the downside of running around in a shitter

[ayd]

Well what a fun dayDriving home from work in the Audi and suddenly there's blue lights."Just doing random vehicle inspections Sir" is the explanation......which in my view translates to, lets check it's taxed and insured because it's old!!!!Fair enough, nothing to hid so off they pop looking at tax disc, tyres, pnc check...alls fine and dandy."We've had some reports of thefts Sir, mind if we check the insides just as a precaution"...which again translates to because your wearing jeans and a hoody we suspect you are a bit dodgy....Fair enough nothing to hide again so fine by me, sure Mr Bobby, you do what you have to do to justify your income.Passenger footwell is my new work laptop MAC Book Pro and next to it, my old work laptop that due to the new one arriving the company allowed me to buy at a decent discout."Can I ask Sir if you have the recipts for these plese"Errr...well no as the shiney one is my new work laptop bought for me by the company I work for and the rather used looking one is my old looking one I've bought off them for my Wife to use...So he gives me a glance as if to say, Old Audi 100, Doesn't wear a suit to work but has 2 laptops.....yeah right!!!So he continues round the inside of the car, with his buddy watching me like a hawk as if I'm going to leg it...and they find nothing else."Well Sir I'm not too happy abut this, you have 2 laptops and no recipts, etc..etc.. etc.."I explain that even if I had bought them, the likely hood of me carrying around the recipts as proof of puchase is a bit stupid etc..this copper is just not having it.Ok I say here's my business card, please ring my Office ask for my Boss and he can provide proof of purchase, well I open my wallet to get a card out and he spys my 2 gold cards....jesus christ it all kicks off now.....he has the contents of my wllet out across my bonnet ad everything. by this point I'm getiing a little wound up and keep insisting he rings my Boss..All to no avail, they confiscate the laptops as my cards are registered in my name and I carry my driving licence so they cant deny that and now I have to go to the Police station to produce documents for the car and for the laptops......I'm really really annoyed and I'm convinced if I was driving my Saab this would not be in any way suspicious but because I CHOOSE to drive my old Audi instead I'm an instant criminal!!!!Needless to say I have now got the 2 proofs of purchase for the laptops and my Boss is going to drop them round and take me to the cop shop so he can give them a bolloking too!!!!P.S not all coppers are arseholes and I apreciate the work the do but somehow I always seem to run in to the tits!!!

[55bloke]

Jeez, and then they wonder why no-one respects them any more!

[Timewaster]

I've never been pulled over in the shite astra, or any of my shite for that matter.The Sierra catches their attention rather more than I'd like though.I bet it will be a right arse ache to get your stuff back too.

[r.welfare]

Sorry to hear that Ayd, in 13 years of driving (mainly) sheds I have been stopped by the police only twice, and both of those times were in my mother's Metro when I was 17 for driving a little too rapidly around Newbury town centre.

[CortinaDave]

I could get a newer car on HP if i wanted one... I dont understand why people can get it into their skull that i drive old cars because i like them, not because im poverty stricken!Coming home from a night out on Weds last week I was suddenly aware of the presence of no less than three police cars on my tail lights and all.. assuming they just wanted past I pulled to the side only for them to box me in! Turns out a car matching the description of mine was reportedly "full of guns" When all they found was some CDs and a mars bar wrapper they let me go. Couldn't believe it. The next night I'm driving home only to get pulled again, this time to a load of questions about the Probe... who's is it, where did I get it etc.. I was then summoned to sit in the back of the police car where they told me that my numberplate was registered to a DAF lorry and they suspected it was a stolen car. Turns out when I had a new back numberplate made up a couple of weeks ago they had put M575 instead of M757.. and I didnt notice. Whoops. Once they realised the car checked out OK i was let go....

[metrognome]

Pain in the arse I know.....but its a side effect of driving a shiter. Not wanting to start an arguement Sir but the circumstances were highly dubious. If some genuine low-life had just liberated you of the laptops and TWOCed the Audi the gentlemen concerned would now be recognised as outstanding members of society and worthy of several large drinks.......if your reasonable with them when you collect the swag you will get an explaination and an appology, try and bollock them and you will get a look of total blank indifference followed by a fuck-off tablet follwed by the possibilty of more random time wasting stoppages while out in the Audi.

