Tickman

So in a very unsurprising sideways step, today is the day I collect my Nu car! A Citroen ZX MK2, better known as a Xsara! 
Sit rep: sat drinking tea waiting for @Six-cylinder to arrive who is very kindly coming along for the ride, and to drive the xsara home as he popped it on his insurance for the day!
Mr @Talbot reports that the xsara drove perfectly into his work this morning after a few weeks sat in a garage, and that's about all you really want from an car! 

So, with the replacement due today, I got out and cleared the zx out. I removed my pioneer headunit, and unwired the mic and dab aerial, and fitted the cheap Chinese headunit the car came with, which apparently cost @bub2006 £13 whole quid

I then tested a miele I got working last night by thoroughly vacuuming the inside as it was minging

Miele didn't explode so ill call that a win, and the car is nice and tidy inside now! Outside can fro though, it's winter after all! 

Where to begin? Long before storm Dennis was a thing I’d planned to take my lads on a road trip-Tavistock-Bolton(parents)-IWM DUXFORD (planes galore)- longleat safari park and back to tavistock with a B &B over a few nights en route.
What car to take?
Modus- noisy gearbox in 3/4/5 and a bit of an annoying initial flat spot occasionally from low revs. Otherwise seemed fine (!)
mondeo- sometimes the starter will spin but not engage, rocking it in gear sorts it. Drivers window taped up. Neither of which was ideal in a safari park.
So we took the modus. The less* flakey option.
Off we drove through massive wind and rain and the modus handled it well, right until in rural Cambridgeshire when the Brakes failed. No pedal pressure, and an ever more noisy gearbox.  No breakdown cover either. And thanks to the unique way the modus is packaged @SiC I could not find evidence of anything brake related under the bonnet  (I foolishly expected to find a fluid reservoir, silly me)
Had the car been worth more and without a potentially game ending problem brewing on the horizon already (the ever more noisy gearbox) things may have been more complex. As it was I decided pretty much on the spot that I needed to ditch it.
2 kids, very far from home and a steaming shit pile of a car. Using an e bay search centred on the imperial war museum Duxford (where id managed to limp it) I found the most local cheapy I  could. Specifically a trader who would accept the dead car ahead of me sending the v5  via picture message once I got home. Would they exist within limping distance? A certain level of luck, and trust on their behalf saw me leave rural Cambridgeshire later that morning with a far more likeable car.
 
Even discounting the gearbox not sounding like a coffee grinder, and having actual brakes; it’s just nicer to be in than that modus. Im usually quite mechanically sympathetic but I got a certain about of satisfaction from bouncing it off the Rev limiter in second and ramming the brakes/ handbrake on as I limped it over to the vendors.
 
So to the new jalopy. It’s done a genuine 57k and is a 1.6 k series. Normally that would feel risky but not after the steaming shit pile of a modus I’ve gladly left behind. To paraphrase an ad; I’m relaxing (as it’s a rover)

Last rites. (Taken a month earlier but prophetic)

There are worse places to have a car die.




 

Half 12 and the triage man arrives...
 
"I had to Google this 'cos I didn't know what it was!"
"Well, mechanically it's a 2CV if that's any help?"
"Only ever seen those on the telly"
[I open the bonnet. He looks quizzically into the void]
"Fuel pump, yeh? [pauses for thought] So you just want it recovering home then?"
"Yes, please"
"I'll ring them now"
?
 

Coil OK? I got into the habit of carrying a spare one in my 2CV.
Not sure if Ami is the same, but the coil is very exposed to dampness on the 2CV and any cracks in the casing could let water in. You might see it sparking in the dark.
I discovered this trying to optimistically overtake 2 HGVs in the fast lane of the M6 for Double HGV Super Bonus. Being the M6 it was raining heavily.
As you say, when you only have two cylinders, a misfire can be quite dramatic.

This looks awesome! This would be a perfect excuse to get the mini out of the garage!! 

Home and fed, what a great day!
I'm glad you took loads of pictures, Will, coz I didn't. I took a couple of shit videos but I can't get them to play on the laptop, so bollox to 'em.
Snagglepuss: Offering his car to internet randomers for a day's  racing? - What a legend! Thank you so much Will. I'd love to do it again given the chance, and repaying the favour by using a car of mine next time.
And everyone there were helpful and welcoming, the organisers, the competitors, and all the other helpers, so I highly recommend any other newbies to come along too next time. I can't think of a cheaper way to have so much fun!

