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Ta da! Big thanks to @davehedgehog31 Now I've got a long way to go and a short time to get there

It only took 12 years! They're not the most popular of cars but the Ph2 Safrane with the volvo powerplants was always a winner with me. That is, until i removed the engine, put it back, couldn't get it to run, then got it going, then the cooling went, the head gasket followed. I really do have the worst luck with car engines / gearboxes and this one was certainly no exception despite being a Volvo. I'm not a mechanic so i've had to do a lot by trial / error. It's literally the most screwed up then fixed car on the planet. There's nothing on this car i've not buggered up somehow and then had to work out how to fix it and in the process it's cost me more than i'd care to admit. It's been the biggest pain in the arse a car could ever be but for some screwed up mental block of a reason, i couldn't part with it. On a positive note, i've learnt a lot from it that i need to learn when to quit. So the best course of action was to buy another (£600 jobbie - cars were cheap back then) which got scrapped after 8 months, then a 3rd which also got scrapped a couple of years later. I kept both engines (plus loads of other shit which recently got trashed too due to a house move) but I still had the 1st safrane. 7 years ago i put the 3rd's engine into it and that went the same way.. ran instantly but no cooling system despite coolant bleeding out of all the bleed holes. By this point i'd given away the 2nd engine so couldn't try that. Eventually I ended up swapping the head gasket out which was covered in mayo.. It was a pig of a job with it taking 5 weeks for the volvo dealers to even work out which gasket to order. The engine has far less space on the timing side than the volvo 850 so it was really tight in there and two of the bolts took a lot of head scratching. I got it done but despite the new head gasket, the cooling malfunction continued. Last year i had some luck when a couple of local lads came out and plugged in their snap-on kit for less than a penny. It locked up until i started the engine. One of them said he'd never seen that happen before and was stunned. Eventually it pointed to the coolant temp sensor which i knew was wrong as i'd replaced it twice! So they concluded that it had an electrical woe and i set about investigating the impossible again. I'm too embarrassed to tell you what it was but i shall say that it was something simple that i'd completely overlooked for over a decade. Sorted that, cooling fans worked again. All good right?.. well in all the passing years a few other gremlins had set in but i managed my way around those and 2 months after we'd moved again, i was able to collect it and take it for it's first MOT in over a decade. More pics - taken today! Just in the nick of time too. 2 days after the MOT my van went off the road again and so the car that the missus had disliked for years because "it's a fucking dead lump of metal" is now alive and slowly winning her back over now that it's doing school runs so she can still use her car for work. At 2.5L it's thirsty at 17mpg around town - that's 3.7miles per litre. 33mpg on a motorway is pretty much the maximum. Insurance is a pain too but i won't go there. So now i've got it fixed up and back on the road i shall have to SORN it again shortly and keep it as a spare motor.

Off to an early start this morning..in hindsight choosing last night to "reconnect with my Irish heritage" by drinking too much Bushmills while watching the Banshees of Inisherin was a bad idea but we are where we are. Today's collection features a walk, a bus and 4 trains (fml) PC currently 2. Chickpeas will do that to a man.

I've just done something brave. I've imported a 31 year old Lancia. I had a Thema, it was a 16 valve TURBO, it was gold, it had lovely green alcantara, it would have been FAST had it ever worked, but sadly it was broken in many complex and headscratching ways. Having bought it on the promise of restoration, after some considerable time of it lurking in the back of his workshop like an ominous presence the gentleman I bought it from went "Bollox to this" and refunded me. So I no longer had a Thema. Sad times. Because although even having a broken Lancia Thema makes you cooler than the average person, it would be nice to have one that worked sometimes. So I resolved to find another. Not an easy task. And so here's Giovanni, a 1992 Thema V6. He's from the Netherlands, he was bought from a dealer in South Holland, and he has the 2.8 PRV engine (boo, I hear you Volvoists say, but this is a later, much better development with EFi, it sounds marvellous and Thema owners really rate it). Being Dutch, he also has the steering wheel on the correct side, though not for the UK which is backward. But we'll get used to that. He arrived in the dead of night on Sunday, and so far he's been confined to being reversed into the barn and a blast down the few hundred yards of farm track. He needs either a battery or an alternator, as he does not go without a jump and even running him for half an hour doesn't mean that he'll go again (spoiler; he won't), there's an exhaust leak which I think is coming from the centre pipe, and there's an indicator bulb out. After a bit of fettling he'll be in for a test and then I'll start the process of registering in the UK. Btw, he's named after Giovanni Falcone, the Sicilian anti Mafia prosecutor who was assassinated by the Corleonesi Mafia in the Capaci bombing one month to the day after this car was registered, in a convoy that included a couple of Themas. Anyway, have some pictures.

