shite_meister

I can make plain number plates up if anybody needs any, no V5 shite to worry about and I can put whateva you want at the bottom like autoshite or something.

Holy shit I like that Zodiac and the Monza, I'd like to have a threesome with them and NOT use any protection.

The problem is that especially the roof areas of rust that will be just the tip of the iceberg, bonded screen? if so you might be looking at a new screen too, basically you need to seriously ask yourself is it worth it? I mean we're all for keeping an old shitter on the road if it has plenty of service life left in it but I wouldn't want to throw thousands on a car worth hundreds unless it had some sort of sentimental value.

It looks like a metallic too, you can average about three hours labour per panel just in prep and paint and thats before any repair work has got involved or any primer/paint/lacquer has been added to the bill so unless its something you'd be doing yourself I think I'd either run it until it falls apart, sell it as is or keep it as a spares car for another one if you like that model alot.

BMW E46 convertible or even an E36 if he was prepared to go for an older model although the E46 will prob fit his criteria better.

'98 Clio will have an immobiliser. Hotwiring it won't work - unless you have the ignition key / transponder close enough to the reader.

I know, it does and we have all working now so its back at the lad's house untill he gets a new ignition barrel for it. The immobiliser circuit was untouched so the immobilser aerial still reads the key nearby so no probs there.

Cheers Mr Bickle.

cheers Nigel I'll give that a try!

I have a young mate who's gutted because the ignition barrel on his first car ('98 Clio) has broken up inside hindering his ability to drive around pointlessly from burger joint to burger joint, as the car is miles from his house in a public carpark I would like to hotwire it to get it back to his house only I've no idea which wires to join (as dodgy as this sounds and someone can PM me if they would rather)

I have four wires to the ignition switch which are red, yellow, yellow with a green tracer and orange. I'm guessing the red wire is one of the wires needed but other than that I haven't a clue, does anyone have a wiring diagram/haynes manual that shows which wire does what? I've tried searching the interwebz but alas it was barren.

I tried the slide hammer treatment in a repo stylee but thanks to Mr Draper's finest shit-quality hardware the bolt appeared to be made of chocholate and snapped off with minimal effort.

As mentioned by others Citroen XM or indeed any floaty-boaty Citroen, I really ought to stop looking at pics of XMs on t'internet else I'll be gazing into a LHM/Tarmacadam pool of disappointment before long.

Reading the gmail headline in thats linked into my works e-mail account:

NASA commits to Orion-based multi-purpose crew vehicle for space exploration

Should have given us a shout whilst you were here! I know alot of the cars pictured having already posted up the pics of the Simca (want it so bad but she won't sell) and the Mehari and yellow Mini, I had to drive that yellow mini once and it was incredible, I don't like the rear lights and the colour is a bit pale for my tastes but it drove like a little honey, easily the best mini I've ever driven, just drove like a 'normal' car i.e not jolting all over the shop.

I saw that red 635CSi in the car park last week, looks like its possibly about to be re-registered here as there were some J-plates in the back, where is the other red 6-series though? I fully intend to own one of these bitches one day so a spares car might be good!

Great pics although you've made my next contribution/spot thread a bit harder now

Trig I work in the parts dept of a commercial vehicle garage and can confirm these were used on loads of trucks, Renaults, DAFs etc and they're available from loads of aftermarket manufacturers like Camelot, TTC, TRP, Durite etc its a pretty universal lamp lens to be honest, if you need any more info I will gladly oblige.

We sell a fuck load of them, there are a few different versions of the lamp body wiring connectors at the rear but if he needs some I can I.D/supply the ones he has.

Most Audis (in particular Audi TTs) and modern BMWs as they're mainly driven by dickheads of the highest order and just don't do anything for me in the looks dept.

RangeRover Sports again because of the owners.

That new MINI Cuntyman because its fackin huge and generally grim.

VW Passats with Bonnet Bras (eh Colin? )

Lotus Elise, again its the sort of owner that makes me hate these cars unfortunately.

Oddly I have to agree with the E-type, sure they look alright but they are 'a bit shit' to sit in and drive I found.

