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Pillock

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  1. Like
    Pillock got a reaction from HMC in The Autoshite holy grail is now one of us!   
    If cars were valued on how good they were as cars, the Mini would be free with a box of cornflakes. Stuff finds it's own value, the Sierra was OK in the whole and groundbreaking at launch.
     
    Maybe Old School Fords aren't as good as people make out, but they are a part of history and it's nice to preserve examples. And if Steve, a 38 year old team leader for Gloucester who has just come into a bit of money off the back of Uncle Wilf kicking the bucket, wants to blow £22k on a Cossie or £5k on an XR3i or £1000 on a wreck of a Sierra just like his dad had, then fucking let him. I'd rather see this at a show than many sportscars.
  2. Like
    Pillock got a reaction from TheMokrite in Welcome to the new forum! Here's some tips and tricks   
    Welcome one and all to the new home of average transport.
    Most of the forum will work exactly how you expect it to, but there's a few differences which will hopefully make your life easier. We'll add to this first post as other things become apparent or we find new options, seriously it's like getting out of a Fiesta Bonus and into a Sierra Ghia with all these new buttons.
     
    Reading posts
    You can hover over a thread title to see a pop-up and choose either first post, or latest post to quickly preview it without clicking into it As before, you can click the star or circle to the left of a thread title (star is if you've participated, circle for threads you've only read) to go straight to the unread post  
    Composing posts
    If you want to only quote a few words from someone else's post, just highlight the words with your cursor in their post and you'll get a "Quote" popup rather than having to quote the whole lot and delete the extra test (Thanks Stanky!) Tags and Prefixes are somewhat different to the old version! A "Prefix" is what appears at the start of the topic title on the forum, and tags appear at the end You start by entering one or more tags. Seperate them by just pressing enter to finish that tag and start a new one. You can then optionally choose one of them to be the prefix by selecting it in the drop-down Default behaviour seems to be that it will automatically select the first tag as  the prefix, so it appears twice. Looks crap but it's a "feature" for now. Deselect it if you want....  
    Image linking and embedding
    You now don't need [ img ] tags around pictures from elsewhere on the web. Simply paste an address that ends in .jpg or .png etc and it will automatically embed it If the image address doesn't end in .jpg or .png try clicking the "Insert other media" button below the text entry field and paste the address in there. When using the file uploader to embed your own photos from your computer, you can just drag them onto the bar below the text entry area. Once you've done that you can click the plus icon on the photo to embed it anywhere in the post (put your cursor where you want it to go first) If you've already used an image somewhere, it doesn't need to be reuploaded. Click "insert other media" and choose "existing attachment" to browse all the images you've ever uploaded. If you don't want the image embedded inline, you can press ctrl-Z to undo (or use the link that appears at the bottom of the compose window saying "use link instead" for a few seconds after it embeds) and it will go back to the old behaviour with just the address of the image  
    Searching
    To find your own content, instead of “My Content” you can use “Search My Activity” which is at the top right of the forum. It’s sort of notifications and all sorts rolled into one but there’s Posts and Topics as sections in the left hand menu Tags and prefixes are clickable to search for other similar content. If you click on Activity on the main menu, there's a detailed search for your own content, member lists (separate tab) etc.  
    Signatures, Display Name, Email address
    Click your username at the top right corner, and select "Account Settings" Edit your signature, display name or email address there. You can also turn off seeing other people's signatures Note signatures don't display on mobile devices to avoid taking up too much room  
    Reactions
    The "like" button is gone, and Reactions are here instead. You've got like, thanks, sad and confused.  No, you can't like your own posts  
    Notifications
    The forum seems to default to "Follow topics I reply to" which is the same as Old Autoshite, however.... The default behaviour is also to email you notifications. Oh no! That's a lot of emails..... Click the Notification Bell at the top right, and choose Notification settings. The four options for notification frequency let you summarise things into one email. The top option doesn't specifically say "emails" as the type of notification can be controlled in the next step. Scroll down and you can toggle emails or notifications for each of the different events (like someone replying to a topic you've followed etc).  You can also turn the notification sound off in that screen if you're thinking of perving over Austin Allegro Equipes (yeah, that picture) at 3am in bed.  
  3. Haha
    Pillock got a reaction from Lacquer Peel in Well that's a bit random - somebody stole half my car... eBay nob content   
    Barely anyone ever ticked the "random fencepost" option on the 306, good to see an example exists.
  4. Like
    Pillock got a reaction from richykitchy in Well that's a bit random - somebody stole half my car... eBay nob content   
    At least the hoodlums broke back into the car and reinstalled the gearbox. That was lucky.
  5. Like
    Pillock got a reaction from petermcpete in Well that's a bit random - somebody stole half my car... eBay nob content   
    At least the hoodlums broke back into the car and reinstalled the gearbox. That was lucky.
  6. Like
    Pillock got a reaction from BlankFrank in Well that's a bit random - somebody stole half my car... eBay nob content   
    At least the hoodlums broke back into the car and reinstalled the gearbox. That was lucky.
  7. Haha
    Pillock got a reaction from jumpingjehovahs in Well that's a bit random - somebody stole half my car... eBay nob content   
    Barely anyone ever ticked the "random fencepost" option on the 306, good to see an example exists.
  8. Like
    Pillock got a reaction from jumpingjehovahs in Well that's a bit random - somebody stole half my car... eBay nob content   
    At least the hoodlums broke back into the car and reinstalled the gearbox. That was lucky.
  9. Like
    Pillock got a reaction from RoadworkUK in I present..... Mr Albert Ross and his Garden of Shite   
    Had a tootle up the A1 today to collect a MECHANICAL GENIUS, and whilst I was there went shite-hunting in the undergrowth
     

