shite_meister

OOOF! nice, is it bronzit beige?

I've always liked E30s, they feel quite compact and no-nonsense, its almost like the car was better than its image. Theres a well informed website called E30zone but ignore the picture galleries and general chat as it will be 21-year olds talking about the same old shit.

I've got these to dick about with:

I'm playing a little game with my missus - I've come home in a different car, I'm going to wait and see how long it takes her to notice that my grey H reg Sierra Sapphire has turned into a grey H reg Sierra hatchback (with alloys). Then I'm going to insist it is the same car and swap them back.

Been watching old episodes of Coronation St where that bloke tries to convince Audrey that she's going nuts?

(no I don't watch it/them)

I noticed that when the Chan-ster closed his Colt door shut it closed with a satisfying deep thud not the tinny rattly sound that mine used to make, still, thats dubbing for you.

Its called the Syfy channel on sky 114, shit me this is hardcore! even an Alfasud Sprint! the dubbing makes me want to remove somebody's face with a chainsaw though.

Jackie Chan in Police Story 2 on the Syfy Channel, 1988 so plenty of old bilge guaranteed as well as some horrific dubbing.

Who's going to mention it first?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law

Yes you're right about the ES300.

Yeah you'd certainly feel at home in the big Lexus, I had to move somebody's Carina the other day and loads of bits like stalks and switches were the same so it'd def feel familiar to you.

And why is that hofficer standing up in the rear of the car? does he not know that it is an hoffence to stand up in a moving aston and rub your genitaila gently against the rear of the head of the Duchess not to mention the fact he have his face mashed to a pulp on the bonnet of the Aston then under the front wheels if the Duch' grabs Willy buy his William in an act of lust? there'd be brain matter all over those wire wheels.

So many questions, so little time.

I don't think I've ever seen a car in that colour, is it faded or did it come like that from the factory? It's bloody awful.

Standard! even when new they looked like that.

I've always hated this VW colour, it looked shit when it was current:

Not quite the same as I wasn't actually driving at the time but some old wanker in a Rover 213 kept beeping his horn in town one afternoon despite the fact no-one could move as the lights were red. Suggested he shut the hell up, he told me to copulate away so I lobbed my newly purchased 99 (with red sauce) in the general direction. It hit the underside of his door frame and then straight in his face via his open window.

Excellent work!!

Like muchly, I do like these since I'm a Lexus LS pervert from the same era or Toyota Celsior if you prefer, I like early nineties Toyotas and Hondas

I hate the rear window on the estates but bloody hell they look like they can handle alot! the one I saw at an auction had the neat fold-away third-row seats do all estates have them?

Whats the crack with your HVAC LCD? I imagine it may well be like the mk1 LS400 which I have, they are guaranteed to go black but you can buy replacements off ebay etc and knowing alot of the switch-gear is the same between Carinas/Camrys/LS/GS I wonder if the LCD panel is the same?

Nice in a dull but reliable and still plenty-of-life left in kind of way, I'd imagine it'll be good on fuel and well screwed together, so it won't set your heart pounding with excitement but sometimes you to get need to get to where you're going to and back with minimal amount of fuss and maximum amount of mpg.

Looks like you got a great bargain there, low mileage, good condition and I like the colour. Thumbs up.

I nearly bought one of these a few years ago when I just wanted some dull yet reliable wheels, I couldn't quite bring myself to buy it but then it was about two and hald grand at the time rather than in the hundreds. Who's going to be first to mention driveshafts then? me?

Nice picards Trigster, I'll take the Lincoln Continental please but you can shove the wheels up your batty for they are the work of a fool, I see what he was trying to do with them wheels but they appear to be 'fucking horrible' Cheers.

Been posted before but still funny stuff from the versatile singer/songwriter John Shuttleworth, you can really hear the emotion behind these lyrics:

Now you may covet a Clio

Or a Mondeo

Marvel at the Montego

Fine but not me, no

 

Now you may be utterly sold on

Your Peugeot, your Proton

Your Mitsubishi Shogun

But I’ll always dote on

Relevant

Admirable skillz there senor Ball-locks, did the bonnet not warp? I doff my beret to you good sir and raise another glass of rose to UR effortz.

I'm self employed, what's a bank holiday?

Its about the only time along with paid sick days and paid holidays where the average 'pleb' is grateful he isn't self-employed I appreciate the trials and tribulations of being self employed but its a choice at the end of the (bank holi)day

Worked Friday, failed mot Saturday, hid in bed on Sunday and worked Monday, Bank Holidays are great.

just to rub it in we have another bank holiday here next Monday oh and no MOTs...or road tax.

