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Everything posted by UmBongo

  1. Fiat Panda, no question about it. I think it was an 86 model in black with the collapsible hammock type back seat. It wasn't even a proper seat, FFS. Anyway, the final nail in the coffin came one horrible January day when trying to get to and from Glasgow for a football match. It was losing power on the way along London Road and eventually came to a complete stop. I was the passenger so I jumped out to push it as the tossers behind were impatiently tooting their horns. Honestly, you'd think they would be happy to stop and admire a classic piece of shite, but no, not them. As I jumped out, the door crashed against a passing lamp post, triggering some very nasty language from me. Somehow we made it to a street - imagine the Bronx around 1975 - off London Road, and we just dumped it and went to watch the game. Later in the evening, we emerged to find the Panda untouched, and every other car we passed seemed to have been broken into. How we made it home I don't know, but we did, albeit at speeds of around 20mph as we neared our destination. I think the calipers were seizing on and off because later a mechanic suggested we hit them with a hammer if the problem continued. Soon after, the car was sold to a friend of the family who never mentioned any problems, and said it was a great car!
  2. Wow, so more special editions were spawned, eh? I wish I could find a picture of the Nissan ones.
  3. My Dad was at a Fiat dealer browsing (ie wasting their time) some years ago, when an irate old geez turned up in a Chinkychenko. The service guy asked how he could be of assistance and was met with a massive rant something along the lines of, ''You can help by giving me a refund on that fucking piece of shit out there...'' etc etc. I don't think he was too happy with his newly purchased Italian style-monster.
  4. Ha! No. Mobutu Sese Seko invited me to come over on Concorde once, but I politely declined. I was washing my hair that week.
  5. My Dad used a Kia Pride as a driving school car in the early 1990s, the one with the whitewall tyres. It was diabolical.
  6. Do any 'och aye the noo' shiters remember the car dealership in Meadowbank which closed and was replaced by a McDonalds, purveyor of health-tastic salads? I think it was a Belmont dealership and they sold Datsuns then Nissans. Anyway, they came up with a Commonwealth Games 1986 special edition Sunny or Cherry. It was special because it had stickers on it... I just remember passing one parked outside and it looked incredibly naff even when new. I think there was a Bluebird, too.
  7. UmBongo

    Road Trip

    Thanks. The LPT I had was a great car up to a point. Used to love it when the turbo kicked in.
  8. Go for the Lupo, if only because of the dog-puke green colour scheme.
  9. I'm getting that effect too and I posted the things, no idea why.
  10. Some retrospective pics. You can always find a Beetle... WTF? Droopy Drawers Nice Volvo. Jap Crap but I like Jap Crap. Mark 2 porn. I laughed but the owner was a nice and optimistic guy. I think he made it home. The flyer was an advert for number plates. My neighbour had a white one of these years ago. He painted his bathroom to look like the ocean...complete with fish. 2200 cc of pure power. Welsh dragon DIY shite that I like muchly.
  11. Aye, Biggar 2012. I'll start a new thread.
  12. I liked the way that the top Ewings like J.R all had Mercs with number plates Ewing 1, Ewing 2 etc.
  13. UmBongo

    Road Trip

    Lol, maybe I should change my location, Shitland is just Scotland.
  14. Great for stubbing out your fags, though.
  15. Does anyone remember that episode of Minder where Arfur got his feeble-minded mechanic to bodge up the front wing on a BL something-or-other and the idiot used mud? Anyway, the buyer returned none too happy, with grass growing from said wing.
  16. Hilarious and I laughed at the RX7 wheels falling off malarky, too.
  17. Some pics for your delectation. Nice Astra, and for sale, too. I've always liked these Suzukis. Rare now as most of them turned to dust. A big red thing...and a Mach 1! You can always find an elderly, jaded Beetle in the car park. ...and a Mini of some description. Nissan Silvia Auto by the Japanese. A cute van. I always smile when I see this...and I see it every year.
  18. I love these. Years ago, my cousin had one and his pals always gave him stick for having an old motor. He sold it and bought a nearly new Sierra...wah wah wah wah...
  19. UmBongo