    Careful.... back a bit..... back a bit.... perfect!
     

    Oooh you tease!!
     

    Aaah there we go - vehicle number one is this beautifully presented Scorpio Ultima.
     

    Fully loaded and in bloody good nick
     

    "tidy"
     

    May need some service items before it hits the road....
     

    Exhibit two, a mingebag-spec 1800 Saff.
     

    With an inexplicably blue interior
     

    Watch it all you want, it's not going far just yet!
     

    B&Q's garden ornaments are getting a bit specialised these days.
  10. Like
    Pillock got a reaction from Lacquer Peel in I present..... Mr Albert Ross and his Garden of Shite   
    Had a tootle up the A1 today to collect a MECHANICAL GENIUS, and whilst I was there went shite-hunting in the undergrowth
     

    Careful.... back a bit..... back a bit.... perfect!
     

    Oooh you tease!!
     

    Aaah there we go - vehicle number one is this beautifully presented Scorpio Ultima.
     

    Fully loaded and in bloody good nick
     

    "tidy"
     

    May need some service items before it hits the road....
     

    Exhibit two, a mingebag-spec 1800 Saff.
     

    With an inexplicably blue interior
     

    Watch it all you want, it's not going far just yet!
     

    B&Q's garden ornaments are getting a bit specialised these days.
  11. Like
    Pillock got a reaction from Dick Van Diesel in I present..... Mr Albert Ross and his Garden of Shite   
    Had a tootle up the A1 today to collect a MECHANICAL GENIUS, and whilst I was there went shite-hunting in the undergrowth
     

    Careful.... back a bit..... back a bit.... perfect!
     

    Oooh you tease!!
     

    Aaah there we go - vehicle number one is this beautifully presented Scorpio Ultima.
     

    Fully loaded and in bloody good nick
     

    "tidy"
     

    May need some service items before it hits the road....
     

    Exhibit two, a mingebag-spec 1800 Saff.
     

    With an inexplicably blue interior
     

    Watch it all you want, it's not going far just yet!
     

    B&Q's garden ornaments are getting a bit specialised these days.
  12. Haha
    Pillock got a reaction from catsinthewelder in Cobbler's's Talbot Express - Afterburner chinese heater controller   
    I've had a sneak peak at next year's revised Driving Theory Test...
    Q: Why should you have your tyres balanced when replaced?
    a: To reduce strain on suspension components
    B: To ensure proper control of the vehicle
    3: To make sure your fridge doesn't pop open and all your beer goes everywhere
    IV: All of the above
  13. Thanks
    Pillock got a reaction from dome in Alfa 147 GTA + Antique (dealer's) Mercedes   
    *waves the thread moving wand*
  14. Like
    Pillock got a reaction from Microwave in 307SW welding completed and MOT passed!   
    My ex had an SW, must have been the SE with four electric windows and climate and shizz. Yes, it was glacially slow because only 90hp and weighed more than the moon.
     
    Also, watch out in the winter. I learned the hard way about clearing the roof of snow when I braked a bit going downhill and a sheet of ice slid off the glass roof where the cabin heat had made it all slippy, straight over the windscreen where the wipers utterly failed to move it. 30mph, no visibility, thankfully I could see out the back so stood on the brakes and let my arsehole de-pucker
  15. Like
    Pillock got a reaction from mk2_craig in Welcome to the new forum! Here's some tips and tricks   
    Welcome one and all to the new home of average transport.
    Most of the forum will work exactly how you expect it to, but there's a few differences which will hopefully make your life easier. We'll add to this first post as other things become apparent or we find new options, seriously it's like getting out of a Fiesta Bonus and into a Sierra Ghia with all these new buttons.
     
