Jazoli

20 hours ago, alcyonecorporation said:

Spotted on the paypal emerald mine runt's x-rated shithouse (aka Twitter): 

That's my old blingo, gone up a bit in value

6 minutes ago, stuboy said:

spent an hour trying to get spare wheel back on the galaxy, well the rebult unit gets stuck and does fcuk all, mega pain in hands and wrists, said sod it slung wheel in the back and went in the house pissed off, hot, sweaty, greasey for a shower and pain meds...

Yup i know how you feel, just fitted new o/s front driveshaft and changed the gearbox oil on my daughters i20 on the drive, I hate working off the floor these days, too old and creaky and I'm only 50, I think my spannering days are now confined to jobs off the floor.

1 hour ago, Wack said:

Range rover fitted with the worst wheels I've ever seen , I can't imagine the driver has any fillings left in their teeth , has it even got tyres on it or is it rubber wrapped round like a cartwheel

Morons gotta moron

7 minutes ago, HillmanImp said:

The Audi threw its engine light the other day. 

Chucked my £20 code reader on. It said it was the throttle body.

Looked online, it was doing exactly the same as in this video, I'd just not heard it because of my playing my shit music too loud. 

Not sure why he asked his mate to have a wank at the end of the vid but each to their own. 

Anyhow, took off the throttle body. Its only 3 hex bolts and a hose clip, although one bolt is a bit awkward to get at and needs the dipstick removing to get access but isnt too bad. Once out, I cleaned it up, chucked it back in, did the relearn procedure but unfortunately it was still doing it. 

Rang up my sort of local motor factors (they're about 10 miles away but better than anything near me) and they said a new one was £435.

I went online and got one from Just German for £120.

As I'm taking it out, the next door neighbour comes over and starts talking to me about his car insurance. Fine, 5 minutes later I go back to the car to unclip the hose and get the throttle body out and lob in the new one. 

Unfortunately, as I stood next to the car, the hex bit that was in my screwdriver flew out and into the engine bay. 

Look under the car? No, search all the ledges on the engine? No. Shake the car and look on the floor again? No. 

It can't have gone down the dipstick can it? Thats a 1 in a million shot. Would it even fit? 

A rummage in my toolbox found a similarly sized allen key which I stuck down the pipe.

 

After a brief moment of excitement thinking that the reason it didn't go all the way down was because the tube got thinner, I realised that it was actually because it curved. 

Bugger, so it probably would fit. 

Still cant see it going down there though but I really dont have any choice but to check.

Another shake of the car and look underneath was fruitless, so I set about draining the oil. 

I lobbed under my 20 yr old oil pan and waited for the oil to all drain out, which it did. All 8.2 litres into my 7 litre (by my estimation of the overspill) pan. 

Fucking great. Wish I'd looked that up online before I started. Even the Jag had loads of wiggle room when draining its oil, just assumed I'd be fine. 

So I destroyed a few hand towels from the bathroom mopping up as much oil as i could under the car and another at the back of the car to stop it seeping further down the street. 

Thankfully the sump is easy to get at on this. No subframe or anything in the way. Just remove the 33 bolts any it should drop off. 

Unless of course its seemingly JB Welded on. Took about an hour of wrestling but it finally came off! Yay. 

Yup it definitely managed to go down the dipstick. 

What are the fucking chances? When the gods of astronomical odds were dealing out the anomalies, they could've let me win the lottery, but no I got that FFS. 

It was due an oil change anyhow but I'd have preferred to have done it another day TBH. 

And there we go, simple job, yeah. 

Wow, well done,  I think I'd have left it anyway unless there's no pickup strainer.

5 minutes ago, wesacosa said:

Sometimes it sucks being an old car fan.  The extension of the ULEZ scrappage con scheme means my 100k tatty Favorit is worth £2000 on the scrappage scheme.  All I have to do is fill in a form, send it off to the crusher and get a cheque for £2000 (don't even think I have to spend it on a car if I don't want).  Given the stress, misery and upset the ULEZ expansion has caused me over the last 10 months £2000 would be a nice bonus, plus I wouldn't have to worry about flogging the Favorit for a few hundred quid and all that entails

 

Yet I just can't do it 

You're a better man than I am, my application would be instantly in the post.

Does that mean that you can buy and insure and tax an old shed and repeat the process claiming another £2k?

I'm still getting Mot notifications for this and I saw it had failed, its such a nice interior in this car.

Probably be a lamba sensor at a guess, seen it on a couple of recent ish petrol vauxhalls.

1 hour ago, purplebargeken said:

Sick of work stupids and excessive amounts of fucking rain.

I'm just sick of fucking rain, constant incessant fucking rain, its shit, its rained almost every day here since the end of June, fuck English weather and fuck the Lake District, forecast is rain for the next 3 fucking weeks too, wish I could move back to Spain (although it's too fucking hot there)

3 hours ago, Bigman1207 said:

I may be returning to biking after a 30 year break and of course passing my module 1 and two a last year.  

