Autoshite motor museum--- what shite would we HAVE to have

[Rusty Pelican]

Just had a crazy thought of an Autoshite car museum , say a top 30 of total chod , rent a leaky cold warehouse somewhere and fill it with rusty wrecks. We could charge a fee to get in and do tempoary repairs with duck tape on visitors cars , Even have a cafe with paper plates and cups and that stupid plastic cutlery that melts and snaps .When they are beyond display we could sell em off at our Shite car supermarket at 300% interest and give £10 part exchange on their chod to restock the museum.Anyway heres a couple of my " Must haves " , stupid thread I admit but it keeps me amused.City rover , Total crap and pride of place at the entranceLada Riva estate in brown

[pogweasel]

Talbot Horizon, Alpine, Solara, Tagora, RanchoAustin Allegro, Maxi, 3-litreMorris MarinaFSO PolonezYugo 311Renault 6, 12, 14, 16, 20

[FredTransit]

How about a really scabby Mk5 transit in the commercial section? maybe a nice converted camper ambulance.....

[Richard]

You've more or less described the Scottish Vintage Bus Museum.

 

 

[pogweasel]

ZOMG, would you look at that Granada! Sexual.

How about a really scabby Mk5 Transit

Wouldn't that be a current one?

[Milford Cubicle]

A Mk5 to Fred is probably a Mk2 on its third facelift to everybody else.

[Richard]

I think the Mk5 is the Mk3 on its second facelift.

[FredTransit]

A Mk5 to Fred is probably a Mk2 on its third facelift to everybody else.

NO!

A Mk5 to Fred is probably a Mk2 on its third facelift to everybody else.

YES! 1994-2001(ish) so most over 10 years old now. Not shite enough?

[Milford Cubicle]

I'd like to see a Renault Master in the commercials section.

 

 

I really like the mad 'Judge Dredd' styling and they're under-appreciated.

[Richard]

A Mk5 to Fred is probably a Mk2 on its third facelift to everybody else.

NO!

 

 

A Mk5 to Fred is probably a Mk2 on its third facelift to everybody else.

YES! 1994-2001(ish) so most over 10 years old now. Not shite enough?

So who's right- Milford Cubicle or Milford Cubicle?

 

The SVBM also has a Sherpa Coupé- apart from the one on the transporter of course.

 

[FredTransit]

I'd like to see a Renault Master in the commercials section.

 

 

I really like the mad 'Judge Dredd' styling and they're under-appreciated.

Top choice, specially that one, though it doesn't have anything held together with gaffer tape....

[trigger]

There's a F reg High top Master near me on axle stands, I must try and get a photo of it.We had a similar thread to this a while back, I'd like to see some grotty old vans there myself.

[Pillock]

Top choice, specially that one, though it doesn't have anything held together with gaffer tape....

No, but it does have residue from previous vinyl stickering.Any commercial would also have to have a mountain of empty coke cans, copies of The Sun and Snickers wrappers piled between the dashtop and the windscreen. I'd want to see an early Mk5 Escort 1.3 with faded bumpers and those slatty wheeltrims. It could be joined by an early Sierra in "Slatty Wheeltrim Corner".We could also have an exhibit of "The Evolution of Reps", with Mk1/2/3 Cavaliers in a row, followed by a ropey V6 Vectra (pre-facelift) dribbling oil onto the floor. A Ledbury Maestro would have to be in, to show how far car design had come by 2001.And then the tour would exit through the giftshop, where we'd have* Autoshite-branded gaffer tape* Stocks of exhaust gum and radiator leak stopper* Some random odd-shaped bits from cars that could be suspension, maybe an engine mount, ooh hang on what's that stamped into it?* Those triangular stickers from the 70s/80s that you used to collect and then aim to make into a full circle but you never finished it so it looked like an angular pac-man* An Autoshite truckers cap, with mesh back.* Driving gloves* A Little Chef-style roadmap that lists locations of all the Autoshite museums (one, naturally) but has horribly out of date road information.

[Guest]

[FredTransit]

* Those triangular stickers from the 70s/80s that you used to collect and then aim to make into a full circle but you never finished it so it looked like an angular pac-man

What are those? Don't remember em....

* An Autoshite truckers cap, with mesh back.

Me! Me! Do they come in different colours? Would an Autoshite Museum tax disc holder be too sensible?

[Pillock]

* Those triangular stickers from the 70s/80s that you used to collect and then aim to make into a full circle but you never finished it so it looked like an angular pac-man

What are those? Don't remember em....

