Richard

Or towing a SAAB 900 on a dolly behind another 900 with a toddler saying "What time is it going to fall off?"

Or towing a SAAB 900 on a dolly behind another 900 with a toddler saying "What time is it going to fall off?"

Just have the old key fixed somewhere so that the transponder can "see" it, then you shouldn't have to worry about coding a new key. It does mean that the car is no longer immobilised though, which is probably more of a problem with a sporty looking Corsa than it is with a C5.

Hedgehogs are troublemakers. A few years ago there was a domestic across the road that took two police vans, two police cars, two ambulances and several hours to sort out. It all started when the man brought a hedgehog into the house to show his wife.

That's the poor design bit, owners worked around it by trying to maximise the voltage that reached the lights. I've never driven a Xantia with the worst lights but the later Xantia 1 and Xantia 2 lights were bad enough.
 
I would also check connections in the fusebox. I believe the headlights only work with the ignition on in the Golf but the flash works with the ignition off, so there would be two fuses.

The internet answer is about the lights being not very good in general, rather than a specific fault. There are similar theories about Xantia lights but in both cases the real problem is poor design of the light unit.
 
I agree with the previous answers that it is likely to be a poor connection, most likely the earth.

Lidl/Aldi snobbery amuses me, I shop in them all the time and they are almost 100% scratter-free, and they certainly don't have whole aisles dedicated to ready meals and blue pop, like Asda do. To my knowledge they have never needed to put signs up reminding people to get dressed before they go shopping. (That appears to be the same woman as in the video)

Lidl/Aldi snobbery amuses me, I shop in them all the time and they are almost 100% scratter-free, and they certainly don't have whole aisles dedicated to ready meals and blue pop, like Asda do. To my knowledge they have never needed to put signs up reminding people to get dressed before they go shopping. (That appears to be the same woman as in the video)

I believe they do tune them, the Police Range Rovers in the 1980s had superchargers in them- though the sticker on the dash warning you not to exceed 110mph offset the benefit of the supercharger a bit.

I think all drivers should do several years learning road sense on a bicycle, then spend a year riding a 50cc bike and a few months on a 125. They should then put in some hours in the family car at the same time as learning the necessary skills and rules from an instructor. Once they have passed their test they should drive a cheap car that they have paid for themselves, this car should have limited handling and braking properties so that the new driver can learn a bit about the laws of physics. Any mistakes must be paid for out of the driver's own pocket.
 
Actually that's a ridiculous idea. Nobody should be in control of any road vehicle until their first driving lesson. No driver should ever have experience of being a vulnerable road user, and laws should be introduced to discourage ownership of a learner legal motorcycle. Prior experience should be gained on a games console so that youngsters can learn how to drive really fast without getting hurt. All practice should be carried out with a qualified instructor and should concentrate on what you need to know for the test. Once the test is passed a new car, fully equipped with airbags, pre-tensioners, thick pillars, ESP and ABS should be bought on tick. Any mistakes should be paid for by insurance, parents or more tick.
 
There, I fixed it.

The territorial pissings twat next door has parked his Jetta so it's actually touching my C5. The C5 has an electric pump for the suspension and it rises up an inch or so when you unlock the doors and then creeps down slowly as the pressure leaks back. It also goes down a fair bit when people get in and then lifts itself back up. I don't expect his front number plate to be still attached when the cars are separated .
 

The territorial pissings twat next door has parked his Jetta so it's actually touching my C5. The C5 has an electric pump for the suspension and it rises up an inch or so when you unlock the doors and then creeps down slowly as the pressure leaks back. It also goes down a fair bit when people get in and then lifts itself back up. I don't expect his front number plate to be still attached when the cars are separated .
 

The territorial pissings twat next door has parked his Jetta so it's actually touching my C5. The C5 has an electric pump for the suspension and it rises up an inch or so when you unlock the doors and then creeps down slowly as the pressure leaks back. It also goes down a fair bit when people get in and then lifts itself back up. I don't expect his front number plate to be still attached when the cars are separated .
 

The territorial pissings twat next door has parked his Jetta so it's actually touching my C5. The C5 has an electric pump for the suspension and it rises up an inch or so when you unlock the doors and then creeps down slowly as the pressure leaks back. It also goes down a fair bit when people get in and then lifts itself back up. I don't expect his front number plate to be still attached when the cars are separated .
 

The territorial pissings twat next door has parked his Jetta so it's actually touching my C5. The C5 has an electric pump for the suspension and it rises up an inch or so when you unlock the doors and then creeps down slowly as the pressure leaks back. It also goes down a fair bit when people get in and then lifts itself back up. I don't expect his front number plate to be still attached when the cars are separated .
 

The territorial pissings twat next door has parked his Jetta so it's actually touching my C5. The C5 has an electric pump for the suspension and it rises up an inch or so when you unlock the doors and then creeps down slowly as the pressure leaks back. It also goes down a fair bit when people get in and then lifts itself back up. I don't expect his front number plate to be still attached when the cars are separated .
 

Speaking as a giffer, there are very few people of all ages that can drive and I am not one of them either. People who can drive usually are called Ari Vatanen or sum such.
But the whole mess out there isn't about who can drive or not, it's about who can drive from A to B without killing someone.
And this isn't done with OMGDRVNGSKLZ, but with using one's BRAIN.
If you need to apply OMGDRVNGSKLZ on any journey, you have already maneuvered yourself into a situation you shouldn't be in in the first place and which you could have avoided had you used your fucking brain for driving and not for all this other mongsense dumped upon the modern* motorist.
I think realising that you suck at the wheel is the first step towards survival.

Viz was still more or less a cottage industry when it was the third best selling magazine in the UK. The editor's wife used to send out the merchandising herself, which involved buying a lot of stamps. The local PO didn't like that one bit, they complained that it didn't leave any stamps for their regular customers- apparently spending hundreds of pounds a week on stamps didn't make you a regular and they didn't like the obvious solution of just buying more stamps in.
 
Apparently Mrs Brady, Old Lady was based on those regular customers who spent something like £2 a week, mostly on cat food.

Viz was still more or less a cottage industry when it was the third best selling magazine in the UK. The editor's wife used to send out the merchandising herself, which involved buying a lot of stamps. The local PO didn't like that one bit, they complained that it didn't leave any stamps for their regular customers- apparently spending hundreds of pounds a week on stamps didn't make you a regular and they didn't like the obvious solution of just buying more stamps in.
 
Apparently Mrs Brady, Old Lady was based on those regular customers who spent something like £2 a week, mostly on cat food.

Neither do I. I can't tell the difference between a Range Rover/Sport, Discovery or Freelander without reading the badges now.

I was going to ask if anybody knew what the story is with the Mercedes that's always parked on the A9 but the local rag answered it yesterday http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/perth-kinross/man-facing-second-winter-in-car-after-escaping-neighbour-problems-1.141712
 
I've posted the link in case any other Scottish shiters have seen it and wondered.

I disabled the immobiliser on my Xantia on its first journey. All you have to do is unplug the keypad while the engine is running.

It's very easy to get a 1.3 Marina sideways, especially if you put a Vauxhall Viva engine in the boot without any restraint.

I've considered railway work because it does at least pay reasonably well.
 
I don't mind working hard or putting in the hours when it's needed but it's got to the stage where every single week has at least one day's free time wiped out and now they are after my weekends and holidays too.

Can't you roll while driving? My neighbour used to do it all the time and he only had one arm. Sometimes he would decide to fiddle with the stereo mid-roll, which was a bit alarming as it was the right arm he still had.