Pillock

The youngest is doing motor vehicle maintenance at college, and he's doing work experience this term at a garage. 
Sent me this photo today of what he's been doing some work on...

Are the trains running then?

*rubs thighs vigorously*

You want a rant? Here's a fucking rant.
I gave my old company BMW back in June. At the start of November I got an email from Dartford Crossing telling me I had to bring my Pay as you Go account back to order as it was -£5. Yes, that's right, I forgot to take the BMW off the account and someone had used it over the bridge.
I emailed back to say sorry, I got rid, I can provide evidence.
They emailed back to say doesn't matter, the terms say you're liable.
Me: OK, I accept that and I'm sorry. Out of interest has the driver of the BMW paid?
Them: we can't tell you that. GDPR innit. It's your responsibility to keep your account updated.
Me: Because obviously if they've paid, your business isn't out of pocket.
Them: if you let us know the last four digits of the card number they used, we can transfer the payment to your account 
Me: erm, it's not my car. I don't know who is driving it let alone their card number. But thanks for confirming that a payment was made.
Them: you owe us five quid mate
Me: so a payment was made, you're not out of pocket, can't we just forget all this?
Them: five. Quid.
Me: what happens if I don't pay?
Them: we will contact the owner of the vehicle
Me: you've just said a payment was made. Oh, and by the way, where do you stand on the GDPR aspect of telling me the dates and times a car I don't own crossed the Thames?
Then: it's your responsibility blah blah blah
Me: when you say the owner of the vehicle, is it then or now?
Them: it's your responsibility waaaaaah waaaaaah
Me: Will. Anything. Happen. To. Me?
Them: we'll keep asking for the five quid.
Me: BYEEEE
 
TL;DR, I messed up and forgot to take my old car off an account. It crossed the bridge, a charge was made and paid for by the new owner, but still my account is in arrears so they can make an additional five pounds. Robbing twatsticks.
Oh, and each email takes four or five days so this has dragged out for nearly two months.

You want a rant? Here's a fucking rant.
I gave my old company BMW back in June. At the start of November I got an email from Dartford Crossing telling me I had to bring my Pay as you Go account back to order as it was -£5. Yes, that's right, I forgot to take the BMW off the account and someone had used it over the bridge.
I emailed back to say sorry, I got rid, I can provide evidence.
They emailed back to say doesn't matter, the terms say you're liable.
Me: OK, I accept that and I'm sorry. Out of interest has the driver of the BMW paid?
Them: we can't tell you that. GDPR innit. It's your responsibility to keep your account updated.
Me: Because obviously if they've paid, your business isn't out of pocket.
Them: if you let us know the last four digits of the card number they used, we can transfer the payment to your account 
Me: erm, it's not my car. I don't know who is driving it let alone their card number. But thanks for confirming that a payment was made.
Them: you owe us five quid mate
Me: so a payment was made, you're not out of pocket, can't we just forget all this?
Them: five. Quid.
Me: what happens if I don't pay?
Them: we will contact the owner of the vehicle
Me: you've just said a payment was made. Oh, and by the way, where do you stand on the GDPR aspect of telling me the dates and times a car I don't own crossed the Thames?
Then: it's your responsibility blah blah blah
Me: when you say the owner of the vehicle, is it then or now?
Them: it's your responsibility waaaaaah waaaaaah
Me: Will. Anything. Happen. To. Me?
Them: we'll keep asking for the five quid.
Me: BYEEEE
 
TL;DR, I messed up and forgot to take my old car off an account. It crossed the bridge, a charge was made and paid for by the new owner, but still my account is in arrears so they can make an additional five pounds. Robbing twatsticks.
Oh, and each email takes four or five days so this has dragged out for nearly two months.

Yes, I turn them off before any sort of dogging activities.

