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Sigmund Fraud

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Sigmund Fraud last won the day on March 26 2017

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About Sigmund Fraud

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    Unlicenced Phrenologist

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  1. Gear selection issue can be fixed with a simple linkage alignment. Whine in 5th means the box has been run low on gear oil and the 5th gear cluster is damaged. Top it up and keep running it until it breaks (which it unfortunately will).
  2. Time for another update from Chez Fraud ! With Mrs F's Polo fully MoT'd and (finally) working as intended, the 206 became surplus to requirements. Mr Castro was happy to have it back, so it returned to his custody ! And with the ex-HMC crusty Merc having taken over family car duties, the GM900 also needed to go. Here it is, in all its beige glory : After being advertised on here, and unsuccessfully auctioned on eBay, I was really pleased that fellow shitter and serial SAAB owner simon8201 stepped in and gave it a new home ! Finding time for car stuff has been difficult over the previous weeks, but I did manage to spend a couple of hours in my workshop last weekend, which I used to properly inspect the bodywork of my crusty Merc. Elegance my arse ! Both front wings need repairs, with the nearside one ideally needing replacement. One of the rear arches needs a bit of paint but is saveable. The wells behind the wheels on both sides of the boot floor (do those bits have a proper name ?) are completely buggered and need extensive repairs. But none of the above are structural. Unlike this : Mercedes engineers made sure that this crossmember is protected* by a fairly deep undertray with poor drainage. The undertray ensures the crossmember is kept immersed in water for prolonged periods of time, as this is clearly* the best way to protect it from corrosion. The undertray also makes this area completely invisible to MoT testers, which is why the crusty Merc passed its most recent test with no corrosion-related advisories at all. FFS ! Thankfully, this was the only structural rust I found, which for a car with the W210s reputation is a pretty good result ! So a large piece of 2mm plate is on order, and the next update will hopefully include some XXX-rated hot welding action for your viewing pleasure.
  3. Looks like it belongs to an Alfa 105 Berlina... Was it marked as "Carello" ? If so, it's worth far more than the sticker price !
  4. Heater matrix ? Check your carpets !
  5. Absolutely love your optimistic approach to shite buying !!! R5s are really nice to drive, in the traditional French way that offers both great handling and excellent comfort. They love to rust, so check it carefully and, if no welding is needed, pump it full of waxoyl to preserve it. Cleon engines are also prone to OMGHGF if they've been sitting for long, so keep an eye on the temperature sensor...
  6. "Liked" because the forum software lacks the essential "I see what you did there" button 😁
  7. I don't think we should blame the press for this one ; Citroen themselves marketed it as hydropneumatic :
  8. Probably debris in the hydraulic system ; clearances are really tight in there. Take the filters out of the LHM reservoir and give them a clean, then do some Citro-bics to circulate the fluid around. If it's a keeper, treat it to some Hydraflush. If not, don't worry about it !
  9. You were indeed ! The only way to tell if a LeMans is a DB or a Rene Bonnet is to check the engine (Panhard in the former, Renault in the latter).
  10. That's much better than I expected ! Are the brakes up to stopping from such high* speeds, when a distracted/rude/drunk (delete as appropriate) Frenchman cuts you up ? Also, we need more pictures of the oily bits, please !
  11. Splendid work ! What's the cruising speed like ?
  12. Time for another update from FRAUD GARAGES ! After weeks months years of procrastination, the Doloshite was finally put up for sale : It was purchased by fellow 'shitter GaryCox, who immediately pressed it into daily use ! Old cars need to be driven to keep healthy, so I'm really pleased that the Doloshite has found such a good home ! The Ignis has now completed 26K miles in my hands and simply soldiers on, like the Duracell bunny ! The rear tyres were a pair of aging Falkens that had been there since I bought the car. They had marginally more tread than the legal limit but looked terribly dry and cracked, so I decided to splash out on a new pair. Tyreleader was consulted, and I once again went for the cheapest not-entirely-unknown brand available. This time it was Debica, Poland's premier* tyre manufacturer : My first impressions are really positive, as they seem to inspire more confidence in the wet than the Nankangs they replaced (that have now moved to the rear axle). Mrs F's Polo of DOOM was put back into daily use in early April. One week later, I received a panicked phonecall explaining it was refusing to start ! ARGH ! I was 100 miles away, so the breakdown assistance had to be called. They attended promptly, diagnosed a faulty ignition switch (yet another common 1990s VW problem) and hotwired the car so she could drive it back home. The ignition switch is a £15 part, but replacing it is an annoying, fiddly task so the job was farmed out to the local garage. Bloody car ! I must confess I'm really looking forward to the day I'll drive it over Richard Noon's weighbridge... But that day has not arrived, as it sailed through its MoT last week, so I'll have to endure the temperamental shiteheap for yet another year. The Flying Bathtub also passed its MoT without issue, but continues to require plenty of de-snagging. Watch this space ! Now... I have had the ScAAB for over two years, and it's been a brilliant car. It's reliable, really comfortable over long distances, and very practical thanks to its hatchback and towbar. A slightly bigger car would have been better suited to my needs, though, especially an estate. An automatic gearbox would have also been nice to have. So I would occasionally have a look at 9-5s and W210s on ebay, but everything in my (sub-£500) price range seemed completely worn out. So there were no plans for me to replace the ScAAB anytime soon. Then, one day, as I was reading through fellow 'shitter HMC's automotive exploits I noticed he had a nice old W210 for sale at a price I really couldn't ignore. PMs were exchanged, and the following weekend I collected the car from sunny, posh south Devon and drove it back to a rather cloudy, far-less-posh rural Hampshire. The car was lovely to drive and the low-mileage V6 was sweeter than a sugar-coated kitten : But previous giffer ownership meant the exterior was full of dents and scrapes and the light-coloured interior had not been cleaned in several years. Now, I've bought some really grubby cars in my time, but the dirt in this car had to be seen to be believed. Nothing that some elbow grease and Autoglym's magic potions couldn't fix, though : Mmmm... That's what I'm talking about ! To make sure the interior smelt as fresh as it looked, a new pollen filter was installed : And I also decided that the factory "Audio 10" cassette player had to be replaced with something more modern : A quick inspection of the bodywork revealed a multitude of issues, which I will need to address in the following months... All part of the German quality* car experience, eh ? Here's the rusty old tank, next to some slightly less rusty old tanks :
  13. My daily would have been an aging, Japanese faux-off-roader... Something like the Hope(less)Star ON360 : Family car duties would have been entrusted to a crusty old Mercedes estate :
  14. AS calendar picture, surely ?
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