[pompei]

A few years ago on a lane, I got forced off the road by a tractor on the wrong side of the road on a bend, and ended up in a ditch. Needless to say the tractor didn't stop, nor did his mate who was following in another tractor 100 yards behind.

 

Someone stopped and called Plod. The scenario:- CRX crashed off road, no sign of the tractors, nor the trailers they're pulling, although their tyre marks in the centre of the road are clear for all to see. So it's me who gets a grilling and has to produce documents etc. No attempt whatsoever was made to locate the two tractor drivers, and a few simple enquiries would have revealed their whereabouts.

 

Despite the fact I was in a suit, I'm sure they thought I was a hooligan because I was in an old Japanese sports car.

 

I think there is a shared feeling that some members of the force go for the path of least resistance, and this is in part responsible for a lack of confidence in them.

 

There is one of those blue signs on the A164 that announces something like 155 Speeders Caught - someone made a similar blue sign with the correct white lettering and put it beneath saying How Many Car Thieves Caught? It goes without saying that it disappeared within hours, and before I could get a pic

[pandamonium]

Its sometimes just a case of wrong place wrong time. I once got a half hour car and person search including going through my company PDA and phone to look for dodgy images, because someone had reported a man harrassing young girls, showing them obscene photos and asking them to come with him. The only description was a man in a dark blue car. I was in my brand new company Astra. The CID who did the search were very polite and considerate, once they had established I was no pervert (Police drove by with girls in car and they confirmed it wasn't me!). I knew someone in the force (service!) who told me a month later that they eventually caught the culprit - a dark blue beemer driver. I could have been p1ssed off and bitter, but I had to think what I would have expected if it were my children at risk, and I have to admire the police's speed and thoroughness.

[ayd]

of course there are circumstances and yes they are only doing their job, I appreciate that as pointed out, they'd be the first I'd call in an emergeny but after an hour getting the lappys back it seems that no Audi has been reported in these thefts, in fact there is a good possibility there was no thefts at all. I was polite all the way through as I always am but nearing the end of the inital confrontation I was losing my patience but still remained calm. Likewise when we went to produce our evidence, polite again but no apology what so everI just can't shift the thought that if I was using my saab which is a lot newer and 'posher' my simple explanation would have been enough........Living in a small village (it was town cops for 15 miles away who stopped me rather than the local bobby) it's only a matter of time before the rumor mill starts from local passers by and I bet by the weekend I'm a convicted murderer who was caught with haked up bodies in the boot!!!!! :Das a foot note, I do appreciate the job our force do and sometimes it's a thankless task.

[seth]

What a pain ayd. I'd have thought he might have rung your boss if you we being reasonable and had been happy with them searching etc. especially as the car, cards etc all checked out.

[reallyloud]

Hmmm....like you say on the face of it the copper is using his instincts and I guess it would be 50/50 whether you are so obviously getting on with your life or on your way to a crack den.

 

I got stopped a lot in this car:

 

 

About twice a month for most of 2005. On the face of it as an 'ethnic' driving a car that looks like it been dragged out of the thames, I shouldn't really have been surprised. I learned to carry all documents with me and seemly established a knowing relationship with the West Midlands Police authority - but while I was at the other end of a crime (my Merc 190 got swiped outside my house) I got absolutely no attention other than a pamplet.

 

The only other thing I can add is that you make an offical complaint but whether that gets you anywhere or not is not clear.

[ayd]

I really can't be bothered making a complaint even though the main copper in this was kind of abusive from the off...it'll only create more hassle for me in the long run......plus I can't be bothered making a fuss when in the majority my dealings with the law have been plesent :DAnyway I shall continue to choose my shitter over my posher every time, after all I don't think the Wife would appreciate me taking the Saab back off her :DVIV LA SHITTER

[Guest greenvanman]

All to no avail, they confiscate the laptops as my cards are registered in my name and I carry my driving licence so they cant deny that and now I have to go to the Police station to produce documents for the car and for the laptops......

Funny that, I always thought it was up to them to prove you've committed a crime, rather than you having to prove that you didn't commit one. I'm not saying all coppers are arseholes, but I've never met one that wasn't.

