Jazoli

Sorry dude. Must have missed you. You should have a pm now.

I give you the Renault Vel Satis. For £500 – or less! – you can enjoy all the time-consuming hardship of classic car ownership but none of the driving pleasure.
 I bought this for £875 before Christmas, suffering the delusion that I was the one soul on earth who wanted a right-hand drive Vel Satis. I realised I was wrong on the way home from Newport to Cirencester. It seems I’m just like everybody else, after all. I had no idea how appallingly over-assisted and under-engaging modern cars have become. I can barely drive it. It’s festered for the past four months with two small but debilitating issues that, due to a lack of motivation, have taken ages to track down and remedy. The first was a ruptured intercooler hose, repaired to beyond factory specification using Volga M21 radiator hose. The second was a furry throttle position sensor, revived by vigorously titillating its carbon tracks with contact cleaner. As far as I can tell from thrashing it repeatedly up and down the lane outside my workshop, it’s now functional. I have absolutely no inclination to splash out on road tax and take it further afield. It clearly needs a better owner. It’s a 2.0-litre turbo petrol manual. It currently appears capable of functioning in a car-like way. Being a Vel Satis, though, it’s only a matter of time before something pitiful fails and renders it undriveable while you spend weeks enjoying internet forums, probing sensors and waking up in the middle of the night thinking of little black plastic boxes with mysterious tendrils. It’s MoT’d until August. It’s done 157,000 miles, but it’s been maintained to an impeccable standard by a skilled Renault enthusiast for the last 130,000. This is all documented. It’s in fine condition. The interior’s very good – and the exterior has nothing worse than a few tiny scuffs and aluminium warts. It’s benefitted from many recent new parts, including a timing belt and tensioner, tyres, battery, ABS pump, water pump, alternator, turbo, brake discs and pads. It comes with various spares and a terrifyingly heavy manual. Current problems:- Radio and sat nav aren’t working.- The tyre pressure sensors were removed rather than replaced at the last tyre change and it bitches on about this constantly.- It intermittently reports an EPS error, which the previous owner was 95% sure he’d tracked to a rear wheel sensor.- Renault Vel Satis It’s near Cirencester. There’s no obvious reason you couldn’t tax it and drive it home… other than it being a Renault Vel Satis. Don’t all rush at once. Sam       

I'm surprised there arent more obvious grooves in the tarmac, from all the DRAGGED KNUCKLES.

Fed up of the look of your Vivaro van?
Want it to (try) look like a H van of yesteryear?
Step this way.....

I think it needs a couple more Ford badges, you know just in case someone doesn't know what it is

I think it needs a couple more Ford badges, you know just in case someone doesn't know what it is

Not done much bike riding or bike related stuff this week after 500 miles on the bike last weekend and not being able to walk properly for a week and it aggravating all my old injuries, I think my time with sportsbikes is coming to an end, I fitted a quickshifter today for the hell of it but can't be arsed riding it at all, shame really as it was/is my dream bike, I think a street triple may well be on the cards in the non too distant future.
 
 
 
That will sell easily at that price, its not my cup of tea but there are plenty of camouflage trouser and hoodie wearing folk who like that sort of bike
 
 
 
Yes, stand on the left hand side of the bike with the bike on its sidestand, turn the bars all the way to the right then pull on the right bar to lift the wheel off the ground by pivoting the bike on the sidestand, its really easy to do, obviously you can't check the wheel yourself whilst doing this but someone else can, or lift the bike, it doesn't require a great deal of strength

I think it needs a couple more Ford badges, you know just in case someone doesn't know what it is

I'll have a random then, pas or not

I think it needs a couple more Ford badges, you know just in case someone doesn't know what it is

Seldom, but proven possible.
 
 
Has it fuck.  Just add three shredded wheat.

Oh is it a ford ? I thought it was an insignia 😄

I think it's a focus, but my eyes won't cause of the glarey red bits

Has this fine steed of many miles per pound got hydraulic assistance for the tiller?

I think it needs a couple more Ford badges, you know just in case someone doesn't know what it is

If the light does not illuminate its not a fail, just an advisory, therefore a bit of tape over the offending light or bulb removal or disconnection will see an mot granted.

If the light does not illuminate its not a fail, just an advisory, therefore a bit of tape over the offending light or bulb removal or disconnection will see an mot granted.

If the light does not illuminate its not a fail, just an advisory, therefore a bit of tape over the offending light or bulb removal or disconnection will see an mot granted.

Retired Ambulance with 5 pot 200bhp 3.2 diesel. I'd no idea Transit's came with that engine. Racey
 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/campervans-motorhomes/ford-transit-ambulance-3.2-tdci-200-bhp-2010-60-reg-/1228528887

Finally got my 14 back together & running etc. Taxed it & will be taking it out tomorrow to see if I can remember how to ride. Then it's going to work every day with a diversion tues morning for a MOT as it runs out on weds.

3 and 17 please, never been to Devon.

Scotoilers are great. After many a shafty, my last despatch steed was a brand new 2002 SV650. Fitted a Scotoiler and the behind the number plate touring reservior and topped it up about every 4k. Did 27000 miles in 9 months, stopped despatching and did another 3k in 9 months. Sold at 30k with the original chain that still had plenty of adjustment left. Estimate I could of got to 50k out of the chain.
 
If I were to manually lube a chain under those conditions, I'd be lubing the fucking thing morning, noon and night!
 

DSCF0001 by E Honda, on Flickr
 
 

I would have got the new chain n sprockets fitted today but it turns out when ordering loads of random parts over a couple of months I forgot one bit. The dust cover for the sprocket carrier bearing,,,,bugger!
 
 
Still for those clean pervs out there (Jazoli) I have turned this
 

 
Into this
 

 
The original wheel bearings are still perfectly smooth & have no play, it does make me laugh that I know people who change them at 10 or 20k because they 'must be worn by now' errr why?

Phew!  I was worried that this might actually get popular, but sanity has been restored.
 
 
17 and 22 now back on the market.
 
 
01 rainagain
02 The Moog
03 Old Bloke Next Door (price: two wings)
04 SiC
05 sporty-shite
06
07 Braddon81
08 timolloyd
09 dean36014
10 pompei
11 Insideimsmiling
12 The Moog
13 Rave
14 
15 Nyphur
16 Longblackcoat
17 
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19 purplebargeken
20 Nyphur
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22 
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24 purplebargeken
25
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28 rainagain
29
30 Longblackcoat
31
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36 Richard
37
38 
39 Fat_Pirate
40 Rave
41 purplebargeken
42 pompei  (for pompei junior - freeb)
43
44 SiC
45
46 phil_lihp
47 robinmasters
48 Fat_Pirate
49
50 Tamworthbay
51
52 pompei
53
54
55 Richard
56 BenHar
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59 Cavcraft (no such thing as a free Ginsters)