You want a rant? Here's a fucking rant.
I gave my old company BMW back in June. At the start of November I got an email from Dartford Crossing telling me I had to bring my Pay as you Go account back to order as it was -£5. Yes, that's right, I forgot to take the BMW off the account and someone had used it over the bridge.
I emailed back to say sorry, I got rid, I can provide evidence.
They emailed back to say doesn't matter, the terms say you're liable.
Me: OK, I accept that and I'm sorry. Out of interest has the driver of the BMW paid?
Them: we can't tell you that. GDPR innit. It's your responsibility to keep your account updated.
Me: Because obviously if they've paid, your business isn't out of pocket.
Them: if you let us know the last four digits of the card number they used, we can transfer the payment to your account 
Me: erm, it's not my car. I don't know who is driving it let alone their card number. But thanks for confirming that a payment was made.
Them: you owe us five quid mate
Me: so a payment was made, you're not out of pocket, can't we just forget all this?
Them: five. Quid.
Me: what happens if I don't pay?
Them: we will contact the owner of the vehicle
Me: you've just said a payment was made. Oh, and by the way, where do you stand on the GDPR aspect of telling me the dates and times a car I don't own crossed the Thames?
Then: it's your responsibility blah blah blah
Me: when you say the owner of the vehicle, is it then or now?
Them: it's your responsibility waaaaaah waaaaaah
Me: Will. Anything. Happen. To. Me?
Them: we'll keep asking for the five quid.
Me: BYEEEE
 
TL;DR, I messed up and forgot to take my old car off an account. It crossed the bridge, a charge was made and paid for by the new owner, but still my account is in arrears so they can make an additional five pounds. Robbing twatsticks.
Oh, and each email takes four or five days so this has dragged out for nearly two months.

You want a rant? Here's a fucking rant.
I gave my old company BMW back in June. At the start of November I got an email from Dartford Crossing telling me I had to bring my Pay as you Go account back to order as it was -£5. Yes, that's right, I forgot to take the BMW off the account and someone had used it over the bridge.
I emailed back to say sorry, I got rid, I can provide evidence.
They emailed back to say doesn't matter, the terms say you're liable.
Me: OK, I accept that and I'm sorry. Out of interest has the driver of the BMW paid?
Them: we can't tell you that. GDPR innit. It's your responsibility to keep your account updated.
Me: Because obviously if they've paid, your business isn't out of pocket.
Them: if you let us know the last four digits of the card number they used, we can transfer the payment to your account 
Me: erm, it's not my car. I don't know who is driving it let alone their card number. But thanks for confirming that a payment was made.
Them: you owe us five quid mate
Me: so a payment was made, you're not out of pocket, can't we just forget all this?
Them: five. Quid.
Me: what happens if I don't pay?
Them: we will contact the owner of the vehicle
Me: you've just said a payment was made. Oh, and by the way, where do you stand on the GDPR aspect of telling me the dates and times a car I don't own crossed the Thames?
Then: it's your responsibility blah blah blah
Me: when you say the owner of the vehicle, is it then or now?
Them: it's your responsibility waaaaaah waaaaaah
Me: Will. Anything. Happen. To. Me?
Them: we'll keep asking for the five quid.
Me: BYEEEE
 
TL;DR, I messed up and forgot to take my old car off an account. It crossed the bridge, a charge was made and paid for by the new owner, but still my account is in arrears so they can make an additional five pounds. Robbing twatsticks.
Oh, and each email takes four or five days so this has dragged out for nearly two months.

Yes, I turn them off before any sort of dogging activities.

Yes, I turn them off before any sort of dogging activities.

You want a rant? Here's a fucking rant.
I gave my old company BMW back in June. At the start of November I got an email from Dartford Crossing telling me I had to bring my Pay as you Go account back to order as it was -£5. Yes, that's right, I forgot to take the BMW off the account and someone had used it over the bridge.
I emailed back to say sorry, I got rid, I can provide evidence.
They emailed back to say doesn't matter, the terms say you're liable.
Me: OK, I accept that and I'm sorry. Out of interest has the driver of the BMW paid?
Them: we can't tell you that. GDPR innit. It's your responsibility to keep your account updated.
Me: Because obviously if they've paid, your business isn't out of pocket.
Them: if you let us know the last four digits of the card number they used, we can transfer the payment to your account 
Me: erm, it's not my car. I don't know who is driving it let alone their card number. But thanks for confirming that a payment was made.
Them: you owe us five quid mate
Me: so a payment was made, you're not out of pocket, can't we just forget all this?
Them: five. Quid.
Me: what happens if I don't pay?
Them: we will contact the owner of the vehicle
Me: you've just said a payment was made. Oh, and by the way, where do you stand on the GDPR aspect of telling me the dates and times a car I don't own crossed the Thames?
Then: it's your responsibility blah blah blah
Me: when you say the owner of the vehicle, is it then or now?
Them: it's your responsibility waaaaaah waaaaaah
Me: Will. Anything. Happen. To. Me?
Them: we'll keep asking for the five quid.
Me: BYEEEE
 
TL;DR, I messed up and forgot to take my old car off an account. It crossed the bridge, a charge was made and paid for by the new owner, but still my account is in arrears so they can make an additional five pounds. Robbing twatsticks.
Oh, and each email takes four or five days so this has dragged out for nearly two months.

