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Shite TV


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#1 OFFLINE   Mash

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 09:15 AM

Because I’m too cheap to get sky, the wonders of Freeview are enabling me to watch all the cool shows I’ve been missing out on before, like The Sweeney and The Professionals, both ace for car spotting as we all know.Anybody been watching Dempsey & Makepeace on ITV3 over the last couple of weeks? I haven’t seen this show since it was first broadcast in 1984 and even then have only vague memories of it as a 9 year old kid. To be honest I can kind of see why it hasn’t been on mainstream telly for ages; it’s pants. :( Whilst there are some decent street scenes and Glynis Barber is rather nice to look at, the acting is piss poor and the stories are weak. Bit of a disappointment for me really in the Cult TV stakes. Give me Jack & George any day!One I would like to see again is The Return Of The Saint. Extremely cool theme tune like Dempsey & Makepeace, but is it too going to be a huge anticlimax? :?:

#2 OFFLINE   ajcherry

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 09:56 AM

I have to agree with you Mash that The Sweeney and The professionals are top shows for shite spotting. And of course my other favourite on ITV4 is Minder more of a comedy drama but equally as good most of them being shown at the moment from around 1981 ish.In fact i find myself only looking in the TV guide at ITV4 especially since ITV4 went daytime.They repeat them the following morning.Even my 11yr son likes The Professionals mainly because he`s yet to see an episode when Bodie and Doyle haven`t fired a gun!
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#3 OFFLINE   Spottedlaurel

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 10:04 AM

Freeview is as far as we go too with the TV. Regrettably I keep missing Minder, but invariably there’ll be some kind of Road Wars/Police, Camera, Action thing on. I rather enjoy Police, Stop! Minimal commentary (Tony Stamp off The Bill?), far better than Alistair Stewart’s waffling.

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#4 OFFLINE   Mr_Bo11ox

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 10:21 AM

I havent got a telly full stop! so I cant see any of this stuff, or 'britains got Talent' :cry:

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#5 OFFLINE   r.welfare

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 11:11 AM

I reckon I've seen all the Road Wars episodes now. Always of interest as it's usually local, being Thames Valley Police. Dempsey & Makepeace is definitely shite telly but I still try to catch it! The jury's out on Police Stop! for me, I think the commentary is a bit annoying TBH. Nothing beats the episode of Police Camera Action where they transport the liver through London, anyway :lol: The irony of working for one of the UK's biggest cable TV companies is that I'm not even in a cable area (neither is our Head Office, come to that) so I can't take advantage of the cracking staff deal...it's Freeview for us too, unfortunately.

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 11:26 AM

I've got Sky so I can watch all sorts of crud, generally Cops and anything presented by Sheriff John Bunnell.Also Road Wars had a cracking old chase with a Kia Pride - with whitewalls intact!Though in all honesty I don't watch a lot nowadays, just films really! And Quantum Leap.

#7 OFFLINE   Marty

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 11:58 AM

I cant see 'Britain's got Talent' :cry:

I would rather have live scampi poured down my trousers than watch that. Most of the time I listen to the wireless. That is not to say I don't watch any TV at all, just not much. I do however own all 4 series of Bugs on DVD and Crime Traveller - where the bad guys always seem to drive some lovely Garlic flavoured tat, mostly DS's and ID's. And the good guys drive round in cabrio shite (Fiat Uno Cabrio anyone - lovely!)Road wars featured my village once - for months I rode past a section oc chain link fence on the railway bridge that had a big hole punched in it and wondered what had caused it - then one night Voila - some chavvy gets in an Orion being chased lost it on the bridge and went bouncing through the fence. Kwolity.

#8 OFFLINE   Ross_K

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 12:05 PM

Police, Camera, Action is always great for a bit of shite, although that Alastair Stewart is a bit of a pompous wankah.Check the rust on the Fester in this one:

#9 OFFLINE   mk2_craig

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 12:16 PM

Alastair Stewart is a bit of a pompous wankah.