 

 

etc etc. You could get them from most places, and they were always the same size so they fitted alongside each other. I never made a full circle, there was a girl at school who's parents Mk2 Escort Estate had TWO full circles in the back windows. Posh bint. I HATED YOU SAMATHA OSBOURNE. (I didn't - I fancied the pants off her).

[Richard]

I didn't know you were meant to make circles with them.

 

I spotted this Volvo at John o' Groats in the summer, it would make a good exhibit.

 

 

[FredTransit]

Right I do remember them, but I thought they were supposed to be flags.

[Albert Ross]

Every parking space would have an oil stain in it, the AA and RAC would have their own designated pull-in spots. There would be a 'bus fron the local station. Leyland National on weekdays, Atlantean on weekends. I reckon we would have to have a Land Rover with Harvey Frost recovery gear to make sure the exhibits able to start, were guaranteed to make it back. A nice converted railway carriage for a cafe would be good. Maybe an old lady like Stan's Mum off "on the 'buses" would be good. Perhaps celebrity days would work. "Meet the team responsible for the styling of the Mk3 Astra" might attract a visitor......... maybe. Or indeed the Corsa. Or indeed the AA (Who would have their own designated space.) And the Ambulance service. etc etc etc.

[The Liberator]

Maybe the making-them-into-a-circle thing was invented by Samantha Osbourne, because she'd been to more old castles and Safari Parks than anyone else.

[trigger]

You can still buy them hoilday pendents on ebay from isaydingdong

 

They will even make them up for you, Last summer i asked for one saying Felixstowe which they made for me and sarted to sell in there shop, At christmas i saw the same sticker on the door of the caravan in the christmas special of The Royal Family.

[FredTransit]

Every parking space would have an oil stain in it, the AA and RAC would have their own designated pull-in spots. There would be a 'bus fron the local station. Leyland National on weekdays, Atlantean on weekends. I reckon we would have to have a Land Rover with Harvey Frost recovery gear to make sure the exhibits able to start, were guaranteed to make it back. A nice converted railway carriage for a cafe would be good. Maybe an old lady like Stan's Mum off "on the 'buses" would be good. Perhaps celebrity days would work. "Meet the team responsible for the styling of the Mk3 Astra" might attract a visitor......... maybe. Or indeed the Corsa. Or indeed the AA (Who would have their own designated space.) And the Ambulance service. etc etc etc.

OO OOO I can do the ambulances, I used to be in the St John;s ans still have the uniform. It's a bit tight now though....

[Pillock]

Maybe the making-them-into-a-circle thing was invented by Samantha Osbourne, because she'd been to more old castles and Safari Parks than anyone else.

Maybe so.... I remember seeing quite a few cars where they'd stuck them together along the longer sides though. It wasn't just me and her. Honest.*sulks*.

[Guest]

The entire drinks range would be supplied by Ben Shaws.

[Albert Ross]

Surely warm Panda Pops..... A shonky Ice cream van too.A crap bar, with handled nuts, soft crisps (is that an oxymoron?) and flat Robinsons bitter, and Ayingerbrau Lager from Sam Smiths brewery.............. Sausage rolls, crispy edged egg mayonnaise sandwiches would be good. Toilets with pineapple chunks in, that permanently smell of piss, whether they have been used or not, slippery floors, and a cleaner with a Woodbine glued to her bottom lip. And a bad attitude, preferred Tourettes too.

[garethj]

say a top 30 of total chod , rent a leaky cold warehouse somewhere and fill it with rusty wrecks. We could charge a fee to get in and do tempoary repairs with duck tape on visitors cars , Even have a cafe with paper plates and cups and that stupid plastic cutlery that melts and snaps .When they are beyond display we could sell em off at our Shite car supermarket at 300% interest and give £10 part exchange on their chod to restock the museum.

You've pretty much described Stondon Motor Museum, I love it there. The owner is obviously rich and something of a mental basket-case to choose what he's got.Surely a lesson why none of us can become rich, it'll all end in tears and a metallic gold Volkswagen 412

[Pete-M]

There's serious need for a Peugeot 604. In an awful colour.

 

For autoshitey stickers, the Escort has this - which will hopefully survive the restoration.

 

 

There are a couple of German RAC type stickers on it as well.

[garethj]

There's serious need for a Peugeot 604. In an awful colour.

Were they available in nice colours?I was showing that black Tagora on leboncoin.fr to a mate last week. He said the interior was lovely, the soft draylon seats camouflaged the mould perfectly

[Cavcraft]

Mk2 Astra in lacquer peel metallic blue with rusty arches and mis-matched wheeltrims.

[Pillock]

We could have a whole range of wheeltrims for sale. In packs of 1, 2 and 3 so you can mix and match your own.