If Autoshite Did Agony Aunt

[Father Ted]

"Why don't men write relationship column advice ... ?

 

 

 

Dear Autoshite,

 

I hope you can help me. Recently I went to work, while my husband stayed at

home as usual. I had gone just 3 Miles, when the motor in the car died.

I started walking back home to my husband to seek help. When I arrived home,

I could not believe what I saw: He was in bed with the neighbour's daughter!

I am 32 years old, my husband is 34, and the neighbour's daughter is 22! We

have been married 10 years.

 

When I started yelling at him, he confessed that the two had been having an

affair for the past six months. I told him that I would leave him if he

didn't end it now. He lost his job six months ago and says that he feels

useless and depressed. I really love him, but since I gave him the ultimatum

he seems even more withdrawn from me. He rejects the idea of a marriage

counsellor, and my conversation attempts seem not to penetrate through to

him.

 

Can you please give advice?

 

 

Susanne

 

------------ --------- --------- -------

 

Dear Susanne

 

When an engine shuts down after just 3 miles, there can be a whole series of causes. Initially ensure that the fuel line is clean and free. Check the operation of the injector and the fuse box, its position is described in

the operating instructions. If all this is not the cause, it's probably a

fuel pump defect, which is why the injectors are underserved and unable to build up the necessary pressure to function.

 

 

I hope this helps.

 

 

Autoshite

x

 

 

 

(Blatantly robbed and changed a bit from PM)

[FredTransit]

Are you sure it's not seized?

[Dukestar25]

Dear Suzanne

Have you ever seen these places while out driving in your car?

It helps to visit them once in a while....

 

Autoshite

x

[Pete-M]

Dear Suzanne,You may well be better off shaggin' that weird bloke from the top of the street with a load of old cars littered all over the place. He may have oily fingerprints but your car won't break down quite that often. You'll keep fuel in it because the gauge will be broken.P.S, is the neighbours daughter fit? If she's into skint blokes then send her to the same bloke. He'll fix your car for free if you set him up.Hope this helps, Autoshite.

[Negative Creep]

Dear AutoshiteI was chatting to a single female friend of mine recently. I told her about my latest 2 cars in some depth. I talked about the £50 Clio and how I would see what it needed for an MOT then either sell or scrap it. Then I talked about my ZX diesel and how being the non turbo it was more economical. I then explained about the superior torque and how the 'real world' performance was better as power was available lower down in the rev range. I explained cheaper cars are good for saving money and how you don't worry about image.Then she just looked bored and walked off! Am I doing anything wrong or was she just some kind of weirdo?

[pogweasel]

Dear AutoshiteI was chatting to a single female friend of mine recently. I told her about my latest 2 cars in some depth. I talked about the £50 Clio and how I would see what it needed for an MOT then either sell or scrap it. Then I talked about my ZX diesel and how being the non turbo it was more economical. I then explained about the superior torque and how the 'real world' performance was better as power was available lower down in the rev range. I explained cheaper cars are good for saving money and how you don't worry about image.Then she just looked bored and walked off! Am I doing anything wrong or was she just some kind of weirdo?

Dear Writer, Sounds like you had a lucky escape. Perhaps try getting in contact with Suzanne (see above), fix her car and you're guaranteed some action. Actually you'd probably get some revenge sex anyway without having to bother fixing her motor. Hope this helps. Autoshite. xxx

[Negative Creep]

Dear AutoshiteI was chatting to a single female friend of mine recently. I told her about my latest 2 cars in some depth. I talked about the £50 Clio and how I would see what it needed for an MOT then either sell or scrap it. Then I talked about my ZX diesel and how being the non turbo it was more economical. I then explained about the superior torque and how the 'real world' performance was better as power was available lower down in the rev range. I explained cheaper cars are good for saving money and how you don't worry about image.Then she just looked bored and walked off! Am I doing anything wrong or was she just some kind of weirdo?

Dear Writer, Sounds like you had a lucky escape. Perhaps try getting in contact with Suzanne (see above), fix her car and you're guaranteed some action. Actually you'd probably get some revenge sex anyway without having to bother fixing her motor. Hope this helps. Autoshite. xxx

Dear sirsCould you pass me on said writer's details? Since I have an estate it will be GR8 4 LURVIN with the seats down. Regards