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shite_meister

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  1. Like
    shite_meister got a reaction from michael t in Top Gear '89 Highlights   
    excellent, hey do you think its possible for Tony Mason to speak without chuckling? he must think he's a chuckle bro or somesuch honestly, check him out next time he speaks and see the little cunt chuckle with every sentance, I wonder if he adds a cheaky chuckle when delivering bad news like?
  2. Like
    shite_meister got a reaction from mk2_craig in Craig's crud collection - MAJOR UPDATE 31-05-17   
    Aha you bought it, I had a gander at it when I went to see Colin and very nice and original it was too.
     
    I think I took that pic of the blue Cossie at St Catherines one day, I don't normally like the Sapphire Cossie that much but I don't think I'd ever seen one in that colour and I think it looks flange-tastic, must have cost you a pretty penny as it appeared to be very tidy? wasn't off Mr Surcouf was it? I think he had a mint and I mean mint grey cossie parked just in front of your old blue one in that same pic.
  3. Like
    shite_meister got a reaction from Barry Cade in What was the first car you ever wanted?   
    Rover SD1 Vitesse, I've had quite a few since although my dream one was a Targa Red with the deep chin spoiler, I've had red ones and ones with the deep chin spoiler but never in the same car, oh and mine were all completely shit though I suspect even the mintiest SD1 is too. Really felt like I had achieved a personal goal when I got my first Vitesse at 19 although it was a rusty pile of crap in retrospect, ah well love is blind and all that. I still want one.

  4. Like
    shite_meister got a reaction from Magnificent Rustbucket in What was the first car you ever wanted?   
    Rover SD1 Vitesse, I've had quite a few since although my dream one was a Targa Red with the deep chin spoiler, I've had red ones and ones with the deep chin spoiler but never in the same car, oh and mine were all completely shit though I suspect even the mintiest SD1 is too. Really felt like I had achieved a personal goal when I got my first Vitesse at 19 although it was a rusty pile of crap in retrospect, ah well love is blind and all that. I still want one.

  5. Like
    shite_meister reacted to vulgalour in Automotive bull5hit facts thread   
    March 1942.  War is still raging across Europe and some of the rest of the world.  Fun had been rationed to such a point that it was no longer viable.  It was at this point that men and women across the world developed an underground post and telegram network appreciating the mundane and, in their desperation, seeking out anything of interest.  The group would splinter further, some would go on to become mind-numbingly seriously minded train enthusiasts.  Others would end up recording bus journeys and posting their videos on what is now the internet.  Some would go as far as to become amateur radio enthusiasts.
     
    But a few brave souls ventured out into the wilderness determined to make the mundane interesting, amusing and above all never take themselves too seriously.  It was in 1945 as war was coming to an end but life was still fucking miserable in Britain that in spite of rationing, stiff upper lips, structural undergarments and an unremitting optimism of organised fun, Motor Flotsam was born.  An organisation that would later be known as Autoshite.
     
    Now, as then, nobody really cared.
  6. Like
    shite_meister reacted to Station in Automotive bull5hit facts thread   
    The Dennis truck company based their Dennis fire truck front end on Auf Wiedersein Pet's Dennis's face.
     

     

  7. Like
    shite_meister reacted to Des in Fucks sake fit a tracker.   
    Those dirty pikey metal thieving cunts have moved onto stealing complete cars now that scrap's worthless, you may think you're safe because your car is low value, but do just check what it would fetch if breaking, that's what the filthy lazy sub-species will be up to, when they're not fucking their own kids that is.
     

     
    Sub £20 these days, they're good, been running one constantly for three years, just works, anywhere.
    Below is the reply when I was abroad, went for a wander and like a wanker forgot where I'd parked, saved the day.
     
    lat:50.089230 long:14.417822 speed:0.00 dir:11.
    T:01/07/15 14:08
    PWR:ON Door:OFF ACC:OFF
    http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&q=50.089230,14.417822&z=16 Fitted one today to a shitter of a campervan for my bruvs family, classic case of who the fuck would nick that utter heap of wank? But in spite of looking a rake it would easily break for a couple of grand. There's a bunch of wiring for all manner of features but we don't need to concern ourselves, just connect the red and black to a constant supply, add a sim card with a tenner on it, then there's two aerials, one GPS and one for the cell signal. I like to mount these well apart in case they meddle with each other, in this instance easily placed where there's no metal between them and the sky, on a car somewhere like behind grill or in a lamp can be nice, think signal access. Here it is mounted in a secret hidden place, quick half hour job as the interior will need to be all out to rebuild at some point, when it can be even better hid.Easy peasy low spanner rating job, don't even need a spanner.  
    Subhuman filth often abandon their booty for a day or so, this demonstrates the effectiveness of trackers as the cowardly hedgehog munchers fear being traced to their disgusting lair. Obviously this is where a fortunate owner might retrieve their wheels, or an intelligent one will think to wait in the back with a wheelbrace, don't kill the scum right away as you need to cut the fucker open while alive, try to find what's wrong inside the dirty shit eater bastards. When done, fuck the piece of shit into an old bathtub and pour in some traffic film remover until you've just the bones left, now pick these out carefully one at a time, drill an 1/8" hole in each end and cable tie to the next, use white ties. When it's all linked buzz a cuphook into the middle of the skull and hang it off an old standard lamp, should fetch enough off a medical student to cover a new quarter light, ignition barrel and a few quid for your trouble.
  8. Like
    shite_meister got a reaction from warren t claim in Womanly 'clothes washing' & gearbox fluid question   
    Hang on a mo, WTF are we doing talking about washing clothes? surely that was in your good lady's job description when she took the position? literally!Simply hand it to aforementioned woe-man and say "This, Wash, Now"
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