Spent Sunday doing my bike CBT then went out for a spin with a mate who owns this old air-cooled boxer-engined BMW R80 and has done since new:

There should be an engine code stamped somewhere, If they are like VW's it will be on a sticker in the boot

I didn't think VWs had their engines in the boot any more

What Trig meant was VW put a sticker on the boot floor with all the chassis codes, colour codes and engine codes, lift up the boot carpet to expose that stickery goodness, unless some scrote has peeled it off or your boot leaks water.

Drill some massive holes at either end so that the crack doesn't get any bigger, then try pulling a length of fine wire through and if it goes from one hole to the other you can be sure tis a crack alrighty.

No need for Captain Tolley's Creaping Crack Cure, simply have a wank onto it then if your gash-batter seeps through then bingo, sperm love cracks.

Or you could scrap the car.

Or you could beat the living shit out of the rear face of the wheel with a mallet whilst visually inspecting the front crack, you'll soon see if its a crack or not.

Or you could just fuck it.

Dunno if this is a re-post but I did try the search function no no avail so....

It's my considered opinion that the seller of that GS is a MASSIVE BELLEND, if only for the "condition of sale" rubbish that he's trying to impose.

 

Have you seen the latest addition to his Ebay ad? He's more than doubled the asking price and is calling people nazis in the Q&A section. What a tool.

 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Citroen-GS-Estate-Shell-/140539501226?_trksid=p5197.m7&_trkparms=algo%3DLVI%26itu%3DUCI%26otn%3D4%26po%3DLVI%26ps%3D63%26clkid%3D8771652172991183403#ht_2878wt_1139

Jesus what a complete and utter twat, he's 'released' a question (a perfectly fair question in my opinion) he was asked by a club member and this is his response:

Q: Why are you breaking a perfectly decent GS Estate? This is causing much discussion on the Citroen Car Club site. If you want a decent GS/A engine for your plane then there are plenty available through the CCC. Please reconsider this auction and sell the complete vehicle for a sensible price to someone who will use it as its maker intended. Rob 29-Apr-11

A: So speaks the voice of someone obviously aquainted with the CCC. Quote:- "sell the complete vehicle for a sensible price to someone who will use it as its maker intended." This is not good publicity for the CCC. This is more akin to comments that I would have expected to have come from an Ayran Nazi rally. A belief that makes out his own use of a vehicle is 'superior' to mine. How is your vehicle use different to mine? This rhetoric does not go down too well. Did you know the maker? Apologies to those of you easy going "good" people of the CCC. There must be many of you reasonable people out there, battling away doing a grand job of keeping cars going. But I have to point out this. Not that I am special in anyway at all. I have lots of faults. But if there were more of you like myself, who buys a 21 year old car and keeps it going for another 12 years and it still looks like this.......there would be *many* more GS's around. What were you doing in the 90's when I bought this car? Polishing your then new Ford Orion? It now appears my "use" of my car is wrong to some. For your information my obviously "inferior use" of Citroens has involved driving from Europe to Asia, bringing back my DS from New Zealand to the UK, emitting flat four burbles all over South Africa, driving a 2CV around parts of the Arctic Circle in *winter*. I am not part of the Broederbond obviously. Sell the vehicle at a "sensible" price? This is an interesting concept. I believe in free markets. A car club member no doubt that undervalues the value of a car, which as a car club is seeking to apply value to. You get what you pay for. If more people put their money where there mouth is, there would be a lot more GS's left. I am not a charity subsidising GS's 4u! You know these are rare, yet this attitude is killing more. What incentive does a non CCC member like myself have for dealing with the CCC? Wrong school tie? If you had Free ads for non members..you would have seen this G. CCC Wake up!

Now don't get me wrong, I what someone does with they're own car rare or not is their choice nobody else's but here we have a chap trying to sell a car that is currently complete but the final sale will not included several crucial componants, who the fuck does that? either break it now and sell the bits or sell the whole car but not both. I've done my fair share of breaking fairly rare cars because nobody wanted them as a whole and they were worth more in parts but the point is they were sold as a whole or the parts listed and sold seperately.

I think he's gone over the top with his reply to the question he was asked, fucking hell if I needed an engine it would save alot of dicking about buying another engine and selling his GS as a whole, but then his car, his choice.

Does that Colour Back stuff fix 'pogweasel pink'? My Golf is a pretty scruffy car, I don't mind that, but I deplore the faded red paint on the rear quarters.

Fuck knows, I've got a bottle here on my bookshelf but its been years since I used it, all I know is that it was good shit and easy to use, T-Cut as mentioned is shit, it involves extra effort and I don't like doing extra effort when its not required. In summary:probably. HTH

I've just ordered some Colour Back for the Saab. If it's rubbish I'll be most put out. (if I actually get around to using it...)

Its good shit but the trick is to actually use it, I've been meaning to polish my red bmw for the last 15 months but I've erm been busy...probably, besides I don't give a fuck about driving a pink car...or at least not enough to do anything about it.