Anyone have any experience of the following bikes these are massively on my watch list but concerned about size being six two and 18 stone

 

Honda blackbird

Yamaha fjr 1300

Yamaha fz1000 

 

Any advice on the above or other recommendation gladly sought,  budget is around 2k

 

Cheers in advance

 

I've owned all of them at some point, the FZS1000 ( I had 3) was the best in my opinion but there is nothing wrong with any of them, I'd buy the best condition one of any of them you can find which has had recent consumables as they are big heavy bikes and eat tyres and chains.

The FJR has the best weather protection, the blackbird is the best built and the FZS was the most fun, £2k should get you a reasonable example but be very choosy as they are all knocking on 20 years old for the earliest.

1 hour ago, SiC said:

Payday tomorrow. It's the time of the month where I see money flowing in and a surprising amount of money flowing out. 

£200 will go into thin air to pay for Boxster+TT road tax and 2 bays of storage. At least the £290 for the small loan I took on for Mrs SiC Civic (so cheap to have a loan that didn't make sense to go into savings) is paying off that asset. Insurance I pay as one lump yearly but that works out as an additional £100pcm.

So £300 as a minimum burning into fresh air on cars. Then parts + MOT + servicing to keep them running. I reckon £500 a month on cars. That's without the fuel.

Which is fine if I enjoyed them. But...

 - Boxster has done 1k miles this year. Maybe I'll hit 2k by the year out.

 - MGB hasn't moved a wheel this year at all. 

 - Spitfire is fun but hasn't moved in at least a month.

 - Midget I haven't done much on in the last few months

 - Dolomite moved to storage and I've not worked on in 2 years. This is taking up a £72pcm storage bay. 

That's not exact getting much fun out of what I'm spending the £6k a year or more on.

I think a fleet cull is going to happen very soon. The Boxster and MGB are at the front of the firing line. Both owned for 4+ years so had a lot of fun out of them. Possibly the TT as well, to save on car tax and get one modern for myself instead.

That £6k per year could go towards something automotive I would have a lot more fun with. Whether towards a decent loan for something more exotic or even something cheaper and sticking into traditional investments.

I did something similar,

Thirsty ageing E class - gone 

Depreciating Z900RS that did 1k a year - gone

Council garage rental - gone

old 207 runaround - gone

308CC 25mpg round town - gone

Saved me about 300/month in insurance/tax/depreciation

I bought a Volt and pay zero road tax and fuel for free at Sainsbury's mostly, not quite worked out what to do with the savings yet.

1 minute ago, Nyphur said:

Yeah agreed. The item I fitted isn't an aux jack. It connects directly into the aux input on the back of the head unit. So is a "nice hard wired kit", it just didn't cost £60+

I had to fit similar in my Volt, all singing all dancing car without BT streaming, they work really well, daughter has the same in her i20 which works equally as well.

Shameful I know but what is it? I have no idea these days and have only not owned a bike of some form for the last year.

That New Yorker is my neighbours car, its huge, and wakes everyone up when it's started.

Nice to see my old car with another happy owner 😊

1 hour ago, TheOtherStu said:

I'm probably going to regret this, but how does one buy tickets for these?

Search for Retroshite on FB, its all on there

https://retroshite.com/shite-giveaways/

52 minutes ago, grogee said:

This is a big clue and a big result. 

I will ask Mrs Grogee for a Woollard shot but I suspect it'll be a flat 'no' in which case I'll get @Cluffy to take a pic of uglybug me. 

It's a Corsa, unlucky :😀 

Had the aircon fixed on the RCZ last week, the pipe had rubbed through on the alternator pulley as some muppet had unclipped it (not me)

The blower was still a bit weak and after inspecting the cabin filter its no surprise 

it is now working much betterer.

57 minutes ago, RetroShite said:

 

Very yellow. Drives nicely enough apart from the squeaky brakes!

That's nice I had a white one of them back in the day.

The lack of updates and or info is worrying, is anyone actually 'in charge'?

9 minutes ago, stuboy said:

SiL looking for a replacement car, must automatic, budget of 1500 quid and medium sized..... think ive viewed 500 facebook market place, autotrader adverts,  all shes to find and likes are POS, wrecked and hidden write offs.

Best of luck with that autos are silly money these days, I was looking for something similar and found nothing at all worth buying.

On 6/22/2023 at 12:32 PM, bunglebus said:

Thats a shit plate, not a 'great' one, it makes no fucking sense.

Why is it going off all the time?

That pastry torch is hilarious, one step up from a fag lighter :😀 

They are ok but not as big in the rear as you think, decent to drive though, sump pickup seal replacement is a must and something to factor in when buying.

31 minutes ago, Split_Pin said:

Damn, just missed it

 

I didn't on Sunday

daughters i20, she was most put out and had been looking forwards to doing it herself.