Had a go at making the craquelure paint go evenly across a fairly big panel. Worked well apart from one but that refuses to go right, typical.
Pulled off and washed the original grill cloth where the speaker goes, what was left of it.

Have found a reproduction of that exact pattern so ordered a piece to go in. Getting somewhere with this now.
 
Phil

One like this?

One like this?

One like this?

Got a wee bit done today-removed the non matching flanges from the cat and the centre section. These have been chopped off and will be linked together with another double clamp. I also welded* the join to the section I added.
I went on a scrappy mission yesterday, more for interior fittings as the load bay was totally bare.
It went from this 

To this

Cage behind the driver's seat which I'll use to make the bulkhead
Floor liner
Side trims
Racking with adjustable tie downs along the sides above the new trim
I've also got an overhead cubby to fit too for above the windscreen. 
I picked up some spares from a Clio 182 too, injectors (I learned with my last one...), throttle body and upper inlet manifold to give a lick of paint. 
I wasn't lying under it in this wind to fit the exhaust so that can wait...

I think @hairnet is trying to say politely is I am too fat for a Smart car - but I fit just fine
37k miles and very clean with a MOT to September. A couple of niggles to sort but it will do me fine!

One like this?

After a fairly successful morning upgrading the garage's solar power system, I decided to have a go at the Aixam. The aim of today's session was to definitively isolate the power from the engine end of the car, in a real and definitive way totally unlike the way that the main isolator switch fails to do.
 
This job necessitates the removal of the front seats. Well, that can't be too hard, can it? WRONG. The runners are bolted to the inner sills without the benefit of captive nuts, so the whole lot just turns. Helpful. You can't unbolt the seats from the runners either. Yes, that's right - Aixam really did build the whole fucking car around the front seats ?
 
Much sitting around variously swearing, tutting and muttering led me to the only possible way of getting the seats out: if you push them far enough forward they should just fall off. Well, not *just* fall off, they'll need a good shove against the dash, because the runners are, helpfully*, that bit too long. None of this was helped by the fact that the runners were as dry as a nun's twat and were all but seized in place. Eventually, after much pulling, pushing, kicking, grunting and swearing they came off.
 
This was achieved at some cost, you can see from this photo how the seat runners have been 'flared' as a result of all this. The car is made with everything at the lowerst tolerance they could get away with. Granted, that's for obvious reasons particularly with this electric variant, but it doesn't make it any less of a ballache to work with. I'll straighten those some other time.
 

 
By the time I'd disconnected all the power lines from the battery pack (and carefully labelled them all, natch) I'd had more than enough for one day.
 

 
In other news the BX trundles ever onwards. The washers failed last week, thanks to a build up of rust in the washer jet that runs through the boss of the wiper spindle. A straightened paper clip and a good clean of the length of hose between the tank and the nozzle fixed that. Unbelievably, MOT time is starting to creep into view (early March)!
 
The Ami is still rattling along in its own, inimitable style; now with the added benefit of yellow headlights!
 

 

One like this?

Prior to collecting the Frenchie, Ciara had done this.

£27 pounds and three days later, this arrived.

So as the weather seemed pretty mild* this afternoon I figured I’d get out there and get the whole window situation resolved.
Also an excuse to test my absurd quantity of Aldi birthday screwdrivers, collapsy front seat makes excellent bench.


First  job was actually pushing and steering the ungrateful bastard into a position so I could get proper access to the door as a week and bit of doing nothing had drained the battery so it wouldn’t start.
Once done, sniffing around the door a few screws and studs were spotted but the arm required YouTube and a lot of swearing, its a spring to pop off the top but it was stiff as and required lots of shouting and screaming and I nicked the vinyl  as it finally came out.

Door off and a bit of head scratching, then decided to unbolt the window guide and lever it over so I could the quarter light in.

Pulling down the bar a bit didn’t give me enough room so I pulled more and revealed a random screw hole with no screw in it and found the screw under the door seal.

Unconcerned* it was turning into one of those ‘it’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better’ jobs, I rolled down the window more and twisted the bar out of the way to get the window in and then just had to get the main window back into the guides.

