...still nothing.
    In a split second the 'oh shit I've fucked the gearbox the Wife's going to kill me and I'm in this guys way what am I going to do?' comes over me.

    So I look up through the windscreen, and instead of mouthing : 

    'my apologies dear chap but it seems I'm having some issue with my gearbox and it won't let me select reverse, this is a new fault and hasn't happened before so would you mind awfully being a pal and backing up so I can continue to the garage to get it looked at and sorry for the inconvinence'

    I mouth : 'I can't reverse'

    So  Mr Van driver shakes his head and in a torrent of verbal abuse containing words like 'typical BMW drivers' and 'fu**ing c**t' begins to reverse some distance to the passing place much further up the road.

    Of course as soon as I pull off I realise the problem and being the thick twonk I am, the car is still in tiptronic therefore reverse isn't selectable.

    So as the van driver continues to reverse, I practice the speech I'm going to give the van driver about what an idiot I am and my apologies etc. but before I can drop my window he's off in a cloud of wheelspin and dust still mouthing off at me.

    I have vowed to hunt this man down and explain I can reverse I was just being a complete and utter tit.
  8. Like
    ayd got a reaction from dugong in Oh dear. *Carcraft alert*   
    Carcraft is ACE, I'm a big fan....You turn up, let the sales person do all their spiel and nod accordingly, hint at possible finance (this makes them even more helpful) test drive loads of different cars then fuck off and buy the one you like the most somewhere else.Saves wasting petrol trawling round all the dearlships and forecourts....plus you can blag a couple of brews out of them.
×
×
  • Create New...