Not as comfy as looks, my home for the next 2 hrs 30 mins. Still the phone charging socket is working and I have the entire Internet to keep me entertained

Two weeks later. Yes. That's a different parking space. It drove there by itself, via a trip to Halfords with @dome and @Lacquer Peel in the passenger seats. With the new glow plugs in it and the new battery in there too, it fires up with barely two turns of the starter. What was really surprising was that after sitting for a week with the injector lines disconnected and the entire atmosphere leaking into the fuel system, all I did was run the glow plugs and crank it. Two turns, and it barked into life. What a fucking trooper. I have yet to sort the non-functioning (but clicking from the switches) windows, and the heater vents that don't change direction. Still. It's no longer a paperweight, it's a functional vehicle. Does anybody want a spaceship Civic?

THE OLD WOMAN, SHES GOT THE DIRECT LINE! I know...... WHAT YOU'RE UP TO!

I did a car thing for the first time in months. Get me. The fuel gauge was suddenly reading zero the other day. I immediately assumed that someone had robbed my fuel but I couldn't see any spillage or damage so drove the car for a bit and it was fine. Went to the garage, lobbed a few liters of fuel in and it still registered nil. So today I took the rear seat out and swept out several years of crap. Yuk. There was a warning that I needed to ensure the fuel was below half level before opening. Unfortunately the only reason I'd be opening this is surely because the fuel sender wasn't working. So I've no idea. Is there another way to tell? Anyhow, it turns out I didn't need to open them as I gave both of them a firm THWACK with a lump of wood and a hammer and the fuel gauge started working again. So thats it. Thats my car thing. Back to shitposting and arguing with strangers it is.

Forgot my powersauce bars so the murderhorn will have to wait for another day

Still one the Transporter theme, here's my Carrimore with some of my Wicker collection. Yes you can squeeze three Minis on the top deck.

The wheels on the buz go round and round...

It was a really nice journey home, very comfortable and no surprise its very happy at 60/70/80. Its been a while since i had a diesel. The old skool turbodiesel power delivery is hilarious but lots of fun once it comes on song. Stirring the pot for the right gear is fine because the gearbox is really nice to use, which I wasn't expecting. Its a bit tricky on the hills by home when I changed up too quickly and caught a face full of turbolag instead of a nice wave of torque. It's clearly a nice example that's been well looked after, cheers again to dave hedgehogs for a smooth transaction.

This is fantastically shit, to the point where it should just be left as it is ford taunus/cortina mk4 import project uk registered v5 | eBay

What you could have had for £9 today! OK I had to pay to get in a model railway show, and put my tightest fitting bobble hat on to get in 😉 From the £1 files, DBS Rocket, Husky split and well loved Barracuda: From the £3 files a Corgi Firebird (which is obviously missing a door card) but a widescreen and Molotov chrome pen later should look dandy: Lasty coming in at 200 kilos is the Dinky Zodiac which is getting a scrub and a new tyre - it even has all 4 door cards!

1977 Lincoln Continental in 1:64 by Autoworld.

Farewell Madeira. Raise the main sail we're bound for the Savage Islands.

A very successful day and the Saab 95 engine is back together including fitting the inlet manifold, carburettor, distributor, fuel pump, alternator, water pump and changing the fuel line from the pump to the carb. Thanks to Andrew from the TSSC and @chaseracer. To improve the looks of our yard Andrew added a very smart Dolomite Sprint for the duration of his visit. The next stage is who wants to help me pop the engine back in the Saab and when?