You want a rant? Here's a fucking rant.
I gave my old company BMW back in June. At the start of November I got an email from Dartford Crossing telling me I had to bring my Pay as you Go account back to order as it was -£5. Yes, that's right, I forgot to take the BMW off the account and someone had used it over the bridge.
I emailed back to say sorry, I got rid, I can provide evidence.
They emailed back to say doesn't matter, the terms say you're liable.
Me: OK, I accept that and I'm sorry. Out of interest has the driver of the BMW paid?
Them: we can't tell you that. GDPR innit. It's your responsibility to keep your account updated.
Me: Because obviously if they've paid, your business isn't out of pocket.
Them: if you let us know the last four digits of the card number they used, we can transfer the payment to your account 
Me: erm, it's not my car. I don't know who is driving it let alone their card number. But thanks for confirming that a payment was made.
Them: you owe us five quid mate
Me: so a payment was made, you're not out of pocket, can't we just forget all this?
Them: five. Quid.
Me: what happens if I don't pay?
Them: we will contact the owner of the vehicle
Me: you've just said a payment was made. Oh, and by the way, where do you stand on the GDPR aspect of telling me the dates and times a car I don't own crossed the Thames?
Then: it's your responsibility blah blah blah
Me: when you say the owner of the vehicle, is it then or now?
Them: it's your responsibility waaaaaah waaaaaah
Me: Will. Anything. Happen. To. Me?
Them: we'll keep asking for the five quid.
Me: BYEEEE
 
TL;DR, I messed up and forgot to take my old car off an account. It crossed the bridge, a charge was made and paid for by the new owner, but still my account is in arrears so they can make an additional five pounds. Robbing twatsticks.
Oh, and each email takes four or five days so this has dragged out for nearly two months.

You want a rant? Here's a fucking rant.
I gave my old company BMW back in June. At the start of November I got an email from Dartford Crossing telling me I had to bring my Pay as you Go account back to order as it was -£5. Yes, that's right, I forgot to take the BMW off the account and someone had used it over the bridge.
I emailed back to say sorry, I got rid, I can provide evidence.
They emailed back to say doesn't matter, the terms say you're liable.
Me: OK, I accept that and I'm sorry. Out of interest has the driver of the BMW paid?
Them: we can't tell you that. GDPR innit. It's your responsibility to keep your account updated.
Me: Because obviously if they've paid, your business isn't out of pocket.
Them: if you let us know the last four digits of the card number they used, we can transfer the payment to your account 
Me: erm, it's not my car. I don't know who is driving it let alone their card number. But thanks for confirming that a payment was made.
Them: you owe us five quid mate
Me: so a payment was made, you're not out of pocket, can't we just forget all this?
Them: five. Quid.
Me: what happens if I don't pay?
Them: we will contact the owner of the vehicle
Me: you've just said a payment was made. Oh, and by the way, where do you stand on the GDPR aspect of telling me the dates and times a car I don't own crossed the Thames?
Then: it's your responsibility blah blah blah
Me: when you say the owner of the vehicle, is it then or now?
Them: it's your responsibility waaaaaah waaaaaah
Me: Will. Anything. Happen. To. Me?
Them: we'll keep asking for the five quid.
Me: BYEEEE
 
TL;DR, I messed up and forgot to take my old car off an account. It crossed the bridge, a charge was made and paid for by the new owner, but still my account is in arrears so they can make an additional five pounds. Robbing twatsticks.
Oh, and each email takes four or five days so this has dragged out for nearly two months.

