Conrad D. Conelrad

£14,245: Ford Fiesta 1.0T EcoBoost 100 Zetec 5 Door
"with a turbocharged three-cylinder petrol engine that makes it better still, and gives low running costs thanks to CO2 emissions of 99g/km and a claimed average of 65.7mpg" (What Car Magazine, February 2013)
 
£13,995:  

 
"Fuck yeah!" (everybody, always)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Out-of-place_artifact

Yesssss!!!!111!!1!!!!2!!3!!!9!
 
And I found it!

Look, this Clubman is growing its own replacement wood trim. 

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Out-of-place_artifact

Cambelts running in oil should, in theory, last as long as a chain. I don't know what Ford's change interval is for the wet belt engines. Obviously the belts themselves are not susceptible to oil contamination!

Fitted a new starter motor to the 306 dizzler, as the other one was failing to proceed every now and then. One ecp special and now it turns over at 4x the earths rotational speed, which is good.
 
It's still leaking oil and I reckon it's from the rocker cover, even though I changed it a month or so back so shelled out for a pukka pug one, it fits better and was just 'nice' so we will see.
 

 
My glamorous assistant wasn't much help, she kept coming to me and running off, like she wanted to show me something, probably a little boy had fell down a well or summat.

Look, this Clubman is growing its own replacement wood trim. 

Dave's bought another float for the foredeck and spent quite a lot of money at the boat jumble last weekend, I gather that he's done a bit more interior work in the fore cabin further progress has been frustrated by the purchase of multiple stoves... I'll have to get Dave write a catch up post at some point! 
Edit: I also forgot there is a plan to acquire a spares boat....

We have a little more progress on the Lancia. I'm hoping to have an MOT on it before the end of the Month.
 
I'm currently in the process of rebuilding the front suspension, which is about as rusty as the rest of the car and so everything is ceased, which is fun.
Here's what the front suspension looks like, a fairly standard set up The anti-roll bar has already been removed at this point (mitts off you Panda owners)

And here it is removed on the other side, eventually. Of course I managed to rip a CV boot and pull the drive shaft out of the gearbox so it poured its oil all over the drive and generally smells like Satan's piss.

Now in a thrilling turn of events that I cannot imagine any of you were expecting, here's the suspension in bits on my garage floor:

I have started cleaning these up, de-rusting and painting all the various components. It will have new shocks, springs, track control arms, track rod ends, ball joints, ARB bushes, brake hoses, brake pads and discs. It's going to be a fairly comprehensive rebuild all round.

Once this is all painted and back together on the car, I'll make a start on the other side. While I've been waiting for paint to dry I have been working on fabricating the passenger sill and cutting out the un-needed metal on the car so that this new sill fits as well as possible.
 
Jobs to do for an MOT:
Complete front suspension rebuild
Finish fabricating and weld on passenger sill
Bleed front and rear brakes
Sort out windscreen washers
Put all the electrics back together and test
Refit interior
 
It's going to have hammerite covered sills and an odd door but I'm fairly confident of an MOT before May, all ready for Shitefest.

£14,245: Ford Fiesta 1.0T EcoBoost 100 Zetec 5 Door
"with a turbocharged three-cylinder petrol engine that makes it better still, and gives low running costs thanks to CO2 emissions of 99g/km and a claimed average of 65.7mpg" (What Car Magazine, February 2013)
 
£13,995:  

 
"Fuck yeah!" (everybody, always)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Out-of-place_artifact

£14,245: Ford Fiesta 1.0T EcoBoost 100 Zetec 5 Door
"with a turbocharged three-cylinder petrol engine that makes it better still, and gives low running costs thanks to CO2 emissions of 99g/km and a claimed average of 65.7mpg" (What Car Magazine, February 2013)
 
£13,995:  

 
"Fuck yeah!" (everybody, always)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Out-of-place_artifact

Look, this Clubman is growing its own replacement wood trim. 

With the tax running out on my surprisingly clean Sierra, I decided it was time to get a smaller car for my commute. Winding A roads and congested city streets are not as fun in a Sierra as one could hope; so off it went to eBay whilst I searched for another car.

Sold for an absolute steal at £350 by the way, if you can find a tidier Sierra with 7 months MOT for less then I would be very surprised indeed.
 
And here is the new car that I came up with. Say hello to the slightly deranged Italian now sat on my drive. A Lancia Y10 1.3 GTIe.

