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Shitting in the shallow end. *Bile Hatred* pseudo collection.


Jim Bell

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Well I've been a bit worried about the little AX. I thought the fuel gauge must be iffy because it got to half a tank on the way back from Wellingbrough and then just stopped there. I'd done 300 miles so thought I must be getting near the end of the tank. Decided to go and fill up to see what the craic was.

 

The car very occasionally spluttered too. Which is a puzzler. It's apparently had new plugs, leads, coil,fuel filter, among other things so not sure what it could be (cap or arm maybe?)

 

Remembering I had a gift card in my wallet from a few cyristmasses ago, I thought why not try a bit of snake oil.

 

To the bicycle assembly shoppe!

 

 

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This shit looks like serious business.

 

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Purple pisswater holder .

 

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Armed with the bottle of lies, I went and filled up the tank.

 

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Holy shit. Well it really was on about half a tank then. Wonder how the maths work out?

 

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What the fucktoilet?

 

61 mpg?!

 

Is that possible?

 

Checked my maths and the odo and can't think what else would be wrong. Over 298 miles, it seems to have averaged over 60 miles to the gallon.

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Now that I've added about 30 percent to the value of the car by filling it with petrol and putting new floor mats in, I think it's time to think about security.

 

 

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I'd like to see any sneak thief get past THIS Thatcham non-approved novelty period correct security device.

 

 

 

And just so they know who they're fucking with.......

 

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Fully secure. I can now sleep soundly in my bed.

 

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I used Forte injector cleaner in the Volvo a couple of weeks back with entirely underwhelming results and no discernible difference made but then it wasn't broken or running badly in the first place. Hopefully it provides you with some joy, bon chance.

 

I must say I really like the look of this small Renault (Citroen) Floor mats look good and the interior also seems incredibly tidy given the age of the car, might be worth treating it to a new gear gaiter as the piece de resistance?

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I must say I really like the look of this small Renault (Citroen) Floor mats look good and the interior also seems incredibly tidy given the age of the car, might be worth treating it to a new gear gaiter as the piece de resistance?

 

Its pretty tidy but then its not even done 50k yet.  

 

Good shout on the gator though man.  I might see if I can talk the missus into knitting me one.

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Now that I've added about 30 percent to the value of the car by filling it with petrol and putting new floor mats in, I think it's time to think about security.

 

 

attachicon.gifIMG_20190322_140623.jpg

 

I'd like to see any sneak thief get past THIS Thatcham non-approved novelty period correct security device.

 

 

 

And just so they know who they're fucking with.......

 

attachicon.gifIMG_20190322_140227.jpg

 

 

 

Fully secure. I can now sleep soundly in my bed.

 

attachicon.gifIMG_20190322_165616.jpg

 

This is nice and all but that still doesn't stop anyone from just lifting up the car and putting it in their pocket. Never to be seen again...

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About sixteen years ago (In Jim Bell terms), I bought a Yaris from Stanky for the missus.

 

You might remember it from such collection threads as:

http://autoshite.com/topic/34268-boring-car-collection/page-1

 

 

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Yes I know the petrol cap is open. The release cables broken.

 

 

It's always had a little rattle at about 3k revs which I'd just put down to the timing chain. Ms JB informed me today that the car didn't like picking up speed going up hills any more and it didn't really like accelerating.

 

When she got it home I took it out for DIAGNOSIS and found that the clutch was indeed slipping. As it's a decent enough car, I think she's going to spring for a clutch change. Though she's still pondering her options.

 

In preparation, I started looking at clutch kits. There's some right cheap kits on eBay. Much cheaper than anticipated, which is good news. What's not good news is that there's actually three different engines in 1.3 Yaris's and the clutches arnt interchangeable.

 

 

I had a cursory look under the bonnet (dunno what I was expecting to see like) and found this.

 

https://youtu.be/8IjOGfLrKwI

 

 

 

 

 

At some point, the battery clamp has come undone and was dangling and jangling down in the undercroft of the bay. I pulled it up and bolted it down and went for a spin. Rattle at 3k is gone! Still needs a clutch but I've fixed the engine.

 

Swings and roundabouts innit.

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The AX is rocking dailly duties well enough but as I've just agreed to buy Bobthebeards Saab from the new fangled FOR SALE AND WANTED forum, the AX will be for sale/roffle.

 

 

Commuter MACHIN.
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There's loads of pics and info in this thread but I'll do a round up below.

It's a 1996 Citroen AX 1.0 (954) Elation.
It's on just over 48k.
Mot May 19.
Taxed and insured to fuck you away down any road you like.
It are red.
It has 3 doors and 4 forward gears (one reverse).

It is absolutely base spec.

Manual steering.
Manual glass sunroof.
No abs.
Manual windows.
Manual mirrors.
No air bags.
No central locking.
No imobilisor.
No transponders, just two good old fashioned keys.

Please check the MOT history, it's done ok.

Had new budget tyres recently.
Previous owner advised that it has recently had new cam belt, leads, plugs, coil, oil, oil/air filter and rear brakes.
There is no history to corroborate this, but the bits I can see, look honest and recent.

It has a Sony CD player and rear speakers that sounds far better than it has any right to.

Seats are glorious.

Pics flatter it but here's a couple (look back through thread for more).

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And now some non-arty pics taken this very day in poor light.


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I'm going to catch my breath and list characteristics in the next post.

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So what's the bad news?

 

Well, it's got scratches and dents (see below)

 

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Other characteristics of note:

 

Cabin blower only functions on level three.

 

Drivers side rear cluster is French. Sometimes has a rest. A light tap with s finger wakes it up. The MOT man apparently perfected this technique during the last test.

 

Car splutters a bit while driving occasionally.

 

When I say occasionally, I mean occasionally in every journey, not once a fortnight. I just drive through it. It's a momentary issue.

 

The interior boot trim panel is held on with cable ties.

 

The passenger door doesn't like being slammed. It likes being closed gently.

 

I don't think I can think of any other negs.

 

I've driven it nearly 500 miles, it's a dailly and it's averaged over 60 mpg so far.

 

 

It also has a full tank of petrol, that should be good for 600 miles on a run.

 

Price is exactly what I paid £358.

 

Other than tax it, insure it, and add £24 worth of mats and a gear lock, I've not spent money on it.

 

 

If theres interest, roffle would be £6.00 a go.

 

As ever, located in North East England, NE34.

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