Been down to Bridgwater to pick up this blue Civic for my mate. He's chuffed. Manual! 102k, was owned by a giffer until the mid teens when she left it in her will to her mechanic, who sold it on to prevent his son ruining it. A bloke bought it, kept it four years then his 23 year old son ran it for a bit. He's now upgraded to an E46 328ci so the Civic was up for sale. Top notch seller tbh. Saw the ex-HMC Chevy pickup going up the M5, as well as some legend A-framing an MG Metro with a Rover 45 😁

The 15th Nationals was held in 1963. A quick web search found this excellent page that shows the class that the Minor competed in. Bonneville 63 (sportscars.tv)

Tren 1.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's a tired bloke walking for the bus 

The days, or rather years, 23 to be precise, of 305 van ownership may be coming to an end. I have come to the conclusion that the body work, to tidy it up, is going to be in the region of £1500. I was having a chat with the guys at the garage about another small van within budget, 2 bags, but anything at that price is basically tired and shagged out. It then turned to estates and I said something the size of your Mazda estate would do. To which he said, well that might be up for sale as we don't really use it now. My lugholes twitched a bit so I asked what they might want for it. They hadn't got as far as that because they aren't in a hurry to sell. I know this Mazda has been well looked after as they have service record and receipts for everything going back years. This is not an unknown car on the forum. Hubnut either did a review or it was on a vid from the FoTU. I'll have to have a rummage on da toob. It's a 94, K reg, Mazda 323 in excellent condition and well looked after. So I'm thinking this is going to be over my budget. So I was asked what I would pay for it. So I said it's got to be worth 2 bags any day of the week. Personally I thought it would Ebay for more than that, 2.5 to 3 grand. Anyhoo, so I said my budget is 1500 so that's all I could do to which he said the immortal words ok it's yours. Fuck me, you could have knocked me down with a one ton feather. It's ideal for me as it's old enough not to have shit loads of, in my view, unnecessary electronics to go wrong. It is a step up for me as it has lecky windows and powah steering which I have never had on a car or small van. So my plan is to take this on in May. Meanwhile I'll get a new wing on the 305 and think what I'm going to do with it as I can't keep two cars, but what is a tatty Lhd 305 van worth ? 500 ? Can't see many people wanting it. The other thing I might be able to do is, while I'm running around Britain with the circus, get the guys at the garage to do the body work when they feel like it and then sell the Mazda back to them when it's done. I think they are selling me the Maz because they said they would like somebody to look after it and they have seen over the years that I get my van serviced and any other work that I can't do at the side of the road they have the pleasure* of doing. I like the Maz coz there aren't many of them around but I like my van coz there are even less of them and it starts some conversations, some good some boring. Blimey! That was a bit long. I hope not boring.

Mine was also a toy fair find, think it still had the dash but no screen Datsuncog sourced Camaro needed screen, dash and hood - but was very tidy otherwies

The calendars have arrived, well the first 30 have anyway, the others are due to arrive with me on Tuesday. I’ll get this first set labelled up and in the post/courier asap.

A rose among thorns at the local aldi this morning.

Not much to report on the Defender lately as it has been running fine and not needing any attention. The only problem that I have had is that it failed to start in the really cold weather, I think that was due to the veg oil solidifying. All good now since I topped it up with diesel. Anyway, I put the Defender to good use today to pick up a new toy - a Bateson 27-16 tilt bed car transporter trailer. I've been after a big trailer for a while and after a couple of false starts I finally managed to get this. I've got two AS worthy things to transport on it in the very near future so stay tuned!

I'm guessing it's either then purple V8 monster or Green Viking Tug and @davehedgehog31 is at it!

On the third train of the day, no photo because I'm surrounded by a hen do Will strip for pez tokens etcetc

Waiting for train 3, nice station this

I seem to have acquired another car. I try to cut down and like a Phoenix from the ashes another vehicle springs Fourth. Need to get a battery and logistics in order to retrieve it, however...

Needless to say. The lights are appreciably brighter and more even in appearance despite 57 year old lenses

...which leads me nicely onto an engineless Dodge Dragster from Datsuncog And those wonderful Majorettes

These Marx lorries also came along for the ride, the first one I found was repainted and it took me a good while to work out who made it! Superkings Porker Majorette Saaab Another Tonka Fun Buggy for my collection Talking of Tonkas, these two have survived amazingly well Corgi Beetle is going in the resto pile - I have another in the spares box which will help Tomte Lardal T1 pickup is not a Galanite, so that's OK. This thing is really cool. Joal Chaparral features a height and pitch adjustable aerofoil and opening fuel caps. Shame that door is missing Purple Dinky Bimmer Also Dinky but from a completely different era. Dash is especially appealing for some reason Corgi Whizzwheels Citroen is a bit mad. Not seen one before, impressed it still has the door window frames etc, loving the parcel shelf too This one leaves me with mixed feelings. Lots of separate chrome bits, opening parts - but the plastic base means it feels oddly light, missing that pleasing heft of the older cars. Still like it though A few Matchbox from various eras This one's a great find - Road Blasters version of the Ruff Trek. Hard to find with the plastic bits intact And lastly a tidy but engineless Cougar Dragster...

