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Frenchenstein

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  1. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to Eyersey1234 in Autoshite lexicon   
    Especially by @dollywobbler🤣🤣
  2. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to R1152 in Autoshite lexicon   
    Sounds like an episode of Top Gear in the Clarkson/Hammond/May era.
  3. Haha
    Frenchenstein reacted to Talbot in Autoshite lexicon   
    As was prevalent in Kit Car circles a goodly few years ago:
    "Video build" = A knackered VHS video of my mate ragging it around a field a few times, followed by 4 of us standing around the engine bay while it boils over.
  4. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to HMC in Autoshite lexicon   
    The Solihull paradox. Rugged, tackle all off road vehicles whose metal components dissolve in West Midlands drizzle.
  5. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to CreepingJesus in Autoshite lexicon   
    I've defined it to myself in the past, as that moment when I've spent a small fortune on parts and/or repairs, and the bloody thing resolutely defies fixing. It's the moment just before going full Basil Fawlty on it, when the entire universe is humming along just nicely thanks, except that bit I'm currently inhabiting, without two brass farthings to rub together.
     
    Right, that's it, you're going to get a damn good thrashing...etc.
     
    Also -and I'm not sure it's entirely relevant, but bear with me - as a result of someone mishearing what I was saying the other day, when 'valerian tea' became 'Bavarian tea'...
    BAVARIAN TEA - a bottled brewed beverage from the Rhineland, sufficient consumption of which is helpful in overcoming the disappointments typically experienced after FUCQUILIBRIUM, FTP, FTS and IFFMBT among others. Analogous to, (and sometimes resulting from a misfortune induced by) DUTCH COURAGE.
  6. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to busmansholiday in Autoshite lexicon   
    They got Aldi and Audi mixed up !!
  7. Like
    Frenchenstein got a reaction from Eyersey1234 in Autoshite lexicon   
    I forgot “Shonky”, I heard that used for the first time in 1972; perfect word to describe an unloved, unwashed, down trodden, rust bucket, using excess burnt engine oil to subdue the flies drawn, in swarms, to it. (I’m going to use Shonky tomurrah!)
  8. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to adw1977 in Autoshite lexicon   
    I think a 2 door Mark 2 Cav, available for a few months in 1300 base spec only, should qualify as BASE.
  9. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to CreepingJesus in Autoshite lexicon   
    Cav L isn't base. With sufficient arcane knowledge (which is an AS staple), one could come up with the desperately miserable MOD special Cavs, which had literally some seats, a speedo and...yeah, that was about it. One of those would ace a Cav L in a shite-off, such is the perverse nature of this place.
  10. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to Formula Autos in Autoshite lexicon   
    Sherpa Cabrio/Coupe - MGB Roadster/GT
     
    Cavalier in a shell suit - Vauxhall Calibra
     
    Mondeo in a party frock - Ford Cougar
     
    Pez - petrol
     
    Dizzler - diesel
     
    Dr. Diesel's evil invention - a compression ignition engine running on heavy fuel oil. A dizzler.
     
    J-tin - A vehicle of Japanese origin.
     
    Fugly - Worse than ugly. See also: gopping.
     
    Moto-Scat - A breakaway movement from Autoshite, after a bit of a falling out. Aims to be more serious than AS. It's leader, Leonard Hatred (AKA Milford Cubicle/Marcello Gandini/Lacquer Peel/FOAD/plain old Len) can usually still be found on Autoshite though, as can some of the members of Moto-Scat - so it hasn't broken too far away.
     
    OSF - Old Sporty Ford. Usualy subject to swingeing Scene Tax (see also). Most highly valuable OSFs can no longer be left parked on the roadside, as they would be taken, post-haste, by theiving scrotes (NB: not to be confused with a Scrote, which is a Ford Escort).
     
    Gallic Quality Control - At its most rigorous this can include both a cursory glance AND a shrug of the shoulders.
     