You want a rant? Here's a fucking rant.
I gave my old company BMW back in June. At the start of November I got an email from Dartford Crossing telling me I had to bring my Pay as you Go account back to order as it was -£5. Yes, that's right, I forgot to take the BMW off the account and someone had used it over the bridge.
I emailed back to say sorry, I got rid, I can provide evidence.
They emailed back to say doesn't matter, the terms say you're liable.
Me: OK, I accept that and I'm sorry. Out of interest has the driver of the BMW paid?
Them: we can't tell you that. GDPR innit. It's your responsibility to keep your account updated.
Me: Because obviously if they've paid, your business isn't out of pocket.
Them: if you let us know the last four digits of the card number they used, we can transfer the payment to your account 
Me: erm, it's not my car. I don't know who is driving it let alone their card number. But thanks for confirming that a payment was made.
Them: you owe us five quid mate
Me: so a payment was made, you're not out of pocket, can't we just forget all this?
Them: five. Quid.
Me: what happens if I don't pay?
Them: we will contact the owner of the vehicle
Me: you've just said a payment was made. Oh, and by the way, where do you stand on the GDPR aspect of telling me the dates and times a car I don't own crossed the Thames?
Then: it's your responsibility blah blah blah
Me: when you say the owner of the vehicle, is it then or now?
Them: it's your responsibility waaaaaah waaaaaah
Me: Will. Anything. Happen. To. Me?
Them: we'll keep asking for the five quid.
Me: BYEEEE
 
TL;DR, I messed up and forgot to take my old car off an account. It crossed the bridge, a charge was made and paid for by the new owner, but still my account is in arrears so they can make an additional five pounds. Robbing twatsticks.
Oh, and each email takes four or five days so this has dragged out for nearly two months.

I'll have been on trains as the clock ticks midnight, I'll see if Mrs Pillock fancies even more trains.
(For anyone local and interested, Great Central are doing their steam and diesel NYE running)

What are the gauges measuring that's so important it needs to be six inches from your eyeball?
 
It's brilliant, it really is. Please encourage him. There's not enough of this madness in the world (France excluded)

I've had a sneak peak at next year's revised Driving Theory Test...
Q: Why should you have your tyres balanced when replaced?
a: To reduce strain on suspension components
B: To ensure proper control of the vehicle
3: To make sure your fridge doesn't pop open and all your beer goes everywhere
IV: All of the above

These Trippets just appeared on Facebook, apparently Loughborough based. What are they?

Just a thought but should this topic be a sticky on top of page 1 for the next few weeks.

You're not far wrong there, Ben.

Presumably he heard someone say you paid "four thousand", unaware you work in pence not pounds.

It's "Silvery Green Car Tuesday" at Sainsburys in Kimberley, near Nottingham. Drivers of silvery green cars get up to 8.5% off all fruit, vegetables and toilet rolls.

Note the police have turned up in their Vauxhall Astra to control the crowds. Due to underfunding, they have to brush-paint the stripes on their patrol cars.

The guy with the gypsy caravans and Bluebird etc says he doesn't yet make a living out of it, but that's because so far the takings from each one has been ploughed into building the next one. He did say he could see a time, probably when the fourth is finished or maybe get a fifth somewhere where it would be his only job - I guess four or five quirky caravans around the country would take a fair bit of looking after.
That said, he's a pro carpenter... we stayed in one for just two nights and in that time he went from a few bits of wood laid out on the floor, to a recognisable frame of a caravan with a roof on. I guess the trick is to make things desirable, and an Airstream certainly stands out from a sea of beige bedsits on the site. We were just flicking through one Saturday morning when we found his first one, made a booking there and then, and were in the hot tub by 4pm. 

It's "Silvery Green Car Tuesday" at Sainsburys in Kimberley, near Nottingham. Drivers of silvery green cars get up to 8.5% off all fruit, vegetables and toilet rolls.

Note the police have turned up in their Vauxhall Astra to control the crowds. Due to underfunding, they have to brush-paint the stripes on their patrol cars.

It's "Silvery Green Car Tuesday" at Sainsburys in Kimberley, near Nottingham. Drivers of silvery green cars get up to 8.5% off all fruit, vegetables and toilet rolls.

Note the police have turned up in their Vauxhall Astra to control the crowds. Due to underfunding, they have to brush-paint the stripes on their patrol cars.