    Reading posts
    You can hover over a thread title to see a pop-up and choose either first post, or latest post to quickly preview it without clicking into it As before, you can click the star or circle to the left of a thread title (star is if you've participated, circle for threads you've only read) to go straight to the unread post  
    Composing posts
    If you want to only quote a few words from someone else's post, just highlight the words with your cursor in their post and you'll get a "Quote" popup rather than having to quote the whole lot and delete the extra test (Thanks Stanky!) Tags and Prefixes are somewhat different to the old version! A "Prefix" is what appears at the start of the topic title on the forum, and tags appear at the end You start by entering one or more tags. Seperate them by just pressing enter to finish that tag and start a new one. You can then optionally choose one of them to be the prefix by selecting it in the drop-down Default behaviour seems to be that it will automatically select the first tag as  the prefix, so it appears twice. Looks crap but it's a "feature" for now. Deselect it if you want....  
    Image linking and embedding
    You now don't need [ img ] tags around pictures from elsewhere on the web. Simply paste an address that ends in .jpg or .png etc and it will automatically embed it If the image address doesn't end in .jpg or .png try clicking the "Insert other media" button below the text entry field and paste the address in there. When using the file uploader to embed your own photos from your computer, you can just drag them onto the bar below the text entry area. Once you've done that you can click the plus icon on the photo to embed it anywhere in the post (put your cursor where you want it to go first) If you've already used an image somewhere, it doesn't need to be reuploaded. Click "insert other media" and choose "existing attachment" to browse all the images you've ever uploaded. If you don't want the image embedded inline, you can press ctrl-Z to undo (or use the link that appears at the bottom of the compose window saying "use link instead" for a few seconds after it embeds) and it will go back to the old behaviour with just the address of the image  
    Searching
    To find your own content, instead of “My Content” you can use “Search My Activity” which is at the top right of the forum. It’s sort of notifications and all sorts rolled into one but there’s Posts and Topics as sections in the left hand menu Tags and prefixes are clickable to search for other similar content. If you click on Activity on the main menu, there's a detailed search for your own content, member lists (separate tab) etc.  
    Signatures, Display Name, Email address
    Click your username at the top right corner, and select "Account Settings" Edit your signature, display name or email address there. You can also turn off seeing other people's signatures Note signatures don't display on mobile devices to avoid taking up too much room  
    Reactions
    The "like" button is gone, and Reactions are here instead. You've got like, thanks, sad and confused.  No, you can't like your own posts  
    Notifications
    The forum seems to default to "Follow topics I reply to" which is the same as Old Autoshite, however.... The default behaviour is also to email you notifications. Oh no! That's a lot of emails..... Click the Notification Bell at the top right, and choose Notification settings. The four options for notification frequency let you summarise things into one email. The top option doesn't specifically say "emails" as the type of notification can be controlled in the next step. Scroll down and you can toggle emails or notifications for each of the different events (like someone replying to a topic you've followed etc).  You can also turn the notification sound off in that screen if you're thinking of perving over Austin Allegro Equipes (yeah, that picture) at 3am in bed.  
  16. Like
    Pillock got a reaction from davidfowler2000 in AS in the Community - 01.02.2020: the Association of Associated MASSIVS hits Cannock auctions again...   
    The S-Class was only showing a fault for tyre pressure, but tbh if I was selling an S-Class at auction I'd leave a Bluetooth dongle in it and be furiously resetting the warning lights as it lumbered through.
    That red Fiat was hilarious, I guess it's a bad crash repair as the wing was a different colour. But the boot lid was squiffy too, had panel gaps that would make a BL employee blush.
    V6 Twatrag actually seemed relatively quiet, perhaps that's just compared to the number of cars that were knocking their tits off at idle.
  17. Haha
    Pillock got a reaction from w00dy in AS in the Community - 01.02.2020: the Association of Associated MASSIVS hits Cannock auctions again...   
    But

    Your very own climate emergency for £3300
  18. Sad
    Pillock got a reaction from beko1987 in AS in the Community - 01.02.2020: the Association of Associated MASSIVS hits Cannock auctions again...   
    Because he chose a car that would break for many thousands of pounds so cost more than my whole fleet put together 🤣
  19. Haha
    Pillock got a reaction from Walter White in AS in the Community - 01.02.2020: the Association of Associated MASSIVS hits Cannock auctions again...   
    But