[pogweasel]

Yes, I know this one. Had one memorable occasion when I felt the wrath of Essex's least happy bobby. First of all, I (perhaps foolishly) refused to yield when he attempted to cut me up on a roundabout (no lights), so tailed me for 5 miles before giving me the nee-naws.Usual palarver ensues. "Your car sir?""Yes""Name & Address please"I provide. "Rather a long way from home aren't you sonny?"50, maybe 60 miles, yes perhaps, but it's part of my job to travel. And yes, I do do 25k a year in shonk-mobiles. "Check the contents please".Oh no. In the boot are a collection of work-related items. Total-station theodolite, nearly new with a retail price of £15,000 plus associated tripods, optical level yadda yadda. Probably easily 20k altogether. This arouses suspicion, despite me providing evidence of whom I am working for and where (We'll check the site says bobby bright spark - great move as I'm usually on my tod). Then the real fun starts when he spies the "extra" tools. 7lb + 14lb sledge hammers, drill, various wrecking/crowbars, and so on. And some tins of spray marker paint. Essentials for my job. Also essential apparently for breaking / entering / hardcore graffitti. So you can kinda guess what happened next, can't you. Basically a whole mornings work lost tring not to get banged up / have my stuff confiscated on the circumstantial sniffings of a bad mooded twunt. V. Grr.

[wilko]

I have had several run-ins with the law via driving the "wrong" kind of car...The funniest one by far was in me & brother's old "gringo" Veedub - it was obtained a couple of years ago for about £500 through mate-of-mate-of-mate... 1200 LHD drum braked mexican import, which looked a bit scruff - having rebuilt the engine, fitted the new "gangsta" spec stereo, exhaust & K&N we went out for a "cruise", wearing hoodies and in my bro's case, a baseball cap (crime alert!)...After about 10 minutes of 50mph "cruise" time on the local trunk road, (dropping gears and accelerating with the windows down to listen to the new blatting noise coming out of the boot was also involved), queue Volvo estate complete with blue flashing lights behind...The bloke was an absolute w*nker - your stereotypical arrogant 40-something traffic cop. He took my fag and pulled it apart to sniff the contents, asked us to "step out of the vehicle" and proceeded to search it - when he asked "if we had anything we shouldn't have", my brother produced a Bob Marley CD and told him we "stole it off mum"!He then proceeded to ask me for ID, which I didn't have, and then search me... this task completed, he asked my brother the same question, at which point he produced his Bedfordshire Constabulary warrant card - the look on the blokes face was absolutely priceless Guess what - no "producer"...Also got pulled that year by a riot van in Luton for looking dodgy in an alloyed-up Sapphire GLSi, but they were sound as a pound & didn't even bother with a search when they saw the boot was filled to the brim with tools and banger racing gear.I am expecting muchos interest from the local po-lice in my new big-bore exhausted Nissan pimp mobile...

[pompei]

I also got pulled once driving a mate's Alfa 75 3litre - I'd put some go-juice in, forgot to put the filler cap back on (durr ) and was going back to get it. Apparently Dibble didn't like the way I went round a roundabout, said petrol splashed out onto his nice Volvo, and his wife hated the smell of petrol that came through the air intake. He went on to say that if he had had a cigarette in his hand, I could be up for something more serious ...Best thing was - I got an instruction to do a survey a couple of weeks later - guess whose house it was, and boy was he polite to me.

[Adrian_pt]

Seriously unlucky mate. This summer I will be driving around in Romania (do charity work over there in an orphanage - very moral) in a 1973, very batteredm black ex-Party Volga saloon, two wings in primer, that kind of thing. I expect to be pulled over lots........

[wuvvum]

I don't think I've ever been pulled specifically because I was driving a shite car. Last time I was pulled was in the Mazda 121, but that was because I was accelerating a little too energetically away from a roundabout. Even then the copper didn't even look over the car - he just ran the details through his computer and the car came back as being taxed and tested and in my name, so he just gave me a producer for my insurance and that was the end of it. In fact, much as I dislike the police, I am forced to confess that whenever I have been pulled there has been a good reason for it and, with the exception of one patronising little knob some years ago, the officers involved have invariably been courteous and professional about the whole thing. Maybe it's living in Norfolk that does it - I've heard bad things about forces in some other parts of the country.

