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  1. found myself in the unusual situation the other week of being in my Wife's 5 Series with no Wife and no Children so I flicked it over to tiptronic and proceeded to give it some beans down the back roads where we live. Inevitable happens and a van comes the other way, no bother as I've just passed a passing place so I'll flip it in to reverse and back up. The car will not go in to reverse...nothing I try will work, nudge it forward, nothing, say a little prayer...still nothing. In a split second the 'oh shit I've fucked the gearbox the Wife's going to kill me and I'm in this guys way what am I going to do?' comes over me. So I look up through the windscreen, and instead of mouthing : 'my apologies dear chap but it seems I'm having some issue with my gearbox and it won't let me select reverse, this is a new fault and hasn't happened before so would you mind awfully being a pal and backing up so I can continue to the garage to get it looked at and sorry for the inconvinence' I mouth : 'I can't reverse' So Mr Van driver shakes his head and in a torrent of verbal abuse containing words like 'typical BMW drivers' and 'fu**ing c**t' begins to reverse some distance to the passing place much further up the road. Of course as soon as I pull off I realise the problem and being the thick twonk I am, the car is still in tiptronic therefore reverse isn't selectable. So as the van driver continues to reverse, I practice the speech I'm going to give the van driver about what an idiot I am and my apologies etc. but before I can drop my window he's off in a cloud of wheelspin and dust still mouthing off at me. I have vowed to hunt this man down and explain I can reverse I was just being a complete and utter tit.
  2. This is the one...I'm really not a fan of it
  3. Future Shite : most of the colours they insist on covering Fiat 500's in. oh and that metallic Orange colour they put on Freelanders
  4. ayd

    BMW E39 Starting Issues

    sorry it is a td and I wouldn't usually post somethiing like this on here but I've been on a lot of the BMW forums browsing similar issues and it just gets so confusing as to what it could / couldn't be> Just thought I'd post here as I know there's a level of knowledge and sensibleness to get a decent response. Oh and the AA man was wrong, not wiped the code for the key, just tried it and it fired straight up.
  5. continuation of my Facebook post about 'all modern cars are shite' rant and to paraphrase for those have haven't seen it.... Wifes E39 2.5 D wouldn't start, flat battery it seemed, AA came, jump started, fired up, ran for `5 minutes on tick over, turned it off, went to restart and it just cranked without firing. Many things were checked by Mr AA and his finaly diagnosis was that the key must have had the code wiped from it...quick trip to get the spare...car started, Wife came home, told to buy a new battery. Anyway today bought a new battery, fitted it, fired up, Wife popped to the shop. 20 mins later I get a call...it won't start...just cranking.....shit. 20 mins later again she calls, it's started, I'm on my way home, she arrives and says it wouldn't go above 20mph all the way home.* It ticks over fine, runs smoothly and no smoke when running. I've just been doing the rounds of google and have read everything from crank sensors, cam sensors, ignition switches, leaky injectors etc. but was wondering if anyone had any experience or could maybe shead any light ont his or is it a case of get it booked in and on to a diagnostic machine? Worrying thought on this is it seems others have had this problem and diagnostics have never shown anything up..... I've just been out to it now it's been sat outside for 20 mins and it started on the B of Bang so obviously something intermittent. * It does need the ATF changing and is booked in for this next week, this maybe why it's low on power as we lost the kick down last week and this week lost hard acceleration and can see nothing in the service history to see it's ever been changed.....level looks fine but I know the previous owner said he'd topped it up and wondering if he used the right fluid or even if that would have anything to do with it..... so any ideas or do I kiss my Xmas bonus goodbye?
  6. Got a 1999 Saab 9-5 2.0 SE that's just spat it's turbo. Fed up of costly repairs so it's going over the bridge. Before it does though I'm going to strip off some simple to remove parts and throw them on the bay....anyone on here need first dibs on anything? Can ship mainland UK too.
  7. ayd

    French cars ?

    still got a 1989 5 GT Turbo in full working (but off the road) order. I must admit though I don't see so many older Citroen's these days but that may be because every 2nd car I used to see was a Saxo when they offered them out years ago with Free Insurance and Tax.....
  8. ayd

    The grumpy thread

    EBAY : the amount of shill / zero feedback bidders on cars I want to buy. Puts me right off.
  9. Audi flew through its MOT today without a single advisory. Starting to consider buying a cheap 4x4 now
  10. ayd

    The grumpy thread

    whats that...you want to get an early start at work....let me ruin that for you and whilst is early and cold let me make you clear out the issue that caused this problem (there was a hell of a lot more of it too) and finally let me give you a little gift now go shower again and be late for work
  11. ayd

    The grumpy thread

    whats that...you want to get an early start at work....let me ruin that for you and whilst is early and cold let me make you clear out the issue that caused this problem (there was a hell of a lot more of it too) and finally let me give you a little gift now go shower again and be late for work
  12. a while ago my Brother gave my Mum his Alfa 147 as he no longer needed it, it needed a few jobs doing for it's MOT but as her 145 was getting a bit long in the tooth a deal was struck with the garage that they'd do the work on the 147 and put a fresh 12months MOT on it (around £700 worth) and in return she could just leave them her old 145 as payment and they'd break it for parts. (apparently the garage she uses is a bit of an alfa specialist or something). Anyway Mum was gutted as she loved her 145 but had to admit she'd prefer the newer 147 so the deal was done. It never sat well with my Mum as we are a car loving family and she'd often talk about it on phhone calls to me etc. Just been up North for their Golden Wedding Anniversary and she handed me a letter. It was from a chap not to far from where I now live saying he'd bought the car from the garage and was going to restore it with his 2 sons. She was over the moon and so pleased it hadn't been stripped and killed off. I'm not sure if she was happier about the family get together for her Anniversary or that the car was safe and sound.
  13. apologies for crap quality 1995 Audi A4 Dash with some dash lights not working. Center Console part of Dash 2000 Saab 9-5 Close up Center Console part of Dash with common display fault The Infamous Night Panel Button
  14. this ^ and 'Will fly through an MOT no problem'
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