Richard

Grip the door frame tightly as you step out.You still feel the discharge slightly but it seems to be the spark jumping that gives you the jolt.

The twat next door who normally parks like this if I'm over an imaginary line...
 

DSC_0520 by RichardB5, on Flickr
 

 
hasn't clocked that I've got a new car.
 

 
It looks like the kind of crock I would buy but he's not risking it in case it belongs to somebody less mild-mannered than me.

Some of us need to get out more too, in fact some of us are some of them and vice-versa. It's no different from any other hobby really.

sounds like a grade a wanker and one to be humoured and ridiculed.
 
is that all he does or does it get better?
 
when I was a lad a neighbour enjoyed letting his aged lab run through all the front gardens, it regularly took a dump on dads or our neighbours lawn.
 
We all protested but the dog carried on dumping.
 
We had a dog and my bro and I were responsible for clearing shit up in our garden and this frequently included afore mentioned labs stool. After a school trip to France I found myself custodian of a significant number of French bangers of various sizes.
 
My brother armed with a bucket full of shit and me with a pocket full of bangers and a single swan vesta formulated a plan, we walked down the road to the home of the lab. parked the bucket upside down on the immaculate lawn. it really was a magnificent mountain of effluent. I produced a single banger about the size of a roll of polos from my pocket and wedged it into the festering pile, then gave my brother the match.
 
No sooner had I given it did I start running, he struck and lit the fuse. Now anyone familiar with these things will understand that the fuse can last anything between 2 seconds and 15 at best. bro started running and was barely at the kerb when the most almighty explosion rocked the neighbourhood. birds squawking, a distant dog barking and my brother laughing stupidly. we both ran all the way home and into the back garden. It was at this point that I noticed his back, head to toe was splattered with speckles of dog shit.
 
A mighty victory we agreed as we stuffed his clothes into the washing machine to destroy the evidence.
 
Of course all hell broke loose, perpetrator of the ubiquitous turd and owner of aged lab was banging on doors up and down the street raising hell and threatening to call the police. A copper did in fact live 3 doors away, my brother and I were bricking it. Dad went to have a look and was astonished to find the quiet pretty white rendered suburban house splattered with a large volume of shit. it was right up into the eaves.
 
Dad instinctively knew who did it but didn't let on, our neighbour also had a pretty good idea. the cops never showed up and the shit remained on the front of the house above ground level for some time.
 
From that point forwards the lab had his walkies on a leash.
 
Maybe something creative like this is called for?

The twat next door who normally parks like this if I'm over an imaginary line...
 

DSC_0520 by RichardB5, on Flickr
 

 
hasn't clocked that I've got a new car.
 

 
It looks like the kind of crock I would buy but he's not risking it in case it belongs to somebody less mild-mannered than me.

16th-18th May, in Wales. http://autoshite.com/topic/14675-shitefest-cymru-16th-18th-may-2014/ I'm planning to drive over 350 miles each way to get to it.

Night vision camera recording in the rear window, then when he nudges your car,(as he must being that close)  invoice him for bumper & rear light repairs, as recorded.
 
Should make him back off.

for twats like that I would invest in
 

 
then sprinkle liberally on roof and bonnet of afore mentioned twats motor when returning from an evening of light refreshment at the local boozer 

The twat next door who normally parks like this if I'm over an imaginary line...
 

DSC_0520 by RichardB5, on Flickr
 

 
hasn't clocked that I've got a new car.
 

 
It looks like the kind of crock I would buy but he's not risking it in case it belongs to somebody less mild-mannered than me.

The twat next door who normally parks like this if I'm over an imaginary line...
 

DSC_0520 by RichardB5, on Flickr
 

 
hasn't clocked that I've got a new car.
 

 
It looks like the kind of crock I would buy but he's not risking it in case it belongs to somebody less mild-mannered than me.

The twat next door who normally parks like this if I'm over an imaginary line...
 