[Baz]

They have a job to do....Fine....But why do they always have to be so condescending and sarcastic?

 

One of our vehicles was pulled by the Police on Friday for a defect, of which the driver had not yet become aware....I ended up talking to the officer briefly, and his smart-ass comments had me biting hard on my tongue....

 

Saying what I felt like saying, which was "WHY DON'T YOU F*CK RIGHT OFF, YOU SMARMY LITTLE PR*CK" probably wouldn't have been advantageous for the driver in question....Or me for that matter!

 

To be honest, I'm related to two members of Norfolk's Special Constabulary, and listening to them proudly recalling their exploits on duty at family gatherings, I get the impression that they "Get off" on the authority that they feel their uniform gives them....I'd have a whole lot more respect for a polite, professional officer, than I have for the supercilious little turds that I've come across!

 

They're all bent anyway....Allegedly!

[Marty]

New years morning a copule of years ago and I was working the early shift on the Orthopods ward - driving to work and spotted a police Montego going the other way with one headlamp out - which made me look at the car, which in turn made him turn right around and follwo me the 14 miles to work where upon he decided to give the car a thorough going over and when I (kindly and not at all sarcastically) pointed out his fooked headlamp he decided to breathalize me.Git.Needless to say I had not been drinking as I knew I was working the early shift - so it was Kaliber all the way for me the night before.The only other time I was pulled in an old shitter the copper admitted she had tugged me because it was such a dog rough looking car, there HAD to be somthing wrong with it - when I explained I worked for the TOWER project with the local pond life she understood fully why I drove such a battered looking car.

[pompei]

Was howling with laughter today ...Heard on the radio that 5 officers from the Gwent force had been going out on jollies, including to the beach at Weston Super Mare. They had also been on the log flume at Barry Island photographing themselves.Three were "forced to resign", and the other two censured in their pay.

[MrRegieRitmo]

New years morning a couple of years ago spotted a police Montego

Sure it was only a couple of years ago?

[Marty]

New years morning a couple of years ago spotted a police Montego

Sure it was only a couple of years ago?

If I was doing the early on New Years it must have been pre 1998

[wuvvum]

Well ain't that just spooky? Went out last night to get some diesel and got tailed for about half a mile by a police Mondeo, who followed me into the petrol station and then came over for a chat. Their reason for stopping me was that the car was showing up as uninsured, but they started following me as soon as they saw me so it's obvious they pulled me 'cos I was out driving a shitter late at night. One of the coppers actually said "It's a bit of a wreck isn't it? Still, to each their own I suppose". Still, they were polite enough and didn't seem interested in turning out the contents of my car and my pockets - one of them checked the tax disc and the tyres while the other one wrote out a producer, but that was it.

[MrRegieRitmo]

it's obvious they pulled me 'cos I was out driving a shitter late at night.

I'm not sure I'm following why the fuzz are interested in old cars.....just sounds like they're being snobbish to me! I thought it was traditional for them to go after people whose cars appear too good for them?!

[Volksy]

I think the mentality is, Shite car = No MOT, No Tax, No Insurance, poor driver, badly maintained yadda yadda yadda..I mean, who would possibly WANT to drive round in an old cheap car, when you can get a new one on finance for only....blah blah...snore..

[Guest greenvanman]

it's obvious they pulled me 'cos I was out driving a shitter late at night.

I'm not sure I'm following why the fuzz are interested in old cars.....just sounds like they're being snobbish to me! I thought it was traditional for them to go after people whose cars appear too good for them?!

I remember the last time I got stopped in my old 405. The boot was stoved in when I got it but by then had a padlock & hasp to hold it shut as the lock had failed completely. All the nearside bodywork was smashed in where it had been hit by an uninsured idiot while parked, the n/s mirror was just a stump and it had no front passenger seat - not exactly concours. Plod stopped me, asked all the usual questions and gave me a producer. No problem, but do they really think someone would be so stupid as to drive around in such a heap without it being 100% legal?