    Your very own climate emergency for £3300
  20. Thanks
    Pillock reacted to Sloth in a bowl in AS in the Community - 01.02.2020: the Association of Associated MASSIVS hits Cannock auctions again...   
    The seven categories for today were:
    Rainbow Ray - Car must be a proper colour (not white, black, silver, grey)
    Leather Seat Larry - Car must have leather seats
    Go West (or East) - Car of non-euro origin
    Brexit Barry - Car where the badge was first used in the UK (so no Fords)
    Mrs Sloth's Suburban - 5 doors and a sub 1600cc motor
    Potluck Paula - Anything goes
    Nearly New Nigel - Plate year of 60 or newer 
     
    Now for the actual results from 19th to 1st. Yep this is now a big numbers event.
    19th - Beko - Lots 40, 56, 70, 41, 47, 94, 32 - Total £6600
    18th - Mrs Pillock - Lots 101, 61, 113, 28, 45, 111, 58 - Total £5090
    17th - Cap 70's - Lots 38, 35, 504, 60, 111, 109, 86 - Total £4270
    16th - Hiedel Kakao - Lots 113, 56, 70, 63, 65, 111, 33 - Total £3820
    15th - BL Bloke - Lots 107, 56, 70, 60, 65, 35, 47 - Total £3730
    14th - Chaseracer - Lots 113, 31, 111, 28, 40, 35, 60 - Total £3230
    13th - Antony G - Lots 113, 56, 35, 65, 111, 27, 33 - Total £3225
    12th - DavidFowler200 - Lots 101, 51, 35, 65, 111, 107, 33 - Total £3175
    11th - Clan Campbell - Lots 101, 56, 35, 65, 111, 504, 33 - Total £3015
    10th - Sloth in a bowl - Lots 28, 105, 35, 26, 101, 27, 33 - Total £2970
    9th - Clayts450 - Lots 115, 56, 504, 28, 107, 27, 32 - Total £2825
    8th - Cats In the Welder and Daisy - Lots  40, 35, 111, 41, 65, 504, 47 - Total £2820
    7th - Mrs 70's - Lots 34, 31, 35, 65, 111, 173, 101 - Total £2780
    6th - Brownnova - Lots 113, 35, 504, 41, 111, 27, 47 - Total £2715
    5th - Mrs Brownnova - Lots 38, 105, 54, 65, 111, 101, 33 - Total £2655
    4th - Pillock - Lots 107, 51, 504, 65, 40, 27, 47 - Total £2635
    3rd - Lanky Scumbalz - Lots 101, 31, 504, 502, 111, 56, 60 - Total £2590
    2nd - 6-cyl - Lots 38, 31, 111, 41, 65, 106, 47 - Total £2545
    1st - Hairnet - Lots 105, 31, 35, 504, 111, 26, 101 - Total £2345
     
    Thanks to everyone that took part and those that just came along to be social.
    Well done Hairnet for the win in a dense field of serious shite spotters.
  21. Haha
    Pillock got a reaction from RobT in AS in the Community - 01.02.2020: the Association of Associated MASSIVS hits Cannock auctions again...   
    The S-Class was only showing a fault for tyre pressure, but tbh if I was selling an S-Class at auction I'd leave a Bluetooth dongle in it and be furiously resetting the warning lights as it lumbered through.
    That red Fiat was hilarious, I guess it's a bad crash repair as the wing was a different colour. But the boot lid was squiffy too, had panel gaps that would make a BL employee blush.
    V6 Twatrag actually seemed relatively quiet, perhaps that's just compared to the number of cars that were knocking their tits off at idle.
  22. Haha
    Pillock reacted to Kiltox in AS in the Community - 01.02.2020: the Association of Associated MASSIVS hits Cannock auctions again...   
    I saw the 09 X-Trail parked in a bus stop just before the first M6 toll junction 😂 guy was checking the tyres on the NS. 
  23. Haha
    Pillock got a reaction from catsinthewelder in AS in the Community - 01.02.2020: the Association of Associated MASSIVS hits Cannock auctions again...   
    But

    Your very own climate emergency for £3300
  24. Haha
    Pillock got a reaction from Craig the Princess in AS in the Community - 01.02.2020: the Association of Associated MASSIVS hits Cannock auctions again...   
    But

    Your very own climate emergency for £3300
  25. Haha
    Pillock got a reaction from gadgetgricey in AS in the Community - 01.02.2020: the Association of Associated MASSIVS hits Cannock auctions again...   
    The S-Class was only showing a fault for tyre pressure, but tbh if I was selling an S-Class at auction I'd leave a Bluetooth dongle in it and be furiously resetting the warning lights as it lumbered through.
    That red Fiat was hilarious, I guess it's a bad crash repair as the wing was a different colour. But the boot lid was squiffy too, had panel gaps that would make a BL employee blush.
    V6 Twatrag actually seemed relatively quiet, perhaps that's just compared to the number of cars that were knocking their tits off at idle.
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