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Cock arse bollocks shit (and the F word and C word too)


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13 replies to this topic

#1 ONLINE   wuvvum

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Posted 03 May 2008 - 10:14 PM

Remember this, from the eBay tat thread?

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Well, I picked it up today. And I dearly wish I hadn't. Here it is sitting folornly having just been dragged off the A52 by my Trooper.

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It managed about six miles. Trundling along the A52 at about 45 or so and suddenly there was a rattling noise, an almighty bang and the rear wheels locked up. Having slithered to a halt I took the engine cover off and this is what I saw.

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Basically what had happened was the spare wheel carrier, in the side of the van

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had collapsed and plonked itself onto the propshaft, which then snapped under the strain.

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By the time I'd brought the van to a halt, the front section of the propshaft had managed to flail around and take out the brake and clutch lines and the handbrake mechanism, so I had no means of stopping whatsoever. It's also pushed the gearbox back on its mount, which is a flimsy home-made job that looks like it was made from a folded coke can. The metal the propshaft is made of is about the thickness of a coke can too - very odd.

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These were taken when the van was sat on the back of the AA truck. As you can see it's a bit of a mess under there. Not helped by the fact that whoever fitted the Sherpa engine and box made a complete bodge of it (the ignition switch was a rocker switch in the engine compartment, not fixed to anything, just hanging there by its wires, and the terminals weren't insulated so it kept shorting out on the block; and the starter motor was activated by touching an earth wire onto the starter solenoid). Oh, and the "75,000 mile" engine smoked like an absolute cnut, both out of the exhaust and into the cab, and the 5-speed gearbox has no 5th gear. So all in all I'm not at all happy. I can't even weigh the chuffing thing in cos it's all fibreglass.

On the plus side, during the brief few minutes I had it running it seemed to drive OK, in a slow, heavy, wandery kind of a way, and being an ex-ambulance it has a reasonably high-geared diff for an old van. The problem is that to repair it I've got to undo all the bodgery that was done when the diesel engine was fitted before I can start on the repairs proper. And if I'm going to do that I might as well fit a Montego turbo diesel engine and a five-speed box of the kind that actually has five gears. Then all I have to do is rebuild all the broken bits. Anyone know where I can get a propshaft for a 1968 Morris LD van? :roll:

#2 Guest_greenvanman_*

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Posted 03 May 2008 - 10:18 PM

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:shock:

That's about as unlikely an incident as you could hope (not) to predict. Glad you didn't come to any harm.

#3 OFFLINE   pogweasel

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Posted 03 May 2008 - 10:22 PM

What a bummer! :shock: I was tempted by that too, glad I didn't. Any chance of recourse or not? Though every cloud and whatnot - GR8 4 puttin a silly engine in. Bust the running gear out of your Celsior "ftw" :lol: :lol:

#4 OFFLINE   seth

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Posted 03 May 2008 - 10:30 PM

What a bummer! :shock: I was tempted by that too, glad I didn't. Any chance of recourse or not? Though every cloud and whatnot - GR8 4 puttin a silly engine in. Bust the running gear out of your Celsior "ftw" :lol: :lol:

NO! The Cadillac!That all looks/sounds dreadful I've had a bellhousing go bang (on my old Rapier). It was a loud one indeed!Prop shouldn't be an issue as end flanges are often common sizes and if you've got the ends then its easy enough to get one made up. Some people do it themselves but I prefer leaving it to the pros since its a nasty whizzy thing I don't really want coming to pieces....

#5 OFFLINE   wuvvum

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Posted 03 May 2008 - 10:49 PM

Any chance of recourse or not?

Wouldn't have thought so - chap is moving to Spain in a few weeks so probably doesn't give a toss. I'll email him anyway tomorrow and attach pictures of the damage, and see what his response is. If I don't get anything from him I'll just have to neg him and fork out for the repairs. It's going to work out to be a chuffing expensive van by the time I'm done - the Trooper used £60 of diesel to go and fetch it, which works out at a frankly rather pants 25mpg, and I've still got to get it towed from its current temporary parking spot in Norwich to somewhere more permanent where I can work on it. The only thing that brightened up the day was seeing that superb home-made vintage car replica powered by a 2-stroke Commer diesel, as featured in Practical Classics a few years back - it passed us at full warble on the A17. What a noise. Maybe I should fit a Commer two-stroke to the van? I am half considering putting a much bigger engine into it - there's plenty of room, and I'm not going to do enough miles in it for fuel consumption to be a major concern. The recovery truck driver suggested a Rover V8 with a four-barrel Holley. The worrying thing is I reckon a Rover V8 would fit...

#6 ONLINE   mouseflakes

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Posted 03 May 2008 - 10:51 PM

Oh coboblers!That's really bad luck - to suffer additional widespread damage from flailing, broken mechanical components too. Double coboblers!

#7 OFFLINE   Volksy

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Posted 04 May 2008 - 12:52 AM

Crikey :shock: P.S. I'm with pog on the celsior transplant...

#8 OFFLINE   Torsten2001

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Posted 04 May 2008 - 07:37 AM

That would make me cry, I'm very sorry for you!

#9 OFFLINE   Mr Lobster

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Posted 04 May 2008 - 07:39 AM

Bastard. I'd be very deeply pissed off now in your position and would have to fight the urge to leave it somewhere and forget about it very strongly.Hope you can get it sorted, I do like the Rover V8 idea myself :D

#10 OFFLINE   nigel bickle

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Posted 04 May 2008 - 07:40 AM

What a bummer. Kinda nice to know its not just me that gets ridiculous faults.I reckon 2 choices: weigh it in -even if it fibreglass, or stuff a decent engine in -biggest you can find. Bit thats kinda dependant on the level of love, commitment, time etc etc. Tough call -glad I dont have to make it!Good luck
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#11 OFFLINE   mirafioriman

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Posted 04 May 2008 - 08:50 AM

Look on the bright side, mechanical repairs are always easier to do than repairing rust! You could of course always put it back on ebay, there may be someone looking for a project. The van looks tidy in the pictures. I think you did pretty well getting 25MPG with the trooper. A lot of people say they get 30-40MPG from a big 4X4, in my experience they are liars! It does not seem to make a difference if it is a Trooper, Discovery, Cruiser or whatever 25 is about all you get!

#12 OFFLINE   RENOMAD

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Posted 04 May 2008 - 09:30 AM

Aww Maaan---Sorry for the bad luck.But look on the bright side--At least nobody was hurt,especially when the brake lines were trashed.John

#13 OFFLINE   Ratdat

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Posted 04 May 2008 - 10:47 AM

Put it on the trooper chassis :lol:

#14 OFFLINE   bigstraight6

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Posted 04 May 2008 - 10:53 AM

Bloody hell, thats tragic wuvv's, don't give up on it though as it looks quite a sound van (GR8 for camper) and although I love the idea of fitting a compact Rootes TS3 you might struggle to fing one! replacing the Perkins Prima type diesel and associated gearbox ex-LDV 200 series is the best bet, being fairly easy to source, the propshaft is a bit of a bugger, wonder if an LDV one could be adapted?
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