[mk2_craig]

I think they have good reason. Some years back I took my demic old XR2 replica on a 700 mile round trip and was on my way with my then long-distance girlfriend to go and collect a set of alloys for the car from Bristol, prior to selling the Fiesta Popular rims shod with 135/80R13 rubber that were fitted to the car, which itself was brush painted various shades of Hammerite Black. And registered on Jersey plates (I was at uni during this period)Plod pulls over, all very friendly, licence shown, comments made about how far inside the arches those wheels were sitting, I was at pains to point out that the car was 100% mechanically despite its shonky appearance, and a few mins later we were on our way.A week later when back in Edinburgh, three-up, one of the passengers comments on the grinding noise emanating from the front end somewhere. A quick look behind the wheels reveals all four pads to be down to the metal

[Rocket88]

A few years ago, a mate of mine had a blue Pontiac Grand prix [extremely large 2 door Yank coupe, 455 cu in big block etc, proper muscle] and I had a blue Olsmobile Starfire [small, smaller than Capri size hatchback, with a wheezing four pot] His car was "borrowed" by some pond life for about three days. During that time I was pulled twice by local plod, "looking for a stolen American car", saying as my mate had provided pictures of his car, and the only similarity to mine was that is was blue, and both left hookers, on the second occassion I was stopeed [in a fairly aggresive manner] I got a little hacked off. which resulted in me being brethalised, and both me and the car being virually strip searched at the side of the road. When i tell you this was in Jersey [all 45 square miles of it] the word was soon out that I'd been done for DIC, and they'd found copious amounts of drugs in the car, and I'd stolen the car as well. Needless to say, my parents weren't too impressed, although I evetnually got an apology off plod, it taught me never to be mouthy to the boys in blue, whatever the situation

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I hate Coppers with a real venom.Back in 1998 I had just bought my first house - a repossession cash sale with every bean I had - and was pretty skint. I bought a Y plate Sierra from the auctions with a months tax left. I got pulled up coming out of a pub car park, breathalised etc. Two smarmy little bastards in an Astra. One of them radioed through and found out to his glee that the tax disc was from something else. I explained that I'd had the car 3 days and still had the receipt. That wasn't good enough so I was handcuffed and taken to Aylesbury pig sty where I was questioned for 4 hours. I was then asked for my address so they could search my house. I refused. They told me to my face that unless I coughed for a stolen disc and allowed the search, I would be held in a cell and be up before the magistrates. My useless duty solicitor said that yes, they probably would. So I allowed a house search on the proviso that I went along too. So I was taken to my rented house where the pigs found another out of date tax disc and a V5 logbook for a VW Golf. BINGO!!!They charged me with theft of a tax disc and released me on bail.I presented myself twice in the following 2 months, a 300 mile round trip from my new place, only to be told that 'the officer in question is on a course' - probably a course on how to be an even bigger wanker than he already is. The desk Sergeant told me to wait for a letter. No letter came. I rang, and never got much of an answer. Oh well, I'll keep waiting.Fast forward to May 2000. I'm driving back to Notts in a new Focus from wherever and I got a tug for speeding. Fair cop, I was doing 80 in a 60. I pulled into the forecourt of a filling station whilst the Volvo Cop radioed through the details. "I'm sorry Sir, but I'm going to have to arrest you" Why? Because there had been an outstanding warrant for my arrest since 1998. I was taken to Worksop police station overnight and taken - handcuffed - in a Group 4 Security van - down to Aylesbury the following morning. You can't imagine how awful that is, being cuffed to a copper whilst you go for a slash in the services. I have a public school education and a good job - I'm not a thieving scratter, never have been.What the stupid bastards had been doing was sending court summons to my old address. They denied me ever giving them my new one so I asked the officer in attendance in court how it was they managed to send the VW Golf logbook to my new address if the didn't have it. "Er, we'll have to look into that". I pleaded not guilty to a stolen tax disc and pleaded a confession obtained under duress.For my trouble I got a £350 fine and a criminal record. I lodged a complaint with Police Complaints Authority and got nowhere. To be fair, the copper who pulled me for speeding in the Focus let me off the speeding thing. We had a good chat about cars and he was a bloke in his late forties, probably the last of the old breed.