Didn't he get NAILED 4 DIC ? The definition of irony.I can't see YouChoob @ work, but if it's the one where he brakes and the bonnet falls off... I used to own a car like that :lol:

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#10 OFFLINE   Mr Lobster

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 12:56 PM

Anybody been watching Dempsey & Makepeace on ITV3 over the last couple of weeks? I haven’t seen this show since it was first broadcast in 1984 and even then have only vague memories of it as a 9 year old kid. To be honest I can kind of see why it hasn’t been on mainstream telly for ages; it’s pants. :(

No! Though I did see it in the listings and think that I might sit down and watch it sometime so now I won't bother as I think watching it now would spoil the memory that 10 year old me has of watching it 'back in the day'.Occasionally watch the Dukes Of Hazzard though which is obviously Kwalitee :PI do like a bit of Motorway Patrol though on Men and Motaz ( before it turns in to Men and Big Jugs at about 9pm), nice bit of New Zealand shite on there sometimes and the Police seem VERY fair and actually use common sense!

#11 OFFLINE   Electric Leyland

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 01:30 PM

Minder is my favourite all rounder for kit spotting plus quality of show, very closely followed by The Sweeney (it's neck and neck really). Always used to prefer the Sweeney, but having watched both shows to death over recent years, Minder always leaves you feeling happier when the credits come up, not only for the tune and the last scene hilarity, but because the streets of late 70s/early 80s for me are slightly more interesting than the mid 70s, bit more foreign stuff going on (i.e. French). But there's not much in it. The Professionals equals both these shows for kit spotting. But, BY GOD is it a load of dated old rubbish! The opposite end of the scale for quality. It breaks records for bad acting, ridiculous plots, and cringe worthy scripts. Saw one the other week where there was some sort of low lever racial altercation at a bowling alley between two fellows, resulting in an undercover stake out, some poisoning, and then Cowley deciding that its surely the work of racially motivated terrorists. Not run of the mill terrorists, no. NUCLEAR bomb terrorists. You know, the home made type, with a ticking clock on the top. And he was right! Luckily the RAF and the Paras all got involved, some shots of harriers flying in formation etc, the usual sweaty faced "oh which wire do I cut, only 5 seconds to go, cant remember" etc etc, and finally the dispute over bowling alley etiquette and decorum was restored.ESPN classic sports channel (Sky 442) sometimes shows old horseracing with Red Rum and the like, tons of fab background spotting in those, car parks, horseboxes, trucks, and the race always has an old Morris ambulance and a Rover or Volvo in shot following the race. Final point to make. Despite all this, I've recently discovered THE best programme to watch for kit spotting, without any shadow of any doubt, which is usually just 60 minutes wall to wall street scenes and cars being tailed 1977-79ish, is in fact …….. The Return Of The Saint*Except that’s a shit programme as well. *Don't bother with the episode set in Venice. A whole hour of my life completely wasted.

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#12 OFFLINE   Spottedlaurel

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 02:34 PM

*Don't bother with the episode set in Venice. A whole hour of my life completely wasted.

Yes, Venice not ideal for spotting is it? Doubtless those over on Nautishite quite liked that episode though.Minder’s definitely the best compromise for me between plot and spotting. An unusual Luton-bodied Datsun pickup in one episode.Thinking of which, when we first got Freeview they were going through old Lovejoy episodes and he had a Datsun pickup. Added bonus there was that it was set in the Suffolk barn where Mrs SL would get married some years later.

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#13 OFFLINE   Pillock

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 09:25 PM

PoAlastair Stewart is a bit of a pompous wankah.

Yes he is. I once repaired his computer, admittedly not very well, and when it came back in for another go it had a two-page letter detailing how he was a very busy tv journo who needed constant use of his pc. the tone it was written in implied he was a far more important human than me. shouldn't flippin' break it then should you? asshat.

#14 OFFLINE   Simon M

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 10:29 PM

Alastair Stewart is a bit of a pompous wankah.

Didn't he get NAILED 4 DIC ? The definition of irony.

Yep - he appeared at Basingstoke Magistrates Court, a mere ten minute walk from my workplace!