Took a bit of brute force to get enough of it back in and then wind it down to guide the rest in. Total fluke I left the window halfway down and not at the bottom or that would have been a twat and meant doing it again.

Found a gap on the outside and after looking around, found a random little clip on the floor, required a bit of persuading to fit back in, should have added it before the windows but hey ho.

Assembly reverse of taking apart, minus swearing, etc. Amazingly for such an old beater, it didn’t even snap a single door clip.
Picked out the nick in the vinyl and dabbed over with a spot of superglue to stop it getting any worse and then cleaned the scrappers marker off the window.


Buoyed by success, I took the White Mazda remote apart, tested the contacts with a screwdriver to lock/unlock and used some professional contact cleaner (ok it was a baby wipe) to clean the contacts and now the remote is fully functioning so double victory today, assuming it restarts when the battery has finished charging of course...

With a few things on the horizon, I finally have been able to clear my bench and stick my old boss's 1932 Zenith radio back on it. 

First up, the sheet metal for the lid. Rubbed back to bare and wiped down.

And painted matte black. I'm thinking that I should maybe have another run at craquelure paint. Experiments will follow on an old piece of steel.

The old volume dial was no longer the resistance it should have been, so the only options you had were LOUD and STUPIDLY LOUD. It now dials down to correctly quiet.

However, the retaining bush and neck didn't fit the new volume control (metric) so a little imaginative work had to occur.

Tapped a thread down the middle of the old control's mounting lug

That screwed on as a sleeve, was then shortened and a slot cut in to the shaft for the extension that sticks out the front of the radio.

It all fits and works properly. Next up I want to get a solid state vibrator for it because the one it has is too bloody noisy- that and after a little work it still functions so it'll be nice to be able to save it because new ones aren't available.
Then re-plate all the tube covers like the one in the last photo, finish up the last few bits of the circuit that need work, get some cotton covered cloth to replace the wire that goes to the tube top caps and get it all aligned.
Well overdue 
 
Phil

Another days autotesting with Krujoe.

Steed of choice


Hairnet was seen in the vicinity.

Drivers briefing


Most of the entries were Micra shaped


Waiting for Joe to set his times

Cars


We had a really interesting day including trying to solve the fuel starvation when enthusiastically cornering.

Best if all Joe brought cake and gave me some to take home. Missus snagglepuss says I can have more friends like Joe!

The Micra acquired itself perfectly - it perhaps would have benefitted from PAS.


Can't wait till next time.

One like this?

One like this?

One like this?

No. not American!
Heavy snow delayed plans this morning, but it has now cleared. Too late for breakfast, but have an elevensies shot taken with my potatocam. Going to drink my coffee then head off to pick up a friend to drive the Modus back. Only 20 miles away, so not an exciting kolleckshun.

Back home last night after a couple of weeks back at work in Stavanger, determined* that the shite collection has to be reduced as I am going to have a lot less free time for the foreseeable future. This happy state of mind lasted for very nearly 24 hours. Due to the weather I could not face outside so went to see @kinkersaab of this parish to drink his tea, and maybe even be offered a biscuit.  I went over in the recently acquired Renault Modus which despite being brilliant, I have not warmed to, and on arrival I was relieved to see "Compost Corner" was empty and saddened to see the biscuit tin in the same state. Mr Kinker however had other plans for my resolution and my wallet and took me into the back (ooo errr) and promptly showed me some prime shite with the words, saw it was Left Hand Drive and thought of you. I refused a test drive as it was raining and to limit my wantage, but took a seat in it. Started it up, as you do, at which point Mr Kinker opened the workshop door so I was obliged to take the previously refused test drive.
These cunning sales tactics worked like a charm, as he knew it would, and on my return a deal was done and I kollect tomorrow. Bugger*
Got home to see a missed call on my answering machine. I phoned my friend back. I now have another car to kollect this week, although this one will require the trailer. Bugger* Squared.
This does mean that I have an excuse to move the Modus on, so a for sale advert is coming up. Tomorrows kollectee is a bit modern for me, like anything post steam era, and was actually made this millenium. Always fancied one but the complexity of the badermatic transmission has always put me off, but what the hell! Details tomorrow.