ajcherry Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 ...when you fill you car up with petrol and it doubles in value....the tyres on the swings in the local kids playground have more tread on than yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pompei Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 You've got a sticker on the back window which says We've seen the lions at Longleat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Ross Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 When a bird shits on it, you leave it, thinking that it looks like the face of an old History teacher from years ago...........You name the car, and always refer to it as that, even to people who hardly know you. i.e. "Colin had trouble getting up that long hill yesterday, must check his oil and water soon" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Case Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 .....when the fenders on fishing boats are in better condition than your tyres Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mouseflakes Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 You've got a sticker on the back window which says We've seen the lions at Longleat...or 'Watch out, watch out, there's a Humphrey about' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Ross Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 If it got pinched, you would be more concerned about the tenners worth of fuel you had put in the previous night, and the 2 quid socket set you got from thecar boot sale................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 You've got a sticker on the back window which says We've seen the lions at Longleat...or 'Watch out, watch out, there's a Humphrey about'Or a sticker saying "Dont blame me I voted Labour" (circa 79 IIRC) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRegieRitmo Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 You've got a sticker on the back window which says We've seen the lions at Longleat...or 'Watch out, watch out, there's a Humphrey about'Or a sticker saying "Dont blame me I voted Labour" (circa 79 IIRC)Or "Put a tiger in your tank"or "Just ask for Tom"(Texas Homecare)or on the rear bumper "Keep your DISTANCE"You still have a Comic Relief squashed tomato or red nose attached to the front of your car from circa 1991 / 93.You have a set of those Halfords human fingers protruding from your boot bought when they were the height of fashion.You still have a set of those travel sickness strips of plastic that ran from your rear bumper down to the ground (god knows how they were supposed to work).Your car has become eligible to park in the 'One Make parking' zone at the Bromley Pageant (currently accepting cars upto 1992). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 .... Local pikeys post notes through your door offering free pickup for scrap cars, as seems to be happening to me a lot lately We must have a shite caravan cos we've just had pikeys at the door trying to buy it. Did any of your pikeys drive a rusty white Transit with ladders on the roof? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRegieRitmo Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 Did any of your pikeys drive a rusty white Transit with ladders on the roof?That's probably not specific enough! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 I know OK, I think it was either a V or an X plate and the driver was a woman who looked like a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Bo11ox Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 I wouldn't say that woman looks like a man but if her jeans were cut any lower we'd know for sure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChinaTom Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 When the smell of the vinyl and whine of the back axle trigger a hankering to call into a Jet station and buy a Texan (...the big one). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mk2_craig Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 You know you're driving shite when you're secretly pleased that somebody's nicked the cheapo wheeltrims fitted by a proud previous owner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milford Cubicle Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 When a gaffer-taped bumper is the least worst thing about your car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j-j Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 ..when you pay less for the higher spec version that's the same age as the lower spec..when you can tip neat cooking oil in the filler and it makes no difference at all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Case Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 ..... when you apply the brakes and the headlights come on (it did happen to me on one of my Saabs ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 You know you're driving shite when...you wish the temperature gauge and the petrol gauge were the other way round. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milford Cubicle Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 ..when you can tip neat cooking oil in the filler and it makes no difference at allI've been tipping all kinds of stuff into mine, used engine oil, petrol, kerosene, waste vegetable oil - anything but diesel. Still keeps running - blast it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mash Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 ....when someone would be doing you a favour by running into that rusty wing so you could have it fixed for free.Please, anyone???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volksy Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 You know you're driving shite when you're secretly pleased that somebody's nicked the cheapo wheeltrims fitted by a proud previous owner. One of mine on the Shitcento flew off the other day.. one down three to go.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CortinaDave Posted November 15, 2008 Author Share Posted November 15, 2008 Your phone is worth more than your carThe change in your pocket is worth more than your carYou pass a banger racer's lorry and they look down at your car, drooling.Your neighbours would rather you were gary glitter than have you lowering the tone with your motor in the streetunenlightened people say "why dont you just buy a DECENT car"any old key will open your car... in fact a penknife will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timewaster Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 Someone else will always insist on driving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VWPowered Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 when old people overtake you in crappy 206's :?the badges are metal not plasticthe bumpers are chrome not plasticthe number plate isnt yellow/white or plasticyou put more oil in than petrol, in winter you light a small candle to defrost the windscreen when your landlady asks if your opening a scrapyard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garethj Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 any old key will open your car... in fact a penknife will.You lock your car? There's nothing valuable in mine so I'd prefer toerags didn't smash a window to find that out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j-j Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 ... when your petrol sounds like a diesel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 When your sounds are via an 8 track tape system and your security system is a krooklock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CortinaDave Posted November 15, 2008 Author Share Posted November 15, 2008 you develop a sixth sense for which of the many knocking noises your car makes you can ignore, and which are "stop driving now" noises Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
25v6turbo Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 When after its rained the drivers door is difficult to open/close due to the whole car flexingpeople look at you in disgrace after remembering how nice the car was when new...no boy racers tailgate when they eye up the Witor towbar...neigbours ask if it actually runs/moves under its own steam....When you got to go outside 10 mins before work to warm it up,as it just won,t run when stone cold...When you cause road accidents as people stare in disbelief that this thing is comming past themAny key including your house key will enter your car and maybe even start it,my house key does both,and my wifes key does both aswell.The neigbours who are nice people don,t even say hello when you are working on your Shite.You leave a trail down the road of either oil,water,coolant or smoke every time you go outEVERYONE in a posh area lets you out at junctions through sheer fear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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