#15 ONLINE   Richard

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Posted 19 April 2008 - 06:41 AM

More than once, I believe. In an early episode he mentioned that he'd been caught, paid the price and learned his lesson. But no.

#16 ONLINE   MrRegieRitmo

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Posted 19 April 2008 - 12:29 PM

Nautishite

Bet you'd get plenty of interesting results if you googled that! :shock:

#17 OFFLINE   reallyloud

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Posted 19 April 2008 - 02:40 PM

I used to enjoy those wierd Japanese godzilla type films they used to show in the 80's - a mix of excellent modelling studio skills and real life late 60's/early 70's street scenes. However for UK street stuff I recall the Children foundation films which were of the period and had plenty of shite in them. 'Sammys Super T-shirt' and a commer van sticks in my mind for some reason.I'd love to dig up some of the original William Woolard Top gears. Quite austere and usually had vague and non discriptive verdicts on cars of the time. I think the first ones appeared in the late 70's. Many of the 80's ones seem to feature Tony Mason whooping and giggling like a school girl while driving fire engines.

#18 OFFLINE   Ross_K

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Posted 19 April 2008 - 04:41 PM

Yes he is. I once repaired his computer, admittedly not very well, and when it came back in for another go it had a two-page letter detailing how he was a very busy tv journo who needed constant use of his pc. the tone it was written in implied he was a far more important human than me. shouldn't flippin' break it then should you? asshat.

You should have planted some donkey porn on it and phoned The Sun.They'd probably pay good money for a scoop like that.

#19 OFFLINE   bigstraight6

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Posted 19 April 2008 - 10:31 PM

Over the last couple of weeks, I've intorduced my two boys to the institution that is 'Minder', and they love it! they oldest boy now has an interest in eighties tat and cockney rhyming slang! there is hope for the future of Blighty after all :lol:
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#20 OFFLINE   Mr_Bo11ox

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Posted 19 April 2008 - 10:56 PM

Yes he is. I once repaired his computer, admittedly not very well, and when it came back in for another go it had a two-page letter detailing how he was a very busy tv journo who needed constant use of his pc. the tone it was written in implied he was a far more important human than me. shouldn't flippin' break it then should you? asshat.

You should have planted some donkey porn on it and phoned The Sun.They'd probably pay good money for a scoop like that.

ha ha, 'DONKEY PORN' LOL! 'HOT TEEN COLLEGE DONKEYS WHO JUST LOVE TO EAT BIG CARROTS'

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Posted 19 April 2008 - 10:59 PM

I havent got a telly full stop! so I cant see any of this stuff, or 'britains got Talent' :cry:

I watched 10 minutes of this to see what it actually was and have now re-evaluated my life in general.According to the Internet, at its peak this show attracted 13.5 MILLION viewers, a 51.7% audience share. It beggars belief - over half of people who watch TV are this thick? Moronic enough to enjoy watching some gravel-voiced, concrete-faced bint attempting to make some ferrets dance on camera? Not an exaggeration!I give up on people. If 51.7% of TV-viewing humanity watch "Britain's Got Talent", it just isn't worth it. I'm never off to the pub again. Unless I'm at work obviously. And I won't talk to anyone. I'll just point at which drink I want. Crisps might be a problem, they keep them under the counter.Conclusion: I despair.

#22 OFFLINE   MrRegieRitmo

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Posted 19 April 2008 - 11:37 PM

These shows really do my head in, they're all just a different take on the same tired old format & I can't stand them. Reality shows - when will they ever end? How to solve a problem like Maria, Please sir can I have some more, Pop Idol, Pop Stars, Big Brother, I'm a Celebrity, Hell's Kitchen, X-Factor, Dancing on Ice, Strictly Come Dancing, Celebrity Wrestling, Britain's (think it's) got Talent, Grease, how many more will they inflict on us????My girlfriend's family, her included, seem to adore them & my family get stuck into them too. Me on the other hand, they just make me cringe! I couldn't give a toss about any of them, but of course when I'm in someone else's house I can't very well change channel! :roll:

#23 OFFLINE   Richard

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Posted 20 April 2008 - 06:46 AM

I'll say one thing for Britain's Got Talent- it's not often Piers Morgan can sit with two other people and be the least odious one.