DSC_0520 by RichardB5, on Flickr
 

 
hasn't clocked that I've got a new car.
 

 
It looks like the kind of crock I would buy but he's not risking it in case it belongs to somebody less mild-mannered than me.

The twat next door who normally parks like this if I'm over an imaginary line...
 

DSC_0520 by RichardB5, on Flickr
 

 
hasn't clocked that I've got a new car.
 

 
It looks like the kind of crock I would buy but he's not risking it in case it belongs to somebody less mild-mannered than me.

The twat next door who normally parks like this if I'm over an imaginary line...
 

DSC_0520 by RichardB5, on Flickr
 

 
hasn't clocked that I've got a new car.
 

 
It looks like the kind of crock I would buy but he's not risking it in case it belongs to somebody less mild-mannered than me.

The twat next door who normally parks like this if I'm over an imaginary line...
 

DSC_0520 by RichardB5, on Flickr
 

 
hasn't clocked that I've got a new car.
 

 
It looks like the kind of crock I would buy but he's not risking it in case it belongs to somebody less mild-mannered than me.

The email copy of the certificate didn't materialise either, nor has the paper copy yet. There will be an angry phone call today.
 
It was so much simpler when I could just walk into the insurance broker's office in town, they were as cheap as the internet quotes right up until they closed too.

The twat next door who normally parks like this if I'm over an imaginary line...
 

DSC_0520 by RichardB5, on Flickr
 

 
hasn't clocked that I've got a new car.
 

 
It looks like the kind of crock I would buy but he's not risking it in case it belongs to somebody less mild-mannered than me.

The twat next door who normally parks like this if I'm over an imaginary line...
 

DSC_0520 by RichardB5, on Flickr
 

 
hasn't clocked that I've got a new car.
 

 
It looks like the kind of crock I would buy but he's not risking it in case it belongs to somebody less mild-mannered than me.

Autoglym Super Resin Polish
Autoglym HD Wax
A Microfibre applicator pad to polish with
A few microfibre cloths to buff everything off with
Tyre dressing
Peanut butter/trim gel
 
All should be gettable from halfords for about £30, SRP and Wax will last a good few years.

The email copy of the certificate didn't materialise either, nor has the paper copy yet. There will be an angry phone call today.
 
It was so much simpler when I could just walk into the insurance broker's office in town, they were as cheap as the internet quotes right up until they closed too.

As mentioned in the 'should I buy a minicab' thread, for less than the cost of the leggy Octavia we discussed I am now the proud owner of a somewhat disreputable Vectra C with the unpopular 2.0 DTI engine.
 
I got it cheap partly because it has lots of dents. As well as the obviously distressed drivers dooe note also the large dent in the bonnet.

 
Were it not for the nasty crease in the rear wing this would be the better side. Note the window tint!

 
I have thrown the lovely wheeltrims straight in the bin prefering to go wihout but unfortunately the tyres remain. They are Polish remoulds and are starting to break up, with portions of tread begining to detatch. Saturday I'll be right along to the scrapyard to try and score some new rubber...

 
So what's it like? Well, I'm almost embarrassed to say I'm really rather pleased with it. It drives well, is comfy, and seems good on diesel. Aside from the tyres the only other defects yet obvious are broken seat adjuster cables (which I will attempt to bodge with bike brake cable) a door which you need the knack to open and a clunk on hard braking/acceleration from the front suspension which I suspect may be a wishbone bush which may also be responsible for the inside of the drivers side front wheel being tracked off. More investigations at the weekend.
 
 

I might try and get along later but I won't be eating.

Yes but if you click one of the green tabs it'll find all the rest,  a bit like punching a policeman.

Samba and 323 spotted in Stoneybridge.
 

I wouldn't have bought the Volvo if it hadn't been on the main board, I wasn't looking for a car and wouldn't have bothered looking in a Classified section.
 
There does seem to have been a flurry of cars for sale recently, I think it's just the time of year for taking stock and making changes.

Samba and 323 spotted in Stoneybridge.