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Adventures in the shallow end. *Now with Svart Djur content*


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#61 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 04:06 PM

This has been the most educational course I've been on for ages but I've no idea why CBT is rude? Does it refer to the Cunts Bums n Tums fitness class at our local community centre?

Definitely don't put CBT in Wikipedia and click on the result that says Cock & Ball Torture.

Just don't.
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#62 OFFLINE   vulgalour

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 04:07 PM

Sorry to be such a disappointment everyone.


No need to apologise, disappointment is what we're all here for.
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#63 OFFLINE   aldo135

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 04:13 PM

Haha thanks for that, really glad I didn't look that up! Still not sure why you'd have to go through that to get a bike licence?
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#64 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 04:18 PM

Haha thanks for that, really glad I didn't look that up! Still not sure why you'd have to go through that to get a bike licence?


That's just for a 125.
You really don't want to know what you have to do to ride a 650.
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#65 OFFLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 04:21 PM

attachicon.gif 20190125_201505.jpg

attachicon.gif20190125_201907.jpg


Sorry to be such a disappointment everyone.

 

For once, you really have let us down. Dreadful cars (soz) must do better. Nothing/several hundred.


"As for actually admitting to liking Corsas on a public forum: you're a bollock-brained, biscuit-eating, faux-northern, bastardy, bollocky, wank-brain"

#66 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 04:24 PM

For once, you really have let us down. Dreadful cars (soz) must do better. Nothing/several hundred.



Fair comment. Do you know of any online forums for people that are enthused by dreadful cars?
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#67 OFFLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 04:27 PM

Fair comment. Do you know of any online forums for people that are enthused by dreadful cars?

tumblr_ow1ycinn2j1vfecm0o1_1280.png


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"As for actually admitting to liking Corsas on a public forum: you're a bollock-brained, biscuit-eating, faux-northern, bastardy, bollocky, wank-brain"

#68 OFFLINE   Skizzer

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 04:27 PM

We had the LOLlest collection thread in a while and pictures of a misery spec 309 - from where I’m sitting the only* thing we’ve missed out on is a petrol station shot.

You can feel unfulfilled**if you like, but I don’t see you have owt to apologise for.




*Oh, and a poo count, but that’s ok.

** This implies that a diesel 309 Zest was likely to leave you feeling fulfilled in the first place. That’s a bit of a leap, really.
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#69 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 04:30 PM

Not even a collection threads could be the next craze.
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#70 OFFLINE   Broadsword

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 04:49 PM

Shame the 309 was broken. I had seen it for sale a while back and thought it belonged on this forum.

#71 OFFLINE   Talbot

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 06:15 PM

He's firm at what I offered (which was cheap)


Willing to divulge how much that was? The shaft seal on non-turbo injekshun pumps are easy to change with the pump in situ, and the O-rings are a standard component, so are pence from a bearing supplier. 309s are just about the cheapest motoring possible.

309 1.9D is a bit of an oddball as the 309 continued using the XUD9 square-port engine well into the 90s, whereas every other PSA product had moved on to the XUD9A Oval-Port engine by the latter part of the 80s.
Current fleet:  Mercedes.  Xantia.  Berlingo.  Discovery.  Forward Control.  Nova. Historic shite.

#72 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 06:21 PM

Willing to divulge how much that was? The shaft seal on non-turbo injekshun pumps are easy to change with the pump in situ, and the O-rings are a standard component, so are pence from a bearing supplier. 309s are just about the cheapest motoring possible.

309 1.9D is a bit of an oddball as the 309 continued using the XUD9 square-port engine well into the 90s, whereas every other PSA product had moved on to the XUD9A Oval-Port engine by the latter part of the 80s.

 

£500 with 67k on the clock and most of an MOT. 


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#73 OFFLINE   Talbot

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 06:34 PM

£500 with 67k on the clock and most of an MOT.


That are cheap. Seriously tempted. The pump repair would take minutes.
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#74 OFFLINE   fatharris

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 06:45 PM

Bummer man, looked a right cutie that.