#24 OFFLINE   Mr Lobster

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Posted 20 April 2008 - 08:41 AM

I avoid all of these because they are, without exception, utter fuggin shite for vacuous empty headed living brain donors (generally) and it despairs me that so many people dedicate so much time to watching this tripe.saw the auditions for Britains Got Talent taking place in Manchester some months back, must have been 500 people queing outside in the rain and all for their 'big chance'Get a life.

#25 ONLINE   pogweasel

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Posted 20 April 2008 - 08:48 AM

Yes he is. I once repaired his computer, admittedly not very well, and when it came back in for another go it had a two-page letter detailing how he was a very busy tv journo who needed constant use of his pc. the tone it was written in implied he was a far more important human than me. shouldn't flippin' break it then should you? asshat.

You should have planted some donkey porn on it and phoned The Sun.They'd probably pay good money for a scoop like that.

ha ha, 'DONKEY PORN' LOL! 'HOT TEEN COLLEGE DONKEYS WHO JUST LOVE TO EAT BIG CARROTS'

ULTIMATE LOL!!1!z!I think Reg_Bo11ox has the right idea by not having a telly. I quite often threaten to luzz ours out of the window if 'Er Indoors is watching something particularly vacuous (especially if it has the word "Holby" in the title).

#26 OFFLINE   pompei

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Posted 20 April 2008 - 09:18 AM

Ours went pop the other week, but unfortunately Beloved had a new one bought by the weekend :roll: Mr B, do you get problems with the tv detector vans? I've heard stories about sans-tv folk being harrassed by the Licence Gestapo as no-one can believe they are a telly free zone.

#27 OFFLINE   Torsten2001

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Posted 20 April 2008 - 09:24 AM

I didn't have a telly until the Missus moved in, got hassled by post with the TV Licencing people until I could be bothered to write to them and tell them I would never have a telly, six months later a bloody huge telly was delivered and now while my true love watches f*cking awful shite on the box all bloody day I'm going to spend a bit of quality time with my Lada Samara wheels then come home and let this site amuse me! Thanks everyone

#28 OFFLINE   AnthonyG

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Posted 22 April 2008 - 05:23 PM

I didn't have a telly until the Missus moved in, got hassled by post with the TV Licencing people until I could be bothered to write to them and tell them I would never have a telly, six months later a bloody huge telly was delivered and now while my true love watches f*cking awful shite on the box all bloody day I'm going to spend a bit of quality time with my Lada Samara wheels then come home and let this site amuse me! Thanks everyone

Torsten, judging by the pic you posted of her, I would just live with it :D !!

#29 OFFLINE   Mr_Bo11ox

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Posted 22 April 2008 - 05:49 PM

These shows really do my head in, they're all just a different take on the same tired old format & I can't stand them. Reality shows - when will they ever end? How to solve a problem like Maria, Please sir can I have some more, Pop Idol, Pop Stars, Big Brother, I'm a Celebrity, Hell's Kitchen, X-Factor, Dancing on Ice, Strictly Come Dancing, Celebrity Wrestling, Britain's (think it's) got Talent, Grease, how many more will they inflict on us????My girlfriend's family, her included, seem to adore them & my family get stuck into them too. Me on the other hand, they just make me cringe! I couldn't give a toss about any of them, but of course when I'm in someone else's house I can't very well change channel! :roll:

I thought about this the other day. i wonder if they really are any more vacuous than previous saturday night dross, like 'New faces' or family fortunes or fuggin 'saturday night at the Palladium' or other such dross. I came to the conclusion that, while utterly shit, they are probably no worse than any other saturday nite TV shite.

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#30 OFFLINE   mk2_craig

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Posted 22 April 2008 - 08:41 PM

Depends how you perceive it, looking back Bullseye was utter rucking fubbish but it kept me amused as a kid somehow, probably cos the Metro City X that nobody ever won was worth more money than the entire Lego range at the time.

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