    Spaghetti Marelli - An italian automotive electronics firm. The world's leading purveyors of spaghetti electrics.
  11. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to RedSparrow in Autoshite lexicon   
    CPTC - Cat Piss Tarp Challenge. When posting shite spots, the challenge of guessing what vehicle lurks beneath an old builder's tarpaulin that smells of cat piss.
  12. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to quicksilver in Autoshite lexicon   
    Purple Helmet: real name Purple Horse, a purveyor of interesting but comically overpriced chod on ebay who keeps adding to his stock but very rarely actually sells anything.
  13. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to Junkman in Autoshite lexicon   
    Audi - German supplier of quality tools, car accessories, and live essentials such as beer and carpet slippers.
    Aldi - German maker of motorcars based in Ingolstadt.
  14. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to chaseracer in Autoshite lexicon   
    See also: "Rhyl".
     
    If you dare...
  15. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to barefoot in Autoshite lexicon   
    HGF - a mid engined late model MG
  16. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to Albert Ross in Autoshite lexicon   
    eBay mongs- See: bumbers - 1st to see will buy - "Will you swap for Mondeo tonite M8" - "Whats yes bestest fer cash, wil cloect tnite" - When the advert plainly states "Has no tax and test, the engine is in the boot in a thousand pieces" yet they still ask if it will drive home to Ingatestone on a fiver.
     
    See also "Mouth breather" and "Fucktard".
     
    Jaywick - Autoshite Holiday destination of the year.
  17. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to Partridge in Autoshite lexicon   
    Council Estate Touring Car I think ought to be added. 
     
    Any old BMW, Lexus or Merc, preferably on “GAZ†plates. 
  18. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to HillmanImp in Autoshite lexicon   
    Have I missed owt of has nobody said pov spec yet? For those untrained, pov spec is not a car in which grumble film sleazebag Ben Dover uses to do Point Of View jazz films of average looking bints who have hit hard times, it is in fact a poverty spec car, such as a Popular Escort. Ironically, a lot of girls in the Ben Dover films were also popular Escorts.
     
    A Poplar escort is a car with a tree growing out of it.  
  19. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to Partridge in Autoshite lexicon   
    HGF should be “OMFGOMGHGFâ€Â. 
  20. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to Formula Autos in Autoshite lexicon   
    Council Estate Spec - A vehicle of similar outward appearance to Onslow from Keeping Up Appearances' Cortina. A vehicle with a certain "couldn't give a shit" air about it, that suggests it started its journey from an domestic appliance strewn front garden. Giveaway signs can include mismatched panels and wheels and a multitude of battle scars. Smaller, non-essential components such as badging, side indicators, and passenger mirrors are often removed/missing - perhaps in accordance with Colin Champan's ethos of "adding lightness". A prime example of this spec is THAT Volvo estate which I believe in currently in cms206's possession. Such vehicles are often judged to be grim/EPIC/full of WIN.
  21. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to CreepingJesus in Autoshite lexicon   
    Fannymould - manifold. Cheers AS, this slipped out early this morning, when describing why i was suffering from fume poisoning, and my truck's exhaust was making that characteristic ticking noise. To wit:
    Me "Erm, exhaust fannymould gasket's gone. Can you fix it?"
    Fitter "Eh?"
  22. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to rml2345 in Autoshite lexicon   
    PHAKT or PHACT - Sonething that may* or may not be true. (See asterisk).
  23. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to Junkman in Autoshite lexicon   
    Brown - a very dark shade of beige.
  24. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to HH-R in Autoshite lexicon   
    For the Honda* engined Rovers, I think the rule is if it's broken it's one of those "Shitty Rover engines", if it has been reliable then it is a Honda (or BMW).
  25. Like
    Frenchenstein reacted to Pillock in Autoshite lexicon   
    Ebay Tat: Things that are worth owning.
    Ebay Bargains: Things that are not bargains.
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