#75 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 06:47 PM

That are cheap. Seriously tempted. The pump repair would take minutes.

 

Can pm you the lads number if you're feel adventurous man. 



#76 OFFLINE   richardmorris

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 06:49 PM

No need to apologise, disappointment is what we're all here for.


Disappointment is a step up from every day life for me.
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#77 OFFLINE   Fabergé Greggs

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 07:29 PM

A+ Form Jim Bells.

The disappointment is inconsequential
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#78 OFFLINE   brandersnatch

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 07:41 PM

Bloke I haven’t met hasn’t bought a car but has given me entertainment. I remain undisappointed.


One’s too many, ten’s not enough!
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One's too many, ten's not enough!

#79 OFFLINE   richardmorris

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 07:44 PM

Definitely don't put CBT in Wikipedia and click on the result that says Cock & Ball Torture.
Just don't.


It takes all sorts as my gran used to say. I don’t judge, just wince.
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#80 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 07:51 PM

It takes all sorts as my gran used to say. 

 

 

Did she work at the Bassetts factory?


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#81 OFFLINE   richardmorris

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 07:59 PM

Did she work at the Bassetts factory?


No, but she was very grounded. Down to earth as they say. The only thing I think shocked her was Jim Bowen at the afternoon bingo one day. She walked out, but not before complaining to the management. Crude and rude she said.
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#82 OFFLINE   rainagain

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 08:20 PM

I changed the throttle o-rings on a Lucas pumped diesel clio. It was dead easy it went something like this
1. Disconnect throttle linkage
2. Remove small bolts holding top cover on
3. Lift the top cover up gently and disconnect linkage going to spindle
4. Remove spindle
5. Replace o-rings on spindle
6. Put back together

I had pics but I think photobucket has eaten them
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#83 OFFLINE   purplebargeken

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 08:29 PM

Fuggin' hel, I was going to say is it a Pug or a Citroen!!!!

 

By the way, I am that healthcare professional pictured earlier. Just greyer and with less hair, also a bit older. Otherwise, yes, it's me.


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#84 OFFLINE   JoeyEunos

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 08:30 PM

If this is what the future of chod purchasing looks like then count me in.

 

I seems to me that you've enjoyed all of the fun of the chase/planning elements and yet actually got to know what was really wrong with the car before you'd paid for it it and driven it home thus cutting out the misery/remorse element of the whole process. I can't decide whether it's witchcraft or cheating...

 

I'm impressed and have taken notes.


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#85 OFFLINE   rainagain

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 08:56 PM

I found one pic with the lid off, my memory must be going it looks like you don’t even need to disconnect the throttle spindle just remove the cover. You can see the two black o-rings on it in the pic.

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#86 ONLINE   snagglepuss

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 11:00 PM

I arrived for the CBT
Stayed for the car
Then hung around the emergency exit waiting for Barry shit peas to sign my moobs after the disappointment


11/10 would get moobs signed again
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#87 OFFLINE   Christine

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 11:27 PM

If I removed the top cover of a diesel pump, I just know,  a pile of ball bearings and little springs and levers would fly out...... :-(  :-(


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#88 OFFLINE   JoeyEunos

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 11:55 PM

If I removed the top cover of a diesel pump, I just know,  a pile of ball bearings and little springs and levers would fly out...... :-(  :-(

 

This X1000.

 

I've owned multiple derv cars but never opened a diesel pump, life's too short.


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#89 OFFLINE   Maurice Marina

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Posted 27 January 2019 - 08:46 AM

No epic collection today. Just a run down the road and back. Hardly even worth putting your jacket on.
attachicon.gifScreenshot_20190126-125215_Maps.jpg


For one awful moment I thought that was Sunderland.
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#90 ONLINE   taxi paul

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Posted 27 January 2019 - 08:58 AM

Top thread. Informative and humerous. Would read again. I am still on my one car limit although the T5 volvo is really really stirring my loins. Stankys celica was mine and is a very fine car. Also have had a prelude, from our very own Bob the beard. My lad had a gold volvo which he sold local and has regretted ever since.




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