    Road Trip

    Mega miles, overpriced and some strange clunking noises. Maybe just a wee bit risky.
  20. UmBongo

    Road Trip

    My little brother has been after a Saab 900 for a while now, and had spotted one for sale on a Saab owner's club forum recently. We both owned two 900s around the late nineties and he wanted to relive this period of car ownership. I'm not sure why, because latterly, one of these, a 1991 900 LPT in Le Mans Blue, became a real money pit before it was scrapped around ten years ago. Anyway, he persuaded me to accompany him to Lincolnshire to look at this thing, a round trip of 600+ miles, no less. The thing in question was a 1993 T16s that had been stuck in a garage for three years since it's owner had passed away. Now, we were going via Hull, because he wanted to look at a Carlsson on the way down. So we set off from a fairly dank Shitland at five in the morning, the car fully laden with a flask of stewed tea (his doing) and some gourmet goodies for breakfast and lunch. Off we pootled down the A68 through the Borders, Northumberland and Durham and then to Scotch Corner for a 'rest break'. I have to say while driving through dawn and beyond, that the scenery and towns we passed through on this stretch were very easy on the eye. But what has happened to Scotch Corner? All I could see was a generic service station, car park and the usual litter floating around said car park - not very impressive. We carried on through Yorkshire via the A1, driving through York to see the Minster and whatnot, then on to Hull to check out the Carlsson. After a fairly ordinary test drive, my bruv told the vendor that he would 'think about it as he had another car to see'. A wise decision, methinks, but you can judge for yourself by looking at these shitepics. Elderly MR2 in background - also for sale. The Humber Bridge for some local colour - it's really impressive. The local Neds were hitting golf balls into the water with no hope of retrieval, the crazy young bastards! Anyway, onwards and Southwards we travelled, on the A15 via Lincoln and Sleaford to our final destination. The land was very flat and we passed numerous airbases on this part of the journey, after all, we are 'Air Strip One', quote courtesy of Eric Blair, circa 1948. We were met by a very pleasant old chap who was acting on behalf of the owner's estate and taken to the car which was in a very secluded and quiet area just off the A1. The T16s was advertised at £1200 but my brother had already been advised he could have it for £1000. It had not been started for around three years and the old chap had tried charging the battery, but to no avail. However, we were assured the car had 'wanted for nothing' and it had a very extensive history file, and the owner had a very interesting history, too. However, the car looked good, and even came with a Saab first-aid attached to the parcel shelf, Saab floor mats and all the original manuals etc. Now, I am a sucker for that kind of associated stuff as I am a completist. My bruv also liked this aspect of the car. So, to cut a long story short, we agreed the deal and the vendor said we could have anything car related from the garage as it was all going to be thrown out!!! Some mad scrambling for cans of petrol, wax oil and other shite thus ensued, lol. We also found some original Saab headlamp protectors...oooh and an old catalytic convertor...aaah. The sale secured, we thanked the vendor and exited stage left onto the A1 and back to Shitland for a very late cup of tea or two. Here are the best pictures I could get while the car was ensconsed in it's womb-like garage. Note the foglamps, usually missing. You can see the first-aid kit in this one. The car has been trailered up to Shitland and is currently in a top secret location being prepared for it's first MOT in three years. Watch this space for further updates - if I can be bothered, ha!
  21. I'm strangely drawn to this, but then I was dropped on my head when I were a young child.
  22. A woman at work has an intermittent fault with her steering and was quoted £1200 to repair it. I pointed her in WBAC's direction...
  23. I like the blue Austin in the - one of many - car parks in Livi centre. Also, the Volvo 340 is parked as far to the left as he can, yet some arsehole has still parked too close to it. Well, that's what it looks like to me.
  24. Pray tell, is that hearing aid beige? I used to love seeing cars in that colour back in the day.
  25. Hello, I recently discovered this website and it's the best antidote for a crappy day at work I've found yet. So, as a new recruit, I ask, can anything be classed as Autoshite, or are there any rules for inclusion? Thanks in advance for any amusing answers.
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