I fappin love your van! the colour really suits it, is it that Gordini blue?

I used to work for Renault and had a few come in for parts, I've driven one and bloody loved it, one thing I've always wondered about is those handle-type over-rider things on the front wings, is it just a styling feature or is there some other reason for them? a bit of an odd after-thought methinks.

sex wee:

I did bid on a set of these wheels but they started getting a bit too pricey. look great though.

Well, having just bought the rancid old dog from the Shitemeister, I've got to decide what to do with it. It looks a bit silly on the standard STEELZ, the bodywork is a bit crumbly here and there, the dash top is cracked etc etc etc. On the bright side, it started on the .0009876 litre of pez that was in it, so it can't all be bad.

Fuck me you want a car with petrol? what next? also that rag placed on the dash was to stop the crack getting bigger no to hide it, that would have been the sort of thing a shyster would do but the funniest bit was you exclaiming that "At least the dash isn't cracked" whilst simultaneously moving the strategically placed rag to reveal a crack the size of which you could have fallen into.

...and its not crumbly its character

OMG it's fantastic

Oh fucking hell don't tell me that, I've just sold it. LOLRZ

No it was wearing its original steel wheels then I fitted some BMW alloys which you see there but its now sat on its original wheelage, either way its always had a matching set of wheels thanks.

It was imported into Jersey in August 1989, oddly I have been in with contact with a previous UK owner who wanted to buy it back. When I got it it had a dodgy starter motor, a banjaxed alternator regulator (which is a seperate unit bolted on the wing) and a bolloxed clutch slave cylinder but after getting a dry bumming from Jaymic I replaced these and used a starter from an old E30 which used the same engine, its been a joy to work on although the brake servos are fucked and thats servos as in plurel, I bought some but its just one of those cars where I had unexplicably lost interest.

Unfortunately Colin wasn't biting with my Brewer style 'Hold ya haand aaat fella' patter and offered a sincere "fuck off" fair enough. Anyway the deal was done, so are you going to buy a bonnet bra for this one Colin?

Well readers Colc has just acquired this delightful vehicle from yours truely, the aforementioned punter asked if I could stick some pictures up as he'd be too busy cleaning his bonnet bra on his Pissrat so here it is in all its vibrant glory:

I know what you mean but there comes a point where its a question of time and effort just to save a couple of quid, and yes as with most parts these days most chrome and stainless steel items are shite quality.

Depending on the state they're in and if you need to prime them I suppose a can of Tough Black in satin would do.

Brand new black bumpers are £20 each, just thinking maybe by the time you've dicked about with primer and paint.....

So its a forgone conclusion Colin? I've had a few other calls about it, remember; he who hesitates, masturbates!

^^You use a special rivet gun, Myg. Good for your project. Daffy to contemplate using nutserts for a friggin trailer hitch for the other AS-er's project! YeeeGod.... why not try velcro or bubble gum then? (shaking head in complete mystification.....)

Erm yes good point I must think before typing.

I like how they're comparing two completely different cars only linked by ancestry.

I belive they're using the Interga Type R as a bench-mark as its considered by many to be amongst the best handling FWD cars made rather than comparing them because they're a similar type of car in terms of performance or the old Rover/Honda history.

As above re: head gaskets.

I used to work in the service dept of an MG Rover 'dealership' (I say dealership it was just the parts & service since the company went tits up) and saw a few of these in, what engine are we talking? a chap used to bring a nice blue V6 in every week to us with new problems, it sounded really nice and had he not stuck some wanky faux rally style mudflaps on dare I say it would have even looked nice. The only other problems I know with these is the clutch hydraulics (I'm pretty sure from memory that the slave cylinder and master cylinder come as one unit) Oh and a few minor immobiliser probs but certainly nowhere near as bad as a Rover 75 in terms of problems.

I seem to recall most of the motoring press were impressed with the handling of the ZS not bad considering it was just a re-heated 400.

If you can't clean the thread up or fit a thread-sert then how about a rivnut? it fits like a rivet in but gives you a thread, they're very good.