Absolutely loads of what I believe to be Welly, and a couple of Summer

This morning 🙁 Battery was so flat even the dashboard clock had gone out. Luckily the motor factors down the road had a battery in stock. Unluckily, it didn’t fucking start and half a mile is too far to walk, carrying a battery. Time to break out the battery charger I bought in 1994, which has a boost / start function. I wondered about buying one of those portable jump pack things but I’m hoping to get another decade or two out of that charger. Drove to the motor factors, picked up the battery and drove home to fit it. Took me 15 minutes to fit the battery and another 15 minutes to get the radio settings back😀 Car is now on just over 100,000 miles so I’ve put almost 20k on it.

reliving my 90s teen fantasies today in Edinburgh. I thought all these type of shops were long gone

Peter Sellers wicker Mini at Goodwood 2009. This left hand drive version was used in the Shot in the Dark film. From film A Shot in the Dark Sellers had another which was RHD Maximum Mini: Pictures of Peter Sellers Hooper Mini emerge - but where is it?

I'm obsessed with this car. I've never been able to find out anything more about it, although presumably there are details of everything that ran at Bonneville out there somewhere. I did manage to find another photograph of it with the dealer/entrant's name but even searching that never gave me any more info. If I ever have some money I would love to build a replica of that (probably without the sign-writing), I reckon it's the best-looking Minor of all time

I might be on the road side tomorrow waiting for the AA! I am going to a Lancia Gamma meeting tomorrow and Friday I ascertained that it starts, but did not have time for a test drive.

Beat me to it.Here's mine,bought last year from a toyfair for £1.00 The screen & dash from Steve Flowers

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/204227069781?hash=item2f8ce1c755:g:4lAAAOSwc7Bj1UTb

These selling them on eBay must actually be losing money in real terms. Most seem to be £16, so £9 off for purchase, £3.50 off for postage, £1.60 off for fees. Profit is not even two quid. Deduct your time and diesel off that and it doesn’t take Theo Paphitis to realise you aren’t going to be making the FTSE 100 anytime soon. 😂

That idea never took off!

Well... Yeah, I hadn't *planned* on taking this door apart again today. The driver's window deciding not to wind up again however had other ideas. I think there's a dirty spot on the motor commutator as it occasionally "skips" while winding, and it managed to stop on exactly that spot. Once I'd stripped the door down far enough to figure out exactly where the motor was and highly technically thump it, it started working again. Because French. Also "exactly the sort of issue to expect on a car that's not been used regularly in forever."

1st Clutch Problem 5/1 2nd Absolutely Knackered 20/1 3rd Stuckin Reverse 2/1 4th Rancid Upholstery 8 /1 5th No Heater 20/1 6th Nasty Rusty 50/1 7th Vag's Revenge 50/1 8th Morning Starter (Withdrawn)

Sometime back I mentioned a cheap Rover 400, which sadly I missed out on and so could not get my shonky car purchasing fix as planned. Yesterday I came across a Mercedes W(S if you're being pedantic)210 320CDi estate for scrap money. 'Just needs a radiator M9'. Luckily I have a pile of Mercedes W210 radiators in the garage (don't ask, I don't know how it's happened either...). It's also definitely not* got collapsed spring perches. My partner has been asking after a replacement for the Clio, and the brief I've been given is as follows: Must have a big boot, able to consume a pram and two large dogs Must be fast. My partner defines fast as 'Like the Subaru', which is 0-60 in a blistering 9 seconds if some random specs website is to be believed. Must be fuel efficient. The Clio sets the bar at 40mpg mixed use currently. Must look good. Entirely subjective, but my E430 wagon has received 'good looking' approval from my partner. I reckon that's basically approval to buy this car. She has already approved the looks of the E430, so the E320CDi is logically the perfect vehicle as it will absolutely* do 40mpg on a very long run and should move itself along faster than the Subaru. The fact that it needs work is a minor technicality. I really, really, need to stop procrastinating and punt some shit as we are completely overrun with motors currently.