 
I may have only had it three weeks but I have fallen hopelessly in love with this little motor. First and foremost, despite being a Lancia, it has been the most relaible car I have bought in 2 years, with the Maxi, Cressida and Sierra all having carb issues marring my enjoyment and in some cases the engine longevity (pouring fuel out the overflow, sticking shut and sticking open respectively).
 

 
But the joys of fuel injection. Such a simple starting process with no choke or auto choke to ruin the fun!
1) Get in the car, and put keys in ignition barrel.
2) Move key to position one and allow it to go through its electronic checks.
3) Move key to position two and swear when there is no sign of life from the starter motor.
4) Turn off ignition and then move straight back to position two which starts engine but sends low oil light blinking furiously on the dash board because you rushed it and the electronic check panicked.
5) Turn off ignition again and then set to position one and allow electronic checks to complete again.
6) Turn key to position two and engine starts with no issues what so ever.
 
Such a simple six stage process!

 
Then you're on your way, at which point this little car becomes more fun than a Leyland DAF full of hookers. The throttle response is instant and it zips away, bouncing over every bump with unexpected speed. Chucking it round bends is also a laugh as the tiny little tyres scrabble away with not an awful lot of grip, but a superb amount of predictability and enormous amusement.
The engine itself is the old Brazil unit, which saw service in many Fiats over the years, but I believe that this is the only incarnation it has had with fuel injection. It manages the peculiar trick of sounding horribly thrashed like it might suddenly explode at low revs, really getting into its stride and sounding much healthier at high revs, which is exactly what it wants to be doing ninety percent of the time. The gearbox is a rubbery five speed with syncromesh whine that could be mistaken for a supercharger to the untrained ear, but that is all part of the character.
 
And before anyone says anything, the matt black bootlid is standard from the factory!
 

 
Speaking of character; the interior is a joyous place to be, with a nifty flannel covered dash and alacantra seats, teamed with that brittle hard plastic that only the italians can manage. Despite this being a very well cared for example, a piece of plastic often randomly falls out above the cigarette lighter, the central fascia is falling apart, the A pillar trim is coming away and the sun visors squeak and rattle. But would I change it? No. It all adds to the charm. Since this picture was taken, the original steering wheel has been re-instated.
 

 
All this reliability, economy and amusement was had for just £650, with 2 months MOT and tax until June. Its not even that rusty, apart from bubbling on the door and rear arches and has service history back to 2002.
Everyone should have one.

I have to admit, I foolishly never even considered driving conditions before I went. On the way back I found the main road back to Frederikshavn was shut so I had to navigate the way on untreated smaller road without a proper map.
On one such road, driving into a very low sun, I failed to read a junction properly and also didn't see the speed ramp before it which I hit at about 30mph before skidded across the junction and through a load of steel bollards on the pavement. Luckily those old Laurels are pretty hefty and it took it with little damage but the Bluebird had tried to jump off the trailer on the speed ramp and upon landing had actually gone though the plywood bed. Naturally, I backed up and made myself scarce before anybody saw me! It was a bit of a nerve wracking trip!
 

lol no
 
But now with cautious optimism I think I might have solved this issue.
 
First job was to check the radiator. I took it to my radiator testing facility, but not a single air bubble was seen.
 

 
It might not be working at full efficiency but at least it's not leaking. Next up: the thermostat, trapped under the fused on housing. An afternoon of PlusGas, prying screwdrivers and (most effectively) mallets got that changed for a known good one (albeit 88º instead of 82º) with only one snapped stud.

Okay, forget rust and oil leaks for a while. It's T-Cut time!



It's really hard to show in photos what a dramatic difference this has made, it's amazing! It's not as dramatic as when people do it with red paint, but it's really lifted the appearance of the car.


 

£14,245: Ford Fiesta 1.0T EcoBoost 100 Zetec 5 Door
"with a turbocharged three-cylinder petrol engine that makes it better still, and gives low running costs thanks to CO2 emissions of 99g/km and a claimed average of 65.7mpg" (What Car Magazine, February 2013)
 
£13,995:  

 
"Fuck yeah!" (everybody, always)

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Electric-Reliant-Lamm-Car-/221426033662?
 
Looks like a Reliant Rebel but its an electric 'Lamm Car'!!!!
 

 
Wiring looks like its done to a high standard, cant see that ever catching fire. Nice colour coding too
 

 
At last!!! A Reliant that you can weigh in for CA$H MON£Y!

not much just utilising the mighty rover to do few tip runs..

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Out-of-place_artifact

Look, this Clubman is growing its own replacement wood trim.